H E L P L E S S

22 | bavaria want a happy version of myself

[selfhxtredkid]

It'a 4 years ago since a posted my last post.

Bow I can say I'm fully happy with my life and I'm proud of myself

[selfhxtredkid]

it's a while ago since I posted, I was really happy, stopped cutting.. Not end of 2022, I'm completely lost, my boyfriend suddenly quit and I'm all alone not knowing where to go, what to do, who I am.

I just want to be happy 

[selfhxtredkid]

[selfhxtredkid]

I haven‘t cut for 4 month now & im kinda proud of myself and so fucking thankful for my boyfriend 🖤

But I still have those thoughts of hurting myself, but I think I can fix it

[selfhxtredkid]

I love you so much I‘ll never let you go

[selfhxtredkid]

I really thought my depression is over and I did but unfortunately I relapsed.

I feel so empty, my life doesn‘t make any sense.

Why is this so hard to get through it?

[selfhxtredkid]

WHAT IT‘S LIKE TO LIVE WITH DEPRESSION:

• you struggle to sleep but have no reason to get out of bed

• there is zero motivation

• your hunger is too much or completely subsided

• you mastered a fake smile

• one day you drown the others you swim

• a lot of tears will run over your face

• you end up questioning everything

• being alone can be good but is also the scariest thing ever

• you‘re just an overthinker

IT WILL BE OKAY, BUT WHEN..?

[selfhxtredkid]

[selfhxtredkid]

Happy Wednesday :)

[selfhxtredkid]

[selfhxtredkid]

I relapsed

[selfhxtredkid]

accurate

[selfhxtredkid]

I don‘t know where my head is anymore and I‘m so tired of it

Because one day I‘m completely happy and then the next day, I feel completely broken

I just wanna be happy and live my life but it seems like that can never happen

Because something always goes wrong..

[selfhxtredkid]

trapped in my own mind

[selfhxtredkid]

I wanna cut so bad

[selfhxtredkid]

Corona und der Lockdown machen mich einfach nur noch fertig, langsam können ich und meine Psyche einfach nicht mehr.

[selfhxtredkid]

You cut because you‘re angry, depressed, sad, frustrated and desperate

but then

you start cutting even without a reason you only want to feel the pain, see the blood and to have a scar