Raph: You cried when you stubbed your toe yesterday.
Leo: It was a very aggressive table leg.
Mikey: You ever just vibe so hard you forget you have responsibilities?
Donnie: No. I have anxiety.
April: If I die, my funeral is gonna be the most lit party ever.
Leo: Donāt worry, Iāll DJ.
April: Youāre not invited.
Raph: Whatās our plan if the Foot Clan attacks again?
April: ā¦This explains a lot.
Splinter: Children, teamwork is the key to victory.
Leo: Right. So what youāre saying is Iām the key.
Splinter: ā¦I regret speaking.
Donnie: Iām not competitive.
Leo: You literally tackled me to the floor during Monopoly.
Donnie: Thatās because you were CHEATING.
Mikey: Guys, I found a new recipe for pizza!
Mikey: Happiness and chaos.
Leo: ā¦Thatās just hot sauce, isnāt it?
April: What are you all doing?
Raph: Regretting my life choices.
Draxum: You turtles are so immature.
Mikey: He complimented us, donāt ruin it.
Leo: Okay, hear me outā
Leo: You didnāt even let meā
Donnie: Iām surrounded by idiots.
Leo: [cheerfully] He means us!
Mikey: What if we didnāt tell Splinter about this?
Raph: What if we did and avoided getting grounded?
Leo: What if we run before he finds out?
Donnie: What if you all stop being cowards and let me finish the death ray?
Raph: Nobody move! I lost my contact lens.
Leo: You donāt wear contacts.
Raph: Thatās what makes this worse.
Splinter: Do you think Iām a good father?
Leo: You bribed us with pizza to do our chores.
Splinter: You boys need discipline.
Leo: You also need to stop falling asleep watching soap operas.
Splinter: Donnie, what are you doing?
Splinter: Should I be worried?
Splinter: No fighting in the lair!
Leo: Heās still mad that I exist better than him.
Draxum: You turtles are a mistake.
Big Mama: You turtles are so uncultured.
Donnie: Bold of you to assume I care about your opinion when Iām already fabulous.
Hypno-Potamus: Prepare to be amazed!
Raph: At what, your fashion sense?
Leo: No, wait, heās right. That cape is working for him.
Meat Sweats: Iāll cook you alive!
Mikey: Jokeās on you, Iāll taste delicious.
Donnie: Google Maps says otherwise.
Mikey: Can we get pizza before we die in the sewer?
Raph: Donāt you dare start trouble.
Leo: *grins* I would never.
Donnie: Heās already started.
Mikey: Why does Leo get to be leader?
Raph: He doesnāt. I do.
Donnie: Wrong. Iām the leader, because I have a functioning brain.
Leo: Admit it, Iām your favorite.
Raph: Youāre my biggest headache.
Donnie: If I die, delete my search history.
Mikey: ā¦What did you do?
Donnie: You donāt want to know.
Raph: Nobody touch anything!
Leo: *touches everything immediately*
Mikey: Weāre a family! Families donāt lie.
Leo: Bold statement from the guy who ate the last slice of pizza and blamed Raph.
Splinter: Youāre grounded.
Splinter: Existing too loudly.
Splinter: You should all behave like normal teenagers.
Donnie: Normal teenagers donāt fight mutants.
Splinter: Normal teenagers also donāt live in a sewer, but here we are.
Splinter: Iām proud of you boys.
Leo: For saving New York?
Splinter: No, for not eating each otherās leftovers.
Splinter: Raph, what happened to the kitchen?!
Raph: [points at Leo] He happened.
Leo: Donāt drag me into thisā
Splinter: Youāre always dragged into this.
Mikey: Dad, do you love us equally?
Splinter: Of course. Except Donnie, he terrifies me.
April: You guys are idiots.
Leo: Excuse meāgeniuses in disguise.
Donnie: Correction: one genius, three disasters.
April: Why do I even hang out with you?
Leo: Because weāre charming.
April: No, because you owe me snacks.
April: Do NOT touch anything.
Leo & Mikey: touch everything at the same time
April: Hypothetically, if you broke the city againā¦
Leo: And you still canāt take credit for my looks.
Big Mama: My dear, youāre all so uncultured.
Donnie: I built a battle shell. Iām more cultured than your opera house.
Hypno-Potamus: Witness my greatest illusion!
Mikey: Is it making friends?
Hypno: ā¦That was uncalled for.
Meat Sweats: Iāll turn you into stew!
Raph: Jokeās on you, Leo already acts like a vegetable.
Foot Lieutenant: The Foot will never stop!
Leo: You guys trip over your own shoelaces.
Raph: Okay, nobody do anything stupid.
Leo: Define āstupid.ā
Donnie: [grabs Leo by the collar] No.
Mikey: We should have a secret handshake!
Donnie: We should have a secret insurance policy.
Leo: Weāll go in quietly.
Mikey: [trips over trash can]
Raph: That lasted two seconds.
Donnie: According to my calculationsā
Leo: [interrupts] Nobody cares.
Donnie: According to my calculations, Iām going to strangle you.
Mikey: Who ate my cookie?
Leo: [crumbs on his face] Not me.
Raph: I canāt believe you guys.
Leo: Believe it, big guy. Weāre disasters.
Donnie: If anyone touches my lab again, I will invent something specifically to ruin your life.
Leo: Jokeās on you, I already ruined it myself.
Raph: Come here, youāre not escaping.
Donnie: Please put me down.
Splinter: I leave for five minutesā
April: And everythingās on fire.
Leo: Technically it was already flammable.
Donnie: I could build something better than that in my sleep.
Mikey: Then take a nap, genius.
Donnie: Weāre lawsuits waiting to happen.
Raph: You donāt always have to be the hero, Leo!
Leo: Of course I do, I look amazing in the role.
Leo: If I donāt make itā
Leo: Fine. If I totally make it, you all owe me pizza.
Donnie: Your plan is reckless.
Leo: No, noāmy plan is dumb. Thereās a difference.
Raph (crying): You canāt just throw yourself at the Krang!
Leo: Watch me. Style points are included.
Leo: Yeah, but Iām your insane.
Casey: In my time, you all die.
Leo: ā¦Yikes. Guess retirementās off the table.
Casey: You trained me. You saved the future.
Leo: Okay, but did I at least look cool doing it?
Casey: I shouldnāt even be here, Iām breaking time travel rules!
Donnie: *Deadpan* Oh no, somebody call the time police.
Casey: You were heroes. Legends.
Mikey: Did we at least get merch?
Mikey: Then whatās the point?
Splinter: I cannot lose you.
Leo: Technically you will, but likeā¦ heroically.
Splinter: You boys mean everything to me.
Donnie: Then maybe ground Leo harder.
Splinter: Donāt you dare sacrifice yourself again!
Leo: *wounded grin* Noted. Will definitely ignore.
Splinter: I have failed you.
Leo: Yeah, thatās mostly me.
Krang: You are insignificant!
Leo: Tell that to my crippling self-confidence.
Krang: We will break your spirits.
Donnie: [gestures at Leo] Already broken.
Krang: We cannot be stopped!
Mikey: Okay, but likeā¦ have you tried snacks?
Krang: Your bond is weakness.
Raph: [grabs Leoās shoulder] Then why does it keep kicking your butt?
Raph: I canāt lose you.
Leo: Then stop misplacing me.
Mikey: This is the worst day ever.
Donnie: Give it time, it can get worse.
Leo: [already climbing into danger] See?
Raph: Why is it always you?
Leo: Because I look cool in slow motion.
Mikey (crying): Donāt leave us!
Leo: Iām not leaving. Iām justā¦ dramatically existing elsewhere.
Donnie: Statistically speaking, this is suicide.
Leo: Statistically speaking, I donāt care.
Raph: You canāt keep making jokes when everythingās falling apart!
Leo: Thatās literally the only time I make jokes.
April: Youāre all going to die!
Leo: [finger guns] Not with that attitude.
Mikey: Then why are you crying?
Donnie: Allergies. To emotions.
Leo: If this is my last fightā
Leo: Fine. If this is my second-to-last fightā
Mikey: Iām not ready to lose any of you.
Leo: Good news, youāre only losing me.
Raph: Thatās NOT better!
Donnie: My calculations say this is impossible.
Leo: Good thing I majored in impossible.
Splinter: You are grounded.
Leo: From what? Existing?
Casey: You donāt understand how much you mean to the future!
Leo: Oh, I do. Itās called ācrippling pressure.ā
Raph (hugging Leo tight): Iām not letting go.
Leo: Great. Now weāll die cuddling.
Mikey: If you do this, youāll never come back.
Leo: Wrong. Iāll come back as a tragic backstory.
Leo: Iām everyoneās favorite.
Raph: Youāre everyoneās problem.
Mikey: Who wants pancakes?
Raph: Youāre all nightmares.
Leo: Youāre also a drama queen.
Mikey: Heās our drama queen.
Mikey: [already hugging all of them] Too late!
Splinter: I raised you better than this.
Leo: You raised us at all?
Splinter: Who broke the TV?
Mikey: [points at Donnie]
Donnie: [points at Splinter]
Splinter: Youāre grounded.
Leo: From what? We live underground.
Splinter: You are my sons, my pride and joy.
Donnie: ā¦That explains your constant disappointment.
Splinter: Do not embarrass me.
Leo: Dad, have you met us?
April: Youāre all disasters.
Leo: Correction ā fabulous disasters.
April: Why am I even friends with you?
Mikey: Because weāre adorable.
April: You owe me snacks, thatās why.
April: Donāt break anything!
Donnie: His plan is death.
April: Can we go one mission without chaos?
Leo: Can you un-create me so I can nap?
Meat Sweats: Iāll cook you alive!
Mikey: Jokeās on you, I taste like mozzarella sticks.
Hypno-Potamus: You dare mock me?
Donnie: Itās not mockery if itās true.
Big Mama: You uncultured children.
Foot Brute: You canāt stop us!
Raph: Okay, stealth mode.
Leo: Weāre literally fighting for our lives.
Donnie: Iāve calculated the odds of success.
Mikey: Never tell us the odds.
Leo: I am focused. Focused on how good I look.
Donnie: Weāre a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Raph: Youāre exhausting.
Donnie: Delete that immediately.
Splinter: Donāt do anything stupid.
Leo: *already stupid* Too late.
Raph: Why canāt you take things seriously?
Leo: Because Iām allergic.
Mikey: Weāre family. That meansā
Donnie: Weāre stuck with each other forever.
Leo: āIām not saying Iām the best turtle, but have you noticed how the theme song says my name first?ā
Raph: āIt doesnāt.ā
Leo: āWell it should.ā
Donnie: [fixing his tech] āNobody touch this.ā
Mikey: [touches it immediately]
Donnie: āI respect the consistency but I hate you.ā
Leo: āWe need a distraction.ā
Mikey: [sets something on fire]
Leo: āNot that kind of distraction!ā
Raph: āWhy are you all looking at me?ā
Leo: āYouāre the leader.ā
Raph: āThatās just a title, it doesnāt meanāā
Mikey: āIf we die, itās your fault.ā
Donnie: āIām surrounded by idiots.ā
Leo: āRude. Say it again but with love.ā
Donnie: āā¦Iām surrounded by lovable idiots.ā
Mikey: āThis pizza is a little burnt.ā
Leo: āItās called crispy gourmet, baby.ā
Leo: [falls dramatically on the couch]
Raph: āAre you dying or just being dramatic?ā
Donnie: āI can explain.ā
Splinter: āCan you explain without math?ā
Mikey: āWho wants to see me do a backflip off the couch?ā
Donnie: āThis will end in blood.ā
Leo: āIf anyone needs me, Iāll be in the kitchen making questionable decisions.ā
Raph: āWhy are you laughing?ā
Leo: āBecause if I donāt laugh, Iāll cry.ā
Donnie: āWhy is there glitter on the lair walls?ā
Mikey: āThatās not glitter.ā
Leo: *concerned* āā¦Then what is it?ā
Leo: āIām not the problem child.ā
Raph: āYou are the problem child.ā
Donnie: āYou invented being the problem child.ā
Mikey: āAnd Iām so proud of you, bro.ā
Mikey: āSo, uhā¦ Donnieās invention exploded again.ā
Splinter: āDo I even want to ask?ā
Donnie: āIn my defense, it worked for three seconds.ā
Leo: āWe donāt need a plan. We just need vibes.ā
Donnie: āI hate this family.ā
Mikey: āAre weā¦ the bad guys?ā
Leo: āNo, weāre the cool guys.ā
Donnie: āThatās not mutually exclusive.ā
Raph: āCan you all stop fighting for ONE minute?!ā
Leo, Donnie, and Mikey in unison: āNo.ā
Donnie: āIām the brains.ā
Raph: āIām the brawn.ā
Leo: āIām the beauty.ā
Mikey: āIām the chaos.ā
Mikey: āWhatās the worst that could happen?ā
Leo: āDo you want the list alphabetically or by level of trauma?ā
Donnie: *groans* āI canāt work under these conditions.ā
Leo: āYou mean āwith family who love youā?ā
Donnie: āā¦Yes. Exactly that.ā
Leo: [posing with his swords] āI call this move: dramatic flair.ā
Raph: āā¦You didnāt even swing.ā
Leo: āDidnāt need to.ā
Mikey: [hugging Raph] āYouāre like a big teddy bear!ā
Raph: *grumbles* āā¦Donāt tell anyone I like this.ā
Donnie: āIf I disappear into my lab and donāt come out for three days, donāt disturb me.ā
Leo: āWeāre disturbing you at two days max. Iām not living without your snacks.ā
Leo: āYouāre all just jealous because Iām pretty and funny.ā
Mikey: āFamily game night, whoās in?!ā
Leo: āIāll crush you.ā
Donnie: āIāll destroy you.ā
Raph: āIāll keep it civil.ā
Splinter: āI will win.ā
Leo: [in the middle of a fight] āWait, do I look good from this angle?ā
Raph: āWEāRE GETTING SHREDDED AND YOUāRE POSING?!ā
Donnie: āDonāt touch my tech.ā
Mikey: [touches his tech]
Donnie: āGuess whoās banned from snack privileges for a week?ā
Raph: āSometimes I wonder if you guys even listen to me.ā
Mikey: āSorry, zoned out.ā
Donnie: āDid you say something?ā
Leo: āI may be annoying, but at least Iām entertaining.ā
Mikey: [half-asleep] āYou guys are my best friends.ā
Leo: āWeāre your brothers.ā
Mikey: āā¦Best brother-friends.ā
I'm feeling like a balloon which is ready to explode-
Anyway, I might do a part 2 of this, maybe, who knows.
yousharknotpass
baratheonpilled
dededos
blakekathryn
