☈

this is just a game, huh?

[sendingyoustarwaves]

starwaves,

i slept throught my alarms today

the nimbostratus clouds covered the sky, they

hid the sun who normally wakes me up

i dont know a lot, but i am eager to know more

i dont want to be the hand that hold your face, anymore

you once rested like water in my palms

And now you’re water on the floor

[sendingyoustarwaves]

you're getting out of here and i cant get that through my head

i just want to live in the narrative where things are finally right

where they dont end or break away the moment they're in my hand

i dont know how to describe it, its like i play these games knowing i will lose

the house always takes a cut

another slash in my ever beating heart

when do i get to finally step into the sun

[sendingyoustarwaves]

i couldnt leave

the sun, the sky

i think about life elsewhere and it doesn't make sense

i feel like i have a home inside of this house here

i am not borrowing time but existing in it

the poles will not flip this year and i will not to succumb to what has consumed me

[sendingyoustarwaves]

i think im always on the outside forever looking in

a glass plane that separates me from who i am and who i think i need to be

and i love this so much it tears me from the insides to think about saying goodbye

so, when i reach the sky

i will tell her i love her

and that ive missed her as long as I've known her

i just want a place where i feel complete and this is that place

[sendingyoustarwaves]

And id be smart to walk away but you’re quicksand

[sendingyoustarwaves]

Id be so lost without you

(Because I’ve built my life around you)

It’s in everything I do

Sitting here, dreaming of the sky along with my place in it

Will I ever be more than I’ve sought out to be ?

Will I feel complete without the half of me?

[sendingyoustarwaves]

if im the desert, youre the wide open space

i think this is a realization for me.

[glowcowboy]

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

[sendingyoustarwaves]

if this is all i ever am,

forever existed in that moment

i saw nothing but the sky and the earth underneath me

i know the wind is proud and i got to speak it,

i was worried all of this would happen without the sound of thee wind moving me along

typically worried for nothing, but hindsight is 20/20

[laqueus]

oh hp deskjet 2710e we're really in it now

[malinaa]

Ana Menéndez, “The Last Rescue,” In Cuba I Was a German Shepherd

[nintenstoner-deactivated2024012]

emily is away <3

[cinemapix]

— DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989)

[sendingyoustarwaves]

desert reflects the sea

[sendingyoustarwaves]

still not over “your past becomes your present if it’s always on your mind.” No need to call me out like that

[sendingyoustarwaves]

[sendingyoustarwaves]

ill do my best. its hard for me because for long i was so scared to fail i never tried at all. so my definition of "my best" was terribly skewed. i used to take offense when people said i had potential, but they were right. maybe they could see something i couldn't see in me yet.

sometimes i think about her. i really cant remember how it felt, i dont know if i want to. i forget she exists and all of a sudden she is sitting directly behind me and she looks the exact same. i know im different the tattoos on my arms prove that. i tell her what im in school for and she seems to understand why i cant speak to her.

the only thing i think i really truly love from the bottom of my heart and forever is the *********. i wanna talk about it with someone. and even though im not where i thought i would be at this current moment in time, i think im happy overall.