The Impossible (from Quartz' Journal)
It never fails. Every single time, the same old song.
I always fall for the impossible ones.
They say, follow your heart. They say, your heart knows what's best for you. I say, they're idiots. Have you Met my heart? Do you know what kind of stupidity it gets me into? Because seriously, no matter what I do, or where I go, I'm guaranteed to fall for someone who can never see me as anything other than a friend.
In some ways it's not so bad. It's kind of nice knowing that I'll be safe, that they can't hurt me any more than I've already hurt myself. There's a certain security in caring about somebody who wants good things for you, and who wants you to be happy, even if they don't want to be the one you find happiness with.
It's that way with Leon. We laugh together, and he lets me play with his hair. I teased him about wanting some of it to spin, he threatens to shave it off and give it to me. And every time I believe him, as if there was ever any chance he would do it. I'm gullible that way, and he loves me for it. Just not the way I wish he would.
It was that way with Clark too. Only we took turns, one of us would crush on the other and then get over it, just in time for the other to start crushing back. Guess it's a little late for that now...
It's always been that way with me. I guess I'm getting used to the idea now. Still, I can't help but wish that it was different. But maybe one day, I can get past my own Hang-Ups and I'll give my heart to someone who not only won't Flinch away, but might even offer me theirs back in return...












