Midnight glow .:.

Where the hollow mind comes to rest, so do we. Where darkness embeds itself into your bones, we linger.

[serdtsa]

"Why does he mean so much to you, hm? A mere human, as breakable as a twig and as annoying as a mosquito. What about him garners such fierce protectiveness in you? Or perhaps you are simply an animal guarding your food."

Why. Gwangmin has asked himself that too, many times over. And the question puts him off for a moment. He’s not sure how to answer, maybe because he never really has answered such a question before. But when his lips finally part for words, they are many and quick — speaking until he runs out of breath. 

“He means this much to me because he’s the only one who really listens to me, who cares for me unconditionally. He’s the first person I have dared to open myself up to entirely, the only one I’ll ever tell about the things that happened to me when I was a kid. And don’t you fucking dare take the only person that I actually can say I love away from me. I won’t let you! I might be young, but if I have to give everything that I am to make sure he’s safe I will. I won’t even hesitate. So fuck off!” 

[serdtsa]

"Do you know what's fun about the young, my dear fledgling? If plucked at a certain ripeness, they can endure quite a bit and will refuse to fall so easily. And with the adoration the child has for you, you yourself can be quite the weapon. So long as he thinks you are in harms way, he will do whatever I ask. Even if it means injury to him. Isn't that sweet?"

      His expression is blank for almost an entire minute. Thoughts spinning out of hand as brows lower. Gwangmin has never been one to bow down to threats, but when it comes to Wonjin, he’s more sensitive. But this? This actually has him on the verge of terrified, sparking his defences, the ice that so easily grows from his palms. 

   The temperature plummets with each flutter of his eyelids, lips parted for breaths that radiate with foreign warmth. 

   “If you ever lay a hand on my Wonjin, I swear on everything that I have ever believed in, that I will hunt you down and I will rip your head off after dislocating every single fucking bone in your body. Don’t you fucking dare, even mention him to me again you filthy scum.”

[tsesarevna]

Nothing has really changed and she’s thankful for that. Pain can make one become a different person but she knows the essence of who they are will always be rooted deep within them. Specially in a vampire’s case. Sometimes it is impossible to change, no matter how long one has been alive. Her thoughts get interrupted by his gentle touches and she smiles in return, conscious of how much she has deprived herself of someone else’s presence in fear of being unable to remain in one piece. Jihoon always manages to comfort her and, at present moment, she feels like she’s back on her feet. At least for now. “No need to apologize. I have been doing the same lately. But today I decided I’d change that and come keep you company.” She releases his hand and walks up to his couch to take a seat, then pats the space beside her. “Tomorrow is Halloween so we could have an early celebration today, if the idea sounds tempting.”

[serdtsa]

   —As much as time has come to harm him, in so many different ways, he hasn’t allowed it to change him all too much. Perhaps his exterior has changed from time to time, but his core is still the same as it has been for the past three hundred years. But oh how he has missed the comfort of her presence. Withdrawing himself now brings regret, upon actually realizing how much she cold have done for him by just being there. She is, the proof of that he will never be entirely alone. “I am glad you did.” Jihoon says, offering her a smile as he moves to take a seat beside her. “I like the sound of that. What manner of celebration are we aiming for, do you think?” He inquires with a raised brow. 

[wexarexorenda-blog]

❝ Saving Grace

@serdtsa

Taesu should have known better, should have felt and acknowledged the tug of the coming storm, should have seen the darkening sky that loomed and threatened overhead. He had always been in tune with the weather, with the refreshing rain and the clash of thunder and lightning, and he should have known. But right before Taesu would have gotten ready for work, Jiho scrambled in through the front door, frantic and panicking over a spirit that had tailed him across half the city while attempting to follow him home. By the time Jiho had calmed enough to release Taesu and latch onto Haneul in his stead, Taesu was ten minutes late, and he still had to get ready. By the time Taesu walked out the door, he was twenty minutes late, and he left at a ran, completely neglecting the umbrella left beside the door.

Now, as the sky opens up and drenches Taesu in wave after cascading wave, soaking straight through his jacket and outfit to the bone, leaving the boy shivering with each gust of wind, Taesu also realizes with terrible dismay that he’s lost. He’d tried to take a short-cut a coworker had once brought up to him in hopes of saving time on the commute, but instead he finds himself standing in the middle of an empty sidewalk, staring blankly at dark stores and empty windows, unsure where to go and how to get there. But there! A saving grace appears in the form of a dim light down and across the street, and Taesu scrambles toward it without looking back.

The bell that jingles when Taesu pushed open the door is one of the sweetest sounds Taesu has ever heard, a welcome relief from the static whitenoise of the rain on the street. The building is just as nice, warm and welcoming, and Taesu’s shoulders slump with relief as he sags back against the door with a soft, hiccupped sigh. “It’s so warm,” he says, voice a whimper of relief as his eyes flutter shut, body trembling  ever so lightly from the chill of his clothing. “It’s so nice, oh my god…”

[serdtsa]

       — Why he always ends up closing the shop alone is something he can’t quite wrap his head around. Not that eh really minds it, he gets paid for it, but it’s still a lot of work. It takes much longer than it actually needs to. Perhaps the fact that his co-workers aren’t the most oragnized people either should be taken into consideration too. But the fact that he needs to bust his ass of because they seemingly can’t is starting to get a little frustrating. He’s barely allowed to even do sketches and he has been working with them for years. He knows his way around every possible tool and he’s still kept in the back to ‘make sure the colors are in the right place’ or ‘wash the floors back there again because I spilled.’ Gwangmin tries his hardest to see things positively, but today is one of those days where it’s actually difficult. He wants t finish up and go home, sleep or just spend some time talking to Wonjin. Whatever, he just doesn’t want to stay here. 

    But those plans change of course, when the skies seems to just open up entirely. He hasn’t seen a rainstorm quite like this one in a long time, and going home doesn’t seem as tempting anymore. Sure he has his car, but it’s parked two blocks away he will be soaked to the bone before even getting there. “Not gonna do that.” He shakes his head as he finishes up in the front room, heading to the back of the store to make sure everything is in order for tomorrow. Trying to take things slowly, even if there’s not that much left. He’s been rushing for the past hour and a half, much to his own dismay. He sorts up his co-workers’ desks, makes sure everything is neat and clean and in place. Everything to make it easier, and maybe just to earn some plus points. Not that he has ever received any type of praise for the work e actually does, not even a thank you, but he still does it. Because hard work always leads to something good, at least that’s how he has been raised. 

    So he never complains. Because complaining is weakness and Gwangmin isn’t weak. He nods to himself at that thought, smiling a little as he sets a few pencils aside. It’s about then that the bell from the door chimes and alerts his attention. He tenses, because they’re closed. And so is everything else on this street. He curses at himself for not locking the door yet, but it’s just easier to do so when he’s about to leave, rather than locking it and then unlocking it and locking it again. His mind is quick to race out of hand, imagining the worst of scenarios. Murderers are there to get him. He shakes it off with a snort. Either there’s a break in, or something else. He’s not sure. Whatever it is, he’s sure he can deal with it. The amount of time he has spent as an undead is still so short that he forgets about it from time to time. So, without further delay, he moves back towards the front of the shop, lips parted and about to yell, silencing when he sees the male sagging against the door. “We’re closed.” Gwangmin says as he’s stepping closer. “But I guess you’re trying to avoid the rain, judged by how soaked you are?” Judged by the fact that I can hear what you think. 

[tsesarevna]

When he moves to let her in, she steps past the door and a few steps past him as well just to glance around out of habit. She has a tendency to check her surroundings for anything that could become a threat if she disregarded their qualities. But there is nothing here other her brother’s belongings so she relaxes and turns back to face him once she is spoken to. “I came to see you, as always. I missed you.” Reaching over, she takes one of his hands in hers and gives it a gentle squeeze.

[serdtsa]

— Keeping his eyes on her, he smiles at her familiar ways of acting. One of the many things he really does treasure about her. Their bond is unique, if he could say so himself. And he never wants that to change. He squeezes her hand in return, stepping a little closer to her to push a few strands of hair hair behind her ear. “ I have missed you too.” He says, offering her a warm smile. “I’m sorry to have kept to myself for so long.” 

[serdtsa]

@purpurisso

She smiles almost timidly, as if she owed an apology, and does not move from her spot without permission. “May I come in, brother?” It is comforting to see him, to know he has not given up just yet; her fears are still only that.

 — Her smile is as beautiful as he remembers it to be, giving a small nod of his head in response as he steps aside to let her enter. It has been far too long, and as happy as he is to see her again, it might now sow entirely. He has mastered the art of closing his emotions off from prying eyes, and it has begun to apply for everyone even though it may not have been his original intention.  “What brings you here, dearest sister?”

[serdtsa]

"Jihoon." There's a faint whisper from behind a closed door, a tender calling from the Red Lady whose sorrows are hidden from the world.

     — He captures the quiet call of his name from behind closed doors: her voice hasn’t been heard in far too long. Of course Jihoon moves quickly, stands up in less than a second, reaching the door to pull it open within the span of two. He eyes her form behind blond strands of hair, bleached in akin resemblance of their maker’s, though not entirely on purpose. “Alexis.”

[ladiieschoice-deactivated201605]

ok but a ‘your apartment is next to/above mine and i can hear you and your partner dancing and singing and the bed moving and you two laughing and talking in hushed tones and it won’t let me sleep so i bitch about it to you 24/7 and one day it stops and one day turns to one week and then months and i haven’t seen you smile in forever please let me in, i’ve been knocking for ten minutes’ au.

[vivxrx-blog]

There was more that fed Luhan’s insecurities, making them gnaw at his mind and his chest, but he bit his tongue on them. He didn’t want to make Leon upset by asking about that time when the vampire had done everything he could to erase him from his life. The younger curled up into his lover’s chest and nuzzled into it, wrapping his arms around him. “I know….but….but what if you get tired of me? O-of me and the twins?” he mumbled, tightening his arms around the older male. 

[serdtsa]

“Luhan, we have had this conversation before.” He mumbles softly, voice colored with weariness. “I’m not going to get tired of you. If I thought I would--” He trails off into a yawn before continuing. “I wouldn’t have offered to make it possible for you to spend the rest of eternity with me instead of just two centuries.” He kisses Luhan’s forehead when he falls quiet. “There is no such thing as me getting tired of you.”

[vivxrx-blog]

The younger held his breath when Leon turned his head towards him, seeing him clearly with golden eyes in the darkness. He didn’t miss the way lips twisted into a frown, and it made him regret asking. “Because…” he mumbled, looking down at the sheets as he played with them. “Because….” He sniffled. “I love you and I don’t want you to stop loving me like you did in my dream…” Luhan lifted a hand up to rub his eyes.

[serdtsa]

   His features relax a bit after that, though there still is a spark of worry in his chest. Even after this amount of time, there are still a few uncertainties that linger in his head. But he pushes them away. “I love you too, you know that.” He mumbles, moving just a bit closer before pulling the younger against his chest, nuzzling into his hair. “Don’t worry about such things. I’m not going anywhere.”

[serdtsa]

“Asce,” Luhan whispered in the darkness of the room, hoping the older male was still awake. “….Do you still love me?”

He is still awake when Luhan whispers his name, eyes blinking open slowly as he turns his head. His brows furrow at the question, lips twisting into a frown for a sliver of a second. “Why do you ask me something so obvious?” He mumbles, inching closer to the younger male with a sigh. “Of course I still love you. I’m still here, am I not?”

[taekwoonx]

Old feelings never die

[taekwoonx]

Like almost everyday since the past twenty years, Taekwoon feels ashamed. Once again, he lost his temper. Once again, his emotions controlled him. Usually, it ends up with the death of an innocent person. Maybe two. And this sly, cruel sensation, taking possession of all his sense. He can’t remember a day without this feeling ruling his life. Guilt has become his best friend over the years. He would probably feel lost if it totally disappeared. And maybe even scared. Because this emotion reminds him very well that he once was a human, with good feelings, a good temper. A kind person and thanks to the dark emotions he still felt almost everyday, he wasn’t entirely forgetting who he was and who he still wanted to be. He knew that it wouldn’t last forever, but he was clinging on his last hint of humanity like if letting it go would be the most terrible thing that could happen to him.

This feeling of shame got slightly appeased as she hush him, quietly. Calm again, like she forever was. He always admired her for that. A storm could turn her world upside down, she would still take a breath, put her hair back in place and keep going just as if nothing had happened. She was classy, serene in any situation, when he was nervous and easily disconcerted. He had so many to learn from her, as much on a personal matter than about the vampire life. He wanted to learn to live in the sun, just like she did but also keep her calm facade no matter how dangerous the world was around her.

When he heard her words, euphoria slowly brought a smile on his lips. He quickly composed himself. She was alone. He found himself hoping that she was waiting for him, but he quickly chased the thought away. In twenty years, she probably had many lovers. And, after so many years feeling empty, Taekwoon felt an unknown sensation. He couldn’t tell what it was, because it was new to him. Quickly analyzing the situation, the vampire realised that he was jealous. Jealous of supposed lovers that could have shared her life. Curiosity caught him off guard and he almost interviewed her about it. But he was too proud for that, and somehow, he hoped she would wonfessed about it by herself.

He listened to her, enjoyed the simple view of her taking care of her hair, crouching to grab her bag. He savored the sight of her slender body moving gracefully, the moon reflecting on her pale skin. He couldn’t understand that no one never had a doubt about her. Her perfection was inhuman and everyone around her should have guessed she was more than the average mortal. But humans were stupid and they never tried looking further. They comforted themselves in their little boring life, too scared to live something extraordinary to even dare make a move.

When she seemed ready to follow him, he proposed his arm to her. The coddledstones were quite danregous and her heels were way too high for such a street. “I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” What the irony, after how he just treated her. He was relieved that she seemingly accepter to answer his questions. As she said, they would need time for that, and obviously, he had all the time he wanted. Careful to not go too fast, he strolled back straight to his huge flat. One thing he could thank her for, was to have given him the chance to, him too, develop his business, which had become prosperous through the years as well. His house was everything but a home. It was white, cold, barely decorated. A huge ivory piano occupied the main room, with two sofa and an armchair. Few art objects were displayed around the room but we couldn’t say that the space was warm and welcoming.

He took off his coat and showed his hand to collect hers. “Make yourself at home.” He wanted to ask right away, but he still had some manners. “Do you want wine? I have quite a good wine collection.” He stared a her, waiting her reaction to the place, which was clearly different from his small cosy and messy student flat.

[serdtsa]

— There are many things, lingering inside her head at that moment still. But she continuously pushes them aside. Because for the moment, they do not belong there. Not at all, and she is one of those people who prefer to keep things separated. As if she puts all of her emotions into small boxes and stacks them. One box for happiness, another for anger and so on. That is how she keeps her life in order, or so she assumes. Even though it might not be entirely healthy. Which at the moment leads to her stacking away her own shards of fear and surprise. Replacing them with relief and a hint of happiness. It is almost as if she is pouring differently colored sand into a vase, choosing what colors her emotions should have that particular day; in the end her own colors.  She has been like that for the past 150 years at least. After many abusive years behind the stage, it became the easiest way to handle everything. With a closed off personality and a well-protected heart, it would be difficult to hurt her, no? 

But then there was that moment when she first met Taekwoon, and everything changed. She has never. not for as long as she can remember, let someone into her life as quickly as she let him in. Never, have she had such intense feelings for someone so abruptly. Her world had been turned upside down in one night, and she didn’t regret it back then. She doesn’t now either. Not entirely. Just that she ruined it by fleeing. She won’t ever forgive herself for that, especially not now. When she has seen what it did to him. If anything she wants to mend that, but she is still unsure whether her words will be enough or not. One can never be sure ow another comes to react. And considering how difficult this little revelation is going to be to her, there is no other way for her to get around it than to plunge into it, head first. As if diving into ice-water. 

Her exterior remains as calm as always. It never changes, and when he offers her his arm she accepts it. Merely because it is a sweet gesture, and a pleasurable way to make their little stroll easier to get through.”Thank you.” Adding to it that now when she finally has the chance, Ksenija doesn’t want to lose another opportunity to be close to him. There’s no way of telling when it’ll happen again. If this will go well or not, she cannot decide. And it does have her terrified, to some extent. What if he doesn’t believe her? What if he doubts? Or worse, what if he blames her further? It has amber eyes wandering quite aimlessly for a while, as usually when she has a lot to think about, or when she’s stressed.

She dares to rest her head against his shoulder as they continue to walk. It calms her down, it always used to. That it still does has her lips curling into the smallest of smiles. Because at least this is still the same, although everything else around them has changed so drastically. But Ksenija remains silent throughout the entire walk, lips parting now and then, but words never leaving her lips, seemingly stuck in her throat. 

Upon reaching his home, she is a bit surprised, it is nothing like his old apartment. Not at all. She has many fond memories of his small student flat, and the contrasts has her brows furrowing for a sliver of a second. Not that she dislikes it, not at all, it simply feels a tad strange.She is all about clean and neat areas without too much clutter, but his place has less decorations than her own, and it surprises her. Still she looks around with curiosity in her demeanor, before looking back at him with a warm smile.  She slips out of her own coat, allows him to take it away from her without protesting. The chiffon blouse she’s wearing is still a little damp, but getting herself annoyed over small matters right now seems very far away. Unlike how she usually is in other situations. She lets her hair back down, strands falling into faint curls around her shoulders.   “Ah, yes. I’d like some wine.” She responds a bit later than expected, offering another smile at him. 

“This is very different from your old place.” She then says, still looking at him, still smiling. “But I should have expected that. A lot of time has passed after all.”

[vavole]

[sxnnersxxnt-blog]

jaejoong x photoshoot

[taekwoonx]

Old feelings never die

[taekwoonx]

He has to admit that he doesn’t know what’s going inside her head. He barely can understand the feeling storming inside him. He studies her face, trying to get a hint of what to do. For now, all his anger left and he’s only happy to have found her back. But maybe this feeling is unrequited. After all, he knows nothing about her life now. She could be married with kids, for all he knows. So, despite the urge of feeling her closer than ever he feels, he pulls away, stroking her cheek a last time tenderly.

“I am sorry to have been violent. I… I…” The words die on his lips. He has so many things to tell her right now, but reality hits him again. They’re oustide, it’s raining and few people are looking at him, muttering together, probably about his outrageous behaviour towards a lady. “We should go somewhere else .I have many questions and… If you feel at ease to join me, I would like to ask them. Maybe, you can come to my place.”

He realized that he was still hungry, but at least, in his house he wouldn’t harm any innocent. He would have to behave with her but it would be fine. He had blood pack reserved for situations of crisis, and obviously that night was one of those.

Taekwoon bit his lower lip and looked at her with a curious shy smile. His life was empty, but just like he had thought previously, maybe hers wasn’t. “If you’re not waited… somewhere… At your home… Husband… Kids…” He was a bit incoherent. He didn’t want to face the truth. But if she had a fulfilled happy life, the sooner he knew, the better. He would have to move on for real this time, after getting his so wanted answers.

He carefully put back her coat on her shoulders to protect her a bit from the heavy drops. A thunderbolt lightened the area, revealing her eyes to him, reminding him how much he loved the hues of them. Any feeling of revenge had left him now. No matter what happened in the past, he knew he wouldn’t harm her purposely again. It probably was the sire bond speaking but mostly… It was love.

[serdtsa]

— To her, the air feels as if it’s vibrating. So many things, so many strange impressions, swirling in the air. Words, whispers of breaths and quiet, dormant, affection. She wants to stay like this for a little while longer. Because even though rage has been displayed only moments ago, broken her usual adamant facade down, she still feels safe when he’s there. Just like all those years ago. Because something about the way he looks at her when he pulls back tells her that he won’t harm her again.  She lets go of Taekwoon’s shirt when he caresses her cheek, her eyelids slanting for a brief moment. 

“Hush.” She utters quietly, offering up a small curl of red lips. “It’s alright. Don’t apologize.” She continues, eyeing him carefully for another few seconds. She does notice mumbling bypassers and if it weren’t for her wanting to avoid exposure, she would have gritted her teeth at them and hissed. Because they have no right to judge other people’s business. None at all. But she does send them an icy glare, hopefully settling some discomfort into the marrow of their bones. “Now is as good as ever isn’t it?” Ksenija says slowly, lips twisting in the faintest. She’s unsure wether she is ready for this or not. but it is indeed better to explain now, than trying to run away again. It only makes matters worse. 

“I’m not waited.” She shakes her head. “I live alone, aside from my cat, there’s no one else.” She offers another smile. She had truly forgotten how easy it was for her to speak with him. How sweet he actually is. “So there is nothing to worry about on that part. We have all the time we might need for this. And I would say we’d need quite a bit of it.” Slender fingers rub at her forehead, pushes wet hair back afterwards and tying them into a neat pony-tail. It’s the easiest way to keep herself from looking entirely perplexed. 

She remains still when he puts her coat back around her shoulders. It’s still warmer than the air around them, although a tad damp. It’s comfortable and she wraps it quite tightly around herself before scrambling to pick her purse up from the ground. She’ll have to have it cleaned properly and make sure it’s still in splendid condition. Or buy a new one, that might even be easier. 

Thunder rumbles above their heads and as lightning flashes, lighting the street up with white, she’s still watching him just as he is watching her. Those features, those eyes, haven’t changed at all, she reckons. And it still leaves her heart fluttering. 

[taekwoonx]

Old feelings never die

[serdtsa]

@taekwoonx

He knows, as soon as she speaks, that she’s telling the truth. It was her own decision. But it still doesn’t tell him why she decided to turn him. He needed to know. He had been eager to know since the day he woke up, thirsty for blood. He was alone, but he knew it was her who turned him. She had been the last person he saw, that night. He cringed as the memories overwhelmed him once again. He had spent the most wonderful night ever with her and she destroyed the memory of it. He had been that traumatized that he never got intimate with a girl ever since then, that was kind of pathetic. She couldn’t guess, obviously but if he could have blushed, his cheeks would be pink right now.

He realized that she was in pain, physically and mentally, his questions attacking her, again and again. He was torn, between his thirst of revenge and the love and care he felt for her. Slowly and very carefully, he put a lock of her hair behind her ear, let his fingers trail on her jawline, towards her chin, and tenderly lift it to sink his eyes into her.

“I loved you a lot” she said and he believed her. At least, he could know he hadn’t been only a toy and a distraction. Maybe he hadn’t been as important as she was for him, but he meant something. She cared about him. She loved him. That thought calmed him down instantly. He had still unanswered questions left, but he felt, for a brief moment, relieved and at peace with himself. All of this, their story, was real. Their love was real.

He realized that it was slowly starting to rain, but he couldn’t care less. The words were turning into his head and he couldn’t think about anything else. His other worries left him for a moment, he would have time later to ask her about the whole story, but at that very moment, all that matter was them. She was there, he could touch her, see her, he could feel her and take her scent. After all those years they were reunited and nothing else matter.

The time had stop for him, no matter what would have happened around them now, he wouldn’t notice. His attention was all on her. He checked carefully  that he didn’t leave trace on her throat, his chest clenching as he noticed the form of his fingers on her pale skin. He suddenly hated himself for not be able to control his anger. In more than 20 years, he couldn’t have tamed his wild feelings. But the irony there was that it was her fault for him to have become like that. It was easier to blame her than to face his own weakness. He leaned carefully and kissed her bruises tenderly, before pulling away, watching her reaction.

— The way he touches her still feels the same, and she doesn’t mind the way he puts her hair  back behind her ear. The way his fingers feel when they trail down her jawline. It’s a familiar sensation. Her eyes are staring right into his, her amber glow mixed with silvery patterns — speaking on the turmoil behind her still quite controlled exterior. She’s unsure how she should react to all of this. Hands close to shaking as he laces her own fingers together. There are too many things circulating in her head at that moment, seeing him. Inhaling his scent. After all these years, it’s more familiar than ever. She can’t help the way her head spins, she has been running from this for so long that she has barely given herself time to reflect over what she’d do if it actually happened. 

She continues to look at the sky above their heads as the droplets fall quicker, blinking away the ones who end up clinging to her eyelashes. She spends a moment like that, pondering over what words to speak. Without much progress, because there are no real words she could ever utter to be able to mend this. To make him understand. Because she doesn’t even understand it herself. She wishes she could hide against his chest again, like she used to back then. Because that comfort he had been able to give her couldn’t be compared to anything, not in the least. And she continues to deny all those small details to herself. But it’s getting harder with each moment he spends right infront of him like that. So close, but still so far away, in one sense.

Ksenija notices the way he focuses on her, watches her as if time has stopped. How his eyes wander down towards her throat. She knows she’s most likely bruised, but she ignores it for now. It’s something she can spend time agonizing over later. And besides, it’ll heal within a day or two. Maybe less. She doesn’t expect what follows. The sensation of lips against her skin has her eyes closing for a moment, fingers slow as they grab a hold of his shirt. The rain is pouring by now but she doesn’t care anymore. She hasn’t been out in the rain like this for a very long time. 

Hesitance, has her enveloped for another few seconds before she moves — resting her forehead against his shoulder. Still quiet. She wants to apologize, but she can’t find her voice anymore. Lips moving without sound. 

[taekwoonx]

Old feelings never die

[taekwoonx]

Taekwoon scrutinize her face features. She still just as perfect as in his memories. Thin lines, graceful. Her pale skin is like in his memories : absolutely flawless. She still the gorgeous woman he fell in love with, time didn’t act on her. But this beauty is now tarnished by her despicable actions and he feels like he’ll never be able to forgive her if he doesn’t get at least a reason. A good justification telling him why she turned him and also, and that was what was hurting the most, why she abandonned him. Do all vampires act that way? He highly doubted it. He never turned anyone so far but he knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t leave his descendant alone with no explanations. He still had a heart, even though the last memories of it were slowly deserting him.

He noticed her fear and he felt satisfaction worming inside him. A light smirk appeared on his face, even though his eyes still reflected sadness. She was way older than him, she made him, and yet, she was afraid. She was aknowledging his power. The body reaction she expressed when he called by her nickname made him realize that maybe he had meant something to her, but he needed to hear it out loud.

When she spoke, his rage unleashed again, he took the few steps between them and caught her at the throat, pinning her against the nearest wall, almost lifting her from the ground. His face was an inch from hers, staring intensely at her, all trace of sadness missing.

“That’s your excuse? You did what you had to do? You had to turn me and abandon me? Someone forced you to? Someone threatened you?” He released her throat and grabbed her by the arms, above her elbows and pinned her against the wall again. “Answer me! Did someone forced you or was I a toy you were tired to play with? You needed a way to get rid of me? Did you…” He looked at her once again and whispered: “Did you ever love me? Or were those words lies?” His next move would probably depends on her replies now, but the way he was treating her now wouldn’t probably help to have an honest conversation so he released her, but stayed there, facing her. He wouldn’t let her go without a proper answer, he laid his hands apart from her, blocking her way as he asked again, in a deep voice: “Tell me.”

[serdtsa]

    – She is so used to breathing easy. Now her world is being turned upside down. She has been fleeing from this ever since that day. The slightest hint of a familiar scent and she has run the other way. Avoiding everything that could possibly slip through the cracks of the walls she has built up around herself. Because there has never been anyone else after that. After them. She hasn’t let anyone else come that close. Because it is not in her nature. Not at all. Taekwoon was an exception and pretending that she doesn’t care about him — about what happened, is impossible. Because never, has her heart been as moved as it was by him. And it probably never will be. He is not her first love, but he is the only love that has felt real. 

The way his fingers feel around her throat is strange, brick against her back feels strange too. And the need to breathe is slowly making her fall into something similar to panic. She doesn’t need to breathe, she reminds herself, but it is still a basic instinct, and she claws at his hands with her own slender fingers to try to get him to let go. Her eyes don’t cower however, and Ksenija looks right back into his intense hues. Her hair has fallen into her face, hands slowly stopping their motions and she gives in. It hurts, it really does. And it’s the first time she has felt pain in at least ten years. It ignites fire in her veins again, as if she’s regaining lost knowledge about being alive. 

When he lets her go, even if it’s only brief, she almost stumbles forward, only to end up with her back against the wall again. She curses her choice of heels, coat dropping from her shoulders and purse long forgotten by her feet. So many questions, so many words. Her head is spinning, because none of that is true. Those statements are false. Nobody threatened her, nobody forced her to do anything. “No.” She says quietly, finally looking away from him when her walls begin to cave. “Nobody forced me to do anything.” Her entire frame is shaking, chest heaving as she looks back at him. Hues practically glowing. “But I did love you.” She whispers, pushing her hair back when he lets her go. She stands more steadily this time. “I loved you a lot.” She continues. “But it ruined everything. And I guess that’s why we are here like this now.” She grows quiet after that, eyes slowly turned up towards the sky as droplets begin to fall from heavy clouds. 

[taekwoonx]

Old feelings never die

[taekwoonx]

Acquaintance… The word somehow hurt him. She was way more than an acquaintance to him but after all those years, obviously, he meant nothing more to her. Despite all the hatred he felt for her, she would never be an acquaintance for him. She was first of all, his maker. He could feel a special bond, growing back now that he was facing her. And most of all, she was and had always been the love of his life, despite how she treated him in the past. That’s how weak he was and suddenly, he realized that attacking her, killing her… That would never happen. But he wouldn’t let her know. Not quite yet. He was full of anger and he needed answers. He still wanted her to suffer, like he suffered. He spent years looking after her and actually she was just there. He thought she had left or cast a magic spell to be invisible to him. He had imagined so many unrealistic, crazy and stupid scenario… But obviously, she wasn’t caring about him enough to try to even escape him. His dark eyes weren’t leaving hers, he stopped growling, but his fangs didn’t disappear. He probably looked terrifying, even to another vampire, because animosity was pouring from all of his pores. He would have to calm down if he wanted to have a discussion with her but the vision was too painful and he couldn’t think straight for now. “Acquaintance? You ruined my life…” He spoke slowly. Rage exuding with each word. “You made me a monster. You left me. You left me without a word, you left me in pain and lost in a world I didn’t know. You lied to me for months. I can’t even look straight at you without wanting to kill you. I am going to kill you. No matter how long it will take. You’ll suffer just as much as I suffered.” He couldn’t stop, just pourring his pain, sadness, his bitterness. He wanted her to feel bad for what she had done. “Did you ever feel in pain for what you did to me? Do you even regret breaking my heart? I Loved you, Kse. I fell for you and you broke me into millions pieces.” His voice broke, all his ramparts, the shield he built to protect himself fell off. He was helpless. A little boy again. All the memories were surfacing him and he wasn’t ready to face them. Anger left space to sadness and the expression of his face changed, as he repeated, in a broken voice : “I was in love with you Kse…”. And he had to face it now, he was still deeply and madly in love with her.

[serdtsa]

    —Her choice of words isn’t the best. She is sure. But she can’t come up with a better way to phrase it to her. Because what he is to her, is still unknown these days. She has thought about it, especially during those late nights she spends alone. She still recalls his sweet demeanour, the way he could always make her laugh. Even though she has made it very clear to herself that he has moved on, and it is what she believes, there’s still memories that she comes to treasure now and then. He still is, and always will be part of her life in one way or another. Wether as a memory or a presence. She can’t erase him, and she doesn’t want to either. 

But he’s so different like this. Still beautiful. But different.  His aura threatening and anger so obviously displayed in the dark of his eyes. She remembers him as kind, not like this. Ksenija is aware, that it is indeed her doings, most likely.  She has had a lot of time to process it, her leaving without warning. And the guilt that had been there at first has slowly faded, But seeing him like this, still has her stomach twisting. It’s unlike her, very much so. But love always changes people. Without a doubt. 

There is rage laced with every word he speaks, and she takes the smallest of steps backwards. It’s instinctive, really. Mainly because during her human years, she experienced a lot of anger. mostly from men, rejected for her own benefits. It wasn’t an easy time, escaping with bruises and tears. But she got through it back then and she can definitely get through it now, if she’d have to stand up for herself like that. But Taekwoon’s words still hurt, hearing her nickname fall from his lips still makes her hunch. But she doesn’t take her eyes away from him, not for a single moment. If anything, when rage slowly turns into sadness, in the likes of pure despair, it only makes things worse. How does she answer to such accusations? To words she won’t admit are actually true? 

“I did what I had to do.” 

She states calmly, arms crossing over her chest. She’s struggling to seem as stone-hearted as she wants to be, it shows in the way her eyes continuously wander now when she has to speak on her own part.