Oddly specific things my D&D players are no longer allowed to do
Build a bridge out of birds
Buy 5200 thrushes, or any number of thrushes for that matter
Mention sea cats in any context, but especially a playable one
Waifu the same NPCs on subsequent playthroughs (The Don and Bryan Waifu Rule)
Make the DM ship even more goddamn ships involving the time traveling sad lesbian
Argue with the DM on how much damage a thrown frying pan can do
Debate with the DM about the merits of an ear trumpet or a tennis kit in combat
Buy ear trumpets or tennis kits to use them in combat
Look for genocidal, murderous spiders in castles, or anywhere else, really, unless they’re the small dragon cleric
Bring horses to space stations
Ask gods of immense power for horses
Be a local lord in areas where they don’t speak local languages
Ask why humans are called “humans”
Name their character after another player but with two letters rearranged, be it by accident or not, especially if it’s at 3am when the DM checks new character sheets and doesn’t realize the ramifications of the name
Have +3 Natural AC for no adequately explored reason
Pester the DM to roll for divine intervention
Ask about the genitalia of fictional species
Make reference to Bad Dragon during games or in the group’s Skype chats
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