i often reminisce; think of a simpler time when no dessert after dinner was the worst thing that could happen. back when my mother would pick out my clothes and my father still loved me. at that age all i wanted to be was older so i could have more freedom. but nowadays all i think about is how much better it’d be to be nothing at all. how much better it’d be to never know the feeling of change.
i think my younger self is disappointed in the life i chose for us. she wishes she had more control over things like i promised. she believed our parents would be mom and dad forever and that growing up meant nothing would change but her age. i feel guilty for tricking her into believing she could be or do anything, for making her believe life could be so simple.
