Stan Pines. If you asked anyone about Stan Pines, they'd tell you that his business was just starting to take off. It was a little rocky at first, one might say, but he's really picking things up. Another might tell you that he probably shouldn't be trusted, I mean, that guy is a hermit for years and now he's suddenly running a tourist attraction out of his house? I mean, come on, they'd say, get real. "Excuse me?" Mark Pines said, tapping on the shoulder of a short women holding a baby. "Do you know where I might find Stan Pines?" The woman's face lit up. "Stan Pines? Of course!" She said. "Are you from out of town? I bet you heard about the Mystery Shack, right?" "Mystery Shack?" Amy questioned, looking suspiciously over at her husband. "Oh yes!" The women said. "Just up the hill going north. You can't miss it. There are signs everywhere. Have fun!" She giggled quietly. "You won't believe the wonders there!" Amy frowned at Mark, holding her twins close to her chest. She'd already been sceptical of talking to Stan. He came to almost none of the family gatherings and when he did, he was weird and his face was always buried in this red book, scribbling away and muttering nonsense. "I trust my uncle," Mark said, though his face wasn't totally convincing. "I hung out with him all the time as a kid. Trust me." Amy's frown didn't move, but she begrudgingly passed Mabel over to her husband and followed him up the hill. The woman was right when she said you couldn't miss it. There were signs nailed to trees advertising the "Mystery Shack" "house of mystery!" "Go see the man of mystery himself!" Amy did not look pleased. Mark told himself she was just tired. When they reached the Shack, which was quite literally a shack, the sign on the door said closed. The lights inside were dimmed down- probably to save money, cheap Uncle Stan- but it was obvious that inside was a gift shop. Mark knocked on the door. You can't just walk in, this is a business after all. "We're closed!" Came a gruff voice from inside. "Come back tomorrow." "Uncle Stan? It's Mark, your nephew?" "What?" "Mark. Your nephew!" "What? I can't hear you?" "Jesus Christ Stan open the door!" The door opened and there stood a man with in a black suit and a fez. There was an eyepatch over his right eye, and glasses on top of that. "Mark!" He said, surprise covering his face. He pulled off the eyepatch which revealed a regular eye. Sales gimmick maybe? "W-what are you doing here?" Mark smiled and Stan was smiling right back. "This is my wife Amy," he said, stepping back to show the short women. "And your great-nieces, Mabel and Morgan." Surprise appeared again at the mention of the two children, which he noticed immediately after. The girl in Mark's arms reached out curiously for Stan. "We...we want to ask you a favour," Mark said, looking over at his wife. She was already started to get choked up, staring down at the girl in her arms. "Do you think we could come in?" -o- "Why me though?" Stan asked, looking down at the small child sleeping in his arms. Morgan Pines. A fitting name for such a creature. "Of all of your family, why me?" Mark sighed. "You know dad, Stan. He'll shove it in my face any moment he gets. 'You really can't handle this one, huh, Mark? A shame really.' You know what I mean?" "And my family is batshit crazy," Amy piped in. "I'm not sure how my parents would act, and my sister already has three children of her own." "You helped raise me, Stan, you're not half bad with children." Stan looked down at Morgan. She was so young. He knew what she would be going through if they had to spilt them up later in life. Do it now before they get attached to each other. "I...I'll do it." Amy's head whipped up. "Y-you will?" There were tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill out over her cheeks. Stan nodded solemnly. Amy passed Mabel over to her husband and rushed over to give Stan a hug. Mark looked surprised by this, but figured it was best to go with it. "You g-give that girl everything," she said sternly. "You make sure that she's happy." "I'll do everything in my power to make sure she grows up happy," Stan said, wrapped his free arm around the smaller women. "I'll give her the best goddamn childhood ever." -o- It took a lot of coaxing to get Morgan to release the tooth fairy. When they eventually did, she began yelling at them in a teeny voice that was difficult to understand. Then she flew away with Morgan's tooth. "Did she at least leave you a dollar?" Stan asked when she was out the window. "Not a dime," she replied, shaking her head. Stan ruffled her hair and shook his head. "I think maybe it's time we send you to school." Morgan hopped up onto one of the kitchen chairs, her smile wide. "Really?" She asked, swinging her legs. "You're pretty cool, Grunkle Stan, but it gets boring here sometimes. I can't do tours forever you know." Stan laughed and stood up to make breakfast. "I know, I know. How old are you now? 6?" "7!" Morgan yelled, sounding offended. "Right, right," he said, grabbing a carton of eggs from the fridge. "You're a smart kid. You can count and shit. How about second grade then? You think you can handle that?" "Yes sir!" She shouted and stood up on her chair to salute him. "Second grade...AWAAAAAY!" -o- "Alright class," Mrs Abigail said with a sweet smile. "This is your new friend, Morgan Pines. Would you like to tell us something about yourself sweetie?" Morgan placed her hands her hips. "It's a science-tific fact that one in seven people is an alien and I'm gonna find out which one of you suckers it is!" Mrs Abigail laughed uncomfortably before sending her off to sit down. "Your name tag is over with those girls over there," she said and sent Morgan on her way. Morgan walked over at sat down at a desk that was pushed together against three others. The one beside her was empty, and in front of her sat two girls. "Hello, my name is Candy," one of the girls said, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Your speech about aliens is very inspiring. I will help you hunt for the foe. "And I'm Grenda," the other girl all but yelled. She pushed her pencil bag across the table and coloured markers began spilling out. "We're not supposed to colour our name tags, but we do it anyway, and you should too." Morgan's eyes widened as she stared at the strange pair in front of her. "Okay!" She said finally and began digging into the markers. "I'm gonna draw gnomes and sea monsters on mine! You wanna know about the time that I caught the tooth fairy?" Morgan became fast friends with Candy and Grenda, and when she got home, she talked Stan's ear off about them. "They're going to help me catch aliens!" She gushed. "We think it's this weirdo named Jason, he smells like wet dogs!" Stan was pleased with how well school seemed to be going to Morgan. He wasn't sure why he didn't think of this sooner. School went well for about a week. Morgan had started stealing shorts from the lost and found and throwing her skirts up into trees. No big deal, Stan told himself, just dress her in shorts from now on. "It's easier to catch aliens in shorts," Morgan had explained. "And skirts are ugly anyway." The next week, Stan got a strange phone call from Morgan's teacher... "Alright class! We're going to play a game! Boys on the left side of the room, and girls on the right." The boys and girls scattered and made their way to their halves of the room. Morgan watched everyone move while she just stood in the middle. She looked back and forth and then ran over to the left. The class went crazy. "What are you doing you dumby?" One of the boys said and pulled on her pigtail. She grabbed it back from him and stepped back. "This is the left, not the right. Go over there!" "Morgan, sweetie, you have to go to the girls side," Mrs Abigail said. "Why?" Morgan asked defiantly. "I don't belong over there." "You're a girl," one of the boys said. "Are you stupid or something?" "Tommy! That's rude." Tommy pushed Morgan from behind. "Go to your side!" Morgan stood up and pushed him back. "This is my side!" She yelled back. Tommy pushed her again. She growled. "We just want to play, you idiot!" "Left hook!" Morgan yelled at the top of her lungs, and acted accordingly. -o- "Tommy's stupid, I hate Tommy." Morgan looked over at her uncle, pouting. "He was being mean to me! He called me names." She kept looking at her uncle. "I saaaid Tommy's stupid and mean." She dropped her pout. "Grunkle Stan?" Stan sighed. "What were you thinking? Why did you punch him in the face?" Morgan looked surprised. He...he wasn't taking her side. "Grunkle Stan! He was being mean and stupid. He pushed me! I had to punch him!" "Why didn't you just go to the other side?" Morgan groaned and crossed her arms. "Again with the stupid sides! I don't want to go over to the other side. I'm not a girl." Stan frowned and looked at her. "What do you mean you're not a girl? Of course you're a girl." "No I'm not! I don't like being called a girl. It doesn't feel right." She was back to pouting. The old man sighed again. "Alright kid," he said ruffling her hair. "No more punching boys in the face, got it?" "Not even Tommy?" "Especially not Tommy." -o- When Morgan turned 10, she had her first sleepover with Candy and Grenda. The three of them were close since the first day they met, but even as they got older, Morgan felt out of place with them. Even still, she went along with it when they dragged her to Candy's house for a sleepover. "Morgan," Candy said, crossing her arms. "You have not told us who you have a crush on. We know you like someone." Apparently that's was all girls said, no matter how much they insist they don't like anyone. It turned out, Grenda like Jason from elementary school who still sort of smells like wet dog, and Candy was interested in an overly confident ginger kid named Jeffery. "Come on, girl! Spill it!" Grenda yelled. The brunet felt herself cringe. "I don't really have any interest in boys," Morgan said, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "I think girls are far superior." Grenda and Candy exchanged glances. "But you have to like some boy," Candy insisted. "What about Tommy? He is a nice boy." "Are you kidding me?" Morgan said, uncurling her legs. "He was a jerk in elementary school. I punched him in the face." Candy leaned over and whispered something in Grenda's ear. Morgan could feel her face heat up and she started curling herself in again. Her breathing felt weird and her heartbeat started to speed up. What were they saying? Are they talking about me? "Morgan, are you a lesbian?" Grenda said after a short period of time. "What? No! Seriously?" She stood up and grabbed at the ends of her hair. "What? What would you ask that?" "Well you are not interested in any boys," Candy said. "And you were really tomboyish in elementary school," Grenda added. "It just makes sense." Morgan grabbed the front of her shirt. Her heart was hammering in her ears and her breathing was off. "I..no! I'm not- I'm not a lesbian! Ugh! I can't do this!" She grabbed her phone and ran down the hall, stepping into the bathroom and locking herself in. She sat down in front of the door and gripped her phone tight. The front of her shirt found it's way into her mouth at some point. How could they say that? She asked herself, feeling tears slide down her cheeks. Am I really a lesbian? No...no I'm not...I'm a... She opened her phone and dialled her uncle's number. I'm a... "Hey sweetie, everything okay?" "N-no...please come get me..." The line went dead and her phone fell into her lap. "I'm a boy," she whispered to herself. Morgan pushed her palms across her cheeks and stood up. Her hands were shaky and she felt sick to her stomach. A boy? But what did that mean? She hiccupped, and wiped her eyes again. She was a girl? Wasn't she? It sure didn't feel that way. She left the bathroom five minutes later when she heard Candy's mom call out to her. Morgan didn't look at Candy or Grenda, but she was thankful that they'd packed up all of her stuff for her. At least they knew what to do. She walked down the stairs and slipped her bare feet in a pair of beat up red converse. She smiled slightly at the sight of her great-uncle standing at the door. "Thank you for having me, Mrs Chiu," Morgan said quietly. "Feel better soon," she replied with a choppy Korean accent. Morgan just nodded and walked outside in her pajama's, slinging her bag over her shoulder. She walked over to the car as fast as possible and tossed her bag into the back before crawling into the front seat. She watched briefly as her uncle talked to Candy's mom, then clicked her seatbelt into place and curled up, burying her face into her knees. She thought she was nearly cried out when Stan finally got into the car. "Everything okay?" He asked carefully. "I just want to go home," she said, sniffling. "Please."