this man does not have a library science degree

Haley (she/her, 22)  the url is a tmg reference and the blog is mostly tma, taz, and dnd

[violentoffender]

[redfagdiver]

I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna be scrubbed I wanna b

[astoldbyidiots]

[slashermary]

‘you’ve just met yourself. i’ve known you for years’ is still the most romantic thing i’ve ever heard and they let my favorite little cornfed closetcase say it on live television to another man. incredible.

[slashermary]

supernatural. this is from the cw’s supernatural. like all great modern romance, this is about destiel. please don’t disrespect our troops

[phantomrose96]

I want all animals to become sapient enough to produce art specifically because I want to see what sort of sex homunculus caricature each species would create if given the ability to draw

[phantomrose96]

Like we've already got the anime waifu with the needle-waist and watermelon-bazonkas and borzoi-legs and bug-eyes. Now show me a fucked-up stupid beetle as drawn by a horny beetle. I want to see what a cartoonishly sexy lion looks like according to lions. I want to see the most ridiculous drawing of a peahen that would have the peacocks squaring up by the fountain.

[phantomrose96]

We give this power to ostriches and they just start drawing people

[irradiatedsnakes]

you cant just say that man

[quietwingsinthesky]

do you think bowser ever gets anxious after kidnapping peach again that he went too far this time and he calls mario up in the middle of the night to make sure they’re still on for tennis and gokarting next weekend

[quietwingsinthesky]

painstakingly dialing mario’s landline on a comically small telephone only for luigi to pick up instead and he has to ask him to put his brother on the phone. not that luigi isn’t part of weekend plans, but like this is really more of a mario & bowser situation and it’d be rude to drag his brother into it if there’s a problem. so anyway then luigi puts the receiver down to go get his brother and bowser sits there tapping his claws on his table and this is agony, actually, he shouldn’t have called at all, it’s late enough at his castle so it has to be even later over in the mushroom kingdom. but just as he’s about to put the phone down, mario answers all chipper—mario mario speaking, who’s-a calling? which is a ridiculous question because there’s no way luigi didn’t already tell him.—and bowser has to ask him. look, mario, i know i dangled peach in a bird cage over a pit of lava the other day, and when you showed up, i let my son throw giant flaming hammers at you, and there’s no hard feelings about that, right? and there’s a few seconds of silence before mario laughs and reassures him it’s all in the day’s work of a plumber, an explanation bowser has never thought to really question since he only knows two plumbers and it does all seem pretty in their wheelhouse. and then he’s embarrassed for worrying so much so he tries to end the call quickly, but mario just ribs him about how badly he’s going to lose the next race, and then he starts asking bowser how junior is, and does bowser want any of the leftovers since he and luigi really do cook way too much for two, be a shame to let it go to waste. and by the time bowser manages to hang up, this has gone from leftovers into him and junior and the koopalings all being invited over to the mario household for dinner, so long as they don’t park their airship on the front lawn and leave the cannons at home.

[quietwingsinthesky]

op approved tags. you’re the only person here who sees my vision

[rylandsgrace]

[crabussy]

really fond of humans just from an appearance standpoint. the long legs. the manes of hair that can come in practically any colour and texture. those crazy high-contrast eyes with the white scleras and colourful irises. the fingers being so much longer than the toes. there's a lot to love. solid 10/10 animal species

[crabussy]

BAFFLINGLY SPOT ON COMPARISON.

[crabussy]

sometimes I have to stop myself from posting shit like "who made replacing a bike chain so erotic" because I remember the number of people who see my posts and I have to take a step back and reconsider my choices. sometimes I have to hide my true and sincere thoughts in a post about how I'm not posting them because it is funnier this way

[crabussy]

artist's impression

[crabussy]

whatever. it's just reaching between all its delicate parts to wrench out its guts with lots of sweating and straining. while it's upside down and immobilised. and then it's just taking the slick and shiny new chain and feeding it gently through gears and between metal before pulling it taut until the derailleur is extended and the chain clicks into place and can no longer be removed. I; think I'm bicycle. I mean bisexual

[crabussy]

forgot what website I'm on apparently. peace and love on pervert planet

[homunculus-argument]

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

[miss-hexatrix]

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

[wherestoriescomefrom]

why did you people come up with russian names for what is supposed to be a movie set in italy. what was the thought process here. why does she sound like she walked out of a tolstoy novel

[wherestoriescomefrom]

an insane response, but i can't fight this. carry on

[wherestoriescomefrom]

im being hunted for sport in the notes

[ryebreadgf]

something something the poetry of science etc

[ryebreadgf]

woah

[dramaticwriter]

yeah

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i don’t get horror movies, why doesn’t the protagonist just act in a way which will prevent a story from being told or piece of entertaining media made

[teathattast]

[whatcoloristhatcat]

seal point

[lichenes]

aye aye captain

[raisinchallah]

literally thank god sex isnt real and was just invented by big fiction to emphasize greater social and psychological themes i was getting scared id have to do all that

[exeggcute]

one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.

and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[exeggcute]

can you imagine.

[bisexualshakespeare]

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

[cleverlittlefox]

[cleverlittlefox]

[cleverlittlefox]

[shaneholeander]

I fully understand this isn’t everyone, but love the sect of m/m shippers who don’t want to be inserted into the relationship at all. dont want to fuck them, don’t want x/reader. this isn’t about me it’s about my boys being in situations and then fucking about it. I’m barely a fly on the wall im not even here.

[bossymarmalade]

this used to be most of fandom 😫

[derryderrydown]

Too nice and accurate to stay in comments, @petralemaitre

#my blorbos are not my type#they are each other's type

[bookgeekgrrl]

#yeah those guys are exhausting #they live on the other side of the screen #I am watching them like a kid with an ant farm #could not pay me to go in there with them (@dsudis)

[brechtian]

oh god it must feel insane to play guildenstern every night and say that line at the end "There must have been a moment, at the beginning, where we could have said--no. But somehow we missed it. Well, we'll know better next time." Like an audience only has to see it play out once but as that actor every single night for months you have to watch this character re-forget and make the same choices and fight against the same tide towards the inevitable conclusion and swear that there's a way to do it differently next time. rinse repeat.

[cymae-mesa]

In the Globe's recent Titus Andronicus every character carries a candle representing their life. Those candles end up getting snapped and smashed and cut up on so many ways.... And then carried into the candle making vat which is on stage at all times to be turned into the candles which will be used in the next performance.

One of the most powerful images of inevitably and cyclical violence I've ever seen.

[frodo-of-the-nine-fingers]

@hamletthedane