serene millancholy

with all my heart, jasmine millan.

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out of all the places i've had a chance to explore, your mind is by far my favorite.

flowers on the moon by billy chapata

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Air tattooed by an absence.

Extraccion de La Piedra de Locura (translated to English) by Alejandra Pizarnik

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If you want to live within the definition of your own truth, you have to choose to go through the initially painful and ultimately comforting process of finding it.

Every Day by David Levithan

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Paper is more patient than people.

Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

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[...] there’s no other explanation for how you and I could end up on the same planet, in the same species, in the same century, in the same country, in the same state, in the same town, in the same hallway, in front of the same door for the same reason at the exact same time.

All Your Perfects by Colleen Hoover

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Knowing how people are taught good behavior is a finer thing than knowing how to keep them from breaking the law.

The Cynic Philosophers: From Diogenes to Julian by Robert Dobbin

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Idleness does not make work easy, it ensures that work will be hard.

The Cynic Philosophers: From Diogenes to Julian by Robert Dobbin

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I think of Demetrius and his comparison of an easy life untouched by fortune's ups and downs to the dead sea. If you have nothing to rouse or stir you to action, nothing to test your character by way of challenges or attacks – that, he says, is not peace, it is a coma.

The Cynic Philosophers: From Diogenes to Julian by Robert Dobbin

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Wealth and poverty relate not so much to a man's possessions as to his soul.

The Cynic Philosophers: From Diogenes to Julian by Robert Dobbin

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Where are you going, poor souls, and what are you doing? You drift about as if you were blind. You forsake the right road for a cul-de-sac. You look for peace and happiness in the wrong places; and are suspicious of anyone who tries to point you in the right direction.

The Cynic Philosophers: From Diogenes to Julian by Robert Dobbin

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The choice of an ethical life is all that is needed — a desire for virtue and aversion to evil. It is not necessary to con a lot of books. 'Great learning,' as they say, 'does not teach understanding.'

The Cynic Philosophers: From Diogenes to Julian by Robert Dobbin

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Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members.

Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson

an 1841 essay written by american transcendentalist philosopher ralph waldo emerson. it contains the most thorough statement of one of emerson's recurrent themes: the need for each individual to avoid conformity and false consistency, and follow his own instincts and ideas. (wikipedia)

this was a quick read and self explanatory—that’s if you already see the world that we live in for the way that it is. #iykyk

i wish for the strength and courage to do my part in creating a more just society, even if it’s deemed miniscule...

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Knowing something and understanding it were not the same thing.

The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom

“the time keeper is a compelling fable about the first man on earth to count the hours.

told in albom’s signature spare, evocative prose, this remarkably original tale will inspire readers everywhere to reconsider their own notions of time, how they spend it and how precious it truly is.” (mitch albom)

a classic read. it was a reminder of how time as the basis for living may seem universal, simply giving it an inherent meaning can turn one’s world around and give a more profound experience. time can just be the clock that indicates your schedule for the day, or it could be the nudge that reminds you to make the most of each moment. 

my favorite lesson from this is how most of the time we think we know a lot, when in reality knowing things isn’t enough. knowing is surface level. understanding is depth. understanding is the essence. and the more you understand, the less you know. 

it reminds me of one of the sayings that goes “you can always mentally prepare for an experience, but you can never be prepared for how you’ll feel.” because feeling requires you to dive into an ocean, even if that means you can drown. that’s how profound understanding is, when knowing is just wading in water. 

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Everything I had worked for, all my years of study, had been to purchase for myself this one privilege: to see and experience more truths than those given to me [by my father], and to use those truths to construct my own mind.

Educated by Tara Westover

“educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. it is a tale of fierce [survivalist mormon] family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. with the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one's life through new eyes and the will to change it.” (goodreads)

this book holds a special place in my heart. immersing myself in tara’s real life story was a surreal experience, almost forgetting i was only vicariously experiencing it as it felt crazy heavy. memoirs are some of my favorite forms of expression because it’s literally a portal through an individual’s entire universe of experience: the mind.

it was such an honor to have experienced her story in the way that i did. i felt fear, grief, frustration, helplessness, alienation, as well as an awakening, hope, inspiration, metamorphosis, metanoia...

tara’s life story has instilled in me this hunger and courage to construct my own mind with my own truth. she is the proof of the possibility of embodying our own truth, regardless of the cruelty and illusionary impossibility of our circumstance.

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When time no longer lies ahead of one, other things have to be lived for. Memories, perhaps.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

a novel by swedish blogger, rich with themes about youth and aging, and loss and how immigration can change a community for the better (gore on wordfest)

the only reason this book was a pick-up was because of the mini book club with my friends. i initially had no attraction whatsoever towards it; not even any clues on what it was about - i couldn’t even pronounce ove and only found out it was oo-vay and not ove as in cove...anyways.

it still excited me because i love being surprised. not having any initial expectations cultivates so much space for absolutely anything to unfold, and that’s something i appreciate in general. turns out, despite the arduous perusal, this story warmed my heart and taught me a couple of lessons on love, mainly. but i truly appreciated the perspective of an old-school man navigating his way through our modern technological times, and even reminding us of some very valuable and timeless gems of life lessons.

overall, it’s a cute little story for broadening one perspectives on the themes mentioned above. the beauty of it is that it can be catered to the reader’s personal lens and read it how they choose to see it, just like any other book really.

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Humans create such beautiful myths; what imaginations they have. Perhaps that's why their aspirations are so immense.

Exhalation: Stories by Ted Chiang

a science fiction/fantasy centering on the themes of “free will & the immutability of fate, implications of technology on our lives, and how people see themselves in a new light and grapple with themselves when their most cherished, fundamental beliefs and truths are challenged.” (Shenoy on Factor Daily)

again, i was drawn to this book because it parallels our evolving world of technology, advancing towards AI and beyond. a collection of nine stories, each depicting different realities yet all touching on time-travel, artificial intelligence, alternate realities, free will and more.

my favorite aspect of this is the portrayal of humankind in a universe coexisting with other species of nature, as well as manmade i.e. androids. chiang illuminates the human species’ inscrutability and how we inevitably bring forth destruction not only to other species but also upon ourselves.

these are my favorite excerpts:

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I want to know what passion is," she heard him saying. "I want to feel something strongly.

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

First pick-up for 2021!  — a dystopian social science fiction novel depicting a “utopian” society favoring order and civilization over the natural barbaric nature of humanity.

ok tbh this is my first entry and i have no idea what i’m doing and what exactly this is for but i wanted to create an avenue for brain dumps on every book that impacts me. just vibes. and a colossal amount of thoughts.

this was a pretty heavy book to ease myself back into reading but the gist of it captivated me, especially in our current world—dystopia, live in action... :S

anyways, having thoughts is so overwhelming because WHERE DO I BEGIN and I already know i won’t get to express all of them, how unfair is that to the unexpressed thoughts!? mayhaps it is in our nature... deciding what’s deserving of existence and what simply doesn’t have a room anywhere. so this established system is yet another product of nature i suppose. the nature of the competent having use and the incompetent being used, or exploited rather. but here’s the thing, whether you are “benefiting” from it or being exploited, we’re all fucked in the grand scheme of things :D

competent = quintessence of system aka lab rats

incompetent = backbone of system aka slaves

to whom it may concern, this system is wack. systems should be adaptable to the changing nature that is life. but maybe we’re not as intelligent as we think...or maybe the shitheads in power are way too toxic and will forever remain so. :( a tragedy.

anyways this book explores a lot from social conditioning to eugenics (practice or advocacy of improving the human species by selectively mating people with specific desirable hereditary traits).

before i dump all the excerpts that made me go “!!!”, i want to wrap it up by expressing that i am advocating for ~feelings~ and passion and all that because i believe it’s the essence of being alive. i truly don’t see another way of being alive. i think a “perfect” world actually strips life away altogether.