does anyone wanna be on taglist for this gojo x reader series? 🧚♀️✨
title. if the world was ending
synopsis. gojo satoru is your long lost love, the one that got away, that heartbreak that time could never heal, and you haven’t spoken to him in years. but when an asteroid the size of the empire state building is set to crash into the earth in three days, and effectively wipe out all life as we know it, then surely some promises of no contact can be broken, right?
warnings/tags. heavy angst, smut, fluff, dystopian au, second chance romance, end of the world romance; mentions of pregnancy & abortion, violence, blood, alcohol, smoking, drugs, cannibalism, suicide, murder, starvation, corruption, basically all the crazy shit that goes down across the globe when eight billion people realize they’re all going to die.
parts. there will be a total of four parts! i anticipate 50k words
teaser. here’s a little teaser!! as always i can never choose which part to tease but i suppose this kinda gives a gist:
note. for my followers that read my other series, i promise that this one will be like four parts max lol it’s just it was actually supposed to be a oneshot but when i finished writing the first part was alr 10k+ so🧍🏻♀️i figured i’d make it like a sort of limited series?? mini series?? but fret not lol i will still continue to update kickoff & ihm in the midst :”)
comment below if you’d like to be on the taglist, and please make sure your settings allow you to be tagged or else i won’t be able to tag you
much loveee!! i’m so very excited for this one :”0
𝑪𝑼𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑭𝑹𝑬𝑬𝑫𝑶𝑴 「 part 1 」
soshiro hoshina x f! officer! reader
a/n: yes! first Kaiju no. 8 fic ever! idk how many of you would like to read from Kaiju but I've been obsessed with it lately, and especially with Soshiro. it's pretty short and wrote it cause I needed to think of other things after studying. So yeah, enjoy!
tw: there aren't "sex" scenes, however mdni as it has suggestive language, nudity and mature content. (thank god for this manga having almost every character above 25!). Pretty much inspired on Soshi's backstory from Kaiju no 8 side B, so expect fluff too.
what happened on the following days? more Soshiro smut, here.
masterlist
“I can’t take the suit off” you murmur, trying to lower the front zipper. The mission took much more than what you expected, and the kaiju stench is making you nauseous.
For the time being, most of your squad members have already jumped into the showers. But you, still trying to get out of the suit, haven’t.
“I… this shit… why is it not working?” you protest, forcing the zipper more and more, but it hasn’t been able to go down past the beginning of your chest.
You try to look for the intercom; pressing it to call the Operations leader Konomi, will surely help you out with the captive suit. But, you can’t find it. Did you lose the little intercom before coming back to the base? Or did it fell around there?
Everything seems to be flaunting tonight. It’s late, you are tired. You’ve been hit several times by different Kaiju, but none of them -luckily- was able to injure you.
However, you begin to feel an incredible -and uncontrollable- heat coming from the suit itself and reaching the inner layers of your skin and organs.
You don’t panic. At first.
You definitely panic two minutes later, when the heat is unbearable and the pain in such restrictive jail is almost deadly.
“Help…” you whine, not loud enough to be heard by anyone else. Or at least, definitely not enough to be listened over the lively chattering coming from the showers.
But it hurts, as much as the acid of those despicable monsters when their core explode. And it really begins to interfere with your breathing, and thus, with your consciousness.
“Help me… I’m burning…” you scream louder this time. But no one comes, and your knees hit the ground in pain.
Tears flood up your eyes, your nails aren’t enough to tear the thick skin of Izumo Techs’ innovative suit. No guns are enough, probably, even if you had the chance to go grab yours… it wouldn’t be useful.
You pray, you wish for someone to cut that trap into pieces.
“H- help… me…”
“WHAT IS IT?!”
In between blurred eyes and painful frown, you device an angel of slanted eyes and deep purple hair.
“I… the suit… it’s boiling… it’s overheating… I can’t take it off” you grasp a little bit of air and try to communicate -effectively- the reason of your suffering.
“Stay quiet” he commands, and you comply. There is nothing you wouldn’t do to go against his orders.
An immediate relief comes with enough cuts that you couldn’t even see. Completely naked, completely soaked in sweat. There you lay, panting, with still stings of pain reverberating all over your skin.
“Come here” he says, ripping the remaining pieces off the suit still ferally attached to your burning skin. And as feral as the suit is, the feral his hands are when ripping its pieces away.
“Vice-captain Hoshina… th-thank you…” you cry, completely unaware of your impure show off.
His eyes open widely, and for the first time you see the beautiful bloody irises he usually keeps hidden away. But his expression is not jovial, nor even neutral. He is by far worried.
Probably for the first time in ages, the blades have fallen to the ground and with those same hands he saved your life he hurries to carry you to the men’s showers.
At the speed of light, cold water begins to gush from the showerheads. Your body feels instant relief; so much there is even some vapor coming from your skin.
As it bathes you, it also bathes him. Completely dressed, Soshiro gets drenched in the same water as you. And, as his hair becomes wet, one of his hands moves it out of his face, revealing his façade completely.
Your arms hang from his shoulders into his back. Your knees, fight to keep you standing up even if the one actually holding you up is no other than him.
Soshiro is completely mute, and so do you. There is, maybe, no need to speak.
He lets his jacket slide through his shoulders to finally fall into the shower’s floor. The compressive shirt underneath gets also wet, becoming something like a second skin of him. Showing off the hours of training, and why he is the vice-captain of your division.
Immorally, you that were on the brink of death a couple of minutes ago, now feel in heaven because of your saviour. Because of your blades wielding hero.
Once again, he was able to save a life with those thinly cut masses of iron.
His hand, with soft but still steady pace, clean something off your back. And for that your breasts are pressed against his chest. You can see his neck from the side, as he tries to take a deeper look at your shoulder blades. You inhale the scent of his skin, a mix of sweat from the last battle and manly hints of fresh perfume.
“You got them almost engraved on your skin. What the fuck? The suits aren’t supposed to hurt you this way” he whispers, close to your ear. “We should go to the medical pavilion, now” he adds.
You nod, feeling how everything has started to spin around you and your stamina decreases more and more.
“Thank you, Soshi- Hoshina fuku Taichou…” you babble, realizing your faces are closer that what they should ever be and your arms and his are interlocked pretty strongly to the other’s body.
He takes a deep breath through his tiny nose, looking at you with lazy eyes. Just a tiny line of red is visible, as tiny as the opening of his lips that let prominent fangs barely flash.
Soshiro’s chest goes up and down, harder every time. His muscles tense more and more, especially the ones on his neck. His hug gets even tighter, pulling you so closer that ever before.
“It’s… ok…” he barely words; something is affecting that man… and it’s probably all your body, all your still warm skin being his for at least a couple of minutes, the way your lips have become red and pouty, your sloppy eyes and the warmth of your breath closer to his mouth.
“What happened!!??” “Vice-captain?!” “are you two allr-“ the girls scream in terror. Probably, once they were out of the showers they faced the dantesque scenery of blades lying on the ground and a anti kaiju suit completely destroyed and fuming scattered all over the floor.
Within seconds, not only the officers of squad 3 have reached the place but also the men. Some of them, thinking not the worst… but probably that Hoshina fuku Taichou and you have finally caved in for lust.
With a fast reaction, Soshiro grabs the coat of his own uniform to cover you up. And with a much more severe tone ever heard, he orders Kikoru to call Mina and Okomi and let them know he is taking a badly injured officer to the medical pavilion. As for the rest, a scary deadly look over his shoulder was enough to make them run away from the place allowing him to pass.
You, however, couldn’t quite experience such happenings, as your consciousness had fade away right before your comrades arrived.
A soft white light shines in between your shut eyes; the sound of unknown solitude reaches your ears as well as the synchronic beep of your heart reflected on a machine.
“What-“ you mumble, regaining consciousness. Your body feels cold, and you are thankful for that. Your limbs are heavy, but you can move them. Your lips and mouth are dry, but you smile as you remember vague flashes of Soshiro and you under the shower.
You finally open your eyes to discover you are indeed at some kind of medical facility, soon remembering this is the place you all come when you are severely injured after battle.
Everything on your body seems to be on its place, and for that you breathe alleviated. Thankful to your hero, you wonder how to thank him when you are out of here… or maybe, you just plan to leave the squad as he has seen you completely naked.
“I didn’t know you were awake already” a well-known voice scares you away. You try to stand up, but his hand stops you from doing so. “I couldn’t sleep, I was worried for you” he says, with that sweet funny tone he often uses to communicate.
There is, as far as you could see, anyone around but you and him. Soshiro, who apparently couldn’t sleep, has come to see you.
Your cheeks burn, and it’s not because of a defective suit now. It is because, you are deeply embarrassed, and still, something inside you is jumping with genuine happiness to see him here.
“I’m ok, Sir. But.. you didn’t have to come! I’m deeply thankful for you saving my life, and I promise you I will replace the uniform you got all wet” you say, trying to look away from him who has came closer to your bed.
Soshiro bursts out laughing, the way he only knows how to. He grabs his stomach, and soon flashes of the way those abs looked with wet fabric sticked to them, makes you shiver.
“You- you should worry for your own suit! Not mine!” he continues laughing while, little by little, he ends up sitting right on the bed. “By the way, you know why your suit almost killed you?” he asks.
You swallow. What- why is he sitting next to you?
You shake your head in denial, out of words, because you couldn’t think of a reason for such big flaw on that impressive technological miracle.
Soshiro, who is well known for being at least a little bit irreverent -and that’s exactly what you love the most about him-, gets himself comfortable next to you. He lies back, as you move to the side to make him some space.
Now, the scent of his skin is clean and delicious -even more than earlier-. And you can smell it, because there isn’t much room to be separated on a single bed.
“Well… you had a piece of Kaiju tooth stuck on your lower back. Therefore, the suit either processed it as a threat or… it reacted with the pieces of kaiju within it. In any case, you will be given a new one in a couple of days” he tells you, with his right arm stuck underneath the back of his head.
His bicep, perfectly moulded to be strong, but still lightweight to be as agile as possible, protrudes with the hem of the compression shirt around it. Does he really know how sexy he looks? Or he is absolutely unaware of the effects he has?
“Oh…” you sigh. You take it as a personal failure; how were you not able to see it?
“Don’t worry, this incident helped them to investigate further security measures… however, isn’t your back hurting?” he asks, this time turning to you.
You deny, again, without any words coming from your mouth. But there isn’t much you could do, when Soshiro turns you around so that your back faces him.
“You do, in fact, have a big bruise. I should report this, too” he comments, as his soft index travels down your spine, to the small of your back.
Your eyes, opened big enough to look like moons, have stopped seeing all around and all you can think of is the proximity of that man to you.
“You good?” he murmurs, ignorant of everything happening to your body.
“Ye-yes, vice-captain. I wanna thank you for taking care of us the way you do; hadn’t been for you, I’d be dead by now…” you pull those words from who knows where, even if your muscles seem paralyzed from his touch. Your speech sounds like those you give when you follow commands during battle.
He laughs; this time softer and sweeter. You can feel his body coming closer, enough to feel the tip of his nose grazing your neck.
“We should have each other’s backs in here, or else… but most importantly, being told my blades will not be useful to fight and protect, you remind me once again that they indeed can” he whispers, making your skin shiver.
It’s clear that he wants you. And you want him, too. And you always knew, and he always knew. And all of them, too. Why, just now, on a place where you should be monitored, there were nobody around if not?
“Can I rest here for a minute?” he asks, as his forehead lands on your nape.
“All the time you want, Vice-captain” you answer back, smiling softly.
You slowly relax, as his hand slides in the most delicate way towards your belly to hug you. Your hand, also delicate, fall on top of his, confirming how much you would love for him to touch you like this forever.
“Call me Soshiro when we are like this, ok?” he murmurs, planting the first kiss right on your shoulder.
You turn around, slowly. Even if you would love to stay the way you were, you can’t stop yourself from wanting to see his face.
“Soshiro…” you whisper, coming closer to his lips.
“That’s better…” he smiles, kindly.
And one kiss, and then another came by…
and thankfully, that night, there were no more Kaiju around.
➢ summary: when visiting the third division, there’s never a shortage of questions and confusion about you. a few take it upon themselves to get to the bottom of it.
➢ content: hoshina x fem!reader, 2573 words, nosy officers, jealous hoshina, suggestive at the end, iharu has a crush on you, slight spoilers for the manga for certain instances to make the plans make sense but it’s vague
➢ notes: i was reading thru character profiles and it made writing this a little easier w the interactions 🫡 hope u enjoy
prequel - pt. 1 of slice & dice - pt. 2
The lives of the higher-ups were always a topic of discussion for the members of the defense force. If anything, it seemed to be entertainment and gossip to exchange and bond over between divisions. One of the hot topics includes Commander Ashiro’s childhood, courtesy of Kafka.
The only person they couldn’t get anything on was their own Vice-Commander. He was already an enigma himself with that cheerful yet unsettling grin, and they were all witnesses to the receiving end of his narrowed stares during training. The most they could get out of him was a boisterous laugh that shared nothing. They were getting bored.
But with boredom comes the urge to seek new things. And in this case, dirt on Vice-Commander Hoshina.
There wasn’t much they could see initially–until you came along.
Now, you weren’t an uncommon sight for the Third Division officers. They would see you hanging around Okonogi or eyeing a few of the new officers during training with an intense gaze that they didn’t know if they should feel flattered or intimidated. Most of the time, however, you were in close proximity to Hoshina. During division meetings, the officers never saw a day without the two of you conversing in some way whether it be through words or standing right next to each other. There was no blatant physical contact but the distance between you two was a little odd to say the least.
So some took it upon themselves to start a mission.
Kikoru would never voice her true intentions out loud but it was clear that she was as invested as her companions were if her constant questions about the matter said anything about it. She was influenced by her close peers and their enthusiasm definitely fed that.
Reno didn’t want anything to do with it… at first. He changed his mind after only an hour and he thinks it’s due to spending too much time with a certain someone who loved entertainment. Iharu sneezes in the distance.
Kafka was simultaneously wanting to join the younger members in their antics, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to risk another week of pushups. While he would admit that his arms were tougher, those exercises reminded him of the embarrassment every time he miscalled his commander. But the thought of having some knowledge about Hoshina was interesting, to say the least.
It seemed they were all bored overall.
Ultimately, they all decided to make a plan and figure it out separately. Your division was visiting for a week and reconvening would wait until the weekend. It was time to investigate.
Minase was the one to kick it off, prompting her fellow members to gain more confidence. It all started with an innocent encounter in the operations room when she, Kikoru, and Hakua passed by.
There were voices inside but the most prominent ones were yours and Hoshina’s. The Vice-Commander was a little surprised to see them when they intercepted at the door but it is quickly masked when you step out, a hint of a smile on your face possibly due to the joke he told you only moments before.
“Now, what’re you three doin’ here?” The Vice-Commander asks, hands in his pockets while you stand slightly behind him with your head tilted.
Minase always had a good ear being a great listener for her peers and was able to hear what he had said to you. It was a flirty quip, but not enough to not be told to a close friend. Upon seeing that she had caught both of your attention, she smiles.
“Good afternoon!” You greet her as well but a silence falls over you five. It’s a bit awkward–Kikoru side-eyes her friend to see what the whole stopping and rushing over here was for, but Minase had a plan already set. “We were actually looking for you, Commander,” she looks directly at you and you raise a brow at the implication of her tone.
“Oh?” You take a step forward. “What for?”
“Some training tips, is all. After the last session you gave us, it motivated us to work on our blade work even more!” Like Hoshina, your preferred way of fighting had nothing to do with the guns everyone else used. You hum in acknowledgement.
The Third was full of promising new officers and it would be a waste to not help them hone their skills even more. But you were sure Hoshina was pushing them enough with his own swordsmanship. You even learned a lot from him yourself.
Hakua stifles a choked sound when Minase elbows her gently, not expecting to be put on the spot just like that. And despite already being told of their group’s plan beforehand and having her outgoing personality, it was still a nerve-racking request.
“Y-Yeah! You seem close to Commander Narumi so we thought you guys would have similar fighting styles.” In your head, you think they’re referring to how he’s the strongest and anyone would want to learn from the best of the best. Gen wasn’t the easiest to get a hold of and you felt flattered they would ask you directly, so of course you would help out.
On the side, Kikoru is tasked with watching the Vice-Commander. Not all reactions were verbal and she was the most observant of the three, but she couldn’t maintain her eyes on him the whole time lest he get suspicious.
But now she thinks her eyes have deceived her. At the mention of Commander Narumi, Hoshina’s eyes peek open. She sees how they darken more as Hakua talks about your fighting styles but just like his initial surprise earlier, that expression left as quickly as it came.
She tucks that away.
–
Vice-Commander Hoshina had his “Kaiju killing eyes” at the mention of Commander Narumi. Don’t know what that could mean. - Kikoru
That’s jealousy! - Minase
Now you see what I mean about his eyes?? - Kafka
–
Iharu was infatuated with you from the get-go, though would say that his first inspiration was Commander Ashiro. Saving him that day was what began his journey into the Defense Force, but it was you who motivated him to alter his fighting style to keep up with Reno.
Speaking of the latter, he was sitting beside him in the cafeteria as the two tried to think of a plan for their part. They caught wind that Kikoru’s group got a promising lead and it was up to the rest to solidify it. But they’ve been stuck for the past hour trying to come up with their own thing and asking for training would be a stolen idea.
Reno watches as more and more officers walk into the shared area and grab their meals from the line. They’re a mix of your division and the Third Division members conversing among themselves and he immediately sits up with his idea. Iharu turns his head in surprise to find Reno’s attention already turned to him.
“What? Got an idea?” Reno nods fervently and brings both of their heads down to speak more quietly. Iharu raises his brows at the proposal and his cheeks turn pink. He’s outspoken, yeah, and confident, sure, but this was you.
His friend pleads with him. He relents.
It’s not too long before you step into the cafeteria with the goal of lunch like everyone else. Spending time with Okonogi was great and all but she fried your brain with data only she and your Operations Leader Sora could keep up with. This was grounds for a well-deserved meal before your joint training session as well.
Iharu watches as you get in line and as he stands up to line up behind you, and like Reno predicted as you grab your tray, you see the officer. To his and Iharu’s surprise, you greet him first.
“Officer Furuhashi, right?” You ask after grabbing your tray. There’s a bright look on your face at the excitement of seeing the man who impressed your previous Commander. He shakily nods and you smile in response. “Commander Ogata said a lot of things about you.”
Iharu lets out a polite chuckle. “All good things, I hope?” He gets a laugh out of you and you both fall into a comfortable conversation as you move down the line. Reno watches the door and he hopes the timing works out, or Plan B would have to be used. At least Iharu was having a good time.
It’s when the two of you reach the end of the line and walk towards Reno’s table does Hoshina appear from the doorway. The red-haired officer doesn’t see him yet and your conversation is at the point when you have a hand on his arm as you’re gushing over his newfound ability with his Kaiju suit. He feels a strong hand clamp down on his shoulder and Iharu freezes, looking to his side to see his Vice-Commander.
“Vice–”
“Afternoon, Officer Furuhashi. Whatcha two talkin’ about?” By then your hand still hasn’t left his arm and he feels Hoshina’s grip get tighter. Iharu places his tray down onto the nearest table and your hand drops to your side but you didn’t notice.
“His new ability,” you answer, “we were talking about it earlier with the operations team, remember? I was just looking for you, Officer Furuhashi, I’m so glad I got to talk to you.” Your answer is so sincere and he feels like he could melt right then and there. But to the side of him, there was also a strange sensation in the air.
It was akin to bloodlust.
“The same here.” Iharu answers and bows, “Please, enjoy your lunchtime.” Before you can say anything more, he turns on his heel straight towards Reno with his head down.
The two sit there in silence as you look on in confusion before Hoshina pulls you along with him for his lunch. They aren’t looking at the two of you but Reno already got what he needed.
–
Vice-Commander Hoshina almost broke Furuhashi’s shoulder. I saw he also had one of his blades behind him while they were all talking. - Reno
WHAT?? - Iharu
By the way, what was plan B? - Kikoru
Iharu asks her directly if she’s dating the Vice-Commander. - Reno
HELLO?? - Iharu
Hi. - Kafka
–
Kafka knew he was going to be the last of the bunch to get this done. The digital community board on their group chat was a smart idea by Minase and he was able to see what the younger officers were trying to do with this mission.
Kikoru and her friends got the first response but it needed more. Reno and Iharu got the “more” and all-in-all needed one final piece to set the puzzle. Kafka was proud of them but was currently in a situation with absolutely no idea as to what he was going to do. He thought that was more than enough to assume there was a relationship between the two of you, but Kikoru kicked him for that, too.
Was there any way to get you to confess about it? He thought about asking you directly but even though you were younger than him, you still held a higher title. And he didn’t want to face the potential wrath you could unleash for asking such a question. Were you the type to dish out punishments like the Vice-Commander? Again, he didn’t want to risk it.
He had to do it soon too, you and your division were leaving in the morning and it would be another month or so before you and Hoshina would be seen in the same vicinity.
Kafka sighs and runs a hand through his hair. This was troublesome but they were counting on him.
He looks around the library he’s doing his nightly study session and sees that the time is very close to midnight. He’s shocked and now there’s absolutely no way he’s going to catch you at this hour, not unless you were training anyway. His best bet was to find you early in the morning but even that was a bit of a gamble.
Deciding on his defeat, Kafka puts his books and pens away before heading out into the hallway back to his room. He gets a sense of deja vu when he sees the light of the training room still on and assumes it’s the Vice-Commander again, and it wouldn’t hurt to watch him in action, right?
He walks up to the slightly open door and stops in his tracks at the sight. Both you and Hoshina were holding blades. Your’s were slightly longer and his were the typical ones he used during outside missions. Needless to say, they were the real deal.
In the blink of an eye, you’re lunging towards each other and Kafka thinks if he blinks even once, he’d miss about five slashes shared between you two. Following Hoshina alone was already too much but watching someone match his speed? It was out of this world.
The match only lasts for about half a minute ending with a knife to both of your throats from the other. A moment of heavy breathing follows before you groan and toss your head back in exasperation, both of you simultaneously lowering your weapons.
“I still can’t get that last one right!”
“It was close! And hey, ya got the blade to my neck.”
“I always get the blade to your neck.” You roll your eyes. Hoshina was the best swordsman there was and it was incomparable to your personal weapon, so of course he would be better than you at it. ‘Whatever, I’m heading to bed.” Hoshina lets out a laugh. You put away the practice weapons and as you head to the door, Hoshina pulls you back to him by your wrist.
“Wait a second,” he says and leans his head down to yours.
Kafka, in the meantime, ducked his head to avoid being seen at least a little longer knowing he was not running away to hide in time. There aren't any more words being exchanged and he thinks there’s something else going on in that small bit of silence.
He pops his head up and makes eye contact with Hoshina’s open eye.
–
Got pushups. - Kafka
Damn. Sorry old man. - Iharu
So you got caught? Amateur. - Kikoru
Leave me alone! I tried. - Kafka
So you really didn’t see anything? - Reno
Oh, yeah. They kissed. - Kafka
…
What? - Kikoru
I got caught by the Vice-Commander during it. :(- Kafka
…
HUH?? - Kikoru
–
Bonus:
After Kafka leaves, his head hung low at the premonition of more punishment, your arms stay on Hoshina’s shoulders.
“Did you have to do that?” You muse, playing with the shorter hairs near the nape of his neck. He shivers at the feeling but his eyes open slightly and they’re not looking at you so softly.
“Did ya have to talk about him before training?” He counters back. He knows what you’ve been doing. You scoff.
You also know what he’s been doing. The murderous intention at the mention of you and Gen, the physical warning during lunch at Iharu, and even a mark of possession to the poor older man who was just joining in the fun of his peers.
“Of course,” you bring him down to you, your lips brushing against the shell of his ear. You feel his hands tighten on your waist.
description: a starter set of fics starring our favorite third division vice-captain hoshina soshiro.
author's note: individual posting dates pending. first fic should be up on june 17th.
second best
pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader
genre: slight angst, comfort, childhood friends to lovers
snippet: hoshina soshiro always ranks second at everything in his life. god forbid he falls behind in the bid for your heart too.
another love
pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader
genre: angst
snippet: in which hoshina soshiro finds out just how many times a heart can break.
tear in my heart
pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader (feat. narumi gen)
genre: fluff
snippet: he is the third division's vice-captain. you are a platoon leader from the first division. romeo meets juliet - trouble ensues.
(i am working on other fics that are not in the kn8 universe but this should be it for now. if you have a prompt you want me to write about, feel free to let me know by sending me an ask!)
contents. fluff, established relationships, sleepy n cuddly toru :(, just needed to write this to cope with the 236 manga leaks i guess. i just love him tons sobs i need him happy and loved and peaceful
“hey,” you poke satoru’s chest, hearing a low groan rumble under your cheek, “toru?”
“hmm?” oh. he sounds a little tired—maybe you should let him sleep.
“you awake?” you ask anyway.
“am now,” he mumbles—well, he’s already awake, so you might as well indulge in it now. “need somethin’, sweetheart?”
“jus’ missed you is all,” you pout—that makes him grin despite the way he yawns, all wide and smooth even as he fights the sleep in his eyes. you feel just a bit guilty, reaching to cup his cheek and running a thumb over his eyelid carefully.
“yeah?” he chuckles quietly, “‘m right here. you still miss me?”
“yeah,” you whisper, “always miss you. even when you’re right here.”
satoru’s grinning into your cheek as he leans down and presses a wet kiss to the skin—he can’t possibly be mad that you’ve woken him so late. he can’t be mad when it’s you, and it’s him, and it’s each other.
sleep can wait, there’s always time for that later. but there’s never a moment where he wants to risk counting on later when it comes to you.
“what’d you miss about me?” he hums, nibbling on your earlobe as his head buries into your neck. you shift, letting his body tuck against yours as your arms wrap around him—he feels safe like this, somehow. infinity doesn’t make him feel nearly as secure as the way your arms do, tight and warm and made just for holding him.
“dunno,” you murmur, “everything.”
“love me that much?” he asks cheekily, “me sleeping right beside you isn’t enough?”
“no,” you huff, “you can’t pay attention to me in your sleep.”
“my needy baby,” he snickers, rubbing circles into the small of your back with his large palm. he’s warm against you—you can feel the rhythm of his heart as it beats against your body. he’s pressed so close to you, that not even air can slip through the cracks.
truthfully, you don’t know why you wake satoru. you don’t know why you can’t sleep—you just know that you need him. here. now. always. forever. more and more and more and even more.
“toru?” you ask quietly, making him hum as his eyes droop back shut slowly—he must really be tired.
you stare at him fondly, stroking his hair as he sighs happily at the feeling. and then you press a kiss to his forehead, to his cheek, to the corner of his eyes where they crinkle when he smiles, and to those lips of his that always find yours no matter how long it takes.
he always comes back to you. always. he never won’t—that much you trust.
“got somethin’ on your mind, baby?” he asks slowly, voice thick with sleep. you giggle, scratching at his scalp as he smiles lightly.
he dozing off—you watch him, hopelessly endeared.
“i love you,” you whisper, “need you to know that. love you so, so much. kay?”
he cracks an eye open—stares at you like you’re the reason his heart ever started beating, like you’re the only one that could ever command it to stop. every inch of his face is laced with love so gentle, you can see the way it makes his skin glow.
you love him. you’re sure he loves you. that’s all you need to know it’ll be fine. everything else is an afterthought—just as long as you have satoru.
“woke me just to confess your love for me?” he gasps, “you’re down bad. real, real bad. i must be a super handsome, totally awesome boyfriend. i do try,” he says cheekily.
you giggle, rolling your eyes as you pinch his cheek.
“be humble, you jerk,” you say exasperatedly.
it sounds more like you’re in love. too much fondness slipping into your voice that it might make your teeth hurt from how sweet. satoru’s always had a sweet tooth, though—he accepts your love graciously, like it’s never too much.
if fact, it might just not be enough. he needs more, more, more.
“can’t,” he says slowly, yawning again, “you waking me up just to love me is a bit ego boosting.”
“this was a mistake,” you scoff—its playful, it’s fond. it sounds like deeply falling headfirst.
“aw c’mon,” he pouts—and then he’s brushing his lips against your neck a he clings closer to you, curling into your body with his six-foot-something stature as you pull the blanket tighter around him, “love you too. what was it you said again? oh, right—so, so much.”
“good,” you hum, nodding in satisfaction. “you better.”
“i do,” he chuckles, “can i sleep now? or are we gonna start talking about all the things we love about each other? cause i can stay up to listen to that, of course.”
“go to sleep, you idiot,” you scoff.
he grins. you press one last kiss to his forehead as you count the soft breaths he takes while he falls back asleep.
you love him—it’s all you ever want to do.
i cried while writing this and i cried thinking about the leaks and i cried while reading the leaks and i cried and cried and i’m tired of crying. gege when i catch you gege 🔫
« i will continue to love you in every timeline. »
SUKUNA SAVING YOUR LIFE
synopsis: this is based on this random thought.
a/n: this was way harder than i thought it'd be. and it took so much longer than i planned. (i even worked on it during my lectures i just couldn't get it OUT OF MY MIND). anyway, i hope you enjoy it!!!
the curse had come out of nowhere.
you'd been celebrating your victory of successfully eliminating the threat of the grade one curse with your classmates, when all of a sudden, an overwhelming surge of energy knocked the four of you to the ground.
it didn't take long for you to find yourself trapped in the special curse's domain, unable to move due to the sheer pressure of its presence. and it took even less for the three of you to become on the verge of exhaustion, able to barely fight by just for your survival.
"(y/n)! fall back!" you can barely make out megumi's urgent voice before the attack is sent your way, hitting you square in the spine.
the breath is knocked out of your lungs, your mouth opening in a silent scream. unbearable heat and discomfort surges through your bones, incapacitating you.
your hands are trembling, your vision is blurry. around you, the whole world is muffled, like a pillow settling over your five senses. the world is tinted red, and oh? was that a pool of blood increasing in volume with each passing moment?
you struggle to stand up, using whatever strength in your hands to raise yourself up, to keep fighting. if you fall that means you had failed your friends. nobara was already lying unconscious, yuuji and megumi ganging up against the special grade curse.
with shaking legs, you struggle to stand, to balance yourself. but you finally raise your head, bringing your crossed fingers in front of your temple, gathering all your strength into this finally attack.
you accumulate enough cursed energy, feeling your whole body draining, until all at once you release it, and it unleashes stronger than any attack you had ever made.
you were sure, this would hurt the curse badly, enough to create an opening for your friends to finish it off. you and the boys watch it as it finally reaches the curse, the force wave washing over it, you can see yuuji gathering his black flash, ready to take it down—
the curse stands still as the attack washes over it, it sets aflame, and you hear its terrible pained screeches. relief washes over you, the ghost of a smile making its way into your face.
until the flames die out all at once, and the curse slowly, almost comically, turns around. it's previous mocking face was all but gone now. replaced by an ugly frown, it looks angry. and it was looking straight at you.
your eyes widen, hands shaking in disbelief. you can't control the exhaustion as the aftermath washes over you, can't control your trembling lips as you finally collapse.
and then the fear, because you know it's making its way towards you, you know megumi and yuuji won't have time to hold it back. and you really don't want to die, not this soon. you have to move out of its way, but you're on your knees, watching helplessly as it dashes towards you.
unbeknownst to you, at that same moment, excruciating pain surges through yuuji's head. his hands fly up to clutch at his temples as he doubles over.
"get yourself together, we have to help (y/n)!" megumi yells but he knows it's no use, the curse had already crossed half the distance, it was going to get her, and only yuuji's supernatural strength is on par with its own, but he was busy having a migraine—
"he wants to come out!" yuuji finally yells, and in the next instant the all-familiar black tattoos slowly appear on his skin.
he begins growing in size as sukuna takes over his body. megumi couldnt believe his eyes. he had to help (y/n), why the hell did sukuna make an appearance at a time like this? he grits his teeth, taking his defensive stance, but sukuna doesn’t even glance at him.
he dashes towards (y/n), and megumi would have never believed it had he not seen it with his own eyes, but he stands between (y/n) and the curse.
with one swish of his claws the special curse they had almost been killed by is split in half.
there's rage in sukuna's face, rage that freezes megumi on his spot. a manic glint in his eyes as he pounces on the curse and rips it to shreds, even when it is clearly dead.
and when he’s done with it, as he turns around and kneels before you, that rage is nowhere to be seen.
instead, you are sitting there on your knees as you watch it unfold, certain that once the king of curses turns around, you were the one about to be ripped into pieces.
instead he's kneeling in front of you, a conflicted, almost gentle look on his usually demonic features as his large hand reaches out to you, before he stops mid-way.
and you realize with a jolt, that the great curse before you is hesitating.
you feel your heart beating wildly against your chest. you are afraid, very much so. he was so big, so animalistic. with his outstretched claws, his four eyes and his sharp fangs when he opened his mouth only to close it again.
suddenly you feel the tears running down your cheeks, and his eyes soften at the sight.
he isn't hesitant anymore when his hands, with the sheer strength you knew he possessed, wipe away at your tears so gently, so softly, cradling your face as if you were made of glass.
and when he leans in, pressing his lips to your forehead, you refuse to believe this is reality.
when he pulls away, its yuuji facing you with an incredulous look on his face. and you realize with another jolt, that with his kiss, sukuna had healed all your wounds.
you're left speechless, staring into the eyes of your pink-haired friend as if he had suddenly grown another head. he looks back at you with the same look.
***
a week has passed.
you were growing impatient, but you were also scared.
impatient because yuuji was banned from seeing anyone after his latest 'slip-up'. scared because even though you wanted an explanation for what happened, you feared what it could mean.
however, you should've known better than to assume this presumed ban would last any longer. it took only for gojo-sensei to burst into your room for you to understand his intentions.
"wanna go see sukuna-kun?"
you flush at his insinuation. to be fair, you preferred these jabs to be directed in front of your face rather than behind it. it was what everyone was speaking about, anyways. how you had somehow seduced him.
jujutsu sorcerers were truly insane, in more ways than one.
but that was at the very back of your head. as you follow your very tall sensei through the hallways, you finally reach yuuji's room.
as soon as gojo slams open the door, yuuji jumps up from his bed.
"i swear i have him under control. he just went all crazy and started torturing me from the inside. he made a pact and he only wanted to save (y/n)—"
yuuji stops as soon as he spots you.
you pale. so, it really was true. he didn't, say, hold a grudge against that particular curse, or he didn't feel bloodthirsty all of a sudden. no, but of course not, he had healed you after.
he had wiped away your fearful tears.
"yuuji-kun!" gojo-sensei suddenly exclaims. "do whatever (y/n) tells you to do." and with that, he leaves the both of you together, closing the door behind him with a slam.
"are you okay?" yuuji is the first one to break the silence.
you shake your head, "i am fine," you say lowly, "are you?" you ask him sincerely. this was, after all, the first time you'd seen each other after that dreadful mission.
he flashes you a wary smile, his hand flying to rub the back of his head. “well… ” he starts. “it’s been, strange.”
“what do you mean?”
yuuji’s face is serious when he replies. “he’s been awfully quiet.”
you don’t know how to react to that information, but you can’t help but look away.
you’re now both sitting on yuuji’s bed, knees almost touching. instinctively, you grab his hand with yours and squeeze it.
“that’s a good thing, no?”
“well, yes.” he turns to fully face you. “but he’s never this quiet. he’s always spouting insults and threats, this silence is…unnerving.”
you hum. “i see.” you nod, thinking of the best course of action. “i need to speak to him.”
the words surprised you as much as it surprised him.
“uh-oh, no well in hell.”
“you heard what gojo-sensei said, do whatever i say.”
“i am sure he didn’t mean letting out the king of curses.”
“i am sure that’s exactly what he meant.” and you were very sure. knowing your sensei, he must have known that this is eventual what you would want to do. which is exactly why he uttered that last command to yuuji.
yuuji thrashes around, muttering about how irresponsible and stupid you were being, you didn't disagree, but you stood your ground. with your arms crossed over your chest, your deadpan face finaly drives yuuji to agree.
"fine!" he finally concedes. "but you get ten seconds with him."
you laugh humorlessly, "two minutes."
"you're mad," yuuji shook his head. "i'll give you one minute, but the second i sense malicious intent i am switching."
you nod. "fair enough."
and as yuuji steps back and closes his eyes, you start to panic. what exaclty were you going to do once you face him???
you had no time to think as yuuji starts growing in size, the black tattoos appearing slowly on his skin.
and when narrowed, red eyes glare back at you, you take a deep, shaken breath.
he does nothing but stare at you. you don't miss the way his eyes scan your body, or how his displeased frown only seems to grow by the second. his overwhelming presence takes over your senses. an aura of destruction and death fills the room, and it becomes harder to see anything past the fear clouding your thoughts.
"what do you want, brat?"
somehow, hearing those words helps to calm your nerves. even if they were spoken with such disdain and displeasure. it was the indication you needed to be certain he wasn't going to attack you.
but deep down, you knew all along that he wouldn't hurt you. not really, anyway.
despite every fiber in your being telling you to take a step back, you take one step forward with shaky legs.
he seems taken aback, and if you weren't hyper aware of every slight movement he made, you would've missed the slight inhale of breath when you took another step forward.
"you have some nerve, to stand unarmed before me." he says sowly. "if this were anyone else—"
he realizes his mistake and stops. his jaw is harshly set, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. if this were anyone else.
"i know you." you finally say the words that have been plaguing you all week.
sukuna freezes. three, simple words rendering him in a state of disarray he hadn't experienced in hundreds of years. it was all he could to maintain the scowl on his face, the leer as he looked at this woman to whom he had given out his heart so, so, many years before.
he barely remembered her, and it made him all the more pissed. why would such a puny, tiny, (beautiful) creature make him, this confused? this obsessive, this protective?
he hadn't been able to stop thinking about you ever since he first saw you through the eyes of yuuji. something in him stirred, something he had long lost. but of course, he ignored the jabs he could feel every time you got yourself hurt. he didn't care. he never did.
so why had he gone feral when you had laid there, on the brink of death? the thought of losing you, of your death. it was suffocating, unbearable, he couldn't allow it. he didn't allow it. did he?
and this was why you were here, standing so close to him. loooking at him with those big (e/c) eyes that searched his for answers. you look so soft, so weak compared to his strength; he knew he could kill you with one swipe of his claws. the thought, however, didn't entice him one bit.
and then you spoke those words. i know you. and it was as if you had read him perfectly, saw right through him. understood exactly what was going on here.
"you know me too." it wasn't a question.
your voice was so low, so shaky, but not uncertain. you suddenly wanted to touch his rough skin with your own, to close the distance and feel him. how was it, that one felt affection for a monster?
"you need to stay away from me," he says, and your eyes find his. they were pained, but stern.
"why?"
"because i am a curse." he steps closer, and you realize with a jolt how close he was to you, how, if anyone of you takes one step closer, your chests would collide. "isn't that common knowledge for you troublesome sorcerers?"
and then his hands hover again, just like they did back then when he saved you. and even if he does hesitate like last time, this time, he continues. until his finger is on your face.
gently, slowly. one finger, and then the rest follow as he cradles your cheek.
the breath has long been knocked out of you. he towers over you and you're frozen. how can a beast such as him gaze at you with such longing?
"why do i know you?" you whisper, and he gently shakes his head.
the movement is slow as his eyes roam your face, until they finally settle on your lips. he slowly brings his thumb to brush over your lips.
your heart almost burst through your chest. your lips slightly part.
you can't move, not under his gaze. not when he was this big, this magnificent.
all too soon, he pulls away.
"never seek me out again." he says. you panic, hands reaching out to stop him as he steps away.
but you were too late, yuuji's confused face staring back you.
***
you toss and turn in your bed that night.
a simple moment you'd spent with him, and it had completely taken over your thoughts.
despite your better judgment, for the nth time that day, your fingers ghost over your lips.
you could still feel his touch, hot and hiding a secret you wished to unfold.
who were you to him in your past life? you shudder at the possibilities, at the truth you saw in his rough, yet sincere gaze.
eyes softening at the reminder, you hug your pillow tighter to your chest, as you let out a defeated sighed.
until they suddenly harden upon the following events.
somehow, the higher ups had gotten wind of the situation. you were summoned immediately after departing from yuuji's room.
"this is an unprecedent case," they had said.
"you do understand the importance of this task, don't you, (l/n)?"
"make sure to earn the affection of the king of curses, that way, we might finally be able to control him."
what did they expect you to do? you were barely able to get a minute to speak with him, let alone earn his affection. whatever that meant.
amidst your jumbled thoughts, a yawn makes its way to your mouth. you feel the fatigue washing over you. tapping on your phone screen, it lights up. 2:47, it says. you really should sleep.
but just as soon as you start closing your eyes, your phone starts buzzing non-stop.
annoyed, but more so alarmed, you quickly reach out for your phone. it was yuuji who was blowing up your phone.
pink-haired dork:
(Y/N)!!
he's killing me
he wants to see you
he's demanding to see you
(y/n) i want to see you too, something has happened i need to tell u.
don't come to my room we're both being watched.
(y/n) are u here??? wake up!!!!
you sit up straight, staring at the screen apprehensively. your fingers begin tapping away.
what do u mean we're being watched?? wth
your phone buzzes instantly.
pink haired dork:
megumi told me. he and nobara overheard a conversation earlier. we didn't understand what it meant but i think sukuna does.
he's been pestering me for hours but he just told me it means you're in danger
your confusion increases as you begin to reply.
and you believe him?
pink-haired dork:
i can't risk not to. if this true, (y/n), then we need to get you out of here.
before you can reply, your phone buzzes again.
meet me by the fountain in 15
climb out of the window.
DON'T USE THE DOOR
THEY'RE WATCHING IT
it wasn't that you didn't believe him, this was a hundred percent a scenario you should have seen coming. the higher ups would take advantage of any situation if it meant gaining an advantage over a curse. what you were doubtful again, was the sukuna part.
you don't think too much as you sneak out, not wanting to make yuuji wait out in the cold. you wear a jacket and rush out into the chilly night, being extra careful not to make any sound.
you spot him pacing back and forth besides the fountain. once he hears you coming, he lifts his head. the next moment he was dragging you by the wrist to a more scheduled spot in the garden.
"yuuji what—"
he shushes you, until you reach the location hidden by overgrown trees and vines. "we can't risk anyone seeing us together," yuuji says. "we can't anyone see you near him."
"i got that, but why? what happened?"
"by the ocean's might she was reaped. the devil's claw invincible after an era of peace. the skies welcomed his calamity. against the cruel sorcerers he swore his wrath. the world shall never again know peace shall she be reborn.''
the words were suddenly spoken from yuuji's cheek.
yuuji only nods. as if you were supposed to understand what that meant.
"what does that even mean?" you cross your arms over your chest. and when yuuji only looks as confused as you, you frown.
"this is what megumi and nobara overheard, and sukuna is saying—"
"so you don't know what it mean?"
"no. but he does."
"so tell him to explain!!"
"he won't, unless i let him out."
"let him out then!" you finally retort. you see yuuji falter, you understand his hesitance. but if sukuna wanted to hurt you, he would have already, wouldn't he?
"okey, okey. just be careful alright?" he sends you a stern look. all you could so is nod as you prepare yourself for another showdown with the king of curses.
and once he stands before you in all his glory, you realize this is a bit easier than last time. after all, he was the one who wanted to see you.
"i thought you said, 'never seek me out again'" you make a terrible impression of his previous order.
a big mistake.
you blink and you're pushed on the ground, his hand wrapped around your throat. he was only lightly squeezing, but with his intimidating form leering over you, his fangs barred inches away from your face, you can't help the fear that crawls into your senses.
"know your place, brat." he whispers into your ear. goosebumps erupt against your skin. you can't believe how fast he was, you didn't even see him coming.
you glare at him, trying to wiggle out, but he overpowered you compeltely.
"let me go," you meekly say, looking up into his eyes.
he had already been staring at you intensely, no, not you. your lips. you suck in a shaky breath. in this compromising position, it wasn't difficult to assume what he was thinking about.
"what are you doing?" your voice, barely a whisper.
and then his eyes look up at you, focused on you. "if you'll allow me, i'll make you remember."
you don't know how to answer because you don't understand what he's saying. you also can't form words, they stay, stuck in your throat. and he can see you’re confused, so he decides to show you what he meant.
he leans his whole body in. his breath fans your face. his presence consumes you, he was everywhere. you couldn’t nt ignore it even if you wanted, how his lips were grazing yours, how you knew if you didnt stop this—
you turn your face away. "no!"
"you don't really have a choice, sweetheart."
and you really don't know what he's going to do to you. and you're really scared. and you're trapped, and helpless. and you're wondering why yuuji isn't switching back. you can only close your eyes and await what's to come.
you were expecting a lot of things, but sukuna gently kissing you wasn't one of them.
his rough lips move against yours. a small peck, at first, as if testing, and when you relax into his touch, (a rush of warmth curses through you, as if this is exactly where you need to be), he molds his lips on yours. his hands that had left your neck land softly on your cheeks, in your hair.
and when his gentle ministrations continue, you finally understand what he meant.
you think he had imbued some cursed energy into the kiss, because suddenly the memories come crashing on you.
you see yourself, but not quite you, loving him. not his human form, no. you had loved him as a curse. you see yourself living with him, chastising him against hurting humans. and he listens. for a decade you lived together.
until he had gotten you pregnant. and that's when the jujutsu sorceress of that era had come together. they had ignored your dallying with the curse because it had benefitted them. the biggest threat to them had been tamed by you, after all.
by when they heard news of your condition it was decided. you could not bring his child into the world. a hybrid, an abnormality. they couldn't risk this unpreceded situation from unfolding.
and so they drowned you when sukuna was away, with your unborn child. sukuna came back to find your body floating lifeless ashore. and the sorceress ambushed him then.
in his grief he was overpowered, and despite killing every last one of them, he was still sealed away.
when the vision stop and you're back to reality, you come face to face with a sukuna watching you intently, with concern flashing on his face.
tears were streaming down your face.
"the world shall never again know peace shall she be reborn.'' he whispers. "a mother's wrath born and unseen, awaiting endless moon cycles to be unleashed."
"that's the rest of the prophecy." he pulls away completely, leaving you lying there, consumed by an overwhelming feeling of grief. "they believe you will avenge what happened once i restore your memories, this is why they're discussing what to do with you."
sukuna might have pulled away, doing nothing but staring as your tears fell, but it was taking him everything not to wrap his arms around you, to comfort you and tell you he'll never let those bastards touch you. never again.
and then you sit up and look at him, with those big eyes he had once worshipped. you don't say anything, processing what he had just told you.
the elders want you dead because of a baseless 'prophecy'? how absurd. how utterly foolish.
but you can't help but be scared. they had killed you once. or, even if that wasn't really you, it certainly felt like it. you rub your shoulders, trembling and whimpering.
and then sukuna can't hold back anymore. he makes his way to you, and takes both your hands with his. he squeezes tightly, tighter than he intended.
"no one will hurt you again, or i'll kill them." he says, and watches as your eyes widen, as the tension in your shoulders dissipates, even if by just a little.
because you know. you can feel the truth in his world. he was't going to let anyone harm you ever again. and you weren't sure if that thought ought to comfort you or scare you to the bone.
a/n: i might do a part 2??? there’s just so much sexual tension between them that deserves to be….written about XD
taglist: (everyone who liked/reblogged the prompt) (the ones i could tag anyway) (faceless blogs ignored)
notes: something that popped up in my head that idk if i wanna continue, there’s just something about the itoshi brothers & angst that i love <3
summary: you & sae had something special, until he forcibly cuts it off. and now rin has you in his sights—but things get complicated when sae comes back for you.
sae has perfect timing, popping up in rin’s head right now.
“look at me.”
itoshi rin knows what he himself is, what he himself is capable of. no one has done a more thorough assessment of him more than himself.
your cheeks between his fingers, head tilted up to look him in the eye—forcibly—as your back arches instinctively towards his body.
this doesn’t hurt you, because rin would never harm you in that way. he adores you way too much to do that. his devotion to you is second to none—if he had to give up his career to keep you, he’d do just that.
“look at me,” he repeats again, even though you’re already locked in a gaze. he’s aware of how cruel he’s being if he continues what he’s about to say, but he can’t help it.
sae has perfect timing.
“tell me who you want.”
itoshi rin is looking down at his entire world, and the uncertainty in your eyes is scaring him. and he’s not an easily fearful man, if anything, he expects to be feared, not the opposite.
yet you can turn the tables on him in an instant.
you haven’t said a single thing, and he’s beginning to think he doesn’t want you to, even if he was the one who asked the question. hypocrite. but given your past relationship with his older brother, you’d forgive his crudeness, right?
the both of you have spent the past year fooling around, playing house, acting like all of this is normal when you aren’t even together. he hasn’t even had you yet, because he doesn’t want to be the replacement.
itoshi rin wants to be yours, but only if you want him to be.
he’s aware of the tumultuous romance between you and sae in the past. you described it as passionate, uplifting, like a hug you never knew you needed.
if you still want sae, he won’t stand in your way. his own feelings won’t allow him to be anywhere near either of you, so he’ll have to force you to cut ties with him. but that’s fine—because there’s no way in hell his brother won’t take you back.
you’re too perfect. you’re the only one. for rin, maybe for sae.
the mattress shifts as you adjust yourself, and rin lets go of your cheeks, his knees on either of your sides falling weak, and his forehead leaning down against yours.
your soft, gentle hands caress his cheek and he could cry right now. but he won’t. he’s good at suppressing feelings like that. like he’s done when he first saw you kissing sae on his front door. like he’s done when he saw sae smiling so widely because of a girl. like he’s done when sae just left for europe to play in a club and forced you to move on with your own life without giving you a chance. like he’s done up until now, when he can’t take it anymore.
when he wants you. all of you.
“rin,” you call out to him, and only now does he realize he’s been having his eyes closed.
when he opens them, he’s greeted by a warm pair staring back at him lovingly—what’s behind that fondness? platonic love? or is it something promising?
a kiss planted on his lips—soft, loving, kind. it’s everything you are, everything he loves. and just when he’s about to hear the answer he’s been craving for all this time, sae has perfect timing.
“what’s this?”
sae has perfect timing—to run into a scene like this at your house. to run into his brother on your bed. and where sae thought that now he’d already conquered the world, he finds it crashing to his feet, landing mercilessly at the hands of his younger brother.
in which: rin is a lot cuddlier asleep than you expected... or so you think.
warnings: 1k+ words, bed sharing!!!, fluff, ooc!rin but u can't fault me for this bc it's christmas, gn!reader, clingy!rin,
a/n: fourth day of xmas! don't think too hard abt how realistic this is. hope u enjoy :p
˗ˏˋ XMAS MASTERLIST ´ˎ˗
Your reflection is unforgiving and self-scrutiny bares into your soul. Trying to will yourself into not existing was proving very difficult because as you stare at your reflection in the fogged-up hotel bathroom, you fear your impending fate.
You were sharing a bed with Itoshi Rin. Is crying an appropriate reaction to the news?
It started the moment when you and Rin arrived at the (luxurious) hotel where the Blue Lock players were staying. As their manager, you normally have a room to yourself, as well as the coach. Upon arrival, you find that at this hotel, that is not the case.
Apparently Karasu had caught a cold and didn’t want to run the risk of spreading it, so he would be alone in a hotel room and taking appropriate health measures. Somehow, with the logistics being figured out by the members who arrived first, you ended up rooming with Itoshi Rin.
The second that you put the pieces together in your head, you felt your stomach drop. The bright, pretty, Christmas decorations that donned the hotel, or its welcoming warmth that defrosted your icy skin, were all not enough to distract you from this catastrophic feeling. Your insides turn with anxiety and it’s hard to look Rin in the eye.
To be fair, it was always hard to look him in the eye. He was too damn beautiful.
Was it appropriate? Sure. Was it good for your health? Absolutely not.
You were going to have heart contractions in the middle of the night from how it races when around the star player.
Fuck, how were you going to last this rooming situation.
Even being in his presence is intimidating. You feel as though you don’t belong there and need to tiptoe around him like a ghost, invisible and untroublesome. So, after your shower, you stare at yourself in defeat before brushing your teeth and doing your night routine as quietly as possible. You hold your breath when putting down your skincare products, place your towel on the rack with gentle hands, and put on your clothes whilst grabbing onto the counter for dear life.
Lest you disturb him.
When you emerge from the bathroom, Rin is already out cold, his figure buried under the sheets on his side of the bed whilst the only light that illuminated the room was yours.
A mixture of relief and insecurity dwells within you. You couldn’t tell whether to be glad that he was at least asleep so this encounter could be less awkward, or to be offended that he just didn’t want to be conscious beside you.
Fair enough.
Soon enough, you slip under the covers and turn off the lights, with as little noise as possible as to not disturb his sleep.
The night has been smoother than you thought it would go, but morning would have to be the real test- what time does Itoshi Rin even wake up? 6? You’d be able to avoid him then. Besides, you could just cling to Bachira for backup, and hide behind Kunigami, which he probably would allow you to do without any question.
The rampant running of your mind eventually pins you down with drowsiness and fatigue. You’re just about to doze off when a firm arm locks around your waist.
Nevermind, you were wide awake again.
The heat of Rin’s body seeps into your back and your heart rate might wake the footballer because of how loud it is. He’s holding you a little too tightly for comfort, his grip strong and unmovable- you’re struggling to breathe, just a little bit.
“Rin?” You whisper, not daring to turn around. “Are you awake?”
No response.
A huff escapes your lips and you find yourself carefully lifting his arm and placing it back at his own side. Then, you shift a little away from him in the tiny space you have, moving onto your back whilst being considerate that the dark-haired might not enjoy waking up with his face pressed into you.
This was doable- you’re about to fall of the bed, but this was doable.
More tranquil moments pass by and once again, you’re about to drift off into dreamland when another heavy arm flops around your middle again. This time, Rin curls himself into you, pulling you into his larger frame as his chin comes to rest on your shoulder. As you gaze down at him, you realise that your faces are dangerously close, so close that his breath fans gently over your lips.
With the aid of the moonlight slipping through the crack in the curtains, you can somewhat see his peaceful expression. His lashes gently kiss his cheeks and his lips are slightly parted, creating an image of innocence around him.
Impulsively, you run a hand through his hair, noting its softness and how it shines when light bounces on it.
You swear you hear his breath hitch.
“Rin? Are you okay?” You question into the quiet of the dark but not a peek of noise escapes him, no indication that he’s alive apart from his steady breaths, warmth, and the grip he has around your waist.
You shift awkwardly on the bed, once again plucking his arm off of you and putting it back by his side. Sitting up slowly, you gaze over at the other end of the bed and gawk at how much space rin has for himself. This little not really motherfucker.
With a huff, you lift the covers off you, placing it properly back on the bed, before rounding around to relax on the larger side of the bed. It’s cold, unwarmed because of how Rin has opted to violate your personal space instead, but there’s enough room for you to breathe and dream of a situation that’s not your own.
Not so fast - you wince a little when you feel a hand blindly searching for you, patting the mattress with an annunciated thud every time before landing on your arm.
This man. There’s no way he’s still asleep. His small snores and heavy breathes say otherwise.
Before you can even think about what to do next, the hand curls around your bicep and pulls Rin to you and you to Rin. His muscular body is pressed against your own once more. Seriously, who is this man? Does Rin do this with every bed mate he has? Is he actually sleeping through all this too? Just how powerful is this man’s subconscious?
Unexpectedly, he then throws his leg around yours and binds you even tighter to his chest. You feel like you’re going to faint- then you might actually catch some shut eye.
All consideration you had for Rin’s sake and your dignity evaporated when you realise just how warm he is and how comfortable it is to be in his embrace. Funny how those who don’t like hugs happen to be the ones who give the best.
So, muting the protests of your brain, you sink into your heart desires and melt into him, wrapping an arm around his torso, but not without punching him lightly.
That was your way of telling him he was a jerk. You hope he got the message in whatever dream he was conjuring.
What you don’t know is that he indeed, did get the message, just wide awake and smiling to himself in triumph when you finally relented.
notes alt title: naga rin supremacy master's thesis
WARNINGS oral (f rec), sacrilege (a little bit. for the imagery. for the desperation.), so so so much biting (it's him. it's me. it's needed.), a little bit of blood (because of the bites), he holds reader up against a wall, a fair amount of him wanting to eat you up (you're welcome <3), no pronouns for reader.
MINORS, AGELESS & BLANK BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. 18+ ONLY.
+
"rin, wait," you gasp, helpless to the way he shoves you up against the wall. you push at his chest, hands slipping over his sweat-soaked shirt. "wait a sec—"
"quit it," he rasps, mouthing at your neck. he nibbles at your bare skin as he forces your hands away, pinning them beside your head. you can't focus on the softness of him lacing his fingers with yours when his teeth are sharp, persistent, a heated ache lingering as he moves a breath away only to sink into you again. "you're getting in my way."
he'd been clawing at your body impatiently on the ride up here, but you thought he had enough self-control to get to the bedroom where it's comfortable—
but he's just won the cup final.
it was a grand affair: a five-nil win where he scored a hat trick, where he was named man of the match, where he got to kiss a shining trophy and prove to the world that he's an unparalleled striker. the adrenaline still races through his veins, bold, fiery, and he can't stop leaning into you, moulding you under the heavy weight of him.
tonight, he's a winner, taking home all the glory, taking all that he can get his greedy, greedy hands on.
"bedroom—" you try to get out, but it spirals into a pained moan when he digs his teeth into you, canines cutting into your marrow, so you're messed and jagged and incomplete without him. you think his fervour has you bleeding for him and he licks your wounds like an addict.
"can't—" he grits out. "can't wait. can't get enough of you."
he nips along the delicate slant of your neck where your body yields to his without fight. you whimper his name and he delights. you squirm beneath him and he growls, hooking your flesh between pinched teeth. you bleed for him and he follows with his tongue, eagerly drinking it all up.
"gotta have you," he grunts, pulling away from your aching neck. cold air stings the bites, making you cry out for him. he distracts you from the pain easily, reeling you into a bruising kiss. "now," he pants before diving in again, mouth overbearing, teeth all-consuming.
his tongue lashes against yours wickedly; there's no method to his madness, just the irresistible taste of his spit and your blood swallowed in an unholy union. he speaks in half-thoughts and shredded moans and hasty hands that yank your pants down. and you hang onto his words like they're godsent — the swift, "want a taste," the desperate, "need you in my mouth now," the promised, "gonna fucking eat you."
and maybe that's what they are — divine revelations — because he kneels before you like the messenger of all blessings, hands clasped around your legs so you depend solely on him, nails delving into the pliancy of your thighs, so you follow no one but him.
"don't move," he commands, voice low, husky.
it'd be blasphemous to do otherwise.
his mouth fleshes out holy scripture in your body; indents and saliva and the faintest traces of your blood smeared across your inner thigh all tell the tale of his near-godly desire to have you falling apart for him. "fuck, i'm gonna— mark you up. all mine. take it all—"
but then his tongue snakes further up and the coil in your stomach pulls painfully taut. he's so wet, so warm, guzzling your sin like a false prophet, high on the ecstasy of lust.
"give it to me," he demands, urging your hips forward, opening his mouth wide to devour you.
it's messy. slick sounds form a hymn as he drags his tongue across the length of your slit. a guttural moan escapes him, cutting through the lewd slurps and it has your knees buckling, more than ready to serve him in any way he wants, sinner or saint or starver.
"it's not enough. need more. more. not fucking—" he growls, squeezing the fat of your thighs. his words are scorching, making you leak right into his mouth. there's no time to be embarrassed when the edges of his lips crook upwards, a dirty smirk wet with your purity. "there it is. that's it," he goads, wrapping his lips around your clit to coax more arousal out of you. he hums around the bud and you slide down the wall, grasping at his hair for some kind of stability. he doesn't even feel how hard you're yanking the strands, numb to everything but the weight of you on his face. "don't stop," he insists. "give me more, give me everything."
your thighs are screaming in protest and he must feel their trembling because in the next moment, he's hauling your legs over his shoulders, folding his arms over the tops so he can squeeze his hands at your apex.
"wanna feel you. around… need you—" you don't know what he's saying. you don't even think he's speaking to you, talking right into your cunt, instead.
you feel weightless, breathless.
then he uses his thumbs to spread your folds, sinking his tongue into your dripping hole, and suddenly everything is too much.
your words slur together. you're sobbing his name and cursing through gritted teeth and praying for your release to come soon. "oh, god— please, rin, please. i can't— can't— rin!"
his drool soaks the bottom of his face and it sticks to the wetness on your lower half; his thumb circles your swollen clit in time with the flicks of his tongue; it isn't longer until that coil finally snaps and you cum with a loud cry of his name.
and he's there — devotee, degenerate, desperate — sticking his tongue out to drink whatever you give him. he's greedy, selfish. he's been hungry his entire life, looking for something to swallow, to make him feel whole.
and you're sweet to him, he realises, laving over the cream that wets the crease of your thigh. you feed him something he never knew he was thirsty for.
but an addict doesn't stop after one high.
"again."
a winner is never satisfied with just one trophy.
"give me more. i need more."
and a man with a hole inside of him can't rest until he's found something to fill it up with.
"gonna take everything you have. 'til there's nothing left. can't stop— won't stop. gotta devour you."
“rin?” you call from the bathroom. “are you ready? we’re leaving in ten minutes.”
“uh huh.”
you poke your head out of the bathroom to check on him. only to groan loudly when you see that he’s still standing in front of the tv in his boxers, his suit still laying on the bed behind him.
“why aren’t you dressed yet?” though your way of asking sounds more like a warning before you smack the back of his head. “we need to get there early for pictures, remember?”
he doesn’t answer you, looking over the top of your head and inhaling sharply when the goalkeeper on the screen just barely makes a save.
“rin.”
“just ten more minutes,” he begs. well, it doesn’t really sound like begging, because everyone knows itoshi rin does not beg, but it’s about as close as he’ll get.
“five minutes,” you offer.
“nine,” he bargains (with his life).
“five.”
“seven.”
“five.”
“okay fine, five.”
you repeatedly and aggressively check the time on your phone during those five minutes. he doesn’t shut off the tv when his five minutes are up. he’s aware that he’s pushing his luck (if the throbbing vein on your forehead is any indicator) but the game is just too close.
“i think it’ll be okay if we’re a little la—”
“you want to be late to your brother’s wedding?”
he clamps his mouth shut because, well, when you say it like that.
you pinch the bridge of your nose, muttering about how you should have just agreed to go out with the nice accountant your mother had wanted to set you up with.
okay, maybe he’s pushed his luck a little too far tonight. he’s about to shut of the tv and apologize when the team he’s silently rooting for makes a strong break for the net.
the striker makes it past two opposing players and is rearing back to kick—
you shut the tv off, tossing the remote onto the bed.
he snaps his gaze toward you. “hey! he was about to—”
you grab the waistband of his boxers and pull him toward you, a coy smile playing on your lips.
there are red flags going off in his mind, screaming that it’s a trap, but with your fingers trailing up his abdomen like that…
he rests his hands on your hips, pulling you closer so you’re pressed against him.
apology accepted.
you let him dip his head down to kiss you. his lips are just barely brushing yours when your hand disappears and you reach around him, grabbing and shoving the suit against the firm planes of his chest.
“if you get ready quick, maybe we can pick up where we left off after the ceremony,” you tease as he begrudgingly pulls on his trousers.
♱ warnings — sfw! no warnings, just some very confused boys ! / note. i am back w some more sfw hcs 4 these boys, these are half proofread so pls forgive me >.<
・✶ 。゚NAGI SEISHIRO
it’s steady, the rise and fall of nagi’s back as he naps — huge body dropped on top of yours as he nuzzles into your chest with his arms tight around your waist. your fingers are carding through the messy mop of snowy hair on his head and you know the moment you stop, he’ll wake up with a long, low whine as he tries to nudge you into continuing.
but you were feeling particularly restless and tracing your sleepy boyfriends pretty features wasn’t quite cutting it anymore. your movements on his scalp stop just as you clear your throat to speak, nudging him on top of you as you readjust yourself on the mattress.
“wake up, nagi seishiro.” you call, carefully neutral and you swear you feel nagi stiffen slightly on top of you despite the way his body moves drowsily. he doesn’t offer much, grumbles under his breath a scratchy “don’t wanna” before he’s squeezing his arms around you and he’s trying to push himself even closer, pressing himself into the crook of your neck with a sigh.
“hello? nagi seishiro?” he whines before he’s nuzzling closer, smearing his lips along your skin like it’ll ease whatever he’s done wrong but he still squeezes you just as tight — eyes still resting closed when he finally speaks.
“whaaaat? don’t be mad, please.. ‘m sleeping.” nagi hums despite how quiet his voice sounds, still laced with sleep before it’s followed by another wet kiss along the dip of your shoulder. “you can’t sneak attack me that’s no fair, angel. my guards down.. and y’re so warm.”
he’s so cute when he’s sleepy that you can’t help but let yourself hug him closer, giggling when he blindly reaches for your hand to try and place it on top of his head — wordlessly urging you to continue your earlier movements as he shakes it through his hair. “you’re such a baby, seishiro.”
“eh? but i thought you liked playin’ with my hair, feels soooo good~”
・✶ 。゚ITOSHI SAE
you were curious to how sae would react to this, you don’t think you’d ever used his full name and he was still a little hard to read at times despite how long you’d been together, his expression carefully neutral despite the thoughts going on in his head.
you wait for him to come home from training, his face nuzzled into his jacket as his gym bag rests across his chest — you don’t meet him in the hallway like you normally would and he notices that. so instead, he’s quick to meet you in the kitchen — sharp gaze cutting through you from the doorway.
“itoshi sae.” you huff as you keep your features trained on your phone infront of you, but a quick side eye towards your boyfriend lets you see the way one of sae’s brows raise at the sound of his full name coming from your lips. but it still draws his closer, although he remains wordless until he stands across from you.
you can’t help but turn to meet him, his presence always seemed to draw you in like that and you’re surprised at the way his fingers immediately come to rest underneath your chin — tilting your face up so he can meet your gaze.
the look sae gives you is sharp, concerned in a way that makes electricity shoot through your spine but his voice is soft when it sounds. “what is it?” he asks earnestly but it’s almost like he’s examining your features, fingers gently smoothing along your jawline like he’s soothing out whatever irritation he fears lies somewhere in your expression.
it’s too easy, the way you give into him and maybe it’s the look he’s giving you — a whisper of a frown resting on his features because he likes the way his given name sounds from your lips, so where is it? “welcome home, sae.” hearing him sigh at your next words and relax when your hands smooth up his chest.
“what was that about, hm? aren’t you gonna welcome me home?”
・✶ 。゚ITOSHI RIN
you’re both in the kitchen while rin mixes up his protein shake after his workout, sending you a gentle sort of look from across the room as you busy yourself with a few random things. the silence is comfortable, your playlist playing softly in the background but you’re swallowing down your own smile at the thought of what’s coming.
“can i help you, itoshi rin?” you drawl and you swear you watch him freeze at the name as his eyes widen, protein shake pausing in his hold before his lips are twisting into a subtle little, tight lipped pout.
“why’d you use that?” rin’s reply is fast, like a reflex before he’s turning away to pretend something on the counter is suddenly oh so interesting. he can’t deny the way he suddenly finds himself missing the dumb little nicknames youd always use for him, fuck— he’d even take just rin, even though he kind of likes rinny, not that he’d ever admit that. so instead he’ll tiptoe around the topic as best he can.
“what? your name?” you’re pretty sure you see a vein pop in rin’s forehead at that reply as he jolts, trying not to let you see the way you’re riling him up so easily. it’s charming how awkward he’s being, not wanting to openly ask you why you’re using that now but it’s obvious in the way he’s fiddling around with anything he can get his hands on.
“eh— no. tsk, you know what i mean.” if you were to look close enough you’d see the frown that’s placed itself on rin’s features as he casts you a few side glances — watching the way you move closer to him as he clears his throat.
“awww, do you miss me calling you rinny?” you giggle, tease as you latch yourself around his waist and rin‘s twisting away from you in the hopes you won’t see the pretty blush that’s blooming along his cheeks, his jaw clenched as he grumbles under his breath. but you still notice how he’s not even trying to get away from your touch as his pout muffles his next words — seemingly irritated but more flustered than anything.
“shutup, so what if do..”
・✶ 。゚BACHIRA MEGURU
you want to laugh at the way bachira’s got himself sprawled along the length of the couch, trying so hard to grab and pull you on top of him everytime you come within his reach. “babyyyyy, jus’ wanna cuddle a lil — swear i’ll let you go after, m’kay? come onnnn~” you know that’s a lie and if he actually succeeds in pulling you there, there’s no way you’ll leave.
he swipes at you again with a sly smirk when you turn away, urging you to smack playfully at his hand before a tight lipped pout accompanies the puppy dog eyes he sends you. “bachira meguru!” you swear he whines at that one, flopping down onto the cushions as he buries his face in the inside of his elbow.
“so meannn~ don’t be bad, i’ll get sad mhm.” you could roll your eyes at the whimpery, deliberately exaggerated tone bachira’s voice takes, but you can see the way he’s peeking out at you — trying so hard to stifle the smug look on his face when it makes you turn to him anyway.
“i’m almost done, just wait a little longer.” you try to reason with him, mirroring the pout on his lips as you cross your arms and look down at him. but he was never gonna be that easy to control, you knew him.
“call me baby again and i’ll wait, m’kay?” you can hear the way bachira’s smirking with his little request, making you sigh despite the way a grin tries to twitch at the corners of your lips. so you humour him because he’s always been convincing, amber gaze narrowed when he peaks out to look at you when you say almost done, baby in a sickly sweet little tone that drops your guard.
that’s when he grabs you, using his athletic instincts to quickly reach forward and pull you into him — laughing when you fall onto his chest with a huff and feel his arms wrap like a vice right around you so you stay there.
“nope, got you now.. mhm, no way you’re getting away ~”
・✶ 。゚MIKAGE REO
you meet reo in the hallway, like you always do after training with a little spring in your step but this time you stop just short of him, watch the way his brows furrow despite the way a smirk still rests on his lips. but he still reaches for you, breathing out a laugh as he slips off his shoes before resting down his gym bag.
“miss me, bunny?” his voice lulls to a tease as he takes a careful step into your space, his arm reaching out to bring you into his before you finally answer.
“mikage reo.” you try your best to sound carefully neutral but something aches when you watch the way reo’s smile seems to drop a little at the sides, you’ve never called him that afterall — it was just reo, maybe something sweeter, but he always thought everything that came from your lips was. so why now?
“huh? what’s that all about?” he mumbles when he pulls back to look at you — there’s a slight hesitation in his touch, his palm resting just above your waist as he tilts his head, raising a brow like a wordless little inquiry.
“hey.” there’s something heavy in reo’s tone this time as he looks over you, and you almost feel bad at the expression that lies behind the one he shows you. but he’s still gentle when he finally reaches for you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders before he’s pulling you against his chest — soothing, when his fingers trace the length of your spine, just incase.
“you’re not going anywhere.. right? so we’ve got all night, bunny. you wanna talk?” the way his voice wavers is enough to have your resolve breaking, sending him a sweet smile that makes him exhale a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding. but it’s fast when he leans into kiss you, pouring his relief into the way his lips move with yours before he speaks against you.
“wow you really got me. i won’t seek revenge if you make it up to me. yeah?”
✩ we were born in a box
✩ pro-player!rin, hurt with comfort, secret dating au
when rin first asks you to keep quiet about your relationship, you're too in love to care.
after all, many things weren't public: not the little smile he gives you when he walks into your apartment, not the way his lashes flutter in the morning sunlight, and definitely not his grunts when he pushes into you. these were sides of rin that were only reserved for you.
but the frustration builds, with every goal that rin scores, the more attention he gets, and the more faded into the background you are.
you stand in the audience, the crowd booming as the ball strains against the net where rin has just kicked it, your eyes trained on him. usually you would've cheered, but recently you've been feeling alone. and you know it's unfair, but he doesn't even look for you, completely focused on the field.
"did you see that?" you hear some guy talking to his partner next to you, voice laced with disbelief.
"fucking awesome," someone else says.
these are the moments rin lives for, you think. outplaying the opponent. making the goal in a way that doesn't allow any doubt about his skill. the set expression on his face tells you everything, that he's planned for this moment and this moment only, and it makes you sad that you've never once crossed his mind.
sometimes you watch rin's teammates run to their partners after winning a game. you try to imagine what rin would be like, if he were like that with you. would he be like bachira, who practically swings his partner over the railings? or isagi, who cups his partner's face between his hands and presses a sensual kiss to their lips?
you think harder, and the answer is probably neither.
which is how you end up standing at the gates of his apartment a few hours after his game ends, feeling apprehensive, when you know he'll return after doing his decompression, doing press, debriefing with his team.
rin's eyes change when he sees you.
"what are you doing here?" he asks, barely glancing at you, "i thought i told you always to wait for me inside."
in case someone sees us, is the unspoken part.
it made you feel special when he had given you the code to his apartment, bypassing all manners of security, having your name discreetly given to the concierge at the lobby. but all of that had been for his career, and his career only.
for rin, everything revolved around being the best at what he did. and you understood. but did you really hinder his career that much?
i don't want them to focus on something so trivial, he had told you once. you know he's talking about gossip, paparazzi, sensational headlines, not you, but you can't help but take it the wrong way. were you trivial to him?
"what are you so scared of, rin?" you ask him softly, your stance firm when he tries to redirect you past the unlocked gates.
he scowls, "what's gotten into you?"
"i don't know," you admit, not really knowing what you want to say, driven only by the feeling of loneliness in your chest, "what do you get out of this?"
the confusion flickers over his face for only a moment. always smart, he is.
"out of what? our relationship?" he retaliates, the way he says relationship making you flinch, even if his tone has barely changed.
you're scared to look at him, because you know what you're asking him to admit. i like you, he had said at the beginning of it all. his expression had been blank, but his eyes had an intensity that made you believe him. and you do.
but being head over heels in love with him as you are, thinking it'd be enough for everything... you hadn't been prepared. not for this kind of life with him.
"yeah," you mumble, quiet, "...i'm just tired of being your secret, rin."
he looks frustrated.
"you're not," he tells you, and once again you believe him, but it's just not enough. "what do you want me to do?"
you don't know. is there anything you could ask him to do? did you have the right to ask him to do everything he had already refused once to do?
you've had this conversation. once, twice. but rin's always been immovable, stubborn. and it's not like you didn't know that his career would always be his priority. so you had dropped it, thinking that you could move past it.
"nothing," you reply, voice shaking. you look down. you don't have the energy to do this a third time.
you sniffle, not yet crying. "i'm gonna go, okay?" you tell him, "it was a good game today."
he reaches out to you instinctively, long fingers circling your hand. he holds onto you for a moment, and you think for a second he'll say something. but he breaks eye contact first and lets you go.
"thanks," he says instead, "be careful on your way home."
you think that's your answer and tell him goodbye.
when you wake up the next morning, you feel completely disoriented. you think the noise you hear is your alarm clock, but you quickly realize that it's just your phone buzzing incessantly.
you sit up in bed, wondering if your eyes are deceiving you.
scrolling through the hundreds of messages in your inbox, scanning through most of the keyboard smashes, and seeing rin's name over and over again, brings you to rin's instagram.
your heart pounds as your eyes take in the picture. you've never seen it before, but you recognize the sprawl of your hair, the familiar crumple of rin's sheets around you.
he's in the frame too, his lips slightly parted at the top right, his exposed collarbone leaving nobody wondering what you two were doing. your face isn't shown, but a tap on the picture shows you that he's tagged your private instagram.
of course rin would post the raunchiest picture allowed to be posted to announce your relationship. of course he had to outdo all other relationship announcements. and of course he would do it at 2am, hours after you'd had your fight.
you can barely breathe when you scroll down to the caption.
Liked by sae_it and others
itoshi_rin love you.
your fingers shake as you swipe back to your home screen, to the rin's name on your favorites page, to call him. he answers on the third ring, his voice raspy.
"hey," he grunts, sounding like all those times you've woken up next to him, with his arm slung over your waist, his chin tucked over your form.
you snuggle into your blankets at the sound of his voice. "you have something to say to me, rin?" you tease.
"no," he says, always mean, and you imagine the slight slant of his frown. "i got practice soon. talk to you later, yeah?"
you're about to protest, but he cuts you off— "i love you."
you think he's about to hang up, but there's a moment of silence as he waits, vulnerable, for you to respond. you smile, thinking about rin holding his breath on the other end of the phone.