warnings: can be perceived as platonic, cussing, takes place after deadpool & wolverine, not proofread, sex joke
summary: logan walks in on reader and wade playing dress to impress. after they insist, logan sits down with them and leans how to play.
authors note: i was super bored so i decided to write this. it’s mostly dialogue though :(
“what the hell has kept you two so occupied for the past three hours?” logan asks, walking into the living room from the spare bedroom.
wade begins to answer, looking away from the screen in his lap and leaning over to look at the mutant, “we’ve been fuck—“
“no, we haven’t,” you slap his scarred arm, emitting a yelp from him, “we’ve been playing dress to impress.”
the look he gives you makes you think he thinks you’re stupid. he stands in the living room in front of the two of you, your attention fully on him instead of the screen in front of you.
“sounds like a princess game.” he scoffs, clearly unimpressed with the name of the game.
“actually, the game is explanatory— hey, this bitch is copying my outfit!” wade disagrees, continuing to shout expletives to the screen.
you giggle at the man next to you, who tries to move his avatar away from the copier. you try to follow the theme as closely as possible, switching back and forth through a reference photo on pinterest and roblox.
you pat the space next to you, “c’mere, lo. we’ll teach you how to play. try and follow this reference i pulled up. you can use my computer.”
“why?” he asks, trying to egg you on.
“come on, peanut. this theme isn’t that hard, just sit down, walk around, and put on clothes that match the reference. don’t forget to put on hair like y/n over there. that’ll lose you a lot of sparkly stars.” wade teases.
“that was one time, wade—“ you grumble, feeling the couch sinking next to you, and a weight taken off your lap.
“um, no it wasn’t. remember when you dressed as harley quinn with no hair? and what about that time when you did the valentine’s day theme and forgot a face?” he shot back, eyes wide.
“okay, we’ll do you remember you got last place five times in a row? and you misread a theme so you did it completely wrong?”
minutes go by and the two of you continue to argue about mistakes you’ve made in the game. throughout the whole conversation, wade forgets to add items to his avatar, and logan’s figuring out how the game works. he stays silent, but you can hear the tapping of the touchpad on your left.
wade looks away from you to scream, “what the shit?! why did that person win? they didn’t even follow the fucking theme!”
he turns his screen in your direction and you lean over to grimace, “ew.”
you turn and place a hand on logan’s back, looking at his screen to see a new rank, “that means you won, lo! good job!” you praise, rubbing his back.
he stares at the screen, seemingly not understanding why he won, wade interjects, “you won, honey badger. i deserved your place, but good job.”
logan glares at him before swiftly swinging his arm out and unleashing his claws, placing them close to wade’s laptop. he shakes his head and directs the claws away from him.
“wanna do the next theme?” you look up at logan, not entirely expecting an answer from him.
he shakes his head and stands up, placing the laptop on your thighs. he walks to the fridge and grabs a bottle of beer, knowing he’d be asked the same question every round. he sits down and places an arm around your shoulder, deciding to get comfortable because you and wade might be playing the game for hours.
doggy, missionary, spooning, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, lotus, upside down, inside out, one leg up, two legs up, in public, on a spaceship, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, in the theater, in the jungle, in the hunger games, on a kitchen counter. no lube, no protection, all day, all night, from the back, from the front, upside down, sideways, in a chair, standing up, from the bed to the carpeted floor, from the kitchen floor to toilet seat, from the dining table to the laundry room.
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