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[selenaakkerman-blog]

The Aurora. Part II: Lost Ties

"It's not the first time this happens, is it?"

Dr. Bryne had a grave look on her face as she was wrapping another layer of bandages over Maya's arms.

Reed was standing on the other side of the infirmary bed with his hands crossed to his chest, not taking his eyes off her.  It was almost as if he was trying to memorize the features of her face one last time. He knew she would be okay, but he didn't want to think what would have happened if he hadn't gone to check on her, if the reckon mission lasted one more day.

"No, it happened before" he replied with a hoarse voice. "But I had hoped it would never happen again"

"Her records don't mention anything about it"

"She doesn't want this to be in the records. Said it would look bad if the UN tried to recruit her. Not that it matters anymore..."

"You really think the UN would have turned her down for a mental health disorder? She was terrific at what she was doing; still is. Why would she resort to this, though?"

Reed clenched his jaw "I don't know but I bet it has to do with that Josiah guy. When I get my hands on him-"

"You don't know?" Emma interrupted. "He left for Atlas"

"What?! When were you planning on telling me this?"

He was looking straight at her with his piercing eyes. He could feel the anger rising to his face.

"Well... you didn't ask" the woman replied, unbiased by his reaction.

"I didn't-" he let out a sigh of defeat. "When did this happen? He was not on the list of those who signed up to leave for the Atlas colony"

"Shortly after the last shuttle returned, he took off in another one"

"And why did nobody stop him? He was not authorized to just take a shuttle and go. Was there no security around?"

He was on the edge of punching someone or something. The growing fury in his eyes made him look menacing. But Emma knew better and she continued to keep her calm in the face of his visible unrest.

"Two guards were found unconscious on the floor in front of the hangar bay. There were hardly any people around, they were checking on the shuttles that had returned. Nobody saw him leave until it was too late."

"I need to speak to Alric about this"

"There's nothing he could have done, Reed"

"We'll see about that"

He stormed out of the infirmary with his fists clenched. His blood was boiling and his footsteps were thumping heavy on the metal corridors to the main deck. People were scurrying back an forth from one terminal to another, looking in their data pads, carrying tools and gadgets of all sorts, flocking in small groups and exchanging terms he didn't understand. He went straight for the Colonel's office.

A guard stopped him in front of the door "Sir, you can't go in. The Colonel's busy"

"I don't care what he is, I need to speak with him right no-"

"Is there a problem here, cadet?"

The colonel was sitting in front of the door that just opened behind the guard. "You!" Reed thundered. "I will make alien poop out of you!"

"How about you come in?"

Colonel Alric van der Heuvel was a tall, lean young man. It was unusual for someone like him, with hardly any military history or training, to become colonel but he made himself stand out in the crowd during the expedition applications with his clever thinking. He was calculated and calm, showing determination and an exceptional ability to make unbiased judgements. It was clear that the expedition needed someone like him and he was among the first civilians to undertake the rigorous military training on board the Aurora.

He kept his calm as he offered Reed a drink, paying no mind to the Major's obvious anger; he did have the tendency to quickly lose his temper.

"Now" he said, sitting at his desk. "You were saying something about alien poop?"

Reed drank the contents of his whiskey glass in one shot and slammed it on Alric's desk. "How could you let an unauthorized person take off like that without notifying me about it first? Two of my men were found unconscious. Not to mention we have one shuttle less. Why wasn't I informed about this?"

"You had just left for your mission" said Alric, continuing to stay calm. That annoyed Reed even more. "Besides, what would you have done? Blast him out of the sky?"

"Yes!" replied Reed exasperated.

Alric gave him a serious look "We didn't get to that point where we just shoot people, Reedus. Not yet"

Reed let out a long sigh and sat on one of the chairs in front of Alric's desk.

"I know you hated the guy" Alric continued with the same calm voice "But trust me, this is for the best. I couldn't stand the guy, he was always in everyone's business. I know his method broke protocol but I let it slide for the simple fact that I wanted him out of here. And I honestly never understood what Maya saw in him"

"How was that for the best? Maya is in the infirmary" said Reed with a sudden sadness in his voice.

Alric's calm expression shifted to a combination of shock and worry. "What do you mean? What happened?"

"I found her unconscious on the floor". He sighed. "It was... history repeating let's say"

The Colonel was left speechless. Him and Maya went a long way. She was in his draft of trainees as well. And while he made himself noticed with his strategical thinking, Maya was quick on her feet like a squirrel. A lot of times it was hard to keep up with her but they made a good team. And he was one of the few she'd ever share her past with.

"But she was doing so well" his voice faded as he spoke.

"I am not entirely sure what triggered it but I am more than certain that Josiah had a part in it. He must've told her something or worse..."

"Emma did say she seemed unwell yesterday" he paused for a moment. "I should have paid close attention. If only I wasn't held up here so much... Now that I think about it, you might be right. He did leave in quite a hurry. Why wouldn't he just sign up for the colony if he wanted to leave so bad? Everyone was more than welcome to join. Hell, I wouldn't have had anything against the entire crew settling on Atlas"

"Don't get me wrong, I am glad that he's gone. But if this is the effect it had on my sister, I can't help but wonder if it was the right thing that he left"

"And here I was thinking maybe I should have blasted him out of the sky" Reed gave a weak chuckle.

"But it can't be just that" said Alric standing up from his chair. He began to pace his office back and forth.

"What do you mean?"

"I know I haven't been around much lately, but I know your sister. His mere departure couldn't have been the only trigger. Something must've happened. She is not that weak."

"Well, what good will it do now though? He is gone."

"What if he was the one who knocked her unconscious? That makes him a dangerous person. One that I just let lose in a new colony on a new planet"

"I've seen in before, Alric. It wasn't him... but I have to agree with you, he could be dangerous. I always had a bad feeling about him"

"So we're finally agreeing on something" said Alric with a big smile on his face. "Yeah, don't get used to it"

Reed stood up and made his way to the door. "I think you should contact the colony and inform them just to be safe. Who knows what he is capable of"

[selenaakkerman-blog]

The Aurora. Part 1: Memoris

Project Aurora was the most ambitious one ever made by the human race. A colony ship capable of housing five thousand people, traveling hundreds of light-years across the galaxy, in search for habitable worlds and establishing alien contact. The governments of Earth rallied together to make this project happen, after a probe sent out into space decades before, relayed back promising data that proved there were hundreds of habitable worlds out there.

An entire expedition team was assembled, along with thousands of other civilians from every walk of earth. Everything on the ship was recycled and reused. It was a fully self sustained ecosystem in its own right, meant to last for hundreds of years.

Twenty one months into the expedition, Atlas was discovered, a planet twice the size of Earth, with three moons in its orbit and an abundance of new species of flora and fauna to research. A small colony was established and those who wanted to, remained behind to prosper on the new world. The Aurora would only return decades, if not even a century later.

Around one hundred and fifty people were registered for departing the Aurora and settling on Atlas. But there was one more unaccounted for...

"She is late, yet again"

"She will be there" said a voice over the comm.

"Yesterday she had Cortez fill in for her. Did she tell you anything?". The woman's voice was increasingly worried.

"No but it's not like her to skip her training sessions. She will be there."

"I don't know, Alric... Something is not right. I saw her in the mess hall yesterday, she was out of it. And I'm a doctor; I know these kind of things when I see them. Not to mention her history..."

"She is doing good, Emma. She has been improving constantly since we got here. I wouldn't worry about it"

"You haven't been around much. Things happened..."

"I need to go, the Commander needs me on the bridge" the man interrupted.

"Let me know if something changes"

Dr. Emma Bryne was a small, seemingly frail woman, with dusty blonde hair and hazel, slightly almond-shaped eyes. She was also the lead surgeon on the Aurora and part of a new group of trainees in the military's self-defense program. Their lieutenant and trainer was missing the session for the second time in a row and as her close friend, Emma grew worried. She was waiting in the gym on Deck 3 with the rest of the recruits, when she spotted a tall, dark-skinned young man entering the room.

"Reed!" she called, approaching him. "Maya is late for training again and I have a feeling she won't show up at all. Please tell me you know something"

"I just got back from reckon. What happened?"

"I don't know. Nobody seems to know. Yesterday..."

She told him how Maya didn't show up the previous day and how she saw her in the mess hall. The young man's expression changed to concern as he listened to her.

"I am getting worried" she continued with a trembling, whispering voice. "We both know what she went through before we all came here. If you would have seen her, you would be just as worried, Reed"

"She seemed perfectly fine when I left. Did something happen when I was away?"

Emma shrugged "Not that I know of".

Reedus Luvalle went by the name Reed among his peers and was known as Major Luvalle in the military ranks. He was a well made young man, with brown eyes, dark hair and an intimidating posture. He was leading most reckon missions in newly discovered systems and asteroid fields, and was head of security on the Auroa. He was also Maya's older brother.

His sister missing her training sessions was unlike her, he had to admit. She was the diligent one between the two of them, always on time, always knowing what needed to be done. Sometimes he would wonder if she should have been the one at the lead of the reckon missions; his way of doing things was still sloppy.

Maya Luvalle wasn't without flaws, however. She was valedictorian of her high school class, true, and went on to study foreign affairs at a prestigious institute before project Aurora was launched. But during her second year at the Institute, something happened, something she refused to talk about. Whatever it was, it changed her. She became more serious, more quiet and began distancing herself from the rest of the word.

When the project was launched, she saw it as her way out, a much welcome change. Months before the departure, she enrolled in the expedition's military program and began rigorous training sessions. Her hard work earned her the Lieutenant rank within the first eighteen months of the expedition. Along with Colonel van der Heuvel, she established a self-defense class for civilians to train their fighting skills and learn how to be prepared in the face of danger. Some of them were even drafted into the military. She was appreciated by her trainees and respected among the rest of the crew.

And now she seemed to have gone missing.

"I will send someone to replace her for today's training and see what she is up to" said Reed after a moment of silence.

Emma gestured him to follow her to the lockers. She opened one and rummaged through her coat pockets, pulling out a set of keys and cards. She took one card out of the bunch and handed it to him.

"What's this for?"

"It's my lock override pass. As a last resort"

With a look of disbelief, he put the card in his back pocket, made his way out of the gym and towards the living quarters. As he was getting closer to Maya's room, he began having a feeling of unease. Come to think of it, he didn't notice that good-for-nothing Josiah Slater in the gym for the training session. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he saw him. It was way before his reckon, that was for sure. He never really approved of his sister's relationship with that clown. There was always something off about him.

A knot hit his stomach as he stopped in front of Maya's room. He knocked a few times and waited for an answer. Silence.

"Maya? Is everything okay?"

He tried listening at the door. Then knocked a few times more. Still silence. "Maya, come on! Open up, I need to talk to you"

His heart was racing out of his chest and the knot in his stomach grew bigger. He pulled out the key card Dr. Bryne gave him and scanned it on the door lock. It hissed open, revealing a semi-dark room, with a huge tinted window at the far end; it was covering the entire wall and displayed a hologram of the cosmos on its entire surface.

He took a few steps in and looked around.

"May... oh no..."

He felt his heart sinking and blood rushed through the back of his head. Maya was lying on the floor, few meters away from the huge window, her small body seeming even smaller in the holographic background. He rushed to her side, cold flashes running through his body. Her skin was pale and cold. Small patches of blood darted the floor around her. Her nose bled, leaving red streaks on her left cheek. Her hands were brought together, one arm covering the other as if she was trying to grip it. At a more careful look, Reed found cuts along her skin, some deeper than others; a small knife was on the floor not far from her, blade stained red.

With trembling hands, Reed checked for her pulse.

"Dr. Bryne, we have an emergency. I need you back at the infirmary ASAP" he called though his comm headset.

"Did you find her?"

"Yes and it's as you feared, I'm afraid"

"Make your way to the infirmary, I will be right there"

[selenaakkerman-blog]

[selenaakkerman-blog]

Now it’s summer again...

And it gets me thinking about back then. Back when each day had a meaning of sorts. Things have never been like that before and have not been like that since. It gives me an eerie feeling because you were not real back then more than you are right now. For all I know, you may as well be a ghost.

I lost something precious all those years ago in that summer when everything started to change. I lost myself. Not in an unconscious, headache-inducing, heat-of-of-the-moment kind of way. I was well aware of what I was doing and somewhere in my subconscious I knew the consequences. And yet I didn’t care. Why? Why was I so caught up in it that I was willing to sacrifice everything without concern?

It felt like a story where so many things go wrong but none of it matters because the two lovers have each other and love will always prevail. I feel so ashamed of all that, of how foolish and childish and naive I was able to be. Where was my mind when I needed it to be there, alert and strong? Where was my unwavering logic that kept me away from people like you all my life? I was always able to see the foul intentions in others, the lies and the deceit and I used to be able to walk away from all that, trusting myself that I did the right thing. But I was not able to see the foul in you. I grew tired and I made the terrible mistake of letting my guard down.

And now it’s summer again and it haunts me. It gives me that eerie feeling again of sweet summer days, burdened with the smell of flowers, the warmth of the sun and the gentle afternoon breeze, ice cream, beach walks, late nights and all the good things summer brings. And then you, vile, wicked, rotten to the core, good for nothing lie. It feels like nostalgia, melancholy... like a good memory turned bitter. I want to remember the warmth and the scent, the salty seaside breeze and somehow I can’t do that without remembering you. And then I remember you were a lie, a mere illusion in my head that seeped into every good memory I’ve ever had and took all the goodness away.

My mind is strong. So strong, in fact, that when you managed to get in my head and turned my own self against me, you convinced me that normally impossible things were, in fact, real. So much so that I lost sense of reality; I was living in a world that revolved itself around you and the lies you webbed my mind into. I lost my identity; I forgot who I was and what I liked and I was unable to relate to anything that didn’t involve you. It took me years to earn that back and I am still struggling. I lost my mental health; all the stress and anxiety you gave me ate away my once healthy mind. It became vulnerable, slow and broken.

I don’t even know what you were. I can’t say you were a person because no human being could ever do something like that. You had too much power, too much experience, you played your cards too right to be a mere human with a consciousness. If demons were real, the hideous ones born from the lowest circles of hell, you would be one of them. Horns and claws and everything else. Out of all the monsters in my nightmares, you are the most dangerous one. You managed to bleed into all my good memories of all my summers, even the ones you were never present in.

And now it’s summer again and I am seeking to replace your fetid memory, every trace of you ever being there in the first place. You took things from me and while I don’t have the ability to lower myself to your level and take things from you in compensation, I hope someone else will. I told myself I wouldn’t let myself wish such things to you or others because it doesn’t do good to my karmic energy. But you deserve it ten fold. You had no right to my mind and my sanity, you had no right to my identity, you had no right to manipulate and use me. When you take something that is not yours, you have to pay.

I hope you’ll pay for it the rest of your life...

Photo by Adriel Kloppenburg on Unsplash

[selenaakkerman-blog]

Blazing Ice - Part I

The war began as quick as the flicker of a candle. We used to know who our enemy was and what it could do. There were occasional surprise attacks but after a while the barbarians became so predictable, the attacks were hardly surprising anymore. They climbed down the western mountains from their dark caverns, pillaged a farm or two, scared a few villagers and tried to take over the outposts. Then the army interfered and drove them away, chasing them to the foot of the mountain and watching them stumbling on their way up to the caves. It was almost always the same thing. Until one day when everything went quiet. Too quiet some may say. They stopped attacking, they stopped climbing down the mountain. The army was on alert waiting for them but they didn't show up anymore. Some believed that they were gone for good and that we won this quarrel that lasted for years. Others thought that the end of the world will be upon us, for the mysterious disappearance of the barbarians was a very bad sign. And others, realists like my father, were always on alert, keeping an eye out for the shadows that were lurking in the dark, always ready for a surprise attack. Little did we know back then that we were not ready...

"I think it's time we head back"

"Just a bit longer. This view is amazing!"

"Jes, we don't have time for this. What if they show up again?" I cried.

Jes had an odd way of looking at things. She lost everything during the attack. Well, everything a twenty-one-year-old baker, living on her own can have at that age. Her house was burned to the ground, along with everything inside. She lived above the town bakery, so that we along with it. Luckily she was not home at that time. But in spite of what happened, she did not grief, she did not shed a single tear. She was quieter than usual for a few days but that was it. Not once have I heard her complain or look back with remorse. She was happy and full of life like anyone her age who had everything they wanted and no care in the world. After the barbarians took over and the army was decimated, those of us who were still alive and free found refugee in an abandoned warehouse.

Jes was the first who came to offer her help to any civilian in need or in finding those who were taken hostage. On one of our nightly outings patrolling the area, I dared ask her how could she be so content with what happened. She confessed that it gave her a chance to do something really important, something more than selling fresh baked bread to the people. She was given a chance to fight for her home, a chance her parents didn’t have.  At that time she was unaware of her abilities but my elder brother saw her potential even before putting her to a test. That was almost ten moons ago...

Photo by Etienne Bösiger on Unsplash

[selenaakkerman-blog]

A bit about creating characters + FREE Printable Character Creation Worksheet

Characters are one of the most important element of any story. The lie at the very foundation of it, and through them, we are able to tell our story and help the reader perceive the world we created. They bring our creation to life while they themselves are creations of their own.

A character doesn't just live and breathe in our tales, but also feels, perceives, transmits emotions, moods, feelings, memories. They are the gateway to our reader's soul. What we try to say through our stories is translated by our characters in a language that only the heart can understand. The more powerful the message we try to send it, the stronger a story it requires and, subsequently, strong characters.

In order to create such characters, we must keep the message clear in our minds. What do we want to say? What do we want our reader to feel? How can our characters send our message? It's simple: we must create them from the heart. They must be capable of feeling, of transmitting emotions. And we must fall in love with them. With each and every single one of them. From the heroic protagonist to the loathsome villain and every side character in between, human or elf, robot or alien, alive or lifeless. Our characters should represent little images of ourselves as we put a tiny bit of our soul in the creation of each one of them. They become unique, memorable and readers will surely fall in love with them too.

To ease you in the process of creating your own great character, I put together a Character Creation Worksheet. Most of the worksheets I found online were too extensive (170 questions) and contained irrelevant information. I like my characters to develop with the story, to grow and bloom into those unique personalities that readers will love. It takes away from the mystery and fun of character development to have every single aspect of your character all figured out from the beginning. So I made a worksheet of my own with what I think are the most important and relevant information you need to figure out when you create a character. Feel free to add more elements or take away as you need but do let me know in the comments if I missed out something important.

You can grab the FREE Printable Character Creation Worksheet here.

Tell me, what is your favourite character archetype/stereotype?