I found The Beef!
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@youdontknowglenncasper
I found The Beef!
But what should I do with all the savings? #socks #forchristmas
i decided to transcribe the entire 8 minute abs workout. enjoy.
Hey gang. Welcome to your eight-minute abs workout. Now, all the exercises are safe, effective, and fun. There’s gonna be nine movements with 45 seconds built into it. Alright, let’s get goin. The first exercise is going to be the basic crunch—hands behind the head and just crunch right up. My feet are on the ground. Remember the old-time sit-ups—you had to go all the way to the top? Not this time, gang. We’re gonna to save the back. It’s all you wanna do is curl up. Notice this—my lower back stays on the ground, my hands placed behind the ears, and I’m slowly just looking up toward the ceiling and curling up. That’s all we’re doing. Now you’re gonna feel this right in the rectus abdominis. Right here—this big chute right there. Ok? We’re not feeling this in the neck or in the lower back. Now, beginners, keep in mind—you don’t have to go all 45 seconds. Work yourself into this program. It’s a great program—you’re gonna feel good, you’re gonna look good. Nice and easy. That’s it. Alright, gang, five more seconds. And release. Now, right elbow goes behind the head, left leg coming in. This is working the obliques—those awful love handles. Remember those? Bring it in, and then all the way out. Now, again, my lower back stays on the ground so it’s safe and effective and I’m not yanking on the head. Very important that you’re gonna feel it right through here. There ya go. Boom, right there. That’s it. Nice and slow and controlled. Remember, each movement is 45 seconds—build yourself into it. That’s it. Here we go. Ten more seconds, gang. That’s it—couple more. One more and release. Now, other side. Left elbow behind the head and slowly bring it in and extend out. That’s it again—lower back’s on the ground, no stress on the lower back. I’m not yanking with the head. Very good. Lift your body up and over. Up and over. There ya go. That’s it. Right there—you’re working the right oblique. You can really feel these. That’s it. Keep it goin. Ten more seconds gang. Right there. How you guys doin—doin alright? And release. Ok, right from there, both legs up—what I want you to do is touch the bottom of the feet. Nice and easy. Now, notice I’m not going all the way to the top. I’m just basically bringing myself up—I’m curling myself up. Trying to touch the bottom of the feet, which is basically physically impossible. Nice and easy. We’re tryin to reach. That’s it. Legs are at 90 degrees so I’m not swinging the legs, just keeping constant. There ya go. 20 seconds. Firm up, guys. That’s it. You’re just reaching. Control with the abdominals—concentrate. Come on—give me five more seconds. Here we go. Four, three, two, release. Now, hands placed under the buttocks. Now just bring the knees into the chest so you’re just pulling back. Pull back. Notice I’m not rocking, I’m pulling. We’re not putting any pressure on the lower back. No stress on the neck. The lower back stays constant—you’re just pulling. This is the lower region of the abdominals. That’s it. Nice and easy. You’re just pulling back. You’re not rocking—keep that in control. It’s very important. No stress on the lower back. And pull. There ya go. Keep goin. Ten more seconds. That’s it. Squeeze and concentrate. Four, three, two, and one—OK. Legs go over to the left, right elbow behind the head, and basically just bring it up—you’re doing a side crunch. Put your left hand on your right side. This is for the right obliques. Nice and easy. Ok, notice I’m not yanking on the neck and the back is stabilized. I’m not jerking around—it’s a controlled movement. Concentrate. You wanna feel it right here. Squeeze. That’s it. Nice and easy and squeeze it up. Right there. Very good. Controlled movements. There ya go. Keep goin. Give me five more—five, four, three, two, and release. Ok, switch sides. Left elbow goes to the left—here we go, nice and easy. Now put your right hand on your left oblique. Leg slips to the right. Slowly bring it up. Again, you’re working the left oblique—right here. You can really feel these and concentrate—in controlled movements. I’m lifting up. Control with the abdominals, not the neck. The back is stabilized. That’s it. Nice and tight. Squeeze. Again, beginners, go at your own pace. That’s it, nice and easy. Squeeze and concentrate. You’re lifting up. Three, two, and one. Ok, now these are push throughs. Both hands placed right here and just push straight through. That’s it, just push. There ya go. Again, I’m curling the body up. My lower back is staying on the ground—no stress. Notice I’m looking up toward the ceiling, ok? My neck—it’s not down here—it’s up. You’re pushing out. You’re focusing right here—all the energy’s right here. Right there, squeeze it up. That’s it, come on, fifteen more seconds of this. Then we’ll go to the next movement. There ya go. Ten seconds. And push. Push. There ya go—concentrate. Three, two, one. Now, hands placed under the buttocks and bring the feet up towards the ceiling and push up. And push up. Ok, you’re working the lower region of the abdominals. And push—concentrate. That’s it. Push it towards the ceiling. You head stays on the ground, we don’t want any undue stress on the neck or the back. And push. There ya go. Notice my legs aren’t swinging. They’re pushing up. Up, there ya go. That’s it. Come on, gang, hang in there with me, let’s go. You’re having fun. These exercises are safe, effective, and they are fun—and they work. Couple more, here we go. Five more—five, four, thee, two, one and release. Now, hands behind the head—right elbow goes to the left knee, left elbow to the right—we’re gonna alternate legs, gang. We’re working those love handles. Come on, you’re almost done—hang in there. That’s it. Pull. That’s it, come on gang. Nice and easy—beginners, take your time—work into this. It’s a great program—it’s only eight minutes long, every day. That’s it. These work if you do em right. This will never hurt you. If you do this correctly—follow these exercises—they work. That’s it. Keep goin. Come on, gang. And squeeze. Squeeze. Here we go—couple more, couple more. And release. Now, hands placed on the abdominals—all I want you to do is curl up. I want you to really feel these—put your hands right there. You feel that? Boy, it feels good. It’s nice and tight. Hopefully you don’t have to dig too far, gang—at least not for long. And just curl up. Come on, gang, last thirty seconds—give it to me, let’s go. That’s it. Ten more seconds. And squeeze tight—concentrate right here—you’re gonna feel it right here. Not in the neck, not in the back, right in the abs. Ready, now hold it right there—hold it. Breathe. Breathe—you’re gonna do an isometric—you’re gonna hold it—and release. Whoow. You did a great job. I’ll see you in twenty-four hours. Phew. Very good, guys. Good job.
On my way back from New Orleans, a wild snorlax appeared.
M: kids can be so cruel. B: we can?!? thanks, mom!
my 18-year-old brother. oh how i miss that sweet, sweet summer sleep schedule.
dad move
i was cleaning up the living room and saw a goldfish cracker on the floor near where my twins usually eat snacks. rather than walk to the kitchen to throw it away, i just ate it. it was stale, but i saved like 20 steps.
FYI
Um...is that Bigfoot leaning over the balcony?
legally purchase our stock photography? who do you think we are--ask jeeves? just throw up the free download with the watermark. nobody will notice.
two of my high school acquaintances (green and red) tackling the tough issues.
went to the mavs game last night and sat across the aisle from derek holland. he obviously wanted to watch the game, but he took a few photos for people that noticed him (including my wife) and seemed like a nice guy.
after chris arnold did some on the court contest with dancing kids, he found holland and sat in the aisle for the better part of the third quarter. people were log jamming there, trying to get around him and arnold couldn't have cared less. he was just like, go around me, i'm not moving.
he must have been off duty because he bumped everyone down on derek's row and sat there the entire 4th quarter.
in conclusion, chris arnold is a total d bag.
being a dad means sometimes you gotta clean spit up off of a slinky.
found this on shutterstock. here were my search terms:
"skeeter from doug" "extra shitty" "messed up ear" "speech bubble" "leaking cloud" "colors don't necessarily have to stay within the lines" "useless in all situations" "1 minute or less drawings" "one eyebrow only" "extra double shitty" "neck is possibly a pedestal"
good to know.
NDS MOR YR 2000 SNL RFRNCS
since we have twins, i try to let my wife know when i am leaving work each day so she knows when to expect me home. yesterday she actually responded.