Yes, you saw that right.

Don't be mad cuz I fucked ur dad

[federalbureauofislam]

sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen

[justbadpuns]

A man who loves Sherlock Holmes novels and puns names his dog Furlock. One day, he takes his dog out to town with him and stops in a little boutique. He brings his dog in with him and tries on a shirt. To his dismay, it isn’t the right size. He looks at his dog and says “No fit, Furlock.“

[semenglazeddonuts]

i am pump-kin