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@serket-scorpionstarlight
proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.
hey should i make a playlist of lestappen podiums or should i just schedule that long overdue lobotomy
Sets up camp in your inbox. Do you wanna stargaze with me
STARSSTARSSTARSSTARSSTARSSTARS- gets hit by a comically large anvil. weakly croaks out s-s-sstars
its been 257 days since the last lestappodium
typical lestappen things: one of them is having the time of his life while the other is going through horrors beyond human comprehension while us fans are constantly five seconds away from jumping
silverstone gp recap!!!! (someone take me out with a sniper pls):
dnfs: alex but he was basically out from lap 2 lmaooooo, nico for possible gearbox issues, and MAX WHAT THE FUCK THE GODS HATE ME
almost dnf but not really: kimi for like. so many things genuinely where do i begin
penalties: lewis 5 sec penalty for false start (he got a lil too excited and inched lmaoooo), lance 5 sec penalty for track limits except it was his FIFTH OFFENSE so what the fuck were the stewards doing beforehand????? OKAY WELL NVM HE JUST GOT HIS SIXTH OFFENSE MF YOU ARE IN 20TH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, kimi 5 sec penalty bc the car has had so many issues today and he wants to keep going but there's no point in doing so
THERE WAS A VSC FOR A FUCKING UMBRELLA???????????
george + lewis and max + george fighting was very delicious
im gonna fucking kill myself I THOUGHT THAT WAS LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE BUT IT WAS MAX
race ended with vsc for some fucking reason and im sure the fia has a VERY good (incredibly shit) reason for it!!!!!
anyway. charles p1 (FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE), george p2 (yay :>), lewis p3 (FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
in conclusion: the lestappen podium summoning circle shall reset. prepare your sacrifices for spa.
hey so i think max's threat to retire at the end of the season just might be closer and closer to coming true
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IM JUMPING IM JUMPING
silverstone quali recap that isnt late this time!!!:
q1: george went slide and wee but was fine, franco spun out like it was mardi gras and got out, nico somehow got 4th here???? idk either. i did mention monaco while yapping with the white boy which we all agree was a mass psychosis event and did NOT in fact happen
q2: nothing really, max had a bit of engine trouble and ive now upgraded his car from a shitbox to a dumpster
q3: kimi p1 to literally no one's surprise/pos, ferrari really said there can only be ONE top brit here (charles p2 and lewis p3), isack did better than max and im starting to think he was serious about his threat to retire by the end of the season (pls dont we need your chalant nonchalance and tendency to just say random shit and also lestappen but like thats just me bc those post race yaps make me happy :>)
no dramatic dnfs besides franco, just the usual aston and cadillac failings and me being depressed again about ollie not doing so great (genuinely cant wait for him to have a chance at getting a seat with ferrari he's gonna learn all the depression and catholic guilt from charles lmaooo)
in conclusion: FORZA FERRARI (i dont even like the team, charles chose me and i gotta support lewis by proxy) and btw the lestappen podium summoning circle shall remain unchanged until tmrw after the race. it will continue until morale improves. to everyone following me bc they also are an f1 addict im so sorry im going to be slightly more annoying
LESTAPPEN PODIUM LESTAPPEN PODIUM LESTAPPEN PODIUM LESTAPPEN PODIUM LESTAPPEN PODIUM LESTAPPEN PODIUM
post-race update: it nearly worked. the circle shall reset. prepare the sacrifices for spa. we're gonna need them.
late sprint quali recap!!! (bc i forgot its a sprint weekend and i slept in😭😭😭):
one direction is back ig but as we can see lewis is the harry styles of the quintet bc he got pole!!! meanwhile his other other son (kimi) from his divorce got p2!!
as always lestappen has separation anxiety (p3 and p4)
landoscar got a taste of the separation anxiety today (p6 and p7)
lmaooo isack got stuck with his two situationships of varying quality he really is a brocedes kid(lisack is the 10/10 and arvisack is the hate-love btw)
so max apparently had a dead battery yet he still managed to drag that shitbox into p3 and lando had a brake duct issue but still took to p6??? they really said fuck these shitass cars im still gonna pull magic outta my ass
in conclusion: i really didnt miss much lmaoooo but my drivers did great so im happy!! and im working on that lestappen podium summoning circle, just gotta finish adding the blood and dead engines :]
guess who forgot it was a sprint weekend!!!!
my sleep schedule is fucked!!!!
its almost 3am and im thinking about the blorbos (lestappen and brocedes) again why are they unceasing😭😭😭😭
very late austrian gp recap!!!:
george won (i am neutral about him most of the time). i did not get my lestappen podium (im not neutral on this if it wasnt obvious) despite (jokingly) predicting that a cadillac would be sacrified
but its okay bc MAX P2 AND KIMI P3!!! im so close to my lestappen + one of their multiple kids podium dream!!!! (im probably delusional)
on that note: oscar broke up with p5 and is now dating p4!!! lando got stuck with p7 but he finished a race this time!!! his engine didnt kill itself again!!!
dnfs: carlos' car got the chair (suspected electrical problems), lance's car had an ers issue, and both cadillacs shit the bed (as usual) or should i say set the bed on fire bc THEIR BRAKES OVERHEATED
liam p9 and arvid p10 despite liam's car getting real hot. as in he said it was a little bit on fire. what the fuck
lewis and max battled!!! probably the most exciting part
charles got p8. i will not comment. pls ignore the screams in the distance im just voicing my. happiness. yeah that
kimi had brake problems so for funsies im gonna predict it now that kimi and george's luck will switch around until they both somehow crash out in the final two races of the season
wow im looking a pic of the podium and uh: max does NOT look suicidal this time, george is being george (serving cunt), and kimi looks slightly suicidal. smth smth divorced parents and their kid on parent teacher conference day
ive already posted about the ferrari pr video. im still pissed off. its getting scary out there, lock your shit guys
in conclusion: when i post a pic of a lestappen podium summoning circle you're welcome to donate your sacrifices. this is what happens when you get chosen by the physical manifestation of catholic guilt and the guy who matches his freak to an unnatural and probably illegal degree
gonna drop a full recap at some point today bc i slept through the race (i needed the sleep) but the summoning circle did not work. yes a cadillac was kinda sacrificed but i did NOOOT mean for its brakes to be set on fire okay
The Ferrari interviewer who brought up Brocedes fanfic is so messed up.
That's using a fic writer's beloved, handcrafted story as a punchline for Lewis' real-life trauma without anyone's consent just for clicks.
Keep fandom in fandom spaces!!
oh yeah btw. whoever on the ferrari pr team that has an ao3 acc decided to show LEWIS HAMILTON a GODDAMN EXPLICIT 130K BROCEDES FIC (which is now locked thank god) needs to be EXECUTED. it is BASIC FUCKING FANDOM ETIQUETTE to NEVER show fics to the SUBJECTS OF SAID FICS ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID
quali already pissed me off and then i found out about this. are we serious.
