The Senoia Snitch

Oh, honey. I'm not your enemy, I swear. I'm just the one blogging. You want your enemy? I reckon your sister looks mighty suspicious over there but then again, that could just be because she's got your husband around her finger.

[senoia-snitch]

Mr Delane does know a real southern church won't let him preach anymore after he's gotten a divorce, right? That's how these church covenants do work.

And we all know that Senoia is as southern as it gets round here.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

I think I'm interested in Astrid

Then make like Tiger Woods and Nike and just do her.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Am I the only one turned on by Griffin? He's single, right?

Get on that, friend. Get on that before I do and let's face it, who'd pick you over me?

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Candy and Beau are flawless :)

So sweet that it makes me teeth ache. Course, toothaches never have really good endings.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

I spy with my lil eye a Thorne-y situation...

Hmm, are we talking about how there appears to be two of them? As far as speculation goes, it's certainly going to be an interesting time for all the Thornes. 

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

There's a new face in Beau's life it looks like. How much do you think he's paying her to not run away screaming?

Have you seen that face? You wouldn't have to pay me a cent. Better question, though, how much do you think she's paying him not to run away screaming?

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Anything heatin' up during this heatwave?

Well...as it turns out, this heatwave can raise your temperature in more than one way. You see anythin' heatin' up and you come tell little 'ol me.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Thoughts on Landry's hair?

I think I'm in love.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Oh yeah, I'm sure Roxanne is worried sick about Landry... while she's laying in Beau's bed. Must be hard.

Jealousy is not a good color on you, anon.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Thoughts on Mrs. Carlyle and her brother-in-law? They're awfully friendly for her to be married.

At least she's staying in the Carlyle family. Gotta get that inheritance somehow.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Wonder what has Alaska looking so pale after using Virginia's phone?

Wouldn't we all like to know. Wouldn't all of Senoia like to know?

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Thoughts on Nova being back in our little town?

God fucking bless. Looks like an even bigger storm is about to happen.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Is it even a shock anymore that Easton was in the middle of a fight during the storm?

It's shocking that some people might find that shocking.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Thoughts on Beau and Roxanne? They seem like such a dysfunctional couple.

Are they a couple? And here I thought Roxie's little heart was sticking to Landry but there's nothing more fun to watch than a love triangle explode. And let's face it, most relationships in Senoia are ticking timebombs. Romantic or otherwise.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Beau and Roxanne seemed so cozy earlier, I wonder what happened.

Mmm, this is more like it. You want to know what my favorite part about Beau is? His inability to keep friends. It makes for delicious confrontations.

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Hottest boy and girl in town?

Did you completely miss what I said? Try and be creative. I'm not here to spend time with such dull questions, I'm here for gossip and unless you have that, please take yourself to the nearest trash bin. 

S.S.

[senoia-snitch]

Favorite townspeople?

Me, myself, and I. I know it's hard for the simpletons in this town but try and be creative, love. 

S.S.