You Make Me Want To Be A Man [Andersxf!Hawke] UNFINISHED NSFW NC-17!!
This is one I really wish I had finished because I had quite a few people on the DA kink meme interested in it. XD; Sorry.
They lay sprawled, bonelessly tossed across eachother, limbs entwined to the point that neither knew where one began and the other ended. It was perfection incarnate. To say that she never wanted to move again would be the understatement of the year.
Hawke hummed in approval at the feel of her lover sprawled across her chest. Something warm and nearly instinctual welled within her. Perhaps it was the way his cheeks were flushed and his dirty blonde hair was tossed about all haphazard-like that made her want him all over again. Even though they had just finished. Twice. But thirds were always welcome.
So she said it. Even if it was awkward.
"Sometimes, you make me wish that I was a man," she said as her fingers stroked his tangled mess of hair.
He situated his head so that he could better look at her, "...What?'
"It's hard to explain..." she began.
"Try me," he said as he closed his eyes and continued to relax like before.
At least he wasn't horrified by her admission.
Her hand smoothed the hair from his face so she could better appreciate the slope of his nose and the curve of his brows above his closed lids. "Mm. There's just something about you. I know you probably won't enjoy hearing this, but there's something almost... fragile about you. Delicate. It makes me want to protect you. To make love to you rather than you make love to me." She kissed his forehead ever so gently to prove her point.
"Love, just so you know, one usually doesn't say such things to one's boyfriend," he laughed as he said it. "Fortunately for you, I'm not the usual type." His eyes peeked open again, full of mischief. It had been a long time since she had gotten such a look from the mage. "...You know, there are ways around that. So that you could make love to me..."
Hawke definitely perked up at that, surprised by how much she wanted to make this happen. "Really?"
Anders burst into laughter at her eagerness. "You really want this, don't you?"
Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Is it bad that I'm extremely turned on by the idea?"
He leaned forward to capture her lips in a slow, lazy kiss. It filled her to the brim with want. The mage shifted over her so he could pin her to the mattress.
She gasped for breath when they parted. "Apparently you are too."
The two's laughter was muffled by frantic kisses as Anders thrust himself into her. Thirds were definitely welcomed.
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The Most Magnificent Idea of all Time had remained in the back of Hawke's head for nearly a full week before she got the balls to bring it up again.
The two had spent that day running errands for Sol in hopes of talking him into getting them a few new potion recipes. It had worked out well, but all that walking around in the blistering sun had exhausted her. And if she was exhausted, she knew that Anders was absolutely miserable. Poor thing had barely gone around Kirkwall with her thanks to all of the extra time he now invested in the clinic. Therefore he was a bit out of shape. And tired. It worried her something awful.
But what worried her the most was that he insisted to go right back to the clinic after they were done the day. The sun had already gone down and it was nearing supper time, so she was surprised that he had wanted to go back to work without a minute's rest in between.
"No rest for the wicked," he had said jokingly in reply to her concerns.
It hadn't seemed like much of a joke to her.
But she was good. Rather than stomp off to Darktown so she could spy on him and make sure he was taking care of himself, she stayed at the estate and caught up on her correspondence instead. Maker knew she needed to. What was it with all of these people demanding the Champion to fix everything for them? Yes, she defeated the Arishok in a duel, but that did not mean that she would intuit the location of one's collector's plate.
Supper time was long gone and the streets of Hightown were now eerily quiet.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, Anders floated about lazily, reminding her that she still had something to stress over. She kept glancing out her window, noticing how many lights had been extinguished in her neighbors' homes. When the last light went out, her resolve snapped. Hawke jumped up from her desk and marched toward her bedroom door, fully prepared to run down to Darktown and pester her lover. But just as she opened the door, there he was. In all of his raggedy glory.
"Sorry it took so long. Had to go pick something up before I headed home," he said as he immediately curled his arms around her.
All of the stress and worry flew out the window whenever he embraced her like that. All she could do was succumb and let the little speech she had planned effortlessly wash away in the tides of comfort.
"Stop working yourself so damn hard," she muttered into a feathered pauldron. "Or if you do, invite me to help like I used to."
Anders pulled back from her and looked her in the eye rather sternly. "You do enough as is. I always ask you if I really need the help, but I'd rather keep you away from the clinic for now. It's not safe."
"I'm not the blighted apostate here! You're so over-protective," she said grumpily as she headbutted his pauldron lightly a few times. Take that, stupid feathers.
"What are you doing?" he laughed as he put her at arm's length.
"Taking out my anger on the dead animal on your shoulder," she stated in a matter-of-fact tone as she tried to get close enough to headbutt it again, but Anders kept her back. Curses!
"Because damaging your brain is always the best way to get back at me," he said snarkily.
"Oh, you'd be surprised," Hawke said.
She gave up on trying to assault his pauldrons and decided to go back to cuddling him instead, a disgruntled pout on her face.
That was when she noticed all the muck on his coat. She pulled away from him so she could look him over. He had dark circles under his eyes and smudges of ink on his hands and, cutely enough, just under his nose. Questionable stains littered the bottom half of the tunic underneath the coat.
"Do you want a bath?" she asked as she leaned forward to kiss over the smudge under his nose.
He arched a brow. "Are you trying to tell me something?" He sniffed at himself, his eyes narrow in suspicion.
"Stop that! You actually don't smell too bad," she said, but then realized how horrible that sound. "Oh balls. I promise that was supposed to be a compliment. You know... working in a clinic with people that are probably bleeding or throwing up. Usually that means that weird smells would follow you home."
"I knew what you meant." Anders just laughed at her and hugged her tightly to him. Warmth spread through her chest and trickled down, making her feel safe and loved. Even if he was teasing her, he still made her go all mushy. "A bath would actually be quite welcome."
"I figured it would help you relax since you worked so hard," she muttered into his shoulder. "I'll go ask Orana to draw us one."
"Oh," he purred the word at her. "You're going to join me then?"
"Of course. What sort of lover would I be if I didn't wash your back?" she kissed him chastely before she ran off to get Orana.
Orana was as gungho and grateful as usual. The dainty elvhen redhead ran off to start the bath with a smile on her face.
When Hawke got back to the room, she spotted Anders changing. So instead of running into the room and disrupting him, she merely leaned against the door jamb. The mage shrugged both of his top layers of robes off so that he was left in his gray under tunic, pants and boots. When they first began their relationship, he had been broader in the chest and had thicker thighs. But as time went on, he thinned out more and more. Regardless of how much she attempted to feed him. Now he was more lean. The circles under his eyes were much darker as well, but he still stirred something animalistic within her that made her want to pounce him and ravage him immediately.
He pulled the hair tie out of his hair, letting the sandy blonde strands fall in his eyes. Hawke moaned, unable to stop herself. She loved when he let his hair down, both literally and figuratively.
Anders turned around, a brow arched as he looked at her. "Were you watching me undress? I feel so... dirty." He mock shivered.
Hawke just laughed as she moved over to him. Her hands slid up and underneath his tunic to skate along the ticklish spots on his ribs. He flinched away from her, a strangled laugh escaping him. Yup. She could definitely feel his ribs poking out unhealthily. Anxiety flooded her at the thought of him forgetting to eat.
"I love you," she whispered into his jaw before she pulled back so she could look into the warm amber depths of his eyes.
She could see how much he loved her. His eyes said it all. They softened as he smiled, "I love you too. Perhaps even too much."
There was a knock behind her.
"Messeres, the bath is ready," Orana said before she gave a little bow and walked off before Hawke even had the chance to thank her.
Her fingers entwined with Anders' as she pulled him toward the direction of the bathroom. "Come relax, love."
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A deeply relaxed moan came from Anders as she washed his hair for him, her nimble fingers massaging the sweet-smelling soap into his hair and scalp. It was one of his weaknesses. Anders loved it when she played with his hair. Usually he'd end up in her lap, an enraptured look on his face as he purred. It was adorable. He was a big cat himself, even if he didn't realize it.
"Ohh, Hawke. Have I told you that I love you, lately?" he moaned as he laid with his back against her. "I need to say it many times over, so that you know the depth of my love and adoration for you and your magical fingers. Are you sure you're not a mage?"
Hawke just giggled at him as she shielded his eyes and poured water over his soapy hair. "You're so happy that you're rambling. I love when you get like this."
Anders just laughed, though she could hear the hint of sadness in it. "Then you would've been smitten with me before... well, before Justice happened."
"Anders... I'm smitten with you now, love," she said as she curled her arms around him, her chin resting on his broad shoulder. "You sounded like a selfish ass before, in all honesty," she joked as she poked him in the side.
He seemed to relax at her words. As if she quelled some great insecurity that he held bottled up inside. "How did I get so lucky?"
She kissed the hollow under his ear. "It's simple. We were meant to find each other. We always will. No matter what. You're the only one I want."
Before she could react, Anders managed to turn in her arms and pressed her up against the side of the tub. He kissed her hard, feverishly, as he pulled her hips into his. Water splashed out of the tub as he ground his rapidly hardening cock against her nether regions.
"If you keep saying things like that, you're going to ruin my plans for the evening," he whispered huskily into her lips.
She just smiled coyly before his mouth assaulted hers again. Though it was obvious by the flush on her skin that she was just as wound up as he was now. "I was only speaking the truth. Now tell me about those plans..." she ran her tongue over his bottom lip before she gently sucked it into her mouth.
"'s hard to talk when you do that..." he laughed as she let his lip go. "I'm sure you remember a little conversation we had about a week ago. You very innocently mentioned something about wanting to be a man."
Hawke's face went bright red at his words. She instantly knew what that meant then and if they weren't already in a giant tub of water, she would've been completely and utterly soaked. She cleared her throat as she tried to act all casual. "Perhaps..."
A deep, playful laugh rumbled in his throat. "Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about. I can tell by the color of your face."
"So... that's your plan for tonight, hmm?" she asked shyly, her hand sneaking up to play with the slick hair atop his head.
Anders slid his cock along her folds, making her moan. "Yes. If I can muster the strength to resist you now."
"Hmm," she began, her hips thrusting toward his as her voice wobbled from the pleasure. "Decisions, decisions."
She leaned forward to kiss him, her tongue sliding against the seam of his lips, begging for access. Anders parted his lips, his tongue seeking hers immediately. The two reveled in the slow, teasing contact of skin against skin as their mouths claimed each other.
With a rather tortured gasp, Hawke broke away from her lover's mouth.
"Anders..." she moaned. Her entire body hummed with approval at the feel of him against her. The water made the pumping of his hips against hers seamless, fluid. The friction was perfect.
Honestly, if they kept this up, she wouldn't be able to stop either. She could never resist him nor he her.
Anders nipped at the crook of her neck as he pressed her harder against the side of the tub. She could feel his cock throbbing in time with her swollen folds.
"Wait," she pleaded in a desperate tone as he sunk his teeth into the side of her neck. "Anders..." his tongue soothed the bite before he began to suck over it. Pleasure shot through her and her hands gripped onto his shoulders for dear life. "If you... Ohh... Anders! Maker. If you keep hitting all my damn spots, I'm not going to be able to stop!" She managed to get all of the jumbled words out in a breathy laugh, but the way he was slowly rocking himself against her wasn't helping her self control.
For being such a normally assertive, dominant woman she sure was submissive with him. If any of the group had known she was like this, they would've been completely shocked. It irked her at first because she was unused to letting someone else have the control, but if it was him... She could fully open up and enjoy herself as a woman. Which she tended to forget that she was, what with all of her Champion duties. It wasn't just in bed either. The mage brought the best out of her in general.
Anders pulled back from her neck, his lips deliciously flushed and his pupils dwarfing the amber that was usually so prominent. Hawke bit onto her lip to keep herself from doing something reckless. Her eyes clamped shut. She growled impatiently as she put some space between them by putting her hands on his chest, but then she was tempted to play with his chest hair and that was not good because that got Anders going. She was living dangerously merely resting her palms on the man's chest, in all honesty.
There was a muffled laugh in front of her. She peeked open one eye and pouted when she realized that he was laughing at <i>her</i>, the asshole!
He kissed her forehead as he exhaled shakily, shifting back so that he was sitting at the other end of the tub like a <i>somewhat</i> good boyfriend, his legs entwined with hers. Much better.
"You're mean," she stated, but there was no malice in her voice whatsoever.
"You love it," he smirked, that predatory look still in his eyes.
A shiver raced up her spine, "Therein lies the problem."
Anders chuckled as he rested his head back on the edge of tub and exhaled loudly. "If we stay in any longer, I'm going to be confused with the Grand Cleric. All shriveled and prune-like."
"Anders! You're horrible," Hawke cackled. "I love you."
He grinned at her before he pushed himself up out of the tub and helped her up. "Of course you do. Come on."
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The moment they got back in the room, Hawke pounced him. Literally. She pinned him down to the mattress, her hands loosely gripping onto his wrists as she straddled him. Their towels had managed to fall off and water was still dripping all over the place, but that was the last thing that was on her mind.
And that infuriating bastard had the gall to just smirk back up at her like she was doing exactly what he wanted her to! She gave a frustrated growl before she bit and kissed at the line of his jaw.
Rather than kiss and grope her aggressively like he usually would when they were particularly passionate, Anders laid back with his hands lazily stroking at her hips. Pliant, receptive; those were the words to use to describe him in that moment. It was a beautiful change of pace that made her feel strong, possessive.
Her teeth nibbled at his bottom lip as she slid herself down his body. Reluctantly, she released his wrists and opted to slide her hands in between their bodies and cup his painfully hard cock. She stroked him gently, teasing him on purpose. His eyes fluttered shut, dark eyelashes resting against his cheeks as he arched toward her touch, silently pleading for more.
Hawke merely grinned as she shifted so that she was in between his bent legs. She knew what she wanted to do, but was feeling rather nervous about taking that step. Anders had been alright with her pleasuring him anally with her hands, but it was never very intense due to her being shy. It was usually just a teasing slide of her finger just as he was about to explode. But she wanted to do more and that made her pretty nervous about taking that step.
She peeked up at Anders, an embarrassed look on her face. It was like he knew what she was thinking! He smiled reassuringly at her as he shifted so it was easier to reach his rear. Her finger circled around the puckered ring as her other hand continued to stroke him. Her lover immediately moaned at the teasingly light touch, but he remained relaxed throughout the process. Much more relaxed than she was, that was for sure.
"Wait," he breathed out as his hand stretched toward hers and hovered for a moment.
The heavy, almost electric feel of his magic enveloped her hand. A thick, slippery substance began to coat her fingers. A grease spell. Smart thinking! She pointed a slick finger at him and acted like she was shooting him with a crossbow. "Always five steps ahead of me," she grinned playfully.
He chuckled a bit, but it was obvious by the flush on his chest and face that he was much more interested in where her fingers were about to go rather than what she was saying. She couldn't blame him. Maybe he had been thinking and fantasizing about this moment as much as she had.
Her finger slid into him as she leaned over to take his beautiful cock into her mouth at the same time.
Anders groaned her name, her real name, harshly as his hips jerked toward her mouth and down toward her finger. She slid it into the second knuckle, her tongue playing with the head of his cock. Those beautiful noises he made in the throes of passion were music to her ears. It only seemed to fuel her more. She found that little bud inside of him and stroked at it.
"Ohhh fuck, you remembered," Anders growled out as his hips jerked toward her with more force than last time.
Of course she remembered. She made him tell her in great detail what they were supposed to do when it happened. Then she ran over it in her head about a million times -- especially when he was working late and she had some, ahem, free time. This wasn't her shyly fumbling about like she did in the beginning. She wanted this to be perfect for him.
His cock slid from her lips as she pumped her finger in his tight rear. Every time it slid in, she would barely graze that little button inside of him, causing his hips to shoot up toward her. It was fascinating and absolutely delicious.
"This is even better than I imagined," she whispered against the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.
Anders only managed to grunt at her through gritted teeth as his hips rocked into her hand. It was great seeing him at a loss for words for once.
She added a second finger so she could stretch him at the same time that she took him back in her mouth again. Anders groaned harshly, his hands fisted into the damp bedsheets underneath him. Slick fingers pumped faster into him as her tongue lavved and stroked at his hard member, making him writhe with pleasure.
Her own juices coated her inner thighs now, mixing with the drying water from the bath. She always got off on pleasing him, but seeing how easy it was to make him come undone this way... she felt just as desperate as he looked.
"Love--," Anders began. The word barely got out around his noises of pleasure. Her hum of approval caused his hips to shoot straight toward her. "J-Josephine! Please, love." His hair had come loose from its ponytail and his cheeks were flushed as he looked at her with pleading eyes.
Hawke let go of his manhood and smiled at him. "Almost..."
Having him begging was something she didn't know would turn her on so much. She slid a third and final finger into him. It was a tight fit, but Anders didn't seem to mind. A satisfied moan slipped from his lips as his head fell back. The purpling head of his now painfully hard cock bobbed as his hips rolled toward her hand.
After pumping into him a few more times, she pulled her fingers out. The mage moaned at the loss.
Hawke bit her lip as she crawled on top of him. The slick warmth of her sex fit against his groin as she leaned forward to claim his mouth. Anders' hand fisted in her hair as his hips frantically ground against her own. It was obvious how worked up he was and that only seemed to fuel her hunger for him. If they kept with this glorious friction, she could very easily reach her release thanks to how turned on she was, but she wanted to finish this the right way.
With one last kiss, Hawke pulled away from her lover. Anders' eyes were so dilated that she could barely see any of the amber she so loved.
"Hold on a moment, love," he kissed her freckled shoulder.
Curious, she laid back on the bed and watched as he dug through his belongings that he brought with him when he got home earlier. Anders pulled a mahogony box out of his haphazard pile of things. That was one thing she wished he kept up on. He had a habit of just throwing his things about the room. Now, Hawke wasn't OCD about her room being clean, but her chaos was nicely organized. Anders' chaos? It was just 'piles of crap all over the bedroom floor' chaos. But she loved him for it.
"What?" he asked with a grin as he set the box in front of her.
"Admiring all of your stuff all over my previously clean floor," she grinned back.
His eyebrows knit together at that. "If I remember correctly... your room looked just about the same when I first moved in." His hands smoothed over her hip as he laid back on the bed beside her. "Possibly a bit worse, honestly."
"It did not!" she smacked at him playfully. "I can't believe you're trying to blame this on me. You--no. I'm not going to get into this. Give me the box." She scrambled for it, but he held it just out of arm's length. "Anders!" she said, both amused and exasperated.
Fortunately for him, he handed her the box.
The latch popped open and she lifted the top off. The appendage was actually quite pretty, if she was being honest. It was carved from wood and very smooth. She picked it up and waved it at him as she giggled like an eight year old.
"Look at you! You're absolutely tickled," Anders laughed at her.
Hawke just nodded at him. She looked at the rest of the stuff in the box. There was some sort of harness thing with straps and a hole in it. It was very confusing.
"Here," the mage took the box from her. "I'll show you how it works."