[selfpres]

NOW AT @stillgrows

selfpres ⸻ an independent and selective roleplay blog for an original character with a basis in lovecraftian horror, created and written by syd. verses for horror-adjacent fandoms available. eighteen and older only. blog established july 2023. affiliated with fleshmade.

a study in: self preservation above all else, subverted power dynamics, being subjected to the horrors™, dreams being far from sweet, only known by their nickname, being the object of an outer god's obsession, came back wrong (but only slightly), masochism in its various forms, missing half of yourself, the determinator, being a vessel for the apocalypse, & finding out where to draw the line.

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[stillgrows]

Something inside my head—growing. Something inside my chest—growing. (You'll never be the same again.)

STILLGROWS ft. Sigma of Bungou Stray Dogs and a canon-divergent Scaramouche of Genshin Impact, as well as original characters & muses from various videogame, podcast, literature, and animanga sources—all interpreted and written by Syd.

[selfpres]

hi friends.

i believe i'm going to be moving all my muses to my multifandom multimuse, including pierre. i understand if i lose people this way, but i'm trying to focus most of my creative energy on an original novel i'm already 50k words into—pierre's source novel; my goal is to get it all written and edited by the end of the year. because of that, i don't have it in me to maintain multiple blogs. as it is, i'm finding myself too stressed thinking about which blog to go on that i end up not going on a blog at all. i'll be crossposting this on all my blogs, and i may reblog it a time or two and add a note to the pinned.

nothing's been transferred over to the carrd yet, but i have quite a few blogs i need to transfer so that will take some time.

give me a follow over there if you're up for it and want to keep writing with this guy. if not, no hard feelings—it's been real.

[selfpres]

screaming crying throwing up why is this the most like pierre anyone has ever looked before

[selfpres]

the ahncorp experience™️

[selfpres]

cutely pokes my head in here

well! the end of november is creeping ever closer! i'm still on track to win nano, and then i'll have a lot more writing to get through the plot and then i'll be doing edits and rewrites in the new year...

i'll be back once december is here. i'll probably shift my writing style to have proper capitalization and be written in past tense, since that's how i write my proper stuff and is what i've gotten in the habit of. that said: it's a while out, but i do need to consider what i'll do with this blog if/when i publish. that is a problem for future me.

[selfpres]

as a heads up: october is a busy month for me between work, my sister's baby shower, a friend and my mother visiting, and nano prep + podcast binging... in november i will be doing nanowrimo, and for that i'll be writing my rough draft of pierre's experimental novel.

due to this, i am on a hiatus until december. i know i already haven't been here much recently for reasons listed above that bled backwards into september, but once nano is done i plan to get back to rp.

[delusionalrobot]

from the introduction to emily wilsons translation of the iliad

[dostoyevsky-official]

this email could've been a wordless locking of eyes across the street

[stillgrows]

i'll wave a fire extinguisher around later, pull some vintage cliveisms out of the closet — we'll get the truth out. // a multi-fandom, mixed-media multimuse featuring clive schill of red valley, as written by syd.

[fleshmade]

at any hour of the day, the city is bustling—people coming and going, here and there. an anthill. this seems to be the case almost anywhere past a certain population. boston is no different, and j appreciates the anonymity, the activity.

even now, focusing on pierre, they are intimately aware of the people passing around them.

"i ate already," they say, corners of their lips curling upwards in an almost-smile. "besides, it wouldn't reflect well on me to make you tardy, would it?" though it's hard to say if nikki would even be there to 'take attendance', and they both know it.

the light changes, signifying their right to pass on the crosswalk (there has to be a better way...considering some drivers hardly seem to notice).

their own thoughts move aside as they follow after pierre. a woman with a small dog on a leash walks by them, and the creature pauses, fur bristling in terror, to let out a short growl at j—before being dragged along by its frustrated human.

[selfpres]

pierre hasn't known j for longer than a couple days, and they haven't been with the company for any longer than that. they were hired for this specifically, or at least that's what he's managed to put together from how nikki talked about them and this new position. but, like anyone else who might be at all able to make it in this company, they seem to have adjusted to nikki's eccentricities fairly quickly.

“you'd be surprised what i can get away with,” he muses, and then he adds as an afterthought: “or you wouldn't be.” he could just not show up if he didn't want to, and what would nikki do about it? pierre's tested that out a time or two, but he's never pushed too far. he's not an idiot.

he doesn't react much to the growling dog — it's small, he's fairly tall, and he's good at ignoring everything. once the dog's been pulled along by its owner in the direction they just came from and they're on the sidewalk on the other side of the street, he adjusts his hands in his jacket pockets.

“not a dog person?” he asks, pulling a box of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. seven minute walk to work from this side of the street, six minutes to smoke. it's part of his usual routine nowadays.

he knocks a cigarette from the box and settles it between his lips before dropping the pack back into his pocket and lighting it. “or are they not... you animals?”

[fleshmade]

these forms simply exist, passively allowing the unfolding of the physical processes that define their interactions with themselves and their surroundings. // an independent and selective original character, heavily inspired by the thing (1982). written by toast. promo by syd.

[selfpres]

time moves differently in the dreamlands. it's impossible to describe as faster or slower than time in the waking world, as it's both and neither — it's different in every area, and it's different to every dreamer.

évariste only knows it's been five years since his death in the waking world because nyarlathotep makes sure he knows... just like it makes sure he knows everything else.

[selfpres]

i don't actually know/have interest in bg3 besides things i've learned via osmosis but it would be funny to give pierre a verse anyway

[murdershaped]

                               I itch to peel you, to split your skin, to see your SKULL SHINE in the light

[harmsdealer]

➥ Are you bored of EVERYTHING ON EARTH? Do you long for wares smuggled from space—be they weapons, jewels or exotic pets? Are you comfortable trading with eccentric alien fugitives? If you nodded strenuously along with any of these questions, hit up KEI KANAMITSU: vendor of everything but happiness. // sci-fi oc with human verse; private but friendly; 18+; written by nick.

[frankencain]

if my dog turned out to be a horrifying ancient murderous shapeshifting alien creature I would simply love and treasure them for who they really are. sorry about the carnage I guess but I'm different