Rants, Thoughts, Emotions

[secondhearts]

I deserve more in life... right?

[secondhearts]

Nights like this makes me miss us... even when I know I shouldn't.

[secondhearts]

Another year

Time seriously moves like the speed of light. Before I knew it, another year has passed. As I lay here in bed, just trying to fall asleep. I just can’t help but think about my life and all these years that have flown by. A lot of times I wish I could go back in time, re-live my younger years. Enjoy the time more than I did. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a fantastic life. But there are always moments in life you wish could re-do. Or even moments in life you wish you could experience all over again, not wanting to change a single thing about it. I’ve realized the older I get, the more I reminisce about the past.

[secondhearts]

Memories

I miss what we had...

[secondhearts]

Remind

Reminding myself to ignore the distractions in life and to continue to push myself to grow everyday.

[secondhearts]

Memories

Days like this is when all the good memories flood in.

Days like this is when I can’t stop thinking of all the memories we’ve shared.

Days like this is when it’s the hardest.

[secondhearts]

Emotions

I thought I was perfectly fine. But truthfully I’m an emotional wreck.

[nihaocat]

Thank you

Thank you for everything.

Thank you for giving me your all.

Thank you for treating me like a princess.

Thank you for putting up with my moods.

Thank you trusting me with your heart.

Thank you for giving me happiness.

Thank you for everything.

[secondhearts]

Goodbye 2015, hello 2016

I felt like this year past by so quick. I still feel like 2015 just started and now it’s coming to an end. In a few sentences to sum up 2015, I’ll have to say it was a great year and I’m blessed to have the life I am living while being surrounded by people that I love. This year was definitely stressful but nothing I couldn’t handle. I’m excited to start 2016 because big things will happen this coming year. First off I’m starting the new year strong with a trip to Disney World! Then heading straight into, what I’ve been told, the worst semester of my college life. But, at the same time I’m super excited to learn new things. Then in the summer I’ll hopefully have a PCT job. Then I’ll head into the last semester of my college life and graduate in December. That pretty much sums up 2016 already. In 2017, I’ll start a new chapter of my life and hopefully will be working a job that I love.

[secondhearts]

Getting back to it

I have let myself go for so many years. I’ve gained weight, stopped caring how I look when I go out, I haven’t put on makeup in months, I don’t do my hair anymore. And I think (hope) I’m at that point in my life where I’m going to get my shit together. I need to, I mean I’m 21 I’m supposed to be dressing how I want and looking the best I’ll ever look. I think to myself I’ll eventually do something but I’ve come to realize if I don’t start now by the time I’m 25 or 26 I’m going to be telling myself the same thing. And by that time I won’t have the opportunity to be wearing the same stylish clothes I wanted to when I was 21. I think it’s finally time.

[secondhearts]

Drama

I keep telling myself to stop watching Asian dramas because when I watch them I get a little depressed and envious. I know nobody's life is like that but still... But no worries I'm living a fairytale of my own.

[secondhearts]

Jealousy or Envy

When I talk about someone, maybe about how they look, or what is going on with their life, or even just things that they post on social media. I always wonder if I'm coming off as if I'm jealous. I honestly don't know if I am jealous or if I envy that person. But those terms are pretty much the same thing right? I hope I don't come off as jealous because I don't see the point of being jealous of someone. In the end if you work hard enough you can have the same thing they have. Unless is height... nothing anyone can do about that.. 

[secondhearts]

Now

Doesn’t matter what was said. It’s all in the past and we just have to focus on what is happening now. It’s all just “what if”, all that matters is I love you and I am so glad we have each other. You make me extremely happy.

[secondhearts]

Thoughts

So it’s kinda been on my mind since it was said. How if you weren’t influenced then you wouldn’t have broken up when you did… Honestly if that were the case I don’t think we would be where we are right now.

[secondhearts]

Compliments

It's not that I don't take your compliments. I love it when you call me beautiful even when I'm wearing sweats and a shirt. It was because he was a complete stranger and the fact he wasn't trying to hit on me. He just wanted to tell me. And I thought that was very sweet. DON'T RUIN MY MOMENT. :3

[secondhearts]

Sleepless

These past few days maybe it's even been a week. I just can't seem to fall asleep. It's 2 am and I'm wide awake. Maybe for most college students it's normal to be awake late in the night. But usually I start to feel tired around this time. But lately I have been sleeping around 4. It's like my body doesn't want me to sleep. Late nights make you think of anything and everything. I just want to sleep.... Sigh

[secondhearts]

Clothes

I love sleeping in your shirts. They smell like you and it's the closest thing I get because I don't get to sleep next to you.