NASA
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
if i look back, i am lost
Mike Driver
@theartofmadeline
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almost home
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
trying on a metaphor
pixel skylines
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
cherry valley forever
Kiana Khansmith
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Andulka
art blog(derogatory)
wallacepolsom
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@sebsdermont
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
It is just is for the best. She—I, I know it is.. And I guess nothing ever truly stays perfect.
Whatever you say, Mia. Your life. Your body. Your baby.Â
When is the appointment for?Â
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
Oh wow, so this is it then huh? I’m the bad person for making a decision, a decision we both know deep down is for the best. Just a year ago you we’re drinking and partying your life away and now you think you can just take care of a child?Â
I don't see how getting rid of your kid can ever be for the best. Just less than 6 month ago we were the perfect couple. Things change. Some for the better, some for the worse.
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
It is best for you too. I mean we’re not fit to being parents. I mean you’re still in school, I’m not even done high school yet and I’m working.. We’re not together, we don’t have a plan. Nothing. You don’t honestly think we can raise a child together. I mean god, we can barely take care of each other.
Do not speak for me, Archibald. I am willing to step up to my responsibilities and make sacrifices for the sake of my child. Il n'importe pas. It's your decision to make. It's your choice. Do whatever you want. I'm done.Â
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
Sebastian.. I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want. It’s for the best, for the both of us. Trust me.
No, Mia. When you say sorry, don't try and make yourself feel better saying it's for the best of me too. This is all you. Don't drag me into it because I never got to have a say.Â
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
I was just asking.. I guess it’s me being curious. So uh, I made an appointment already.. with my doctor.
Good, great... magnifique. Pass the bill.Â
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
Yeah.. So how’s the meeting with your lawyers. Got anything?
Do you really care what they had to say? It's not like you're changing your mind so... why even bother telling you? I thought you'd be back in L.A. by now.
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
At least you’re not hungry all the time..
Which, in my case, is something to be worried about.
Just when you think things can't get any worse...
They do. They always do. And there's nothing I can do.
I'm back from L.A
Mia shut her eyes, leaning her weight against the counter as she listened to him. How did life get so hard? Why now? Why her? All of this was happening to soon. This wasn’t supposed to happen to her yet. She was only eighteen years old. She was still enjoying her life. She finally achieved her dreams and now she might have to give it up because of the growing child in her stomach. “But you’re not.. We’re not the same anymore, Sebastian. Things changed. We’re not even together anymore.”
“I don’t know how I can prove it, Sebastian.. I love you I do, but things have changed. We’re not the same anymore.”
He gave up. For the night, he gave up. The conversation seemed to be going nowhere. Standing up from his place on the floor, he disposed of the bloodstained paper towel, wrapping his hand in a new one. He was about to leave the kitchen, but stopped, his back towards Mia. "I regret taking that plane to Paris before New Year's every waking second of my life." He breathed. "I curse that day and I curse every day ever since."
Looking over his shoulder, he closed his eyes before opening them again, taking her in. "There is nothing and no one in this world I love quite as much as I have loved you since the moment I met you. If that baby is all I have left of who we were once, you can be sure I'll do whatever I can to keep it. Even if I know my chances are slim to none, I will go get legal advice." He said, his voice calmed. It was not a threat... it was a promise.Â
you really don’t care if you live or die?
I'm back from L.A
Mia looked at him, feeling his words cut through like knives. “Don’t do this to me, Sebastian.” She retorted, moving away from him and getting up from the floor and standing next to the edge of the kitchen counter. “I already feel like the bad person here for deciding that okay? I don’t need you to make it worst for me.” Mia shook her head once, looking down. “Don’t you think I thought about this long and hard? Do you think I’m happy about this? I’m not… but I don’t have a choice. I don’t want to be single mom, Sebastian. Even if do get help from other people, I will still be a single mom. I don’t want to be like Serena, I can’t be like my mother.”
What does her heart say? “The same thing it’s been telling me from the moment I met you.” She whispered, looking back at him. “That I love you.”
Sebastian gripped his hair as she stood. He really couldn't comprehend her right now. He couldn't understand what she was doing to him. Why had she come and dropped such a heavy, life changing news, only to make him feel like he had nothing to do with it. Like he had no say in his own child's fate. And there was nothing to back him. Even the justice system would go against him as it was her body. Her decision. "Don't, then. Don't be like Serena. I'm here... I'm here..." The last words were bu a whisper. "I'm not going anywhere."
It hurt him to hear her say she loved him. It hurt him because he loved her, even more than words could say. He loved her so much it was a constant, excruciating sharp pain in his chest because he had lost her. Because he had tried scratching off the matching tattoos they had gotten together, trying to scratch her memory away but, the tattoo nor his love for her faded. "Prove it. Make me believe in you again. In us."Â
I'm back from L.A
Mia put her legs up against her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she rested her chin on her knees. She kept her gaze on the kitchen floor, not wanting to see Sebastian’s face. It was enough that she can hear the pain in his voice. She doesn’t think she can do anything more than listen because she knew the moment she sees his face, all she will see is pain. Pain that she caused.
“I told you.. I wanted to see you and I thought you needed to know. I thought you deserved to know.” She paused for a moment, pressing her lips together as she sighed in silence. “I was trying to do the right thing, but I guess by telling you that I’m pregnant and that I didn’t want it, that I hurt you even more.” Mia took the cuff of the sweatshirt that she wore and wiped the tears away from her face. When she heard that he wanted to take care of the baby, she finally looked at him and narrowed her eyes at him. “I-I thought of that. I did.. but I read this thing online that once a mother is pregnant, they bond with the baby.. and if I keep the baby, I don’t think I could give it up. Sebastian, I’m so sorry, okay. I just—I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. My head is saying one thing and you’re just there telling me to keep the baby and that you want it.. I just don’t know if it’s best to keep the baby.”
Though she had responded to his proposal a few minutes ago, his mind was blank. He hadn't even blinked through the entire time, biting the inside of his cheek. Even breathing hurt at the moment. "Well..." He finally managed to say, looking back down to his hands, the paper towel on his fist stained with his blood. "What are you waiting for, then? If you're so decided... let's go. Let's call and get an appointment. Get it over with so you can go back to your perfect life in L.A." He couldn't contain it, his face scrunching with hurt and anger and despise and deception.Â
"What does your heart say?" Was all he could muster once his breathing calmed, his eyes searching hers.
I'm back from L.A
Mia didn’t even have time to argue when he pulled her up on her feet, keeping her away from the broken pieces of the mug and the coffee spilled on the floor. “Sebastian.. I’m fine to clean up.” She muttered under her breath. Great, now he was gonna treat her as if she’s some fragile girl. Mia back away, leaning against the kitchen counter and crossing her arms over her chest.
 The green-eyed girl looked down on the ground, hearing the water faucet turning on. She sighed, looking up to only to see Sebastian sitting down on the floor. She shuts her eyes for a moment before opening them once more and walking over to him, sitting down next to him and crossing one leg over the other. “Would it have been better if I didn’t tell you?” She asked, looking down at her lap. “I mean if I never would have came back and just did it..” And by it meaning killing their baby. God that sounds so horrible.
Sebastian wished he could go back to who he was in England, after Lucy. Sure, it hurt, but after a couple of weeks, he had already shoved down the feelings and found himself a new life, had fun, not a worry in the world. He tried, after Mia, but he had lost his game. Apparently it had came to him easily after the comma, when he had lost his memory and woke up believing it was about the time he had left Paris, not remembering any of his life after that, or New York. He couldn't remember but his sister had told him, had told him he had fooled around with Mia as if she was just another girl. He couldn't forgive himself for not remembering the love of his life and toying with her just because he had no recollection of who she was... he knew that Sebastian had drove her away. But when he woke up, being him, and she wasn't there... to see she had given up on him, had carried on, he felt abandoned. All those promises of forever washed down the drain, just as the blood coming out of his hand was doing right now, soon mixing in with the water until it dispersed so that there was no trace left of it.Â
"Out of sight, out of mind, right?" He muttered into his fists covering his face. His face was flushed, his eyes tired, his voice breathless. He probably looked like shit... at least he surely felt like it. "If you had your mind so set in a decision... if there's no way around it... I just-- I don't understand why you're here." Sebastian rested his head back against the counter, looking at the girl beside him. "If you don't want the baby..." His voice dropped. "I could keep it. I can take care of it an you can go back to L.A." His throat stung as he spoke.
I'm back from L.A
Mia took a deep breath upon hearing his comment, looking down at her own mug. She probably spent a good couple of minutes staring at the coffee in her mug, the silence between them killing her slowly but surely. Licking her lips, Mia finally decided to take a sip of her coffee. Though the moment she tasted the coffee, she suddenly felt nauseous. She had disgust plastered on her face, making her place the mug back down on the counter and pushing it to the side.
When Mia heard a glass shatter, she shot her head up, making her hop off the stool. “Are you okay?” She walked over to him, making sure to avoid the broken pieces of the mug. Mia grabbed a paper towel and began cleaning up the coffee spilled. “Do you want me to get you a band-aid for you cut there?”
"Stop, Mia. Don't." Sebastian pulled her up back on her feet as she had started cleaning, keeping his bleeding had away from her. "I'll take care of this." He just couldn't see her kneeling, cleaning after his mess. What if she got hurt... or the baby? Did it even matter? It would probably make things easier, that way they would have no one to blame. He cursed his thought, his face growing a dark shade of pink as soon as they came to his head. She had made up her mind and there was nothing he could do. He had never felt so impotent in his life before.Â
"I'm okay. Leave that." He tried again, more gently this time, shutting his eyes before he walk to the sink and ran the water, his hand under the faucet, taking the small pieces still in between the cut before pressing some paper towel to it, closing his fist to put some pressure. "I'm okay..." He repeated, somberly... though his knees gave him and he sat on the floor, his back to the counter, resting his forehead on his fists. "I'm okay."Â
I'm back from L.A
Mia took a hold of the mug in her hands, feeling the warmth against the palm of her hands. “Is it safe to drink this?” She asked, looking up at him. “N-Nevermind..” Why would that matter to her? She didn’t want to keep the baby anyways. Right? Mia shook her head, clearing her throat and playing with the mug in her hands. She shook her head at his question before speaking. “No.. I didn’t want anyone knowing. I was scared that it would go public you know. I get enough unwanted publicity as it is.”
He simply stared at her, slightly narrowing his eyes at her question. "I've never heard of coffee killing anyone, Mia." Though it could be taken wrong, there was no strength in his voice, but complete exhaustion. Nodding at her response, though his mind was still off somewhere else, his eyes followed the cup everywhere she moved it.Â
"Of course, as if it never happened..." He mumbled, his eyes still on the cup in her hands, though the grip on the cup in his hand tightened... so to the point that the handle broke, sending the ceramic mug to the floor, splashing coffee all over the floor around him, and a few droplets of blood from the palm of his hand that had been cut as it broke. "Merde..." He cursed, not really because it hurt but mostly because of the mess he had created. A mess that went further than a broken mug on the floor.Â
I'm back from L.A
After hearing his request, Mia nodded her head and kept her mouth shut. She knew it was best to stay quiet as she didn’t want to say anything more that will probably hurt him. She has hurt him enough and once she gives the baby up, she’ll be hurting him forever. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a ding, making her head snap up. Mia walked in silence and simply kept her gaze away from Sebastian’s as she entered the loft. She swiftly into the bedroom, nodding her head. “Thanks..” Mia took a last look from Sebastian before getting into the warm shower.
Mia had been in the shower for an hour now. Truth be told after she washed herself, she just stayed sitting on the floor, curled up into a ball, letting the warm water soak her. She thought she would feel better about everything but she was wrong. Knowing that her mind was actually choosing to get an abortion hurts her. Knowing that she will hurt Sebastian with her decision, hurts her. After finally getting the strength to get up, Mia got out of the shower and dried herself off. She immediately dressed herself, choosing to wear Sebastian’s sweatshirt and sweat pants instead of her own clothing. Mia let her slightly damped hair down her shoulders, not bothering with it. She walked into the kitchen and saw Sebastian’s back turned to her. Mia cleared her throat, sitting on the island stool. “Uh I hope you don’t mind I borrowed your clothes.. I feel better when I’m wearing them.” She told him in a whisper.
The sight of Mia wearing his clothes made him catch his breath, suddenly not knowing were to direct his stare and finally deciding to fix her a cup of coffee and pushing it towards her over the granite counter, clearing his throat. Leaning back against the opposite counter behind the island, he crossed his arms with a cup of his own in one hand. He had missed her. He had stalked every news article, every internet blog, every tv programming that featured her, though he always ended up regretting it. It wasn't his Mia whom he saw portrayed, anyways. It was the Mia that had stolen his Mia. "Have you- you know, have you told anyone?" He managed to ask, sighing at the end, wishing he could just drop it, but it was impossible.Â
