Green.Bandit @secretbystash - Tumblr Blog

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Veronica Webb at Cynthia Rowley, 1990s

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Weekend Self-care

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Half of these people feel deprived of true romance because they believe it means to stick your hand in a fire or have someone do it for you lol. On some pitiful masochistic shit. True romance involves unwavering RESPECT and DEVOTION. Unpredictability is not erotic or stimulating. Respect and predictability and simplicity isn’t boring when you actually like yourself.

syxsade

sk-lumen

The secret to create healthy habits.

Motivation > discipline > consistency > habits. That's the process from start to finish, for changing your life around with healthy choices.

Motivation is only the launchpad to start with, after that you can't rely on it because it comes and goes on a whim! A lot of people make the mistake on relying on it all throughout, and then wonder why they can't stay on track while other people do.

What you need next is discipline: when you commit to something and stick to it even when it's hard, even when you don't feel like it, because that's how you fill the gaps inbetween to create a routine.

And you create a routine by staying consistent. Today, tomorrow, again and again.

When you stay consistent over months, over half a year, it becomes a habit, and when something becomes a habit, it's effortless to keep going because that is now your default setting. It becomes your new normal, the choice that comes easiest to make because you don't even have to make it or think it; you just lean back into it.

Going to the gym regularly becomes like having a meal; if you don't do it, you'll feel restless and off, genuinely craving the movement and the boost of endorphins. When you eat healthy regularly, you feel it right away if you get off track and indulge in too many treats: you'll feel it in your body, in your mental clarity, in your emotional wellbeing and it's so much easier getting back on track because healthy is your new default.

glowdiamond

how to get spoiled, and activate the gentleman inside every man

1. create a persona

i don’t care if you had no father figure, lived on government support and collected coupons with your mama

the moment you step out the house it’s time to put on the biggest act of your life

you have to make it look like princess treatment is all you’ve ever received in your life

you have to make it sound like every other person that came before him spoiled you rotten and you’ve gotten used to that lifestyle

2. don’t ask, assume !

instead of asking if he’s picking you up with his car for a date

say “when should i be ready for when the car comes”

instead of asking him to open doors for you

say “ i just know from talking to you that you’re the type to open doors and be a gentleman”

when you hold a man in high regards and expect him to be a certain way, he’ll want to rise to that expectation, no one wants to prove you wrong and that you’ve giving them a higher value than they are

3. thank them for things they haven’t done yet

when you meet for dinner or when the check comes, smile and thank him for “treating you” to dinner or”inviting you” to dinner, this will remind him that this was his idea, he’s the one doing the pursuing and he shouldn’t be making you pay for something that’s supposed to be a treat

similar to the point above, when you express gratitude for something that hasn’t happened yet, it just makes them look cheap/ an assh*le if they don’t do it

4. set up the scene for future providing

when watching movies for example, if the couple in the movie goes on a luxury vacation say “what if that was us”, “it would be so cute if we did that”, in the street if you’re out and about people watching and you see a cute older couple with flowers, point it out and say how cute it his that he still brings her flowers, complimenting and pointing out treatment that you want to receive let’s the man know what your love language is and what he can expect to be praised for in the future by you

finally, this advice works on men who already like you and want to impress you, it helps you set the tone of the relationship, there is no amount of “tricks” that will get someone who is uninterested in you to provide for you!