♡ Selfship Affirmations ♡

Affirmations for you and your F/O 💕 Insane thing to have to clarify but these posts "are so ridiculous that they circle around to being funny" because they are jokes. They are meant to be taken as a joke. Calm ❤️

[selfshipperaffirmations]

can I request more physically abusive affirmations…. Pls tell me how my f/o hates me and would beat the everloving shit out of me

Yes! 💞

⋆˚꩜｡ Your F/O will twist your arm behind your back when you least expect it. Yeeeowwch!

⋆˚꩜｡ Your F/O will wait until you've finally let your guard down, and then under the guise of holding your hand, they'll try their hardest to break your fingers!

⋆˚꩜｡ Your F/O will demand that you do something for them. Whether it be a murder you don't want to commit or simply an impossible chore, when you refuse to do it, they will back you into a corner, yelling and threatening you until you give in!

⋆˚꩜｡ Your F/O will sharpen comically large knives while running at you laughing! Run!

⋆˚꩜｡ Your F/O will lean in for a kiss, and then grab your chin and bash your head into the nearest wall!

[selfshipperaffirmations]

im so torn because i think its mean and petty but also i secretly think its Really funny. in a morbid edgy way lol. i think darkshippers/negative selfshippers would like your posts better just sayin

i really dont know what you want me to tell you. Its Okay To Like My Posts… If you follow me I wont Tell Anybody… if the darkshippers like this stuff they can feel free to drop a request in that askbox

[selfshipperaffirmations]

its fine to find my jokes funny…

[selfshipperaffirmations]

im so torn because i think its mean and petty but also i secretly think its Really funny. in a morbid edgy way lol. i think darkshippers/negative selfshippers would like your posts better just sayin

i really dont know what you want me to tell you. Its Okay To Like My Posts… If you follow me I wont Tell Anybody… if the darkshippers like this stuff they can feel free to drop a request in that askbox

[segamascott]

it's okay to block people for being mildly annoying unless of course it's me in that case you're just gonna have to suck it up sorry

[selfshipperaffirmations]

i already see people talking about finding my main you are not finding me LMAO 😭 i dont post about my selfships in the tags cuz of how u all act but u sure can try 😭

[selfshippersimagine]

Okay, this is a long one. 💝

Imagine you and your F/O are scrolling on social media in bed. Its calm, peaceful and puts you at ease. Suddenly, your F/O sits up. Their eyes widen and they turn their phone around to reveal a lengthy Twitter thread supposedly exposing you for sexting minors. "Is this true?" They ask, fear written in their eyes. You say no, yet they believe the thread over you. You both shrug it off, but you can tell your F/O is still shaken. Weeks later, you both come to realize their toxic ex was making the posts, yet they still believe the ex over you. You two eventually break up over this and you find they went back to their ex because of this. Better yet, everyone on your TL believes the horrible allegations against you, and you can never find a high paying career because of the digital footprint thrust upon you.

[selfshipperaffirmations]

Check this out 💕

[selfshipperaffirmations]

this is really funny and anybody genuinely angry over this has lost it dw. the idea of a fictional character hating you shouldn't upset you deeply enough to ruin your day. if you're in a sorry enough mental state that it does then i'm sorry, but you ARE the outlier and you need to acknowledge that.. 😅 peace and love ☮️

thank you + peace and love ❤️

[selfshipperaffirmations]

Your F/O sees your posts and doesn’t really like them!

[selfshipperaffirmations]

genuinely stop answering hateful asks and giving them attention, it's on them to ignore you ♥️ some of us are disabled and find it funny and can find humor or power in self deprecation ♥️ it's just not that serious and you will never please everyone, especially the controlling and gatekeeping types

thank u this is really kind 😊 i am aware its not that serious and its not my goal to please anybody i just really find most of these asks hilarious and i like answering them. if the large group of selfshipperaffirmations supporters (JOKE) would like me to perhaps stop answering them or make a tag to block so you can only see your favorite affirmations content let me know though

[selfshipperaffirmations]

Sorry OP, but your yumes DO love you. Even if it takes fucking it into you until you accept their love. Especially that actually <3

my selfship themed rape threat is really gonna show this guy whats up. it has to use the japanese word for it though. and it has to be this guy’s favorite characters

[selfshipperaffirmations]

"Im not a bigot I just like joking about assaulting cane/wheelchair users and the mentally disabled!"' Do you hear how you sound right now. I genuinely dont know why youre getting upset that people are telling you to tag your shit. Im disabled and youre the one who needs to touch grass. I dont get how just spewing the same bullshit I have to hear from actual ableists is suddenly ok because its "obviously parody." You're a classic schrodinger's idiot.

i think you should just block me lol

[selfshipperaffirmations]

my f/o and i hate each other and it’s so nice to finally see some representation!!! thank you for running this blog

No problem 💕 It’s the same over here!

[selfshipperaffirmations]

sorry people are being so mean to you over a joke blog. a lot of selfshippers need to log off and touch grass more

i genuinely thought this would get like three notes this is kind of crazy i made this blog this morning

[selfshipperaffirmations]

F/o imagine : They break into your home and lowkey beat the shit out of you♥️

Your F/O will always want to hurt you extremely ❤️

[selfshipperaffirmations]

you know you can just delete the ableist post right, if you truly believe it is and Actually care that it is. you dont have to double down and keep it up because its "funny"(its really not). im not trying to be an ass, im just leveling with you in a mature way

i really dont think it was ableist considering its very obviously just a parody of regular selfship posts so im not going to delete it but i did want to clarify that any of those actions would not be acceptable in a real situation and i personally found them objectionable

[selfshipperaffirmations]

why are you doing this.

To support selfshippers ❤️💕 This box is for affirmations and requests ONLY people!

[selfshipperaffirmations]

actual sincere question: are you tumblr user kitbodegablack?

no i dont care enough to go onto peoples posts to make personalized insults for selfshipping + they seem incredibly bigoted. im a selfshipper on my main so thered be no reason for me to go and do that lol.. i dont harass people