i can lift you up

@sethandaberry

I could lift you up I could show what you wanna see And take you where you want to be You can be my luck Even if the sky is falling down I know that we'll be safe and sound

16 posts

"Where do I go if you leave?"

Send one of these in my askbox to see how my muse reacts ( x )

❝ don’t— please, don’t.❞

「 she always does this, and it wasn’t fucking fair. it wasn’t fair how wrapped around her finger he was, and at the first sign of her distress- all seth wants to do is to pull her toward him and never let her go. to kiss her forehead, and her nose, and her cheek until those tears in her eyes were gone. until that waver to her voice was replaced with a smile. because, that’s how he loved cherry. he loved her in a way where his happiness means fuck all if it means the girl is.

which, in a really fucked up way, was almost comical given that cherry and happiness were synonyms in the first place.

his hands twitch at his side before they’re in his pockets, brown eyes tearing away from the form in front of him to look at anything else. if he doesn’t look at her, he can get mad. he can tell her things that float around in his head when he’s not with her, and thinking over the situation.

she had dj. and, as much as it sometimes looked like she hates him— it also always looked like she’d go back to him. always. and, she had stevie. and leo, and cruz, and toby, and a long list of people who seemed to bow down at her.

the real question is where does he go. who does he have. 」

❝ we can’t do this anymore, okay? i can’t do this.❞

「 he’s lying. he could do this for the rest of his life. it’d take pieces of him, leave him hollow. but, he could do it. and, if she cherry tried to stop him before he walked out that door right now — he probably would. 」

She would probably get a headache if they kept talking themselves in circles like that, and Cherry stared at him in disbelief when he asked her to explain herself again. She wasn’t sure how many ways there were to put in words that she fucking wanted him back, and that her boyfriend was nothing but a safety net to keep herself from being alone if Seth decided to walk away. Rubbing her forehead and turning around for a second, hands on her hips and eyes closed, the girl focused on the cool air filling the room now, deciding she needed a breather too before flexing her fingers again, hands slightly raised and gesturing with her words as if that could help the meaning come across.

"What I’m saying, Seth, it’s that it wasn’t just about sex for me. Not anymore. But I can’t - we can’t do this, because this can’t be worked out, and what I’m saying is that you drive me crazy in about ten different ways and not all of them are good but some of them are fucking amazing and I don’t know what to do anymore. What I’m saying it’s that it’s not just about having attention, but it’s about having you wanting me. It’s about knowing that you’ll grab me tighter if you see him with me, knowing that I’ll have a reassurance that it still matters to you whether or not I’m with him. It’s about me thinking of you when I’m with him because I can’t get you out of my fucking mind either."

Refraining from the urge to add if that made things clear or not, the girl let out a deep breath, feeling for once like she was the one on the verge of possibly facing rejection. Rolling her shoulders as if it would help her ease off the tension, Cherry placed her hands on her hips before shrugging lightly. “But we can’t - we can’t really do anything about it, can we? So it doesn’t matter. But I can’t pretend I like seeing you around with other girls, and I can’t pretend that you’re just another fuck buddy to me, Seth.”

She looked frustrated, and if he was sober-- he wouldn't blame her. He was being outright difficult to talk to at the moment. However, he wasn't, and her frustration only seemed to add onto his own. Leaving him with gritted teeth, and his eyes still narrowed at her because he was waiting for whatever she'd say that'd clear this up. He was so heated, and in denial that he didn't think that what she would say was exactly what he wanted to hear for months now. Several of them. His jaw instantly slackened in surprise when he realized there was no way he was hearing some twisted version of what he wanted to hear-- this was real. The truth. And, even upon realizing it, he found himself denying it. Then getting mad because it took her so long to say it, before deflating on every negative emotion considering there's no way he could stay mad or upset or whatever after being told that.

Perhaps it wasn't like he thought it'd be in fantasies that he thought would just stay fantasies, especially after DJ came back. But, it was far from disappointing even if he couldn't muster up a grin that he'd thought he'd give. Instead he was still swallowing, and blinking, and taking the admittance in. DJ's mentions still caused the same burn of jealousy that always spiked up, but, it was also clear to him that she brought him because he meant less than Seth did. Which was still utterly unbelievable to him. Fierce Bang was suppose to be the relationship that everybody wanted to model their's after because it was so dreamy and wonderful and almost fairy tale-like. They were suppose to be grossly in love with each other, married with a dog and a picket fence (no kids because Cherry didn't want them). That was how it was suppose to be.

Except, apparently it wasn't. Which Seth had known, sort of. Given the cheating that had been going on-- both sides, really. But, he always figured it was a phase. Another one for them to go through before they both realize that they just want each other. He thought he was a phase. And, maybe it won't be easy for him to actually get out of that thought process, he could accept it right in this moment because he was eager to. Because, it's what he's wanted for so long and he isn't going to just let go of it.

Cherry seemed to have finished, but, he was still taking in the information. Waking himself out of the shock that all of his limbs seemed to have find themselves in. He swallowed thickly a few times, blinking downward and licking his lips as the final thought crossed his mind.

She wanted him-- not his sex, not his attention; him.

And, that's absolutely all he needed to know before he pushed himself off the windowsill and made his way toward her in a purposeful stride before crashing his body and lips against hers with as much passion as he could. Hands found themselves on hips, chest against the other's, and tongue tracing the lips he knew so well. Seth could practically feel his body humming in a way that he didn't know it could during the kiss because it was like it was actually registering that it was okay to feel like this. Maybe not to everybody else, but, it was okay to Cherry and that's all that matter to him right now.

Her jaw locked at his answer, because Cherry did know - it was a stupid question, of course, and she was aware that she had Seth on a hold that he seemed to try to leave more often than not, but she didn’t want to let go, didn’t even consider the idea when she wanted him nowhere else but there, wanting her, needing her. It was fucked up in its own sort of way, but a lot of things about Cherry were and she had a really hard time denying herself what she wanted.

If what she wanted was Seth, then so be it.

"It’s not that easy, Seth. God, it’s not - you don’t even understand what I’m trying to say." With good reason, since Cherry was making less and less sense each passing minute, given that forming her thoughts into coherent sentences grew as even more of a task the further tangled up in the subject they got, and she knew it wouldn’t be easy to make her way out of that one without saying things she didn’t want to bring up just yet. But he was leaving again, and part of her thought that walking away would mean more than just physically removing himself from the party, and Cherry just couldn’t stand the thought again. It was never easy in the first place, but the amount of time they spent together caused her to be almost dependent on it now, refusing to be cut off one more time.

It took her a little bit to catch up with him since people kept getting in her way, but the girl was determined, not even bothering to knock on the door as she followed him into the room and pushed the door open, hurt flashing across her expression at the realization of how exasperated he was before shutting the door, nervously rattling the doorknob at his question and then letting go of it, finers flexing as she tried to put her thoughts in order.

"Because I’m not letting you walk away. I can’t let you walk away. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, Seth, there’s a reason why I’m here right now. There’s a reason I fucking pry you away from anyone else, and it’s because I don’t want them to have you. Not in the way that I do. I don’t want them to be with you the way I am with you, and I thought you knew that. It’s been driving me crazy every time I have to watch you put your hands on someone else’s body, and God, don’t you understand? I need you to need me. I need to… I need to know that you seeing me with someone else makes you feel the same, Seth, because I can’t be alone in this.”

Her rant came out jumbled in places and she was getting more worked up by the time she finished it, one rand running nervously through her hair before shedding her own jacket, thinking the slightly cooler air in the room would also clear her mind. Dropping her jacket in a chair and keeping herself from assuming an expression of defeat, Cherry’s arms crossed in front of her chest, a slight bit of vulnerability written across her features. “I know that you want me, but sometimes I just need to know how fucking much.”

Fingers flexed and then wiggled as he regained his breath, a noticable flush on his body at this point because between everything- it was beginning to get harder and harder for him to function. He'd be fanning himself if didn't think that'd look incredibly dumb right now. Instead, his eye caught the window, and he walked towards it- opening it enough to let air in and basking slightly when it came to taking a breath of the outside. He didn't keep his back turned to Cherry, though, and instead moved to turn his body, leaning back against the windowsill with his hands behind him and on top of it as well as he just waited for an explanation. One that he should have asked a long time ago, but, was too scared to. Hell, he still was scared, but, drunkenness plus exhaustion always equaled something like this he supposed.

"That's--" he swallowed thickly, eyes narrowing and eyebrows furrowing as he thought over her words. Thought over everything she had been saying since she approached him. A conclusion could be drawn from it, but, he didn't trust it. Why would he? It's all he's ever fucking wanted since he fell for her, and it's a known fact that Seth doesn't get what he wants. Ever. Not Cherry, not Marie, not even freaking Maddie. Maybe this was self deprecating, and pathetic, and too sensitive, but, it just piled up after awhile. It got tiring. It made Seth feel unwanted, and used, and maybe that made him the classic "nice guy". To get mad at Marie because she chose the tool over him, or to be a little pissy because Toby seemed to be pulling a fast one on him with Maddie, but, it made him feel small. But, nobody could ever make him feel smaller than Cherry could.

Which meant her doing this. Her almost blatantly admitting there could be something there-- it was wrong. It wasn't the truth. Seth was just hearing things, looking into things that weren't there. Hearing a version he wanted to hear rather than what was actually being said. Because, that's what guys do. And, he's a guy. So, that's what makes sense right now. Since there was no way in hell Cherry felt the same.

Not when he was in fucking love with her.

It's why he couldn't help but choke out a simple-- "w-what?" He couldn't find anything else to say when he didn't even think he felt like he heard the correct version. That his brain somehow picked and chose sentences. Something.

"What-- what are you saying?"

It was weird that something as subtle as an expression change could contribute to her sour mood, but the truth was that the sheer disappointment that seemed to take over his features when realizing it was her actually hurt Cherry, since part of her was convinced that this was just a way of getting her attention. Each step back was met with one forward from her, and while she wouldn’t physically block his way out, the girl wasn’t feeling much like letting him walk away from this conversation, a deep frown settling on her forehead at his hiss. “You didn’t seem to fucking mind it so much,” she retorted, eyes focused on the drink he was pouring, somewhat tempted to just dump it over his head out of sheer frustration already building up within her.

Scoffing at his words, the girl shook her head before shooting him a glare; she was well aware of how he felt, of course, but he still let her into his bed day after day, even knowing that she was committed. Her reasons for doing all of it didn’t matter as much as his reasons, the way she saw it. “You knew what you were getting into, Seth. You know that I was — that I’m with him.” Was probably was the more correct form, once that, all things considered, her being with DJ wasn’t much more than a status quo thing, and she thought it was clear by the way her time was spent chasing after Seth and directing her actions towards him much more than towards her boyfriend. Really, she was standing there having this argument with him for a reason.

She couldn’t help the sheer moment of panic, however, when he once again mentioned walking away, and while Seth always seemed to come back, Cherry was always scared that the next time it happened, it’d be the last one too. Frozen in place for a couple of seconds, it took Seth turning his back to her to get the girl to react, recovering from her dropped expression and instead gathering a look of determination, leaning over and wrapping her fingers around his forearm to keep him from leaving. “Don’t you fucking walk away from me, Seth. Jessica can wait. But, I don’t know — what do you want from me? What do you want to hear? Because I told you how this was going to be. I told you that… fuck, Seth, what do you want me to do? Leave DJ and just wait around for you when we can’t even be out in public without you getting anxious? Sneak around for God knows how long? I can’t do that. I need something more than this to hold on to.”

Theoretically, DJ had that something more, but, in practice, she’d leap for a shred of a chance of hanging onto Seth before taking a step forward for a set future with him.

It's not like he ever really thought he was going to get away with walking away, but, the gesture made him feel in control. In no way was Seth trying to emotionally manipulate Cherry, he wasn't doing this to purposely elicit the reaction he was getting-- the boy honestly meant everything he was saying. And, a part of him does think that he if was let to walk away, he would. It's always the fact that Cherry is there, even after he attempted to push her away, even after she pushed him away; wanting him. Nobody has to wave in his face that he fucked Cherry continuously throughout break while she was dating the guy he was suppose to be friends with and that was wrong. Though, on the same vein, he fucking hates DJ's guts now and can't really help it.

The way he just seemed to swoop in, make himself comfortable anywhere he wanted-- it fucked with Seth. Made him jealous to the point where their relationship severed because of it. He's cold with him, though, he does try to be pleasant with him to the best of his ability. If anything, he takes most of his aggression out on Landon when it comes down to it. Easy target, and the other bane of his existence, really.

Blinking rapidly, he actually listened to what Cherry was saying to him and swallowed. She was at it again. Drawing him right back in with her words, and actually seemingly fighting for him was basically his kryponite. But, the alcohol in his system acted as a truth serum. Made him emotional. Made him angry. Made him want to step forward and push her against the wall to kiss her.

"You know what I want from you." You. "And, I know you can't give that to me. So, it's like we're-- we're running in a fucking circle." His head shook, bringing a cup to his lips again and taking another gulp-- allowing the girl to continue talking in his silence. "Well, if he can give you what you want, and I can't- then be with him. Stop dragging me into it. You can't fucking have both, Cherry. Especially if you won't even let me have any fucking fun, either. What the fuck is that?"

His speech is slurred and his head his shaking and the rest of his body is trembling, too. Causing him to have to pull away from Cherry once more and keep walking. Further away. Not exactly from his cousin in particular, but, from everybody. Everything. Because, people might know, but, talking about it like that was already making him anxious. And, talking in public to Cherry even more so. It felt like eyes were on him, and his skin heated more and more as the argument went on from both frustration and that. Finding the nearest door, he pushed it open with his shoulder and breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw no one else in the bedroom.

The cups found their ways to meeting the dresser, the moving about sloshing the drinks to the point where the beer had splashed on his hands and forearms. It caused him to shrug off the unbuttoned shirt he was wearing to leave himself in the grey tank top to wipe off the beer as he allowed himself to breathe. However, it wasn't long before he felt another presence in the room with him, and a glance to the mirror showed him who it was. Not that he was surprised.

"Why do you even care so much?"

Doing things that were overall really bad wasn’t really a new thing for Cherry, and that was how she could pretty much be okay with going back to letting DJ be extremely affectionate with her (especially in public) even though she spent most of the break sleeping with her cousin at every single opportunity she got.

And no, she could not deny to herself that somewhere along the line, her now boyfriend was more someone to flaunt around, someone to have by her side just so she could see Seth’s jaw tighten at the sight, just so she could reassure herself a bit more about how much he wanted her. It wasn’t that she didn’t care for her cousin, but there was some kind of twisted satisfaction from knowing that it worked, that he actually cared about who’s lips were pressed against hers, about who’s hand she was holding, and Cherry had yet to find something as exhilarating as knowing she’d gotten him riled up, that she’d made him possessive just by reminding him of what he both had and hadn’t.

But to see him dishing it back was not nearly as fun for her, her grip on DJ’s arm growing tight whenever whatshername seemed too friendly around Seth and her fingers almost crushing the plastic cup she was holding when they seemed to outright dry hump on the dancefloor. Maybe on a sober mind she’d have looked at this more calmly and realize what he was doing, but the small part of her that feared that maybe, just /maybe/ Seth actually wanted to take his mind away from Cherry was far too loud for her to ignore, and this wasn’t okay. She might not have been Seth’s, but if there was something she’d been working on making clear for months now was that Seth was most definitely hers.

Picking up a cup that had been left behind by someone and still had about half of the drink in it as soon as she spotted Seth and the girl parting ways, Cherry waited until he was at a safe distance before forcefully walking into her, spilling the drink almost completely on the other girl - being careful not to make too much of a scene as she apologized so Seth wouldn’t turn to look at them. After the girl left to try and somewhat fix her clothes, Cherry discarded the cup without much care, having given DJ a bullshit excuse and left him on the other side of the dancefloor.

Positioning herself on the bar right next to Seth, one hand resting on his arm, the girl flashed him an overly sweet, obviously faked smile, turning around enough that she was facing him. “So, are you doing charity now by taking bimbos on dates and making them feel better about themselves or do you actually stoop that low when I’m not with you? Because I have to say, I’m not interested in fucking her by association.”

His initial thought when it came to the touch on his arm was it being Jessica rather than who it really was. He even smiled a bit as he poured and kept his eyes downward to make sure he didn't spill it. The voice hitting his ears made him jerk in surprise, spilling some of the beer on his hand and causing him to shake it off before bringing the hand to his mouth to suck it off as well. When he looked toward her, there was a glare written on his expression, arm jerking away from her by the time she was done talking. "Fuck you," he hissed out, leaning his body away from her and taking two steps over to put distance between them. This might've been some ploy to make Cherry jealous, but, that didn't mean he wasn't mad. Pissed off, really. The girl opening her mouth to say what she did not really placating him at all.

One solo cup down, he grabbed another to start pouring the drink into with a sour expression. "Yeah, well, I'm not interested in fucking DJ by association, but, you don't see me complaining," he waited a beat, "ever." His head shook, letting out a small huff as his thoughts ran to how shitty all of this was. How he was actually sick of it, and maybe stopping this thing (again) and for good (hopefully) was his best bet of actually being happy. Because, he wasn't. There was moments of bliss with Cherry. Where everything was, well, amazing. But, mostly, it was quite the opposite and it was beginning to grain on him. Especially because there was no reason to it. None. It was just sex. He was fucking himself up for sex. And, well, that was pathetic.

"You don't have to, though. You can just stay with DJ, I can move on, and this can be over, okay? Because, I'm fucking sick of this, Cherry. I'm sick of feeling like shit because you're all over DJ, or he's all over you all the time. I'm sick of you treating me like shit. So, go back to your boyfriend, and leave me alone. Please."

He swallowed after he was done with his speech, keeping his gaze averted from her as he stared down at the drinks. A shaky hand moved to grab the cup that he claimed as his own, bringing it to his lips. "I got to go find Jessica," he murmured after the sip, grabbing the other cup and moving himself to begin to walk away.

She's been trying to get a rise out of him lately, and- as much as he hates to admit it- it's been working.

Seeing her flaunt DJ around like that always made Seth's eyes avert away. For him to swallow, blink, and excuse himself whenever he thought it didn't look suspicious to the people around him. Though, it had to. These people knew-- at least, most of them. Avery, Stevie-- they try to get him to talk about it, open up about it. But, he refuses to. The only person who really knew he had feelings was Nathan, and the guy wasn't around. He's still not sure how his friend didn't judge him for it, and he's grateful-- though, he's not about to take the chance again. He'd rather just sit there with his jaw clenched, and bubbling up feelings.

An opportunity was presented to him, however, and he took it. Without thinking twice. When he had went out for drinks with a few of the guys, he wound up flirting with a girl to the point of getting her number. A few days later, a party was thrown that Cherry was going to be at. No hesitation was given when he called the girl up with the mind of inviting her to the party to flaunt her in front of his cousin. Even if, when he thinks about it later, it was sort of a dick move to Jessica.

She was an affectionate person, so, it was easy for Seth to be able to do this to it's full ability. With his arm around her as much as possible, and dancing with her in such close proximity that he'd be lying if he said that it didn't turn him on a bit. At some point, he even kissed her.

Currently, he was getting the two of them drinks-- already having more than a few of them himself at this point. He had stopped keeping track of Cherry for a little bit, but, he knew she had been around the entire time. Catching her eye quite a few times. It made him feel pretty accomplished, he must say.

The smile grew wider as her cousin made a straight line to her, and Cherry pulled the bar stool away from the counter, indicating that she expected Seth to join her. Sometimes she thought she shouldn’t flatter herself with thinking that she had him wrapped around her finger, but, truthfully, the girl seriously acted as such, settling back into the state of mind of seeing how much further she could go.

”I already bought you a drink, though.”

A hand settled on his arm, body turning on the stool to face him with a softened expression, corners of her mouth still curled up. It felt… rewarding when she asked him to stay and he did, and Cherry wasn’t in the mood to let go of him so soon yet.

”Besides, it’s not like you don’t enjoy hanging out with me.”

Brown eyes fell to look down at the glass that was in front of him, a hesitant hand extending to wrap his fingers around it and tilt it slightly towards him to gaze at the contents. Seth found no reason to question what it was, figuring his cousin knew what he tolerated (he didn't exactly enjoy booze, but, he still drank it) and wouldn't give him something he couldn't down. Still, when he brought it to his lips and let it slide down his throat, the burning sensation made him wince and cough while the glass found it's way back to the counter with a thud.

"How sweet of you."

His hand came up as he coughed once more, then a fist banged gently against his chest as the burning slid down further. He honestly couldn't fathom how Cherry did this as often as she did. As his arm found itself leaning back against the bar, her hand seemed to cover it which instantly made him tense, fingers curling up to form a fist as he pathetically finds himself letting out a hitched breath. Fucking Cherry and the hold she has on him. There's a small pause before he actually looked over at her, the hardness etched on his face softening as soon as he did. Before his eyes rolled-- playfully.

"What gave you that crazy idea?"

Maybe this was about to be the third night Cherry hadn’t gone back home yet, and maybe Seth would try harder to get her to leave if he were to know that; but, she didn’t really have to tell him everything.

Rather, the girl ordered a drink for him as she waited, a little satisfied smile on her face due to the fact that she was convinced she could talk him into pretty much anything.

Honestly, he should just get her home. Shouldn’t have given into the pressure that she put on him that always easily made him bend to her whim. He might be a pushover with everyone on the face of the planet (besides a few select people), but, it was just more with Cherry. Everything seemed to be more with Cherry.

Finding an easy parking spot not too far from the entrance, he exited his car and locked it before making his way through the doors. Within a few seconds he was able to spot Cherry at the bar, and he made his way to sit next to her. Face serious, and eyes lingering forward- he let out a small sigh and shook his head.

”I still feel like I should just take you home.”

Getting a ride home shouldn't be that hard.

I’ll rephrase. You can, but do you really want to?

You do realize I can’t drink— you know what, fine. If it makes you willingly come home later. Fine.

Getting a ride home shouldn't be that hard.

Because I’m a lot of fun. Also, I’m pretty sure you can’t say no to me.

I can say no to you!

Getting a ride home shouldn't be that hard.

Yeah, I’m smart enough to get that. What I want to know is if you’re going to pretend you’re responsible and take me straight home or if you’re going to stay here with me for a little bit.

I was going to take you home before it got to be too late.

Give me one good reason I shouldn’t.

Getting a ride home shouldn't be that hard.

You don’t have to tell me.

Why, do you want to hang out in Long Beach too?

Because I'll come pick you up. I don't like the thought of you out there by yourself.

Getting a ride home shouldn't be that hard.

Spare me the judgment, yeah? I came with a friend and she ditched me.

Some friend.

… Still need a ride?

Getting a ride home shouldn't be that hard.

Well, I cursed up a storm for a bit, then I sat down, got a drink, made a couple phone calls to try to not put down a hundred bucks for a cab back home - you know, the usual.

I’m hanging out at Long Beach, actually.

You're hanging out at Long Beach with no way to get home? Seriously, Cher?

Getting a ride home shouldn't be that hard.

I could’ve been home two hours ago if I hadn’t been ditched.

What the hell have you been doing for two hours? Where are you?

#ooc; it's weird not to tag oh my

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