oozey mess
The Bowery Presents
Monterey Bay Aquarium
pixel skylines
Sweet Seals For You, Always
$LAYYYTER
trying on a metaphor
Sade Olutola
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Cosimo Galluzzi
Love Begins
sheepfilms
KIROKAZE
almost home
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
ellievsbear
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official daine visual archive
Misplaced Lens Cap
seen from Senegal
seen from Chile
seen from Poland
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seen from Argentina
seen from Malaysia
seen from Philippines
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@seramilla
Master Post!
Master list of major characters, ships, story concepts/AUs, and other relevant tags in the Seramilla-verse.
Latest Update: March 19, 2025
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Hazbin Hotel
Helluva Boss
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I need bratty bottom Carmilla
"You didn't even try to speak to me!"
Sera looks up at the woman suddenly manifesting in her office, a swirling vortex of bubbles surrounding both herself and Emily. The smaller angel looks frantic, trailing behind the tall, imposing figure of Carmilla Carmine, the weapons dealer shooting metaphorical daggers at the High Seraphim.
"I'm sorry, Sera!" Emily says, ducking her head behind Carmilla sheepishly. "I was making a delivery to the hotel, and she cornered me, and insisted Charlie call in her favor, so I would bring her here, and...!"
Still reeling from seeing this particular individual imposing herself upon her realm, Sera holds her hand up, willing Emily to calm and slow down.
"It's all right, Emily," Sera says. "I might...have a notion as to what this is about. You may leave. Make sure no one else enters."
Emily nods frantically, re-opening her portal and whispering another quiet "Sorry!" before closing it swiftly behind her.
Sera stands, looking equal parts mortified, shocked, and awestruck. Her former partner, her confidante, her lover, back in the Heavenly realm, waltzing back into Sera's office after, what, 1000 years? Has it really been that long since Carmilla was forced out of this place?
By the Speaker, how time flies when your entire universe is shattered and everything you know and love is taken from you in an instant. Sera still remembers the way Carmilla cried for her...begged her to come with her...
But how...
"How are you here?" Sera asks, stopping directly in front of Carmilla, who looks like she wants to tear Sera limb from limb with those absolutely massive claws of hers. Has she always had those? Sera can't remember.
"You were in Hell!" Carmilla ignores her question, shouting with a large, deadly finger just inches from Sera's face. "How dare you put Emily's life in danger? Then have the gall to come and fetch her personally, without even looking my way? Without even acknowledging me! How dare you!"
"Wait," Sera stutters, being drawn out of her reverie by the implication of Carmilla's question. Was Carmilla there...when Charlie and Emily...when the weapon...?
"Answer me!"
"No, you answer me first!" Sera responds, coming back to herself. "How are you here? You were banished! You shouldn't be able to get through. The holiness of the gates should have stopped you."
"That's for me to know and you to find out," Carmilla says brusquely, uncharacteristically vicious in the way she growls at being dared to justify her presence. "I saw you. I know you saw me, too. I gave my essence to stop that weapon, right along with your sister, and there's no way you didn't know I helped her!"
"Carmilla..."
"Shut up!"
"I didn't. Carmilla, I swear to you, I didn't! Vox cut us off completely. I didn't know anything of Emily's plight, or yours, until Pentious brought communications back online. I had no idea you were there."
"I said stop talking!"
Carmilla raises her leg, bringing her foot down so hard, it shatters the marble tiles beneath her. The angelic steel she's wearing clangs against the hard surface, echoing painfully in Sera's ears.
Sera hardly notices. She's too busy shattering herself, her heart breaking all over again at the disbelief on Carmilla's face.
"How am I supposed to believe you?" Carmilla asks, glaring at Sera with so much sorrow, it borders on being painful. For both women. "You left me down there. To rot. And when you fucking dare show your face again, you don't even acknowledge me! Mierda, all you had to do was look!"
Sera is done with this. She's exhausted, still trying to make sense of how this woman isn't currently being burned to a crisp by her holy grace, and can't possibly think straight with this fallen angel screaming at her about something she couldn't possibly have known.
Before Carmilla can chastise her again, Sera steps forward. The Seraphim advances quickly, not giving Carmilla time to react before she is shoved against the chamber doors behind her. Their impact echos throughout the room, threatening to alert anyone who may be passing by.
Carmilla looks up. And up. Up at Sera. She's not glaring this time. In fact, Carmilla looks rather perplexed. Shocked, even. Because Sera is now shooting visual daggers right back down at her.
Sera had forgotten how small Carmilla is compared to her. How loud, and opinionated, and bossy she had been in her youth. How Sera had let her get away with everything short of murder. How she had pushed, and pushed, and tested Heaven's limits, until Sera couldn't protect her anymore. She was almost as bad as Lucifer, for Speaker's sake.
And yet...
Sera had still loved her. Bratty, bossy, entitled little archangel that she'd been, until Carmilla had been so violently ripped away from her.
It had been Sera’s fault. She should have seen Carmilla on that day in battle, when the weapon threatened to blow all Hell to kingdom come, but she'd been too focused on Emily. Fine. All right. She'll concede that point.
She may be a literal pillar of creation, but not even the High Seraphim of Heaven can turn back time. If she could, neither of them would have been in this mess.
"I see you now," Sera points out, crowding Carmillla even tighter against the door, until there's barely an atom of distance between herself and the other woman. Sera’s wings fan out behind her, providing an artificial shield for them both.
Sera’s hand circles Carmilla's neck; not roughly, just enough that a thumb resting softly against her cheek coaxes the fallen angel’s eyes upward. Carmilla tries to look away, whining slightly in discomfort at the substantial weight pushing her against the door. Sera lightly adjusts Carmilla’s chin to maintain eye contact. Carmilla had wanted it. There's no way she's letting her shy away now.
"I'm looking now, Carmilla. You have my full and undivided attention, just like you requested. Don't make me ask again...why are you here? What do you want from me?"
To anyone in Hell, it might look as if Carmilla Carmine was done for. The way Sera has her trapped against the door, cowering before the angel, hand at her neck. The other Overlords might call her any number of things: prisoner, victim, casualty of Heaven. Carmilla’s as good as dead, as if she had one of her own weapons at her throat.
They might be right. Even when Carmilla’s gigantic claw grasps at Sera’s relatively small hand, drawing her even closer, if that were possible. When a pair of gossamer wings sprouts from her back, thin and gray from decades, even centuries of misuse. Carmilla flaps them once, twice, three times, trying to lift herself higher toward Sera’s face, but it’s fruitless. She whimpers in frustration when it doesn’t work.
Practice makes perfect, and Carmilla finds herself so out of practice.
Sera’s other hand grabs at the base of Carmilla’s wings. She has only a single pair, and hers are much more fragile than Sera’s. Carmilla yelps when the Seraphim pulls her upward by her mistreated appendages. Not forcefully or roughly, but with enough authority to remind Carmilla who she is.
Sera holds Carmilla’s wings together in one hand, keeping the smaller woman from flapping or fidgeting in her grasp. The feathers at Carmilla’s back lilt in a way that lets Sera know Carmilla hasn’t used them in a long time. She might cry about that, if she wasn’t currently trying to make a point.
“You can tell me, my love,” Sera says, voice much softer now. “Just say it”
Carmilla’s eyes widen at the old pet name. She groans again, letting Sera know this particular line of questioning is working on her.
“You. I just wanted to see you,” Carmilla finally says, twisting weakly in Sera’s grasp in a feigned effort to get away. “I wanted you to see me, and miss me, the way I missed you. Is that so wrong?”
Something starts to ache in the place where Sera’s heart would be, if she had one. It feels like a chasm has opened beneath her, attempting to swallow her whole. She feels like she’s falling in place, while her feet are still planted firmly on the ground. She opens her mouth to say something, but there are no words to be found there.
Thankfully, Carmilla doesn’t wait for her to respond. She takes advantage of the momentary slack at the base of her wings and launches herself forward, grabbing onto Sera’s shoulders. Their lips smash together in a frenzy of tongue and teeth. Sera stumbles back a few steps, catching Carmilla around the waist before she drops her.
Carmilla pulls away, starts necking at Sera’s throat, like a goddamned teenager. Sera takes a moment to catch her breath, gasping aloud, before pulling Carmilla’s mouth back to hers. Like fuck would she allow this woman to leave marks on her after all this time. Not when Heaven and Hell are this close to making an alliance.
One thing at a time.
“I did miss you,” Sera says firmly, confidently, so Carmilla can never question her motives again. She pulls away to let Carmilla know she is serious. “I promise, I had no idea you were there. You could have told Emily. Discretely. She would have delivered your message in confidence.”
Carmilla acts as if she doesn’t hear Sera. Her mouth may as well be permanently attached to the Seraphim’s face, with how little she’s allowing Sera to speak.
“Let’s discuss this later, cariño,” Carmilla interrupts, breathless. “I have 1000 years of this to make up for, and I'm not feeling very patient.”
Well. Who is Sera to argue with that logic?
“Don’t you dare drop me,” Carmilla says, eyes sharpening as Sera adjusts the smaller woman’s body against her.
“I would never,” Sera says, a litle more cocky than is average for her. She takes hold of Carmilla’s wings again, leans her back against the door, and reminds the Overlord exactly what she’s been missing out on.
Since it's mother's day in the US wondering if you might do a post about Carmilla's and Sera's relationship with mothers day in your human AU, since we know about Seras rough upbringing and that Carmilla's relationship with her mother is complicated from your Christmas post.
Carmilla and Sera's feelings about Mother's Day are both exceedingly...complicated.
Sera basically never had a mother, as far as she's concerned, so the concept of dedicating an entire day to the person who birthed her seems excessive and unnecessarily cruel. Yes, she's Emily's mother figure, but she's never gone out of her way to even acknowledge the holiday. The only reason Emily found out about it was because of the children at school, making their mothers crude drawings or other works of art during craft time in class, and forcing Sera to have that inevitable conversation much sooner than she'd like.
Ironically, Carmilla doesn't particularly celebrate the holiday, either. Her mother was the complete opposite of Sera's -- present, yes, but as the matriarch of a devoutly religious household, she ran a rigid, no-nonsense ship. Any step out of line on Carmilla's part usually meant stern lectures long into the night or extra "volunteer" opportunities at the church on Sundays, which she despised with every fiber of her being. Her girls attend the same private school Carmilla had gone to all those years ago, but that's about the only similarity to her own upbringing that she allows for Odette and Clara.
All of this to say that the incredibly awkward feeling -- when after school all three girls inevitably bring home elaborate gifts for their respective Mother's Days and lavish their maternal influences with undue attention -- it is extremely mutual.
Odette and Clara receive a generous allowance, thus Carmilla has more scented candles, potpourri, and random assortments of perfume than she knows what to do with. Those usually get stuffed in an upstairs closet, and once or twice a year, she'll bring out a candle and light it during a special occasion, to not allow her girls one second of disappointment. Likewise, Sera has more drawings, water color paintings, and macaroni art from Emily than is possible to keep hidden. Those get pride of place on the family fridge, at least long enough for Emily to bring home another new masterpiece to replace it or cover it up.
This Mother's Day is no different, except this time, Carmilla and Sera wallow in mutual discomfort together. They are constant companions in this exercise of maternal mourning. Dealing with that kind of trauma while raising children isn't easy.
But it is absolutely NOT Odette, Clara, or Emily's fault -- don't get it twisted. Both women have done everything to ensure their girls' lead much happier, much more fulfilling lives than the two of them were allowed. That doesn't mean that sense of dread doesn't crawl down each of their throats when three tiny voices shout "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!" at the top of their lungs before dinner that night. It doesn't stop the clouds of what-might-have-beens from hanging overhead, preventing both Carmilla and Sera from just enjoying the moment to the fullest, instead of dwelling too long about a stupid date on a stupid calendar.
"It's lovely, girls," Carmilla says, face full of smiles and genuine affection for the mess of crafts and confectionaries scattered across the kitchen. "Thank you so much for making today special." Sera doesn't know how Carmilla does it. The businesswoman's poker face is a million times more effective than hers. It takes everything in Sera just to keep her expression neutral, when what she'd rather be doing after a long day of work is hiding herself away in the guest room, crying and eating the entire box of chocolates Odette bought for her mother.
Dinner is eaten. Messes are sorted. Eventually, the girls tucker out, and Sera proceeds with the nightly ritual of getting three young women off to bed and full of way too much sugar and dreams of what tomorrow brings, none the wiser about the individual tortures their caretakers had just been through.
Sera whines. Literally whines, before plopping down on the bed next to Carmilla that night. Carmilla has to drag the taller woman's feet onto the bed herself, because Sera has turned into a wet noodle the moment her face touches the welcoming mattress.
"How do you do it, Carmilla?" Sera's muffled question can be heard through several layers of silk sheets and an expensive mattress topper. "How do you get through this holiday without all the fucking guilt?"
Hearing Sera curse would normally amuse Carmilla to no end, but on this particular day, it's a sign of just how tired Sera is. Carmila tosses her robe onto the floor, not bothering to aim for the hanger on her bedroom door. She pulls her exhausted partner the rest of the way up the bed to lie next to her, head on plush pillows already scented with Clara's stinky perfume from Carmilla's loose hair.
Lord, if Sera wasn't so fucking tired, she'd be all over Carmilla right now. But the pillows are soft, and Carmilla's chest is just so warm and inviting. She can't even lift her head up.
"It's a mystery to me, as well, cariño," Carmilla answers before settling in beside her. "I promised myself the day they were born that I would be a better mother than the one I had. That doesn't make the complicated feelings go away. It doesn't make it any less difficult."
Sera wants to fall asleep, but her brain is a chicken-wire tapestry of annoyance and less-than-stellar moments of Mother's Days past. Instead, she stares into the fabric of Carmilla's nightgown in her direct line of sight, thinking of the magnitude of her partner's words, and also how morbidly funny it is they get to bond over the same trauma.
Sera sighs.
"As long as you're here with me," Sera says softly, warm breath ghosting over the bare skin of Carmilla's clavicle. She settles deeper into the other woman's arms, rather selfishly. "I can do difficult. When you're by my side....I feel like I can do anything."
Carmilla grunts, cheeks darkening pink at the compliment. She's struck dumb at Sera's honesty for a moment. Tries to think of something supportive to say. How happy she is. How proud she is of Sera, after all she's been through.
She would have said those things, if Sera had been awake to hear the words. But before Carmilla can utter a one, the other woman is already fast asleep in her arms, humming contentedly as she digs even into deeper into Carmilla's side, dreaming of hopefully better, brighter, and more joyous days ahead.
There’s so much discourse over canon sexualities since the merch drop and it’s quite concerning.
Abel is an ally. Baxter may or may not be trans. Emily is either pan or queer and the latter is being accused of not being a “real” identity.
This is a sapphic Hazbin blog, so I’m only going to speak on Emily. Regardless of whether she’s intended to be queer or pansexual, at the end of the day, both identities for her are valid. People are allowed to feel a certain way about characters they love, but I trust wherever Emily settles, Viv will make the right choice for her character.
There are way too many people who don’t fit conveniently under one label or haven’t found the right one yet, and it’s so important we recognize queer Emily (and even Baxter) representation can be just as important as all the pan characters in the Hellaverse.
It’s okay to not know who you are yet, and to also choose inclusive labels for yourself when you don’t fit inside a convenient box. It can be permanent or temporary and that’s perfectly normal and valid.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Emily made that choice for herself, and Sera accepted her, and the fandom did, too?
So the preview image of the Heaven pride float standee (not the full-size one) shows Emily may have actually been pan? And they changed it?
My gaydar never misses because what do you mean I was right again?
Edit: For clarification, if you are viewing the item page and select the stock for the Heaven pride standee, the preview image for the Vees standee randomly changes to the Heaven standee with a pan Emily variant.
I know Carmilla is normally portrayed as strong and in-command, and Sera as meek and unsure of herself, but consider:
Sera the service top and Carmilla the bratty bottom.
One who is normally worshipped doing the worshipping, and the other who is normally in command learning to relinquish that control to the only person she trusts to give it.
In this essay I will
Okay hear me out:so you how lucifer's arms are black, there's a theory that posits it burns from his fall from heaven. What if the marking around carmilla's eyes are the same a burn from her fall from heaven?
I’ve said from day one I think Carmilla’s dark eye “mask” is likely a remnant angelic trait. Just look at the Speaker’s eyes. Carmilla’s look like a more exaggerated/demonic version of that.
I think there’s something to this but I can’t prove it.
One step closer to the big reveal that Sera is fallen-angel Carmilla’s first love. Someone push me all the way down these delulu stairs.
New headcanon: Emily’s sexuality/romantic orientation is fluid and she doesn’t like to be defined by labels. She also loves her subjects so much that she doesn’t want any of them to feel left out. As an immortal being and Seraphim of Joy, she can, and has, felt every type of love there is to experience.
I am never going to shut up about Sera being a lesbian. 😭 This is all I’ll be thinking about for the foreseeable future.
I was almost certain Emily would be pan, but her being canonically unlabeled queer is actually fitting. She and Sera have probably both been super sheltered and closeted. We may get to watch them discover their sexualities organically.
(Unless Sera had a sapphic relationship in the past and that’s why hers is more clearly defined….)
LESBIAN SERA!!!
I KNEW IT!
I KNEW IT!
I TOLD YA’LL!
LETS’S GOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I found a picture of Carmilla's voice actor, Daphne Rubin Vega, online and used the outfit as a reference.
Haven’t posted in a while. One of my senior cats was sick and she finally went over the rainbow bridge last week. Me and my other cat are still mourning, and other than trying to take care of her sister, I’ve been embodying the sin of sloth and doing absolutely nothing. I lost my baby and best friend in an afternoon and it still doesn’t feel real.
I miss having a furry little creature curled up in my lap when I’m working or writing. 😭 I didn’t realize how much I loved it until she was gone.
I hope if Heaven exists, my girl is up there frolicking and playing with the other kitties. And the pangolins.
Go hug your pets right now. I don’t care what you’re doing. Go! Right now!!!
Spent a lot of time today reading back on my old posts here, side-eyeing all the asks still trapped in my inbox, and trying to figure out how I want to handle all that. I want 2026 to finally be the year that I write and finish my fallen Carmilla/Seramilla origin story. Season 2 instilled in me even more that there’s something going on with them. Something that needs to be fleshed out.
But doing more of that personal project means less time for other things, including all the AUs in the inbox. I want to keep responding to them, but I also want to create the thing thats been in my head for almost 2 years, and with Season 2, there’s even more to work with.
I am sure I will figure it out. But until then, I’m choosing to summon the spirits of Carmilla and Sera on this hallowed day. You know Carmilla is probably still working her ass off by herself while everyone else has gone home, because she thinks Sinsmas is stupid. Sera probably celebrates the actual human Christmas in Heaven but she doesn’t really enjoy participating in the parties Emily and St. Peter put on, so she also spends a lot of time in her office, doing who knows what. Pining for the good old days, probably. Carmilla’s daughters/Pentious check in on them frequently, though.
Anyway, merry Christmas/Sinsmas/whatever heathen holiday you celebrate!
Carmilla has been setting up a lot of mistletoe this Christmas now that Sera is staying. Sera assumes this is how she normally decorates and doesn't want to bring it up assuming it means nothing and not wanting to make things awkward. Carmilla knows damn well isn't how she normally decorates and is hoping Sera picks up her hints.
I think Sera is definitely picking up on her hints. Things between them aren’t quite official and Sera is still in denial, but she is also trying to walk that fine line between friendly and professional. And also trying to keep her own feelings in check around the woman currently giving her a place to live.
Carmilla isn’t helping by putting mistletoe in doorways that she knows Sera has to walk through to get to certain areas of the house. Sera will just see it hanging in the kitchen doorway, for example, when she comes down to take coffee in the morning. Carmilla will already be there, having already made the coffee, giving Sera a sly grin, daring her to walk through that doorway and join her.
Sera is initially pretty flustered, but Carmilla’s house is huge. Most common rooms have more than one entrance, so Sera will look her dead in the eye, knowing what she’s up to, and then backtrack through the hallway, through the living room, back into the dining room, and then through the kitchen’s second entryway, thinking she’s outsmarted her hostess….before she is met with mistletoe again at the next doorway.
Sera, thwarted! Round goes to Carmilla!
Carmilla gives her a shit-eating grin. Carmilla isn’t sure what’s come over herself. Normally she’s not this flirty with people, but something about seeing Sera constantly conflicted about her feelings brings something feral out of her.
Sera doesn’t kiss her; not yet. But she gives up fighting and joins Carmilla for coffee. Carmilla tries to hide her laughter (rather unsuccessfully) behind her hand and Sera just sits there mortified and frustrated (for many different reasons….one being that she really fucking wants to kiss her but she’s still a hopeless lesbian….story of her life).
So since at the time of writing it is December I was thinking of some human au Christmas time stuff so let's assume that it's after Sera and Emily move in with Carmilla but before they make it permanent and Carmilla in her attempt to make Sera stay is going all out.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, Sera Espinosa doesn't consider herself to be a "festive" person.
Sure, there was a time when Emily was very young, where every new holiday was chaotic, fresh, and exciting, and Sera allowed herself periodic episodes of momentary whimsy, getting to see the world through the eyes of an over-excited little girl.
Fireworks during New Year's were a wondrous delight. Trick-or-treating during Halloween was a messy, sugary recipe for chaos as Emily wound down from her sugar high. Thanksgiving was a pleasant affair, one that Sera appreciated more for the time she got to spend with Emily as a family, even as tiny and dysfunctional as they were.
Christmas, on the other hand...is a holiday that Sera has no particular fondness for.
For Sera, as a child, there was no Santa Claus. No fancy decorations, no tree, no presents. Practically zero effort on her parents' part to make the day more special than any other day of the year.
To her credit, even with her lack of experience, Sera had tried to do the Santa Clause thing with Emily. Really, she had! She's never been the best at lying to her little sister, but Sera did try. She was given a modest tree by the church. Decorated it with ornaments from various swap meets and yard sales. Made sure there were at least a handful of presents underneath it each year, even if she had to get a seasonal job to afford such little luxuries.
It wasn't her fault her sister was so damn smart.
At age four, Emily played along. Did her best to act surprised, and showed herself to be eternally grateful for the brand-new doll, socks, and coloring book "Santa" had left under the tree. That was the first time Sera remembers her sister actually being aware of the significance of the holiday. The first time she ever tried to go all out.
By age five, however, Emily was over it. She planted her feet firmly on the ground, chirping in the most unamused voice that she could muster: "Santa's not real, Sera! I know you bought my presents. I saw them in the closet."
Of course, Sera tried to deny it; saying Santa must have stored them up there for safekeeping. But if Emily is anything, she is so much smarter than most adults give her credit for. It's almost scary how much self awareness the little girl had.
Sera had to abandon the act pretty quickly, and it didn't take long for Christmases in their apartment to become just another reason to stay home and do nothing. Still, Sera always tried to have nice things for Emily to open on Christmas morning. Being able to provide some semblance of normal for her sister around the holidays was the greatest wish of her life.
As Emily got older, she only ever wanted practical things -- books, clothes, art supplies, or surprise tickets to a sporting event when Sera got lucky at a company gift exchange one year. Emily never asked for much, and that worked just fine for Sera. This time of year was always difficult for her mental health as it is. Not having to make it a big deal -- to staying home with Emily for a few days, watching re-runs of their favorite shows, passing one of those big metal tins of miscellaneous popcorn flavors between them -- that was the spirit of the holiday for her little family. Sera never expected it to be any more than that.
Not until Carmilla "Never Learned the Meaning of Subtlety" Carmine walked into her life, and turned all of Sera's expectations about holidays upside down.
Sera and Emily's first Christmas in the Carmine household is truly something to behold. Sera doesn't know why she's surprised at every available surface being decked out in glorious, over-the-top holiday cheer, but it certainly is a culture shock. She's never been exposed to this much...muchness.
To start, the tree is gigantic. A floor-to-vaulted ceiling monstrosity that Sera isn't certain how Carmilla even fit through the front door in the first place. Much like her own aesthetic, most of the decorations are professional, practical colors, trading the gaudy greens and reds of the season for a much more visually pleasing silver and gold. The tree has it all -- ball ornaments, fake candles, sparkling lights, and even a few hand-made ornaments Clara and Odette brought home over the years.
Carmilla had spared no expense decorating the rest of the huge house, as well. Sera never clocked Carmilla for the religious type, but her hostess' vast Christmas angel collection is ridiculously impressive. There are hanging angels on the walls in the common areas, angel candles and candy dishes on every solid surface, and the most beautiful angel ornament placed at the top of the tree, nearly brushing the high ceiling.
Sera looks up at it, equally in awe and intimidated by it. This Christmas Eve night — sitting on the couch next to Carmilla, hot chocolate in hand, finally settling down after putting three giggly, over-excited girls to bed not even 2 hours earlier — Sera lets herself just relax. This is the first real, festive Christmas she and Emily have ever experienced. She sits in silence, taking it all in.
Carmilla gets up off the couch, moving to stand in front of the tree, with her back to Sera. She's been fussing with the presents under the tree all night long, making certain all the gifts are in their rightful place for when the girls wake up the next morning. The stockings hanging by the fireplace are overstuffed, threatening to rip at the seams, with each girl's name carefully sewn into the fabric with glittery material by a steady, motherly hand.
Carmilla had even made one for Emily, and a lump forms in Sera's throat at the thoughtfulness of it all.
"It's all so beautiful," Sera says suddenly, breaking the relative silence of the room, over the holiday music that's playing on the record player in the corner.
"Hmm?" Carmilla asks, still distracted by getting the presentation of the gifts just right under the tree. Nothing is ever quite good enough for Carmilla's girls. Not until everything is perfect.
"Just...all of this," Sera says. "The decorations, the tree...the angels. I never took you for the...angelic type."
Carmilla doesn't fully turn around, but she half-glances at Sera over her shoulder, a much more somber expression on her face than Sera was expecting.
"They...belonged to my mother. The woman was not a saint by any means, but she was incredibly devout. And brilliant. I respected that about her. We were never close. She had a very different vision for the company than I did, but... having these around... I suppose it makes me feel like we were close. It lets me pretend for a while. That probably sounds incredibly foolish."
"No!" Sera shouts, voice cracking a little more than she intended it to. She hadn't expected such a heartfelt response to her question. "That's not stupid at all. Actually, that's very...relatable."
Carmilla does turn around this time, a surprised look on her face. She heads back toward the couch to sit next to Sera, hands fidgeting in her lap. Sera grips the cooling cup of hot chocolate in her hands, trying her best to meet, and hold, Carmilla's gaze.
Carmilla is intrusively beautiful on a normal day...but on a night like this one, with the light in the room turned down low, and Carmilla's soft eyes and worried cheekbones limned by candlelight and golden decorations...her beauty is even more otherworldly and profound.
Sera blushes and almost looks away, but she tampers that awkward feeling down. She and Carmilla are having a moment. She doesn't want to ruin it.
"It's just...I know how you feel? I never had a relationship with either of my parents, and we didn't celebrate anything. When I got custody of Emily, I tried so hard to make Christmas special. She never really got into it like other children, but we made it our own. It let me pretend that, just for a little while, this was the way it had always been. It was always just us, celebrating together. It made up for all the times I had no one else."
With Sera's eyes lowering down to her own lap, feeling raw and torn open at that honest admission of her past, Carmilla reaches for Sera's shoulder. The taller woman jumps in surprise when the matriarch squeezes it assuringly.
"I'm sorry," Carmilla says, all evidence of her own self-pity long gone at hearing Sera's story. "You never should have experienced that. Neither of you deserved it."
To her own surprise, Sera's self-consciousness melts away. She places her own hand atop Carmilla's on her shoulder, looking over to smile at the other woman warmly.
"Don't be. This is the happiest I've ever seen Emily. You've shown her so much generosity and joy. I've never seen her excited to go to bed on Christmas Eve. Thank you...for making it magical. For both of us."
Carmilla's eyes widen, practically sparkling, and it has nothing to do with the lights or decorations glowing all around them.
"O-of course! It has been my greatest honor to have you with us. I only wish I could do more."
Of course, no matter how much Carmilla does for Sera and Emily, she always feels she could do more. Sera finds that so endearing about her. She defies all of Sera's expectation. Her capacity for love, and sharing what she has with the people she cares about, is boundless...
Sera could genuinely kiss the other woman right now, if she didn't think she'd faint from embarrassment. Sera may be falling head over heels for her, but that is her secret, and she might actually die if she gave in to the compulsion.
"You've done more than enough," Sera says, hoping Carmilla can sense her thankfulness, even though she can't look at her right now. Not without focusing on her soft, supple lips, just begging to be touched...
Focus, Sera!
"I-I think I'd better turn in," Sera says, standing. She fumbles a little with her half-empty cup of hot cocoa, now tepid and useless in her grip. She places it on the table. "I want to be ready when the girls wake us up."
Carmilla grins at her knowingly, Sera's awkwardness completely forgotten at the mention of their girls. Carmilla grabs both of their cups, turning toward the kitchen to wash them.
"You should probably wear those ear muffs I bought you," Carmilla teases, calling back to Sera as she exits the room. "Clara and Odette have been known to break the sound barrier with their screaming on Christmas morning. I won't be responsible for any ear-related injuries."
Sera laughs. A genuine, joyful laugh, imagining her sister reacting in the same way to her presents as the other girls. She can hardly wait.
"Noted!" Sera calls back to her, turning toward the stairs, and heading up to her room.
On the way back to her quarters, she passes by Clara's room. Even though Emily has her own room, most nights she chooses to sleep with Sera, or with Clara and Odette. Moving out of their apartment, while an adventure, had been a huge change for Emily, and she often seeks comfort in the middle of the night.
This evening, the girls had all squeezed into the large bunk bed in Clara's room, whispering and giggling between each other until they'd eventually nodded off. When Sera slowly creaks the door open to check on Emily, her sister is sprawled across the top bunk, while Clara and Odette lie alongside each other on the bottom.
One of Emily's feet is hanging off the edge, and she's drooling a little, some of it soaking into the stuffed pangolin cuddled up close to her face. Sera laughs under her breath when Emily mumbles to herself, a goofy grin spread across her face even when fast asleep.
Sera smiles, slowly closing the door behind her. It's almost midnight, so she needs to get to bed herself, before the girls undoubtedly awaken her bright and early within the next few hours.
"Good night, my little dove," Sera whispers, forehead leaned against the sturdy wood of the bedroom door. "Sweet dreams."
I commissioned this gorgeous piece from @tanema123 for a new blog banner. I wanted a flirty Sera, and Tan did not disappoint! I love it so much!
If only Carmilla had stayed long enough during the finale for a possible interaction. Maybe this is how their reunion would go (once Sera sees Carmilla in that fit)!
