Bear Witness Unto Me @seraphim-soulmate - Tumblr Blog

welcome to my blog! tags listed are so u can more easily navigate my blog bcs tumblr's a broken website

if you're wondering why I commented something on your 1 note post, I just do that. I don't have a good explanation aside from a desire for human connection.

#personal #me #my face #my pics #my art #disability #chronic pain #art #autism #mental health #furry #dbt skills #dbt #clothes #sewing inspo #fit ref #art ref #beanie babies #gender

drill-teeth-art

Wow! Here’s something incredibly personal.

This is Good Bi Gender. A comic I made to express some feelings I have about my gender. I don’t really have that much else to say about it. Here it is.

[Image Description: A digital comic made with sharp, angular abstract lines and only the colors white, blue, pink, and black. The featured character is all white, except for facial features and hair colors, which changes from panel to panel. The comic reads: Cover Panel: The text “Good Bi Gender”, the words colored with the trans flag. It shows a glitchy person’s face, half pink and half blue. Panel 1: White text reads: “Hello. My name is apparently irrelevant. And my pronouns are he/him and she/her. But you can’t call me she/her. And here’s why.” Someone with a half-pink and half-blue shirt looks to the side. One eye is covered with hair, and the other eye is pink while the iris is blue.

Panel 2: The character sits happily, imagining facial hair and a masculine voice. “I don’t want top surgery. I love my chest. And I dream about being on testosterone someday soon.” The character looks at a phone, frowning. The phone shows the male symbol with an “X” through it. Text next to it reads: “People don’t seem to think that the features I dream of are very pretty though… Or they think even worse of them than that…”

Panel 3: The character’s features are all pink, and sits in a blank frame. The character reaches over to a blue frame, frowning. “I don’t like the animosity. I really despise it.” A photo of the character shows an all-blue frame and blue hair, with pink outlines and facial features. “To be a boy… I aspire to be one. I aspire to be masculine in all its handsomeness. All its prettiness.” Panel 4: The character sits in an all blue panel, but reaches back out to the pink panel. “And I’m still a girl too. I was so excited to have both. To love both. To have handsome femininity. Beautiful masculinity.” The frames break and connect, and pink and blue swirl together. The character smiles in between the frames, with one pink eye and one blue eye. “So excited. And yet I get asked…”

Panel 5: Two hands hold out two different pills to the character, one blue and one pink. They ask “Male? or Female?” using the male and female symbols.The character, facial features an array of pink and blue, looks between the two hands, distressed. “It’s both! I’m both! They’re not opposites. Not narrow boxes. I say I’m both despite the insistence that I can’t be. And I know what I look like. I know I look like a girl to most. I know that if I say people can call me she, that’s all I will get from most. Because it’s “easier”. It “makes more sense”. To have my masculinity, I am often forced to be unflinching in it and it alone. To never use she. Because if I don’t, I will never get to have he.” [The words “she” and “he” are italicized.] Panel 6: Text reads: “I’m still very happy to be so comfortable in my identity. To know, despite all that, that I am indeed a boy and a girl and both. But you know. Telling people to only use he/him for me. Guarding my masculinity all just to have it. All at the expense of the part of me who is happily and unashamedly a girl.” The character cries from one pink eye, the other hidden. The character holds a pink girl in a sea of blue, the girl crying out. In the midst of the blue, text reads: “Well, it fucking breaks her heart.” End ID]

Edit: @starberry-skies wrote an ID for the comic, so I added it to the og post with its permission!

#I chose to come out as a trans man to relatives so they would gender me correctly and for them to grasp the concept #and little by little. to those who were able to grasp at least ''being transgender'' and were willing to use he/him pronouns.#I expanded on what my gender really meant to me #unfortunately this did not work so well for my relatives in the US who still had a very rigid and binary view of gender #and unfortunately ultimately backfired on me. sucks to make yourself vulnerable and known only to suffer for it.#so to most strangers now I'm just a guy #to new acquaintances. I'm just a guy.#maybe I'm a guy who wears dresses and has boobs and a beard. and maybe that's hard for them to understand.#but at least here and in the circles I frequent my pronouns are still respected #I think my gender expression would be vastly stifled if I lived in the US #to those who know me. to friends. I am a guy and a girl and so much more. but mostly I'm a person. and their friend.#I don't really think much about gender anymore. I don't tend to label it when I'm thinking privately. except for transgender.#the only thing I know for a fact is that the gender and expectations of it assigned to me at birth are not true to me #and tbh that's enough for me. i don't feel much of a need anymore to dig deeper than that.#it's just maddening and makes me feel unhinged when a family member doesn't even try #the transphobia levels in the US rose quickly and violently over a period of a couple years

buckskinboots

Bronze Age Petroglyphs in Trialeti, Georgia. Found on rock massifs in the gorge of the Avdari River near the town of Tsalka.

#Georgia mention !!!

I need to shower I so stinky but the barrier to entry soooo high (having to get naked, then wet, then dry, then dressed again)

#personal #me #disability #kinda. well I guess quite a lot really.#and then I have to stand there and wash myself and keep pressing the damn button for the water ughhhhhhhhh

bookgeekconfessions

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Keep reading

croaksac

HUGE developments in the big silly baby wearing fluffy pajamas fandom:

Oregon Zoo 05/30/26: This flouf is one of 15 healthy California condor chicks to hatch at our conservation center this season. A new record! #Condorable #KeepCalmAndCarrion

#yaaassssssss #let's save the condor !!!!!!#I hope I'm correctly remembering that they're endangered but have been making steady progress via conservation

draconym

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

jackawful

to this day "who is allowed to be angry" has been an incredible benchmark for teasing out who, in abusive situations with mutual accusations and DARVO happening, is being abusive and who is being abused. one of my favorite resources about this, the Creative Interventions Toolkit, phrases the question "who sets the weather?" in the relationship and I think about it so so often when I think about my own childhood. I was parentified in a way that set me up for future abusive relationships, because I had to soothe my parents' anger while not being allowed to feel angry myself. I am extremely grateful to everyone outside myself - friends, therapists, partners - who's gotten angry on my behalf about how I'm treated or let me know something I'd been excusing or blaming myself for was actually Not Okay. I guess the good news here is that it's possible to learn how to access anger again in a healthy way, it just takes support, like doing physical therapy for a muscle that didn't develop quite right.

draconym

I relate so strongly to this.

This is not to say that feeling anger is abusive; it's human to feel anger. But if you've ever felt like your anger was "unjustified" or were afraid to express it outwardly because you expected it to be dismissed ... ask yourself how you would react if the roles were reversed. I find that a lot of folks who were The Grown Up in a relationship with their parents hold themselves to much different standards than they hold other people.

I've seen plenty of situations that involve two or more people hurting each other and not admitting any fault because they want to protect their own egos. But. Notice when you think you're not entitled to be upset about something. When someone tells you you shouldn't be upset. There's a difference between taking your anger out on other people and just. Being allowed to feel angry.

#abuse #I definitely need external validation that my anger is justified in situations #and when ppl come back at me with nuance or playing devil's advocate instead I really need to make it clear I'm looking for validation #but my feelings are already hurt and now I'm upset with that person for what feels like siding with the person who wronged me #thus. wronging me additionally via proxy.#it's like yeah I did consider that maybe they're having a hard time. it doesn't justify their actions towards ME tho.#like why have I become the target of your frustrations? actually I don't deserve this behavior.#I did nothing purposefully wrong with intent to hurt you. yet you are purposefully and knowingly hurting me.#< this is all in relation to my roommates doing some fuckshit behind my back #and now it's my job to figure out their actual motivations behind it and to find the best way to speak to get the results I want from them #like yeah let me just learn how to see from an allistic pov so I can understand what went wrong here #I need an autistic translator tbh

awakefor48hours

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

#it's become so widely accepted now that IM the weird one for not using it #like my psychiatrist is using it (scary bad).#my social worker used it to generate a meal prep week for me after I told her quite outright that I do not use or condone the use of ChatGPT #but it was just like. a week of meals in a chart. not even recipes. not taking into consideration cost or nutritional value or preference.#sometimes the Sims friendship meter is real in a way that you can physically and visibly react to something someone said #in a way that VERY much denotes -1 connection point

eggsdoodz

taking each day as it comes…

bovineblogger

hii just in case u didnt know: im fat! and i love my life!

being fat is okay! you can be happy and fat! kill the weight watchers sales rep in your head!

signed, barley. i love you ❤️ fat liberation now!

#omg I missed this post somehow!!! so happy to see you !!!! ❤️#I love the overalls !!!

redtsundere-pngs

color-transparent vintage tech :3

#I need to eat them badly

redtsundere-pngs

Thanks for the 10k followers! I know I have been a bit gone for a while, but I'm glad I still have this small space where I can share some of my favorite internet finds with ya'll :3