at the strand of nightmares @semplance - Tumblr Blog

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time is just flat. there is that, and emptiness. existential fatigue leading to conviction that you're better off dead. anything than this would be better. this is returning to the reality where nothing changes, no matter if you make changes. they are simply tape plastered on a wall you don't see. you see only the inside of your head and how empty of beauty it is.

this feeling strikes almost as soon as I am with people again.

I rarely get these kind of thoughts at home. at home, there are distractions. absolute laziness of recharging my social battery just to be able to work.

I dream of endless sleep

#diary

freshmoviequotes

Frankenstein (2025)

jmfenner91

Inktober Day 27 - Onion

#digital art

nothing makes sense. I don't want anything. I have no desire for any task. mood swings are the death of me. how long will this be the case of my life? it is noted as lifetime.

fucking great. I'm in it with all y'all. I hate everyone and everything else can literally fuck off.

it's no surprise then that I am looking for an out. even if there is no out.

anything else than this constant struggle to live, and not even to live, merely to just exist, is a fucking insane nightmare that I must force myself to care about every freaking day.

get me out. I am tired of the theatrics. I am tired of battling thoughts. I know they're ungrounded but I'm having these suicidal thoughts. would I dare? and how would I make it permanent?

#diary

mournfulroses

Franz Kafka, from a letter to Milena Jesenka featured in "Letters to Milena,"

#quotes

dragonofdarkness666

Come on in.. the water is great!

#digital art

the feeling of wanting to hit myself in the face like a trainwreck. just a feeling, just a thought, one that means nothing but i keep playing with it as though it's a fidget spinner.

that's what i know, to upset myself with my observations, with my environment. something that needs unlearning. something that keeps being learned again. all so intense. all so boring.

all the same voices. all the same smiles.

this anger does not listen. this anger just is.

a mountain to conquer, but who ordered me to. the non-action is the action. the mouth is just a hole you fill with noise.

if i could pause being human, i would. and that's why kids do drugs.

#diary