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the real number line

the concept of infinity in mathematics is fascinating and intriguing. in the set of all real numbers, there lies a point with inconceivable amount of distance from the origin, zero. that’s how infinities are defined, the farther the gap from the place you’ve came from the greater the value you have in the set.

this is the concept that society lacks thereof oftentimes, we define the real number line as a measure for the amount of money we make and for how many titles we put into our names. we define the real number line as a measure for the number of cars we acquired, for the hours we spend on work each year, for the amount of knowledge we have. but that was wrong.

real number line in reality is a measure of how deep is your connection from yourself and to the people around you. it depends on why you have this choice and why you don’t have the other. it depends on how well you understand your motives and actions. it depends on the people you are usually with.

no matter how many friends and enemies you have it doesn’t matter since it recalibrates itself from the set of all people who do really care about you. real number line defines your status as a naked person. as an individual stripped with priviledges.

and when the time comes that you finally realize of who you really are, that’s when you know your true value. it doesn’t need to be compared with others because human significance is relative. just like how distinct lines on a real number plane don’t have the same defined value for infinity.

you are who you are for a reason. find one and you’ll definitely understand why your life is worth living on.

#Poem #Real Number Line

Goodbye, My Sweet Summer

Final Message to Ms. L:

Hi! :)

We’re almost halfway to graduation (yay!). The college must have been both heaven and hell for you, huh. But I know you can beat this academic phase because your work ethic (from what I saw 2 years ago) embodies the values of an iskolar ng bayan.

I want to congratulate you for every amazing thing you did in your life, whether it’s small or big. I might not be there to witness all your achievements and the way you checked off several items in your bucket list, I am very happy that you’re living your life to the fullest. Even happy is an understatement of what I feel for you. I mean, look at you, how gorgeous and smart you have been. Your past-selves must be very proud of what you’ve become.

Also, I am so thankful that we were given a chance to meet each other, even for a small span of time. It is the highlight of my high school life, like, if someone asks me if what I remember in that phase, certainly, I would tell those moments I was inspired by the thought of you. Those are good memories, an epitome of fun and reckless, but I don’t want to get it back. Recently, I developed a habit of burning bridges of the past – of removing my “friendly acquaintances” and “closest friends” out of my reach. It just happens that I still need something to tell you before we drift apart. I intended to make it 640 days after our last conversation, well, because that is also the number of days I am “crazy” for you.

Speaking of, I am sorry for being … (what’s the right term) … epal in your life. I realize, I was too imbecile not seeing things in your way and that we can’t simply complement very well. Perhaps, I was too confident to what others say regarding my status on you – I often see things as a competition, and that your “sweet yes” is the prize. Very selfish and immature, isn’t it? … And you were right all along. It wasn’t love that I felt. It was a long-term infatuation to you – believing that we could happen, that my future is entwined with yours, and that “sparks” is possible between us, but fortunately, it wasn’t. Fortunately, because I envisioned that you might not get happy being with me. Our interpersonal attraction is one-sided and I don’t want to force you to reciprocate it back. That’s why I am also thankful that you “pre-emptively” (implied) rejected me every time and every moment we talk.

You’re about to turn eighteen in a few minutes. The responsibilities as well as the perks of being an adult are now within your tender hands. Make a difference. Make a small dent in this ever-expanding universe. Don’t ever be afraid of failing and falling. Take a risk. And wherever you go, just know that, wherever that is, is where you're supposed to be.

If it happens that our paths cross unexpectedly (note, unexpectedly. Reunions and homecomings don’t count), you can ask me your gift – whatever it is that you’d like.

c

i grew up thinking that Einstein is the smartest of his own time he was able to seize the connection of mass and energy in a system. those two important properties of a physical body is reliant on the speed of light – the fastest known object that has ever yet existed. however that was still the time when we were still flourished with the trickle of science and love and anything that keeps the world going, because now that you’re going away – faster than the speed of light – i can’t keep you like i did before.

#Poem #C #One-letter Title Poem

nuclearfusion

right there, when i first saw you,

i knew what the future will be like –

if i have you.

and so, i let my particles to mingle

with yours, the same way in

covalent bonds: molecules tend to share

the charges all they have.

it was fun and exciting. we were too

innocent and young and fragile.

we don’t know if we’ll form an alloy

or gas or a violent nuclear reaction.

it was too far beyond our extent to

know such things. all that matters with us

is that we were meant to be. to one another.

much in the same way our constellation

conspired us to meet in the vastness of

quantum reality – indeed, a serendipity!

right there, when i first had you,

i witnessed the expansion of universe along side

with my affection and love.

i saw how the mankind evolved through time

and dealt with life. i wondered if we

can also do the same thing. to

rise, kiss, survive, make love, and sleep.

but i never understood why the world hates us

to go together. we were massive atoms.

they said we won’t last long. and so we

want to prove them wrong as if it never

came into our minds that the limit of “our”

story may exist.

but then, there were no god, no hero, no savior

that has appeared until the last of our atoms;

right there, when we got separated.

yes they we’re right after all. it is true that we

won’t last forever and that the ignition and

combustion of our relationship may cease

not long after i first felt the warmth

of your tender hands as it

fills up the gaps of mine.

our love – a dead star.

to the world it burns brightly –

but they never knew it died long ago.

it was destructive. we were too vulnerable of

the uncertainty of tomorrow. however,

we developed courage and independence –

we turned back to the past to serve

as a lesson that shouldn’t recur again.

right there, the first time I saw you,

i knew what the future will be like if i have you.

and so i let myself to wallow in the serene pain

of love with you because i chose to.

#Poem #Nuclear Fusion

Hagibis

Bawat segundong lumilipas:

may dalawang raang libong nagkakagulo

sa iba't ibang lupalop ng mundo.

may tatllong milyong nag-aantay

ng tulong. matapos mawalan

ng trabaho, hindi makasulong,

sa problemang iniinda at itinatago.

may apatnapung milyong umaasang

hahamunin muli ng pag-ibig ng

nakaraan. subalit, patuloy na lumalayo;

dumadapo sa ibang dako

may kalahating bilyong tagatak ng kalungkutan at,

pighati. nais nang tapusin ang mala-impyernong

kalikasan ng buhay at kapaligiran.

Subalit sa likod ng madilim na alapaap, may bituing nagniningnig

bagamat natatakpan: nakakasilaw ang sinag - tila isang mainit na

planetang umiindayog sa magkaibang dulo ng kumot ng kalawakan.

Isa ngang paraiso. paraisong pinangarap ko sa aking kabinataan

at patuloy kong ipinapangako sa iyo. sa bawat segundong

lumilipas, panahon nating dalawa'y nauubos. nasusunog.

Nais kong sulitin ang ating sandali. sayang naman kung di ipapaalam;

handa akong harapin kung ano man ang iyong tugon;

sa di maiharap na tanong:

Maaari ba kitang maari?

#Filipino #Hagibis

my brother's suicide note shattered part:

when i came across the idea of dying, i was

not frightened, cringed, nor terrified; instead,

i am relieved knowing that this terrible

thing: what we call life can be terminated.

nobody ever consulted me to get on this

tiny blue dot in a blanket of luminous

webs in which i never expected be

full of misery, inequality; suffering.

it would be such a pleasure to go back

in a state of inexistence –

from being to nothing.

#Poem

“When you see her brightest smile because of another man, that’s the time to give up”

a shot to kill the pain;

a pill to drain the same;

a purge to stop the gain;

a cut to break the vein;

a smoke to ease the crave;

a drink to win the game;

an addiction’s an addiction

because it always hurts the same.

#Poem

If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

untitled.txt

i am afraid of love,

but is a lover of fear.

admirer's dilemma

it’s time to ask her out

for i’ve felt a sudden

burst of energy; i doubt

if she will accept or not;

tic-tac-tic, says the clock

don’t know when to talk

type every single letters,

proofread as often as possible

don’t let grammar bother

her; ack! they say, be yourself,

but i rather, stay at my room

and read the entire bookshelf;

i can’t. i just can’t. backspace –

delete, don’t leave any trace.

#Poem #Dilemma

first love dies

million droplets of water formed a river

near the place where we had our first meeting.

under the spectacle of various night lights:

bright stars and shadowed heights –

thoughts began to spurt, out of

our souls while sitting on a swing.

you asked me what star i most adore

but i didn't respond because i was too focused

at the freckles in your arms, they formed

like Cassiopeia. i swear, you wore the

constellation beautifully. it was perfect.

i felt my universe was into yours the closest.

we want to know more about each other

and we did. we explore beyond the limits

to discover our mutual interests, and later

we consider if we were made for one another.

call it delusional if it is, but we've deeply plunged

ourselves in the abyss of love to look directly at reality.

saturday. sundown. summer. second week of september.

that's the exact date of our soon-to-be special day.

you told me to wait at the bench till you later come up.

but time passed by, i didn't see any kind of image of you.

until your mom told me. you're now sleeping in a deathbed

after you crossed a six-lane highway and rammed by a truck.

the world become silent and blur, lightning struck

the river as it changes its direction of flow,

i held at the promise you've set. really hard.

you've told me to wait, but never did you.

until now: i believe we're meant to be

even though destiny and fate won't let us be.

#Poem #First Love

[Novel] - The Story of Us (Chapter 1)

#Novel #The Story of Us

[Short Story] - Coffee Shop

#CoffeeShop #ShortStory

The reason why I've never made any friends is because I’m not good with people, and I don't want to interact with them. And yet, I’m very concerned about what others think of me.

#Friends #Insecurities

First rule on how to be pretty: Just be yourself.

Her eyes are like blue moon. Always rare and precious to me.

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