Familove @seetaj315 - Tumblr Blog

How will Success feel?30 Day relationship Challenge

Steven Covey, the author of the book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” lists one of the habits as, “Begin with the end in mind”. Effective people generally “Develop an outcome-oriented mindset in every activity they engage in”.

What would success in this exercise feel like? Wright and Rain determined that Success would be defined as each of them making significant strides/improvement on their individual challenge.

This would manifest itself in forms of deeper communication, less extraneous stress and create a model to assist them in other phases of their relationship.

The pendulum of the exercise was wide, tough in the beginning, enlightening and surrendering during and hopefully, it would be a fortified emotional area at the conclusion of the exercise.

The exercise was creating the desired effect in their lives,the depth of daily communication had increased. They realized that strides they were both making in their respective areas, “less recovery time/pouting” (Wright)and being “less judgmental” (Rain) were immense but the advances they were making had yet to be tested in a serious family situation.

Loraine and Wainwright had started their 30 day relationship building challenge in late August. “Tell me the ONE thing that you want me to work on for the next 30 days that will help improve and deepen our relationship”.

#30daychallenge #familove #modernlove #rela

#30dayrelationshipchallenge

Owning the 30 day Challenge. Day 6-9.

Would they “mess up” a good thing”? was one of the questions Wright and Rain pondered. They had completed the first third of their relationship improvement challenge exercise AND individually they had already experienced significant personal wins. The wins coupled with concrete actions on their individual parts, answered the question.

As they sat in the garden having lunch, the conversation moved to what were the benefits, as they saw it so far into the exercise- “ I am find myself listening more”, Rain explained. Wright’s view was, “ I am understanding that my emotional shutdowns in part are due to Me being judgemental in some of our episodes”, weirdly, the same area that he hoped to impact with his wife.

Thus Self Awareness became one of the early Concrete examples of the exercise. Another Concrete milestone they discussed, and agreed on, as they munched on the Boudin Noir and Boudin Blanc was, a 30 minute window they would have to mentally readjust when they had a disagreement or adverse conversation. At the end of that period they both would have to re-engage with each other.

Another question for the couple was “How would they know if the exercise was working”? There was an acknowledgement that they could improve their relationship by addressing important aspects by focusing on, and working together on, a singular issue at a time. This approach would, in essence create the road map to improving many other foundational aspects of their couple. Wright and Rain were already experiencing the benefits of surrender and openness- including HAPPY beginnings.

Wright’s “ONE THING” for Rain, be “less judgmental” in conversations and relevant perspective. Rain’s “ONE THING” for Wright was very direct, “less recovery time/pouting” in adverse situations.Their love and their want to continue developing their relationship was the basis for creating this 30 day relationship improvement challenge.

#30daychallenge #familove #modernlove #rela

#30dayrelachallenge familove modernlove

30 DAY CHALLENGE. WHAT IF?

“What if”? What if GOOD relationships are NOT living organisms and DO NOT need nurturing and attention? That perspective would undermine the entire premise in which Loraine and Wainwright had started the 30 day relationship building challenge. “Tell me the ONE thing that you want me to work on for the next 30 days that will help improve and deepen our relationship”.

Wright and Rain after initial trepidation, started the daily challenge of addressing the individual issues designed to make their couple stronger. Wright’s “ONE THING” for Rain, be “less judgmental” in conversations and relevant perspective. Rain’s “ONE THING” for Wright was very direct, “less recovery time/pouting” in adverse situations

The concept in its daily execution, surfaced questions such as.....

How would they know if it was working?

Was this a way to try and change each other?

Would they “mess up” a good thing?

How would their efforts be demonstrated in a Concrete fashion?

Was there sufficient commitment?

Wainwright and Loraine were generally a happy couple, like many “relative newlyweds” there were “ups and downs” however they both understood , they had a good thing TOGETHER. Their love and their want to continue developing their relationship was the basis for creating this 30 day relationship improvement challenge.

There was nothing stale about their relationship but as they had observed and experienced with their 4 year old- children grow, times change, people evolve. Relationships are not exempt from theses universal forces.

.Next up day 6.

#30daychallenge #familove #modernlove #rela

30 Day challenge : Day 4

Rain, shorthand for her given name Loraine, was raised in large part by her Grandmother. By objective standards, she was smart, pretty and had traveled extensively.

When she told a story, she would captivate an audience with wit and expressiveness-she had a way of “pulling” people from any part of the world or any background into her orbit. She was a sexy and spoke English/French fluently.

Wright, short for Wainwright, her husband,was also raised by his grandmother, it was one of the many SIMILARITIES they considered good “ signs” when they first met. They both loved their grandmothers, her house number was 217, he was born on February 17th, the both lived at the time they met, in houses located on Cul-de-sac s and at the time, were both open to romance.

These elements and others as they converged, lent themselves to the start of an International ROMANCE.

Their love and their want to continue developing their relationship was the basis for creating the 30 day challenge. This 30 day challenge simply stated is “tell me the ONE thing that you want me to work on for the next 30 days that will help improve and deepen our relationship”

Wright and Rain have been married for almost 3 years and have voluntarily embarked on enhancing the friendship, love, respect and understanding that they enjoy with each other. The undertaking of this exercise is a homage to the understanding that good relationships are living organisms and need nurturing and attention.

. Next up day 5.

#30daychallenge #familove #modernlove #rela

30 Day Relationship Challenge Day 3.

Labels floated around Wright’s mind, as he grappled with the reasons that made him mentally withdraw after a disagreement or a contentious debate with his wife. The mental disappearances would last at times for hours or in the worse cases, days- minimal conversations, marginal interactions- in essence using the commodity that we have the least of --TIME --poorly.

What was the purpose of the withdrawals? What did they prove? What were they designed to highlight? Was it something as easy as “pouting” or was it some thing deeper? The truth was somewhere at the extremes and the middle--a part of it was an arrogance in thinking “ why isn't she seeing it as clearly as I see it” and another part was “is she picking a fight just to piss me off”.

Rain had the uncanny ability to enter and leave a disagreement like she was going through a revolving door- she did it seamlessly, it sometimes appeared like the disagreement THEY were just having was water on a “ducks back”. At the beginning of the discussion, it was the MOST important discussion to have and at the end of it? “why did we have it anyway”.

In a way, Wright envied the ability that Rain had, to NOT be so invested in any discussion that you could walk away and not take it PERSONALLY.

When Rain made that specific exercise for Wright a part of the 30 day Relationship challenge, it sounded like a challenge that was “spot on” and thinking through process made Wright aware of how he would address those situations in the future..

This 30 day challenge simply stated is “tell me the ONE thing that you want me to work on for the next 30 days that will help improve and deepen our relationship”. Next up day 4..

#30daychallenge #familove #modernlove #rela

#30DAYCHALLENGE #FAMILOVE MODERNLOVE

30 Day Relationship Challenge Day 2.

“You spelled out EVERYTHING when it comes to the meaning of JUDGEMENTAL but no explanation about “recovery time”- its natural because your *hit does not stink”. This was Rain’s response to reading day 1 of the 30 day relationship improvement challenge.

She was correct, during the challenge the exercise she committed to working on during the next 29 days (being less judgemental) WAS clearly defined. “Less recovery time”, after disagreements or contentious debates the exercise that her husband Wright committed to work on to benefit their marriage was less defined.

Wright’s understanding of his segment of the exercise revolved around how he went into a social or relationship shell for hours or sometimes days after a disagreement was resolved or seemingly resolved. The shell or retreat often seemed bigger and deeper when HE felt that Rain’s position in the discussion or disagreement in his perception was not reasonable. When Rain made that specific exercise a part of the 30 day Relationship challenge, it sounded like a challenge that was “spot on”..

This 30 day challenge simply stated is “tell me the ONE thing that you want me to work on for the next 30 days that will help improve and deepen our relationship”. Tune in for day 3.

#30daychallenge #familove #modernlove #rela

#30daychallenge familove modernlove relationships

30 day Relationship Challenge

A Relationship is a living organism, especially if the relationship is a 2 plus marriage. More than 2 years old less than 3 seems like the time when a relationship needs its most attention.

Wright and Rain had exited the “honeymoon” phase of marriage and wanted to insure their relationship continued to grow/develop on the foundation of their first couple of years.

A month or so before their 3rd anniversary they asked each other the question- “what is the most significant personal thing that you believe I can work on in the next 30 days to enhance our relationship’s growth”.

After some thought, Wright told Rain his recommendation was she work on being “less judgmental” in conversations and relevant perspective. Rain’s recommendation for Wright was very direct, “less recovery time” in adverse situations.

A 30 day time period for them to work on their respective challenges was established. The concept being, working on the most significant issue from your spouse daily with review and support would lay the foundation for other relationship building challenges.

What follows next are the daily steps each take..

Day 1. Sent to Rain-- a clarification of Wright’s recommendation. The conventional and Urban dictionary definition of the word Judgemental.

Judgmental is a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason. The adjective judgmental describes someone who forms lots of opinions — usually harsh or critical ones — about lots of people. ... Being judgemental means to judge people on trivial and often unfair matters ...

(Urban) A way of making ones self feel better, by hurting others. Usually caused by closed mindedness, and a lack of manners. 2.)Feeling the right to judge, and doing so. Being judgemental will show people how tactless you truely are.

Stay tuned.

Tiznit, Morocco in four days!

As “goodbyes and farewells” go, this departure was emotional- Not for Zoé though- at 3 years old she sees EVERYTHING as an adventure. Even leaving- That’s a trait to be admired, perhaps even sold. As we waved goodbye to our friends and entered the car that would take us to the airport, our first thought was, the next time, our stay would be longer. Roll out the superlatives, Our Tiznit/Moroccan experience was wonderful in every way.

We were leaving after 4 incredible days in Southern Morocco, visiting our friends in the city of Tiznit. In the time we spent at their place Riad Janoub, we bonded with them (Aby, Priya and their family) relaxed in the sun at the pool daily, ate great Moroccan food every night, experienced incredible Moroccan culture, spent a glorious day at Aglou beach, Dune Beach and the Exotic El Gzira Beach.

The first days of our adventure were spent running and biking around Tiznit, a highly recommended activity for exploring and observing the city and its people. One day we rented a car and drove from Tiznit to the Atlantic coast of Morocco. The first stop was Aglou beach, drive another 15 minutes to Mimid’s place, (a smartly located restaurant and hospitality spot) on an incredible Dune Beach. Climbing the sand dunes that are side by side with the Atlantic are memories of a lifetime.

After Dune beach, we continued a remarkable car trip along the coast of Morocco, driving through several towns that accentuated Moroccan architecture, landscape and culture. That drive took us to colorful El Gzira beach, where the Atlantic’s beaches meet the mountains of Morocco. After we experienced the Atlantic Ocean from El Gzira beach with the mountains in the background - the word that best described it was - overwhelming.

We had arrived a few days earlier from Belgium. Upon arrival at Agadir’s airport, we were immediately struck by the warm weather, the green vegetation (including orange fruit trees with ripe oranges on the ground) the police presence on the highways (it’s about an hour’s ride from Agadir airport to Tiznit) Walls, lots of walls. When we asked ABY, why so many walls, he presented us a glimpse of the extraordinary history and culture that we experienced.

“It was first documented during 110 BC. During the time of the Berbers, the country has been through several sieges by a number of invaders. Nevertheless, the Berbers ritual and beliefs still remained and became the country’s cultural heritage including its antique architecture. Many of the massive pisé buildings had defensive functions--- guard walls against pirates and rivals”.

Our arrival at Riad Janoub set the stage for a relaxing, breathtaking experience. The building is a grand multi-level Moroccan structure with rooftop access that allows scenic views of the city, 6 incredibly themed, decorated and spacious rooms, a reception/hospitality area, a stylish salon, an intimate dining room and an authentic Moroccan kitchen. Each room, overlooks the swimming pool and a well-maintained garden.

It was more of a family adventure than anything else, our daughter Zoé and Inaya Rose (Aby’s and Priya’s 3-year-old daughter)- romped through the Riad as though we were just spectators to their Moroccan exploits. From early morning to late at night, their voices resonated like music in the Riad. At the start of our first full day in Morocco, we walked the girls through the winding streets of the Medina, beyond the “Great wall” into an Olive tree garden where they frolicked and took pictures, and played in a grand square. They reminded us adults of what life can be, when you live in and savor the moments.

#riadjanoub morocco familyvacation beaches #love culture beautiful tagine

2 Seasons of Familove.

Good relationships include the process of self-evolvement- FIRST. If you’re involved with someone else, married or dating, then your process also includes learning and growing with your partner. The past couple of years has proven to be “eye opening” as it relates to having a loving, growth oriented relationship. For us, the past few months specifically, have been both spiritual and soul touching.

When you as a man realize a simple truth, “do whatever she wants when she wants it done” your relationship is more than halfway there, you are approaching the Zen master status in the process of self –evolvement. I’m only HALF kidding when I say this, however, even if you choose to follow this formula, you still NEED the cosmos’ assistance. We have been very lucky.

Spring and summer this year have been memorable for many reasons. Among the top items on that list, Zoe’s healthy birth, Stephanie’s post-delivery health and our growing relationship as parents`, soul mates and friends. The latter has been the foundation in these 2 remarkable seasons. It was the first time the two of us spent as much time together as we did. Paternal/maternal leave plus the fact that I work from home made 24/7 the norm for us. Oh, did I mention a new baby??? .

As OUR foundation grew, our daughter Zoe, started to blossom. By the end of July, Zoe had experienced the excitement of the World Cup, her baptism, road trips to Amsterdam/Paris and a Passport. A passport!!! As she approached her 16th week of life, the next logical step was, her first flight. As it turned out, we were invited to Palma de Mallorca to visit a friend of Stephanie’s. This was a double win, a trip to the beach coupled with Zoe’s first flight.

We did the necessary reading and preparation for the baby as we approached the first flight to Palma de Mallorca, “let her drink/swallow on takeoffs and landings” to alleviate any pressure on her ears. Good advice, fortunately we did not need it. After we boarded, we were given an orange seat belt for her (it attaches to a normal seat belt) on cue, she fell asleep and woke up when we landed 2 hours later… Nary a peep from her during the flight. Since this was our first experience flying with an infant, maybe we just got lucky.

Spain, well Palma de Mallorca, is a great destination. The island has a modern European flavor, however in August it’s very hot, tropical. It was Great beach weather (most of the time) which lent itself to other firsts, Zoe on the beach and in the Mediterranean. http://www.seetaj.info/#!grid/cqq8

Romance in the Mediterranean for us, the parents of a 4 month old girl, takes on the form of “couple evolvement”, although you are together 24/7, the old saying “you have to get in wherever you can fit in” is apropos. Our flight back to Belgium was scheduled for 6.55 am that means being at the airport 2 hours earlier, Zoe woke up with us, and kept us company all the way until we boarded, and as an experienced traveler, as soon as door to the aircraft closed, she fell asleep. The next “wake up” call occurred when we landed at Brussels South. http://www.seetaj.info/#!grid/cqq8

100%, a 100% of the Time

The arrival of a new child to care and nurture is momentous, regardless of how many times you have done it before. As a parent you want to do everything perfectly for your child all the time. Right?? That concept makes one PONDER this question......

What's a 100%, 100% of the time???

Is it.....

Your love for your child or your children?? For many, that love lasts a lifetime. However as parents we understand sometimes our children's actions or decision making, gives us pause- we don't stop loving but, sometimes even for a "second" we love from a distance.

Is it....

The Love of a spouse or partner? Even when you exclude the high divorce rates around the developed world, most of us have experienced times where our spouse or partner, have made us, even for an instant, "go to a neutral corner ".

Is it....

Your Health? Even Monarchs' have an heir to their throne. It’s the reason why estate planning is such a lucrative business. Even with access to the best health care in the world, no one is living forever.

Is it.....

Your wealth? Headlines of banks being over extended or Ponzi schemes in all varieties or sudden calamity can test even the wealthiest.

Is it...

The love for mankind from whomever you consider the higher power?? What about calamities like Hurricane Katrina??? Did the people of New Orleans or Haiti upset someone or something??? How about the victims of ANY natural or man induced disaster around the world???

It appears that TIME is the determining factor in the 100%, 100% of the time discussion. As I look at Zoe now, 15 weeks young, SHE’S depending on her parents 100%, a 100% of the time... That will change as time goes by...

Yep, time does have a way of adding and changing perspective. Saying that you made an error, looks a lot different if you say 9 of every 10 times I made that decision it WORKED OUT. Reality in parenting, as in most things is almost like the PARETO principle, "80% of your business come from 20% of your clients". In essence you don't have to make ALL of the right decisions as it relates to loving, parenting, or playing a hand of blackjack to win, HOWEVER you must be able to identify the important decisions, (THE 20%) and do well on those.

As parents, we are not going to hit the "parenting perfection" standard often, if at all. Seems that CONSISTENCY in positive actions should be our objective.

A friend once told me, the Sun rising in the east and foolishness, top the list of things that are a 100% a 100% of the time.

A South Beach Saga

South Beach Saga!

Countdown, countdown, countdown! It seemed like there was always a countdown to the next time. Immediately after spending New Year's Eve and New Year's Day together in Belgium, THIS countdown started.

We would meet in 70 days, for Stéphanie's birthday. The rendezvous- South Florida. For us it was it was back to Skype, phone calls and emails. I kept myself busy by working, becoming an avid runner and exploring new employment opportunities. These activities kept me focused and made winter the vehicle that took me to Spring. We choose to meet in Florida in mid-March for a few reasons; warm weather, beaches, I have family in Florida AND my best friend Lonnie and his Wife Patricia lived just outside of Miami.

Stéphanie would fly in from Brussels, I would fly in from Chicago to the Miami area on the same day. March16th. When March rolled around, I was offered and accepted a position with a new company. My start date was April 1st, this news in essence cleared my schedule for 2 weeks. The timing was perfect!!!!! Beach gear packed, I was off to Miami. http://www.seetaj.info/#!large-grid/c1fxg

I got into the Miami area first, Lonnie and Patricia picked me up at the Ft Lauderdale airport, the three of us headed to Miami International to await Stéphanie's arrival. My friends knew of Stéphanie but, had never met her. They were about to meet the woman of my life, she was about to meet my best friend and his Wife. That set the stage for the first evening.

At the arrival terminal at Miami International, I hid in the baggage carousel area, to surprise her, after serenading her with a rendition of Happy Birthday (Her birthday was the day before, March 15th) I took her to meet Lonnie and Patricia AND to enjoy the sights and sounds of Miami on a Saturday night. That was the start to an epic trip.

Two weeks in Florida took us from Miami, to “Celebration” (yes that’s the name of a town in Florida) to Orlando and places "in" between. We went from the Beaches of West Palm to "hanging out" with Mickey and Minnie to visiting family in Sanford Florida who had, to say the least, very exotic animals that we could experience “up-close and personal”. Nothing however prepared us for our dramatic conclusion...

Departure day came way too soon, we both were reflecting, reviewing and reacting to the days gone by and the upcoming days of separation. After breakfast, we headed to the train station in West Palm Beach. The departure time was 8:05 am. Stephanie kept an eye on our luggage, while I went to purchase the tickets.

Picture this, it was around 7:57 am, we were already on the platform, the doors to the train were open, it was a mere formality to get the tickets, put the luggage on the train and head to the airport. Right?

Purchasing the tickets at this machine was no easy transaction this morning. The machine was being "picky" on what bills to accept. My intensity to accomplish this task in the now 8 minutes that was remaining was high, I did not hear Stéphanie calling me (she maintains it was, “several times") to "hurry". I swear, I heard nothing, NOT EVEN the announcement of "doors are closing".

When the tickets finally came out of the machine, to my HORROR, not only were the train doors closed with Stéphanie and the luggage onboard, BUT it was pulling out of the station. I started running beside the train YELLING for it to stop. Stéphanie's face was pressed against the windows, my horror mirrored on her face. The train won the race. It pulled out of the station, leaving me there in West Palm, and with Stephanie onboard heading to another destination.

The time for panic evaporated. It turned out we both had the same idea at the same time... CALL... I called her (found out later that she was dialing my number when her phone rang) we quickly planned for her to get off at the next station (5 minutes away on the train). I called the taxi that brought us to the train station, no answer..... I called Lonnie, no answer, I called Patricia who DID answer. Lucky for us this morning, Lonnie was already dressed.

As he has done on many occasions in the 30 years I have known him, he came to our rescue. His house was a few minutes away from both stations, he came picked me up and drove me to the station where we were re-united.

On the drive to the station, Lonnie and I had the opportunity to talk about the time we just spent together. The adventure made me think of the saying "Random doesn't exist". It almost seemed that our train adventure occurred to give me and my best friend an opportunity to “close out” the visit to Florida. In any case it sure assisted in giving our Seetaj movie a happy ending after a fantastic 2 weeks together. http://www.seetaj.info/#!large-grid/c1fxg

Road to Paris....

There are road trips to Paris, then there ARE road trips to Paris that include a 3 month “young” baby, 2 Chihuahuas, a stroller, a baby chair, diapers, baby milk, baby bottles, dog food, clothes for everyone for 3 days and snacks for the road. These items were just a few of the ingredients for this family adventure to the City of Love to visit our friends. They’ve been living in Paris for 4 years and invited us to spend a few days with them.

We packed the car and started the 230 kilometer, 3 hour drive. Paris is considered one of the leading destination for vacationers in the world. It’s a city where love, romance, beauty, history, intrigue, culture and food rendezvous. This was our family unit’s second trip to another country. We had practiced in late MAY with a trip to Amsterdam. This trip however, had a different composition to it.

See Amsterdam pictures here: http://www.seetaj.info/#!large-grid/c1oea

Factor number one, Zoé is 3.5 months, she stays awake longer, additionally, and there are times that she gets VERY vocally expressive. Factor 2--the dogs. While in Amsterdam, we stayed at a pet friendly hotel, this trip we were guests at our friends’ home. Zoe and the dogs are usually great- however, the uncertainty of these factors added a certain level of trepidation. How we’d manage these two dynamics, would determine the outcome of our adventure.

Before Zoé was born, Stéphanie and I had sworn our love to each other on the world famous “love locks” bridge- Pont Des Arts. As is the tradition, we placed locks on the fence and threw our keys into the Seine. As we settled in to the drive to Paris, we discussed and decided that our priorities for the trip were few, have a great time with our friends Liisa and Ian, have Zoé record some of the sights and sounds of PARIS while we spiced up our romance. Since Zoé’s birth, we had not been out together –alone.

A “funny thing” happened on the way to handling our priorities, we took our eyes off of us. We were very involved in being parents in the evolving issues of our almost 4 month old baby. It almost felt like we were going through the motions of appreciating the sights and sounds of Paris. We found ourselves involved in passionate conversations with each other about how much was she eating, too much too little, how much time was the right amount to hold her and other things that pointed to a clear fact---we needed to focus on our unit’s engine…. US, and on the reason we are together, our LOVE.

Our friends were incredibly gracious, they volunteered to “baby sit” Zoé and the dogs while we explored Paris. As we left the house it FELT different. It was the 2 of us!!!! We strolled hand in hand down the streets of Paris, after a few minutes the atmosphere, the urban hum that is the city’s signature kicked into high gear.

Preview Paris Pictures here: http://www.seetaj.info/#!grid/c480

As we walked we looked for ANYTHING that spoke to or of love, happiness, togetherness or romance and took a photograph of every example we found. This was an unbelievable exercise. Instantly we were laughing, kissing and having fun with each other. Our romantic stroll took us back to Pont Des Arts, one of the epicenters for love and romance in the city. While there we looked for our “love locks” placed there 9 months earlier, the trip to the bridge on this occasion served as a reminder to us, first things first—our love, kept strong boosts everything in our unit.

An afternoon well spent with each other matriculated into a fantastic evening with Zoé, our friends and a fantastic Sushi Dinner. Incredible Friends, Incredible Family unit and incredible city, Paris: http://www.seetaj.info/#!grid/c480

New Year's Eve In Belgium -Familove

The days until we saw each other again, moved like their supposed to, one second at a time. To us however, it was much slower than that.

Stéphanie left Chicago in October, our next rendezvous was scheduled for December in the European Capital of , Brussels. Most people understand that good relationships are challenging even when you are involved with someone you see regularly. For us, being in a transatlantic romance added different dimensions. We communicated daily, Skype, telephone, SMS messages etc., we found ways to bridge the distance gap (4.156miles/6.659km from Chicago to Brussels)

The days from October to December were filled with thoughts about the trip to Europe. Meeting Stéphanie’s family, her friends, experiencing Europe in the winter and most of all, the thought of spending New Year's Eve with her. These thoughts motivated me through my daily grind.

In recent years I rarely celebrated Xmas or NYE. This year, this trip, lined up perfectly. It was an opportunity for us to end the year AND start the New Year together. When I arrived in Brussels, Stéphanie whisked me off to a quaint Hotel in the heart of Brussels, she’d reserved an Indian themed suite for us. The atmosphere was exotic and romantic.

The excitement of being in a famous world capital, being in the company of a beautiful woman, drinking champagne and spending time with her was a grand start that kept getting better. It was remarkable for the number of firsts it afforded us. Our first European Xmas market together, exploring places like Matongue Ixelles, meeting Stéphanie's parents, her family, her friends, and for the first time, experiencing her dogs Diablo and Bomba.

These "firsts" happened within the first few days of our time together. With us reunited, our emotions were on full blast. The "firsts" kept coming at a furious pace including planning our first New Year’s Eve together. We kept it elegant and simple. We spent it at home, each of us prepared a traditional dish, we dressed up for dinner and rang in 2013 in each other’s arms. We made the evening fun. The food, the music, the wine, the company of Diablo and Bomba (our dogs) made the experience especially great!! As it approached midnight we slipped in to more comfortable attire and watched the New Year countdown on television. The perfect way to start the New Year, TOGETHER.

http://www.seetaj.info/#!gallery-belgium-2012/cw67

Our New Year momentum started strong. Stéphanie booked an excursion to Oostende, a Belgian town on the North Sea. We took a 2 hour train ride to Oostende, it was early January and cold, us being together on this adventure however, made it a very warm experience. Stéphanie explained to me that the legendary musician, Marvin Gaye spent a few years in Oostende. Her surprise for me/us?? We were going to retrace Marvin's steps while he lived in Oostende. An Amazing proposition. With the help of maps and an iPod, we followed Marvin's "footsteps".

It must be an Oostende Chamber of Commerce idea since we walked all around town. We stopped for beer in Belgian taverns, Bloody Mary's in hotel bars and experienced one of the biggest delights for me - seeing in its winter majesty - the NORTH SEA. It was an incredible rendezvous in Belgium. Marvin said it best, baby, "you sure love to ball". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Q4Px4Lwik

{Insert Oostende video}

The Start of Something Romantic

We were drinking Kraken Rum, me and my buddy Lonnie, at his home in South Florida. Relaxing, looking at basketball, getting each other caught up on the happenings in each other’s lives after many years. Yet, my thoughts constantly drifted into the unknown area of ... how will the "SKIN TEST" be judged.

Stéphanie had come up with the concept of the "skin test".

Her definition, was, when you meet a person, the first touch of skin determines how much chemistry exists.

Will sparks fly?????

I felt great about what I had discovered about her, my comfort level was very high, for me this "skin test" was a mere formality.

But what if........

Wednesday morning arrived in Southern Florida with the pomp and circumstance that surrounds a Florida rain storm. The day I had been waiting for months was here. For a cool, collected, customer as I like to think of myself, I had "butterflies in my stomach".

As Lonnie and I started the 45 minute drive to the airport, he was reading/feeling my anxiety, he started playing some Marley music- the soulful reggae tunes combined with the sight of the Atlantic Ocean had a calming effect on me.

We arrived at Miami airport said our goodbyes, I cleared security, boarded the aircraft, an hour later I arrived in Montego Bay Jamaica.

No phone service for me once in Mo' Bay. The shuttle takes, the "scenic route" to Club Riu, our rendezvous location. I decided to add intrigue to the meeting, before leaving the bus I scouted the lobby. It was a "birds ‘eye view" of her entering the space where we would eventually meet.

http://www.seetaj.info/#!gallery/cwvn

The evening “rush hour” at the hotel reception area was over when the shuttle arrived. After checking in, I moved into the lobby bar, called up to her room, announced my arrival and invited her to join me in the lobby bar. To pass the time and to control my adrenaline, I struck up a conversation with a Canadian couple in the bar, the topic of the conversation??? Rain, it had been raining for a few days prior to my arrival, I assured them, that now that I had arrived, the weather was going to be better. They were rather taken with my bravado.

As the tropical evening began to envelope us, my eyes were pealed to the right, the direction I figured she would appear…then, just then, I saw her, it seemed like time stood still.

http://youtu.be/9EKsCmjvwzc

She moved seamlessly into the bar, with all of the things going on in the bar and in my mind, approaching her turned out to be the most natural thing in the world. We approached each other, although we had discovered, explored and knew each other well after countless hours talking and communicating, we were very deliberate in our actions, we hugged and "pecked" each on the cheeks....

The "skin test" was not only positive- it was ELECTRICITY. The SEETAJ story had truly begun.

International romance. Unique perspective on Love, Family, life's adventures and passions. We share our life's challenges and pleasures in Français and English.

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The walk from the hotel lobby to our rooms on the sprawling campus that is Club Riu, Negril was tantalizing. Travel jitters replaced with bubbling excitement. Stéphanie and I walked, talked and appreciated the fact -for the next seven days- we were going to enjoy each others' company, the Caribbean Sea, the beach, cocktails, food and the adventures of a tropical paradise.

" How long after you meet her do you think it would take for the 2 of you to, hmmmm, ah, um, get it on" ? This was a question that was posed to me by one of my friends, after I shared plans for meeting a gorgeous woman in sunny, tropical, Negril, Jamaica! Ok, its the type of thing that some guys discuss-

Hell, I figured after numerous interactions (hours at a time), an infinite number of electronic mails, countless SMS messages, our feelings for each other, a romantic location, all these factors would definitely work in our favor. The truth is, I had NO idea. I just knew the feelings between us would be enough to take the "skin test" to another level. If these circumstances couldn't do it........well nothing would... "Nothing ventured, nothing gained".

If you ever find yourself on a trivia show, and the question is "what's the only English speaking country on the continent of South America"?, the answer is Guyana! The small country on the northern coast of South America, between Brazil and Venezuela .

I was born THERE . I now live in the US. Many people in my family migrated to either the United Kingdom or the United States, it was during this period, early childhood, when my mom was overseas, that I grew to appreciate, count on and Love my Grandmother Hannah, we called her "H", so being in the hot sunny Caribbean with Stéphanie, was, in a sense being at home.

Stéphanie, was born in Belgium, lives there, has travelled extensively and like me, had a great love affair with HER grandmother. Renee, whom she affectionately calls Mamy Blue. We were both previously married and both not lucky in long term romances.

Shortly after our "skin test", Stéphanie and I left the lobby bar, headed to the wing in Club Riu where we had our respective rooms. Stéphanie came to the to island with one of her best friends, France.

She and France shared a room. I found out later that Stéphanie had "organized" (she gave the front desk staff at the hotel Belgian Chocolate to close the deal) that I get a room in the same building and as it happened, our rooms were also on the same floor. The perfect "storm".

The week was everything we expected and more. We spent all of our time together. We frolicked on the beach. We ate breakfast, lunch and dinner together every day, on the days we were on the property we participated in many of the activities that this all inclusive resort offered. We danced in the pool, sun worshipped, ate, drank- it was the start of an amazing time together.

It must have been a day and a half or maybe two days into our time there that we discovered, Seven Mile Beach. This too was love at first sight!!! We later validated on the internet that it (Seven Mile Beach) was listed as one of the 10 best beaches in the world, we did not need the internet to tell us this, we experienced it.

The water warm and clear like water in a bath tub, very picturesque, a place to enjoy with someone you love and enjoy being with, a lovers paradise. We started our beach bound adventure by finding a local taxi driver who took us to a small bar on the beach. We walked in and immediately fell into each others arms, dancing. After that introduction, we spent every day of the remainder of our vacation there.

It was by far the most beautiful beaches that we had ever experienced. One day for the ultimate adventure we decided that we would take a bottle of water and walk the entire beach, this was an ambitious undertaking. 7 miles- thus the name- Seven Mile Beach.

As we walked the along the sandy beach, it turned from a remote ocean paradise to a resort area and we experienced it all- together- when we got to the resort area, we found a ocean front restaurant- ordered cold beverages,Stephanie mixed a Belgium sauce for our French Fries- we ate, drank, soaked in each other and the Caribbean sea. I still melt at the memory.

With all of these activities, before we realized, it was time for me head back to Chicago and Stephanie to Brussels. "Parting is such sweet sorrow", but parting didn't seem sweet to us at all.

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