secret life

This is my hidden world! I follow the tag #secretflog so leave a poem for me to read!

[secretlifeflog]

My world

Im laying in bed thinking about you

all i can think about is how much i want you here

there are words i never tell you for

because i  fear that they might come true one day.

you are my light

you are my world

i have never loved someone as much as i love you

i need you in my  life forever

will you be my forever

so that i can be yours?

[secretlifeflog]

love or family

i feel like i am stuck between two worlds

i feel like i am being torn in half

my heart wants both

i don’t know how to make that work 

i don’t know where i really belong

there both apart of my world

i feel like i need both of them 

because they both need me

but where to begin 

because Im ready to start my life

[secretlifeflog]

not just mental this time

being sick is killing me

it keeps making me have all these feelings

its bringing back all those bad thoughts

its making me not me

i want to be healthy again

i want to be me again 

i want all the thoughts to be gone

i need peace

so i am going to do somethings i hate doing

i am going to bring my self to admit it

being sick is not something i can do anymore

so i am going to take my meds no complaints

[secretlifeflog]

I am getting those feelings agian where I fell like everything is going wrong like nothing I do is right,

I'm going back to that dark place, a place I was hoping I was done with,

My mind won't leave me alone, it keeps showing me all the bad things that have happened or could happen

Darkness surrounds me, and I'm starting to drown in it.

I'm hoping a new day will bring light around,

Hoping a good night sleep will help as well!

[secretlifeflog]

being there

your words bring me closer to you

but my actions keep pushing you away, 

you say something 

but i think the opposite   

i constantly push you way 

but you keep me at your side. 

you show me what true love is

you show me how to really live

i never thought that i could love someone the way i love you

but you have opened my eyes to what true love is

i never want to lose you 

i never want to go a day without you

i never want to see a world with out you

i never want a loveless life 

you are my world now

and i know i am your

that’s why i want to tell you

i will love you forever.

[secretlifeflog]

forever yours!

I fell for you fast. 

there was nothing to stop me. 

i left my heart open to you from the beginning

i knew what i was looking for.

when you showed up something told me you were the one. 

i left myself open to you completely

but i left it a secret 

i didn't want you to know 

then you fell hard and fast for me

and i felt safe

Then you asked me out,

and my heart was pounding out of my chest

when you asked

all i could think was yes

but there was a part of me that wanted to say no.

i went with my heart and i said yes. 

i have never been so happy 

i have never been so petrified

you really are the best thing to happen to me

you have showed me the best of life.

i know i have only known you a short while

i know i don’t want a life with out you 

i know i want to be with you forever

i know i need you by my side

i know i want all your love

i know that i am in love with you!

[secretlifeflog]

messed up

i messed up i feel for you.

and now your gone

i told you that we could never be a thing

and now all i want are your words to confort me

but all i get now is silence

i wish there was a way for me to tell if it you i “feel”

i wish there was a way for me to tell you everthing that is going on with out words

for right now thought i just have to live with the silence 

and hope that your thining about me too.

[secretlifeflog]

Standing my ground

I used to hide because of you, I used to cower in the corner I used to not want to leave the house I used to not to want to love I used to hide from everyone around me I used to not want to move now I'm done hiding Now I'm done being bullied! I want everyone to see what I'm capable of I want everyone to know depression is not defeating me,I am defeating depression! I will fight to the death I will win even if I die trying.

[secretlifeflog]

How do I feel about you?

I have so many words I want to say to you, But I can't say any of it. I have so many thing I want to do to you, But none of it is going to happen, I have so many feelings running through me, But I don't think any of them are true! I have so many thoughts That it's hard to keep them straight!

[secretlifeflog]

Thinking Him

He broke me, He cut me right in two,

Now a part loves him, And a part hates him.

I need a break, A break from all these thoughts

My thoughts have thoughts, and I can’t keep them straight

I can’t concentrate on what is important, Because all I think about is him.

[secretlifeflog]

I know

You let me love a side of you but not the whole you, You wanted me all for yourself but never the other way around

Your world is so huge,And my world is so small I just get lost in the though of it all.

Having known you would have been the greatest, Had it not have been for the fall

I said I love you But all you said was I know!

[secretlifeflog]

Your words

Your words cut me deep, Deeper then they should have,

You thought I would leave, Over something so stupid.

You wanted to push me away, You didn’t want to feel

So now I’m gone Not going to come back.

And I hope you are happy, Because I’m completely miserable.

I thought you were going to be a friend for life, Now your a hole in my life.

[secretlifeflog]

Stand still

I put my life at a stand still, I paused it. All because you said All because of your words I let you effect me, I let you have some control. Now that my life is on pause, It feels like everyone is going in fast forward. I have no control any more, I have no way of getting my life back. I'm just floating With no direction. So take your words back And give me my life back!

[secretlifeflog]

The feeling box

I put my feelings back in there box, Then you told me about your own. Now I'm second guessing everything, Now I'm trying to understand. I feel like I need an escape, I feel more lost then before. My feeling were in there box, Now there piping out at the seams, All because you told me, About your feelings.

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[secretlifeflog]

Lost friend ship.

I was reminded again today that people are fleeting, and that they don't stay in your life forever. I feel so broken that I don't even know where to begin fixing myself! I feel like breaking down and crying but then I think it's stupid. To cry over a lost friend ship when they constantly come and go, But I had hoped this one was different, I had hoped that we would be friends forever. Now I may be over reacting. But it truly feels like a peace of me has died!

[secretlifeflog]

Hard times!

Having a hard time breathing right now, It feels like the whole world is crashing down, I need an escape from my life I need a break from the world I need a helping hand I need the path to be clear!