i take your hand for you to to let it go

cherry bang, twenty one and recently relocated to LA. you know me, i love to lose my mind.

[cherryxbang]

10: My muse sings your muse a lullaby before bed

Maybe she was more than a little wasted, and maybe it was five in the morning, and maybe she smelled vaguely of alcohol and cigarettes, but, in Cherry's currently altered state of mind, none of this really seemed to be a bad thing. Though, then again, she also believed to having been silent from the moment she walked through the front door, even if she walked into at least two pieces of furniture and dropped her shoes to the floor not delicately at all, all but stumbling towards the room she currently shared with Seth.

Going from shedding most of her clothes and brushing her teeth also wasn't exactly a silent operation, something that only dawned upon her when she was crawling into bed and covering her cousin's face in somewhat sloppy kisses only to realize he'd been awake prior to her moving into bed with him. "Oh. I didn't mean to wake you up," the girl said, a giggle to every pause and a slur to her words that made absolutely no confusion about her current state of mind. "Shh, lie down. Go back to sleep. I'll sing to you," she continued, wrapping an arm around him before clearing her throat. "Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep. I'm tired and I want to go to bed," she started, voice somewhat scratchy and an absolute lack of regard for keeping her tone steady, making it an even less pleasant experience than it was already.

[cherryxbang]

29: My muse interrupts whatever yours is doing to sit on your muse’s lap

She knew that, more often than not, Cherry could definitely be considered a pain in Leo's ass, and sometimes she wondered exactly how that made them best friends. She wasn't about to complain, of course, since she was pretty much dependent on having him around her nowadays, but the girl could very much see that he was currently engrossed into whatever he was looking at on his phone. Which didn't sit right with her, since this was supposed to be a party, even if a somewhat lame one as she could tell this far.

Snatching the phone out of his hand and slipping it into her own back pocket, the girl then promptly plopped down on his lap, legs thrown over the unoccupied seat on the couch next to him as one arm went around his shoulders, her other hand holding her drink as the girl grinned at him. "You looked like you were bored, so I decided to make it better by making sure you had a beautiful girl on your lap. You're welcome." A wide grin followed her words before Cherry brought the cup to her lips, taking a small sip and then glancing around them. "Apparently no one in this district knows how to properly throw a party."

[leoxxfitz-blog]

This thing between them was awfully odd. At first, it was just odd to the other people, but, at some point it became rather strange to Leo, as well. Once things in their relationship escalated to her keeping track of how many boners she could give him, he started to not exactly know what their relationship was. Not that he was complaining, or wanting it to stop (in fact, he finds himself wishing it to go further in certain times when he’s thinking with a different head)- the meaning of the two of them just had a question mark next to it in his head. Good thing Leo was never too bothered by the unknown. A soft chuckle left him, turning his body enough to lean himself back against the counter as he watched her work, fingers coming up to subconsciously brush against the corner of his lips where Cherry’s own had been sitting there for just a few seconds too long a moment ago. Nails scratched against the skin before the hand dropped, and he shrugged a lone shoulder. “I don’t know. Probably,” he answered— truthfully, he supposed. “And, yeah, yeah, you fucking did, you shit. It was a deer, too. I have someone who’d pay good money for venison.” As payback, he flicked her shoulder lightly with a snort. “It’s okay. I already know you want me to starve,” he said, grabbing the jam and dipping a finger into it to scoop some up and stick into his mouth.

He was no double dipper, though, and instead just placed the jar down and watched as Cherry got the coffee now. It was nice to see her doing all the work since normally if they were having anything further than cereal— Leo’s the one cooking for them while Cherry all but passed out while she sat at the table. Taking a seat on a stool, an eyebrow raised as she began to rant about DJ, never failing to find himself amused at how that boy would not take a hint. He had thought Cherry had been lying when she told him about how persistent he was until he saw it with his own two eyes. One night the girl’s breaking up with him, the next morning he was coming by with flowers and promising to buy her (and, Leo, normally) breakfast. Neither of them could say no to a free meal.

"Do you think he’d get the hint if you cheated on him?" he asked, not even particularly thinking about using him with the suggestion. It did dawn on him a moment later, which caused his face to take on a look of amusement once more as he thought it over. "I mean, that wouldn’t even be a hint. That’d be you sucking face and fucking someone else. Preferably me." This is when the toeing of the flirting went so far over the line that Leo didn’t know if he was being serious, or not. He hadn’t for a long time, actually. "None taken," he chimed in after her ‘no offense’, pouring syrup over his waffles before just stabbing it with a fork and taking a bite. God, he loved waffles. "Can I have a blowjob?” he shot a very cocky grin in her direction after he had swallowed, then took another bite as his shoulders shrugged. “Tell him that you think you guys should see other people. And, that the other people he should be seeing is probably a mental ward”

[cherryxbang]

Her eyes rolled at his answer, and while Cherry didn’t expect any less, the girl still feigned a lightly annoyed expression. “And then you call me a fucking tease,” she said, the accusatory tone to her voice almost betrayed by the huge smirk on her lips, because really, Cherry was the tease between the two of them, and she loved it. If anyone asked her what her relationship with Leo was, the answer would be pretty straight – best friend, no underlying feelings, no messy crushes or longings. But she was very undeniably attracted to him, and she’d most definitely do a lot more than just hint at things if she was given the opportunity hadn’t Cherry just enjoyed pushing that invisible line as further as she could without officially crossing it. Really, for some reason the playful, flirty teasing worked really well for her and her ego, and she wasn’t about to let it go anytime soon.

Even if it meant what she imagined to be legitimately mindblowing sex, but whatever.

“Nah, I wouldn’t call it starve. I just want for you to depend solely on me for everything so I can like, make you my personal slave in return or something. It’s still a plan in the works,” she said finally, nose slightly crunched as if she was actually considering it. “The deer will still be there tomorrow. I, however, would have probably given into the temptation to blow his house u if I had to go through this afternoon alone, so you can clearly see the priority here.” Listening to his suggestion and quite thankful she wasn’t drinking coffee at the moment because, really, sometimes it was just hilarious how clueless he’d be, Cherry offered him a smirk, glancing up and down at him before answering. “You say that like I’d need an excuse to fuck you.”

Her focus on the conversation shifted as soon as Leo made his suggestion, however,  but she made a solid effort to keep the conversation up. Even if temporarily. “But no, probably not. Though getting him committed isn’t a horrible idea - I’m like, this close to going to his family and tell them that this is pretty much stalker-ish behavior, but I’m not sure if I’m willing to stop getting free shit just yet. It’s a toss up.” The girl waited for a few beats before getting up and pretending she was doing something by the sink just to have an excuse to walk right behind Leo, arms then wrapping loosely around his shoulders as she bent down to speak by his ear, tone dropping just slightly. “I’ll consider the blowjob, though, if you tell me one thing. How often, exactly, do you picture me on my knees for you?” She stayed there just for a second longer, allowing another grin to light up her features before pulling away completely.

[leoxxfitz-blog]

The embrace had a very high chance of something bad happening given the distance between the two, and the fact that they were on a freaking tree— but, he couldn’t say no to the hug. He couldn’t not allow his arms to wrap around her, and hug her, and just allow himself to relax because the past two canons he heard that day weren’t for her. His face buried into her shoulder as he let out a soft sound of relief, actually being able to hold the girl, and having very little intentions of letting her go. Or, at least, ever losing her again. He couldn’t go through that. Not knowing if she was okay, or alive, or what. He didn’t realize just how much it had affected him until now that he was actually around her. Swallowing as best as he could when they pulled away, he let out a dry laugh. “Worried about me? What are you talking about? I’m invincible,” he told her lightly, his own hand coming up to cup Cherry’s face to take it upon himself to look her over as well. “As for you? You aren’t. Which means I had a lot more reason to be worried than you.” Her questions made him shake his head, his hand falling from her cheek to her shoulder. “I’m okay. I got into a few fights at the Cornucopia, but, other than that— my kills have been long distance,” he nodded over at his bow. 

Leaning back against the tree when she went to grab the water bottle, his eyes closed and he tried to will himself not to think too much about water before hearing Cherry talk again. “We’ll share,” he said, not really able to say no as he took the water bottle and uncapped it with shaky hands. He brought it to his lips and told himself to drink slowly, even the first sip doing wonders to how shitty he was feeling. The boy made sure not to drink too much, or too fast- taking sip after sip before holding it out to her afterward.

"How’ve you been holding it up the past few days?"

[cherryxbang]

Her fingers threaded into his short hair for a while, nails scraping against his scalp as a way of offering comfort until he absolutely pulled away, and really, Cherry wished they could have stayed like that for a bit longer. She let out a dry laugh at his comment, even if it was hard to find it in her to have any sort of sense of humor in this situation. Maybe it was the fact that she was worried sick about losing him - going home would be pointless if Leo wasn't there for her to come back to, and sometimes the thought of things eventually coming down to it pestered her to no end. Cherry did the best she could to push them away, though, focusing on her two main priorities (keep him alive and keep herself alive) and trying to ignore the rest until she absolutely had to face it. But either way, she was still painfully aware of how easy it would be for things to go wrong for either of them, and her smile seemed hesitant for a second before shaking her head. "You're not invincible. And you - you're underestimating me. I'm pretty sure I remember kicking your ass in training at least once."

Still, she reached for one of his hands, lacing their fingers together and just trying to find some comfort in the touch and nodding a bit at his words. "I had a close call, but I managed to get out. It was, uh, the girl from district 7," she said, and while the other girl seemed to have as much clue as to what she was doing as Cherry did, but it was still terrifying to be face to face with it - and somehow even stranger to know that a canon blared off because of her. "Other than that I've been okay, I suppose, if you count out the fact that I'm exhausted and mostly unable to catch more than a few minutes of sleep at a time. I'm mostly just... running and trying to let them reduce the numbers themselves. I know I'm not going to make it if I try to take them all on my own, so." The shrug she gave was almost one of disinterest, because Cherry was trying to keep herself as emotionally disconnected from ending up possibly dead as much as she could.

It was hard to keep herself from being too eager when the water was offered to her, though, and Cherry kept in mind to drink it slowly, even swishing the first sip of water around her mouth before swallowing and drinking a couple more. She didn't finish the water, though, afraid to dry up their supply and face not actually having any more. "We need to find a supply, or something. I've been heading north ever since I left the Cornucopia and I haven't seen any, so maybe we should head in a different direction or something."

[leoxxfitz-blog]

Hunting was actually a hobby for Leo, too. It wasn’t just something he had to do, but, despised. He found comfort in it, and the woods were a peaceful place to him. Honestly, he spent a lot more time there than he did at his own home. Which isn’t really saying much because he spent a lot more time at Cherry’s, but, that wasn’t the point. The eighteen year old just enjoyed the woods, and it was a sport for him just as much as it was a survival tactic. With the string of the bow pulled back, standing next to a tree in hopes the deer wouldn’t see him, he held his breath and looked through one eye and was seconds away from letting the arrow fly through the air to hit his target when his phone rang loudly. The noise made him and the deer both jolt, the arrow slipping from his fingertips and completely missing the now running away animal as he let out a curse. The teenager slipped the bow to be held by his shoulder before shoving his hand into his pocket to grab his mobile, answering it without looking at the caller ID— he knew exactly who it was regardless. “Yeah?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, any irritation gone as he heard her voice. It was his fault, anyway, he should have silenced his phone. And, there was always tomorrow.

"That sounds like my usual plans, honestly," he mused with a smirk, moving towards where he had the rabbits and squirrels that he had gotten from traps. It was only two each, but, he considered that a win. "I’ll have to stop by my house, but, I’ll be there before DJ. Pinky promise," he told her, pressing his phone between his shoulder and ear to allow him to use both of his hands. "I’ll see you soon," he told her, then allowed the phone to drop into his hand to put it back in his pocket.

After dropping off the kills and taking a shower, it didn’t take him long at all before he was letting himself into the Bang residence. It still made him laugh that he could just walk in, but, DJ had to knock still or get his ear chewed off. “Can I just eat you?” he snickered at himself as he entered the kitchen, a look of purse amusement on his face. “Ooh. Waffles. I’m actually in the mood for that,” he rubbed his stomach, standing next to Cherry and moving to kiss her cheek. “You caught me while I was hunting.”

[cherryxbang]

Letting out a low snicker at Leo's answer, Cherry raised her eyebrows at him as he walked in, clearly not thrown off at all by the comment. They had a really, really flirtatious relationship (one that kind of skyrocketed after a certain encounter she still remembered fondly and hoped he did, too), and honestly, the girl had far too much fun torturing her best friend as much as she could with it. "Depends. Are you going to keep being all talk and no action?" She grinned at him, though, returning his kiss and letting her lips press against the corner of his, then moving away to retrieve the jam and butter from the fridge in case he wanted any, along with syrup for the waffles.

Seemingly awfully proud of herself at that, Cherry chuckled lightly. "Did I scare them off again? Because I told you I didn't need to go with you to mess up your game. Not that I want to totally screw your means of living or anything." Pulling one of the stools to place it next to Leo before grabbing two mugs and pouring them coffee, the girl slid one to him and then pulled a waffle into her own plate, frowning slightly before sighing out as she slathered jam over her waffle. "Leo, I'm not sure what to do anymore. Like, he just keeps calling and informing me we're going to do things, and you know I tried to break it off like ten times, but he just keeps coming back, and I - well, he likes buying us dinner, so I'm at least getting something from it. But it's getting annoying, honestly."

Taking a bite out of her food and then setting down her fork again, Cherry shook her head. "And he's just - no offense, but he's such a boy. I'm pretty sure he was asking me for a blowjob the other day and it was the most awkward thing ever and I'm just not really into it like, at all. But he doesn't catch a hint. Or twenty," the girl finished off, lips slightly pursed at the end of her rant.

[leoxxfitz-blog]

Swatting at the back of his neck, he grimaced as he looked at his hand and then wiped it off on his pants, continuing to walk through the woods as quietly as he could. Considering he had made sure to tell Cherry to not try to get any supplies and just run off, he had to do the exact opposite to survive. He grabbed backpack and weapons, even picking a few people off before jetting in a random direction to attempt to find his best friend. Night had fallen, and no progress had been made. Canons shooting off every now, and then did nothing to calm him. It only made him more persistent to not stop walking, and searching until he found her. Because, he’d refuse to believe that he didn’t do the one thing he volunteered to do. 

His hand wiped at his brow, feeling the sweat build and fighting the urge to grab the water bottle and chug the entire thing. Dehydration was a bitch, but, he was determined to allow his lips to stay chapped and his throat to dry until he found Cherry, and they can split the water accordingly. Leo’s other hand was gripping a knife, just in case he came across somebody that wasn’t the girl he was currently looking for. The eighteen year old didn’t care how old, or who they were, or whether they were threatening or not when he came across them— at least, not now. He wanted to get Cherry home; the end. That’s why he was here, and he wasn’t going to let anything stop that mission.

The soft crunching of his boots stopped immediately when he heard a sound that caused his initial reaction to tighten around the grip of the knife. Until he realized what the sound was. Their whistle. “Oh, thank fuck,” he murmured to himself as he walked in quicken footsteps toward the direction of where he heard it. “Cher?” he called out quietly, not wanting to alert people to where the two of them are, but, also not exactly knowing where she was. “Cherry?” It took a bit of looking around before his eyes finally found her in the trees, the rapid beating of his heart skipping for a minute out of pure joy because his best friend was alive. Leo had to admit it was easier to breathe now.

He wasted no time in moving toward the tree, putting his knife away in it’s sheath and then shrugging the bow from his shoulder- the backpack next. “Take this,” he told her in almost a whisper. “Careful, it’s heavy.” And, the backpack was. Once she had each of the things, his hands gripped at the branch until he was able to get on the branch a little higher than Cherry’s but relatively next to her still to settle. “There’s water in the backpack.”

[cherryxbang]

The sound of footsteps made her tense for a second, because Cherry was more than aware she could attract all kinds of unwanted attention when she tried to call out for Leo. Her body tensed against the tree for a second, bracing herself before a far too familiar voice broke her out of it, relief washing in waves so big that she had just enough common sense to not jump out of the tree and run in the voice's general direction or yell out back at Leo. Her heart was racing faster and faster due to the confirmation that he was not just alive, but well too - no major bruises or injuries in sight, and really, the girl never thought she'd feel this happy in this God forsaken arena.

Reaching out to take the backpack from him and put it over one of the thicker branches, using the straps to secure it and make sure their provisions wouldn't fall, the girl leaned over the best she could from her branch, and really, she had to be thankful that it was a fairly steady one, otherwise the move certainly would have made her fall. She didn't care, though, embracing Leo being a priority ridiculously high up in her list, arms tightening around him and holding him in a way she never had before. Really, not wanting to let go in a way she was just now experiencing, face burying in his neck and chest pressed against his, as if she was quite literally trying to keep him close to her heart.

"I was so worried about you. I was so worried we wouldn't find each other, and God, waiting for nightfall was horrible when you don't know who the canons are for." Swallowing dryly and trying not to sound too eager at the mention of water, Cherry just nodded a bit, one hand cupping the side of his face as her eyes raked over him, trying to take a better look at her friend. "You're not hurt anywhere, right? I'm not the best nurse in the world but I just want to make sure you're okay." Glancing down at his body one more time before looking back up at him, as if looking for any injuries or gashes she might have missed, the girl examined his face - noticing his equally dry lips before reaching towards the backpack.

Rummaging around until her fingers wrapped around the bottle, Cherry examined the contents, trying not to let desperation dawn over her at the knowledge that that wouldn't be enough to hydrate one of them, let alone both and instead put on a neutral expression, clearing her throat after offering the bottle towards him. "Have you had any water yet? Because I've already had some, and you should - you look like you haven't, so you should take it."

[cherryxbang]

Groaning as she rolled out of her bed to step into the shower, Cherry found herself frowning deeply at her own reflection. As usual, DJ had informed her he was coming over (rather than asking, and really, she was learning to deal with it by now) and that he expected to hang out, and that, in turn, meant getting some sort of shield between the two of them. The shield, of course, happened to be Leo, and while she did not mind at all getting an excuse to invite him over to spend the day, the girl wished it would be just the two of them rather than that.

Stepping out of her clothes and going towards the phone in her room wrapped in just a towel, the girl dialed his number, waiting for a few rings before being greeted by a voice that immediately made the corners of her mouth tug up. "Don't make plans today. You're coming over and spending the day with me. I mean, he's coming over, so - I don't know, just come hang out. I'm about to step into the shower and I expect you to be here when I get out, otherwise I'm going to be really disappointed." Smiling to herself after a confirmation and saying a short goodbye, Cherry then hung up and proceeded to get herself ready, pulling on a pair of shorts and a loose tank top after she was done with her shower.

Unlocking the front door on her way to the kitchen and then pulling out a box of frozen waffles from the freezer, Cherry stuck them in the toaster before pulling out the coffee maker and measuring about enough for both of them. Nails tapped absently minded against the counter, the pop of the toaster startling her for a second before it was followed by the sound of a door opening. Grinning to herself as she slid the waffles into a plate, the girl called out even though she couldn't see Leo yet. "You're here just in time. Come eat with me."

[cherryxbang]

Keeping herself focused on any sound other than her own padding through the forest that could disturb the otherwise distressingly silent forest, Cherry lifted her hand to press against her chapped lips. She wasn't far into the stages of dehydration, but the single bottle of water she'd obtained from a fallen career's backpack had been far gone and she had yet to encounter a source of water.

That wasn't the only thing on her mind, however; a general sense of uneasiness had settled on her due to the fact that she had yet to see another glimpse of Leo ever since they separated at the beginning of the games. He was there because of her, and while Cherry knew that on her own, her chances were considerably slimmer, every time a canon blasted through the air, the girl found herself wishing he'd have accepted the safety of home rather than being stupid enough to volunteer to make sure she didn't die.

Stopping in a relatively small clearance to survey the area around her, the girl let out a breath before reaching for the nearest tree with branches low enough to climb on, ignoring the way her upper body protested at the strain before pulling herself up and putting some reasonable distance between herself and the ground. Licking her lips a few times to try and make whistling a little easier, Cherry placed two fingers between them before whistling out a few notes, hoping once more that she'd get a tune back, holding completely onto the fleeting comfort of not having seen his face in the night sky yet.

[cherryxbang]

Putting away the tray with what had been their breakfast, - product of one of the few mornings where Cherry actually woke up on her own and with enough disposition to pick something up for them to eat - the girl lazily stretched her arms out, letting out a low sigh before leaning over towards Seth, nuzzling a spot right by his jaw for a second before pressing a kiss to the skin. "We should go out today. I don't know, do something together. Would you like to?"

Her fingertips started tracing patterns on his chest, a smile refusing to be wiped away from her lips, and truthfully, even if it had been a few days since they were gone, the girl was still reeling from the thrill of doing things just because; of packing up and leaving without telling anyone just because she felt like it, and felt like being with Seth, and felt like just enjoying her new found freedom without a single care in the world. She did push herself up, however, not waiting for a response before throwing her leg over his hips, effectively straddling her cousin and settling on top of him, a bit of a look of awe in her face due to the fact that he happened to look all kinds of great with his shirt off.

Before she was able to vocalize that thought, however, the sound of her phone vibrating against the wooden night stand caught her attention, and Cherry leaned over, one hand reaching for the phone before straightening herself up and using the other to lace her fingers with Seth's. "Hello?" The words were spoken right against his knuckles, her lips pressing small kisses along them before the girl's eyebrows raised a bit, the voice on the other side obviously changing her stance a bit. "Oh. Hi, DJ."

[sethandaberry]

She looked frustrated, and if he was sober— he wouldn’t blame her. He was being outright difficult to talk to at the moment. However, he wasn’t, and her frustration only seemed to add onto his own. Leaving him with gritted teeth, and his eyes still narrowed at her because he was waiting for whatever she’d say that’d clear this up. He was so heated, and in denial that he didn’t think that what she would say was exactly what he wanted to hear for months now. Several of them. His jaw instantly slackened in surprise when he realized there was no way he was hearing some twisted version of what he wanted to hear— this was real. The truth. And, even upon realizing it, he found himself denying it. Then getting mad because it took her so long to say it, before deflating on every negative emotion considering there’s no way he could stay mad or upset or whatever after being told that.

Perhaps it wasn’t like he thought it’d be in fantasies that he thought would just stay fantasies, especially after DJ came back. But, it was far from disappointing even if he couldn’t muster up a grin that he’d thought he’d give. Instead he was still swallowing, and blinking, and taking the admittance in. DJ’s mentions still caused the same burn of jealousy that always spiked up, but, it was also clear to him that she brought him because he meant less than Seth did. Which was still utterly unbelievable to him. Fierce Bang was suppose to be the relationship that everybody wanted to model their’s after because it was so dreamy and wonderful and almost fairy tale-like. They were suppose to be grossly in love with each other, married with a dog and a picket fence (no kids because Cherry didn’t want them). That was how it was suppose to be. 

Except, apparently it wasn’t. Which Seth had known, sort of. Given the cheating that had been going on— both sides, really. But, he always figured it was a phase. Another one for them to go through before they both realize that they just want each other. He thought he was a phase. And, maybe it won’t be easy for him to actually get out of that thought process, he could accept it right in this moment because he was eager to. Because, it’s what he’s wanted for so long and he isn’t going to just let go of it.

Cherry seemed to have finished, but, he was still taking in the information. Waking himself out of the shock that all of his limbs seemed to have find themselves in. He swallowed thickly a few times, blinking downward and licking his lips as the final thought crossed his mind.

She wanted him— not his sex, not his attention; him.

And, that’s absolutely all he needed to know before he pushed himself off the windowsill and made his way toward her in a purposeful stride before crashing his body and lips against hers with as much passion as he could. Hands found themselves on hips, chest against the other’s, and tongue tracing the lips he knew so well. Seth could practically feel his body humming in a way that he didn’t know it could during the kiss because it was like it was actually registering that it was okay to feel like this. Maybe not to everybody else, but, it was okay to Cherry and that’s all that matter to him right now. 

[cherryxbang]

It was an obvious sign of impatience that even those few seconds Seth took to process the information made Cherry feel anxious, nerves slightly wracked due to the argument they had and the admission she just made - one that the girl had been pushing down for several months now. It wasn't completely out of fear of him not wanting her back, since she knew for a fact that she did, but rather what it'd mean for them to cross that line, what it'd mean for her to be in a position as vulnerable as Seth's, and God, the girl was about to start spewing out more words to get a reaction until he finally seemed to take her words in. She watched in silence as he walked towards her, seemingly determined as opposed to how he was before, and the girl barely had a split second to anticipate his actions before Seth's body was pulled flush against hers, hands positioned over her own in a way that made her think of nothing but how they belonged there.

By no means did Cherry hold back either, hands curling around the fabric of his tank top, bunching it up on his back in a way that stated exactly how much she wanted him to be there, lips parting to let his tongue move past them and flickering it with her own before sucking slightly on it, a muffled sigh lost somewhere between them. There was still more that she wanted to say, but breaking away from him seemed like too hard of a task, and instead Cherry stumbled backwards until her back hit the door, one hand moving blindly over it until she could find the lock and turn it. There was no way in hell she would let this be interrupted - not when he finally stopped trying to walk away from her.

She did break the kiss after some point, however, both to catch her breath and to push Seth away just enough to give her room to take her shirt off, not thinking twice before shedding the piece of clothing and dropping it to the floor. The emotions currently coursing through her made it clear that she wanted - needed to feel his touch, needed to be with him when he knew that this wasn't just about getting off, and Cherry did hope that he'd see in her actions things that only reinforced the point she was previously making, from the way she was tightly holding onto him to the fact that it didn't take long for her lips to press against his throat, sucking harshly until a very visible mark was made. Arms then wrapped around his shoulders before her lips crashed against his for a kiss, and using both Seth's body and the wall as leverage, Cherry's legs lifted up to wrap around him, effectively making him pick her up before she mumbled something into the kiss.

"You're mine."

[sethandaberry]

Fingers flexed and then wiggled as he regained his breath, a noticable flush on his body at this point because between everything- it was beginning to get harder and harder for him to function. He’d be fanning himself if didn’t think that’d look incredibly dumb right now. Instead, his eye caught the window, and he walked towards it- opening it enough to let air in and basking slightly when it came to taking a breath of the outside. He didn’t keep his back turned to Cherry, though, and instead moved to turn his body, leaning back against the windowsill with his hands behind him and on top of it as well as he just waited for an explanation. One that he should have asked a long time ago, but, was too scared to. Hell, he still was scared, but, drunkenness plus exhaustion always equaled something like this he supposed. 

"That’s—" he swallowed thickly, eyes narrowing and eyebrows furrowing as he thought over her words. Thought over everything she had been saying since she approached him. A conclusion could be drawn from it, but, he didn’t trust it. Why would he? It’s all he’s ever fucking wanted since he fell for her, and it’s a known fact that Seth doesn’t get what he wants. Ever. Not Cherry, not Marie, not even freaking Maddie. Maybe this was self deprecating, and pathetic, and too sensitive, but, it just piled up after awhile. It got tiring. It made Seth feel unwanted, and used, and maybe that made him the classic "nice guy". To get mad at Marie because she chose the tool over him, or to be a little pissy because Toby seemed to be pulling a fast one on him with Maddie, but, it made him feel small. But, nobody could ever make him feel smaller than Cherry could. 

Which meant her doing this. Her almost blatantly admitting there could be something there— it was wrong. It wasn’t the truth. Seth was just hearing things, looking into things that weren’t there. Hearing a version he wanted to hear rather than what was actually being said. Because, that’s what guys do. And, he’s a guy. So, that’s what makes sense right now. Since there was no way in hell Cherry felt the same.

Not when he was in fucking love with her.

It’s why he couldn’t help but choke out a simple— “w-what?” He couldn’t find anything else to say when he didn’t even think he felt like he heard the correct version. That his brain somehow picked and chose sentences. Something. 

"What— what are you saying?"

[cherryxbang]

She would probably get a headache if they kept talking themselves in circles like that, and Cherry stared at him in disbelief when he asked her to explain herself again. She wasn't sure how many ways there were to put in words that she fucking wanted him back, and that her boyfriend was nothing but a safety net to keep herself from being alone if Seth decided to walk away. Rubbing her forehead and turning around for a second, hands on her hips and eyes closed, the girl focused on the cool air filling the room now, deciding she needed a breather too before flexing her fingers again, hands slightly raised and gesturing with her words as if that could help the meaning come across.

"What I'm saying, Seth, it's that it wasn't just about sex for me. Not anymore. But I can't - we can't do this, because this can't be worked out, and what I'm saying is that you drive me crazy in about ten different ways and not all of them are good but some of them are fucking amazing and I don't know what to do anymore. What I'm saying it's that it's not just about having attention, but it's about having you wanting me. It's about knowing that you'll grab me tighter if you see him with me, knowing that I'll have a reassurance that it still matters to you whether or not I'm with him. It's about me thinking of you when I'm with him because I can't get you out of my fucking mind either."

Refraining from the urge to add if that made things clear or not, the girl let out a deep breath, feeling for once like she was the one on the verge of possibly facing rejection. Rolling her shoulders as if it would help her ease off the tension, Cherry placed her hands on her hips before shrugging lightly. "But we can't - we can't really do anything about it, can we? So it doesn't matter. But I can't pretend I like seeing you around with other girls, and I can't pretend that you're just another fuck buddy to me, Seth."

[sethandaberry]

It’s not like he ever really thought he was going to get away with walking away, but, the gesture made him feel in control. In no way was Seth trying to emotionally manipulate Cherry, he wasn’t doing this to purposely elicit the reaction he was getting— the boy honestly meant everything he was saying. And, a part of him does think that he if was let to walk away, he would. It’s always the fact that Cherry is there, even after he attempted to push her away, even after she pushed him away; wanting him. Nobody has to wave in his face that he fucked Cherry continuously throughout break while she was dating the guy he was suppose to be friends with and that was wrong. Though, on the same vein, he fucking hates DJ’s guts now and can’t really help it. 

The way he just seemed to swoop in, make himself comfortable anywhere he wanted— it fucked with Seth. Made him jealous to the point where their relationship severed because of it. He’s cold with him, though, he does try to be pleasant with him to the best of his ability. If anything, he takes most of his aggression out on Landon when it comes down to it. Easy target, and the other bane of his existence, really. 

Blinking rapidly, he actually listened to what Cherry was saying to him and swallowed. She was at it again. Drawing him right back in with her words, and actually seemingly fighting for him was basically his kryponite. But, the alcohol in his system acted as a truth serum. Made him emotional. Made him angry. Made him want to step forward and push her against the wall to kiss her.

"You know what I want from you." You. “And, I know you can’t give that to me. So, it’s like we’re— we’re running in a fucking circle.” His head shook, bringing a cup to his lips again and taking another gulp— allowing the girl to continue talking in his silence. “Well, if he can give you what you want, and I can’t- then be with him. Stop dragging me into it. You can’t fucking have both, Cherry. Especially if you won’t even let me have any fucking fun, either. What the fuck is that?”

His speech is slurred and his head his shaking and the rest of his body is trembling, too. Causing him to have to pull away from Cherry once more and keep walking. Further away. Not exactly from his cousin in particular, but, from everybody. Everything. Because, people might know, but, talking about it like that was already making him anxious. And, talking in public to Cherry even more so. It felt like eyes were on him, and his skin heated more and more as the argument went on from both frustration and that. Finding the nearest door, he pushed it open with his shoulder and breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw no one else in the bedroom.

The cups found their ways to meeting the dresser, the moving about sloshing the drinks to the point where the beer had splashed on his hands and forearms. It caused him to shrug off the unbuttoned shirt he was wearing to leave himself in the grey tank top to wipe off the beer as he allowed himself to breathe. However, it wasn’t long before he felt another presence in the room with him, and a glance to the mirror showed him who it was. Not that he was surprised.

"Why do you even care so much?"

[cherryxbang]

Her jaw locked at his answer, because Cherry did know - it was a stupid question, of course, and she was aware that she had Seth on a hold that he seemed to try to leave more often than not, but she didn't want to let go, didn't even consider the idea when she wanted him nowhere else but there, wanting her, needing her. It was fucked up in its own sort of way, but a lot of things about Cherry were and she had a really hard time denying herself what she wanted.

If what she wanted was Seth, then so be it.

"It's not that easy, Seth. God, it's not - you don't even understand what I'm trying to say." With good reason, since Cherry was making less and less sense each passing minute, given that forming her thoughts into coherent sentences grew as even more of a task the further tangled up in the subject they got, and she knew it wouldn't be easy to make her way out of that one without saying things she didn't want to bring up just yet. But he was leaving again, and part of her thought that walking away would mean more than just physically removing himself from the party, and Cherry just couldn't stand the thought again. It was never easy in the first place, but the amount of time they spent together caused her to be almost dependent on it now, refusing to be cut off one more time.

It took her a little bit to catch up with him since people kept getting in her way, but the girl was determined, not even bothering to knock on the door as she followed him into the room and pushed the door open, hurt flashing across her expression at the realization of how exasperated he was before shutting the door, nervously rattling the doorknob at his question and then letting go of it, finers flexing as she tried to put her thoughts in order.

"Because I'm not letting you walk away. I can't let you walk away. I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, Seth, there's a reason why I'm here right now. There's a reason I fucking pry you away from anyone else, and it's because I don't want them to have you. Not in the way that I do. I don't want them to be with you the way I am with you, and I thought you knew that. It's been driving me crazy every time I have to watch you put your hands on someone else's body, and God, don't you understand? I need you to need me. I need to... I need to know that you seeing me with someone else makes you feel the same, Seth, because I can't be alone in this."

Her rant came out jumbled in places and she was getting more worked up by the time she finished it, one rand running nervously through her hair before shedding her own jacket, thinking the slightly cooler air in the room would also clear her mind. Dropping her jacket in a chair and keeping herself from assuming an expression of defeat, Cherry's arms crossed in front of her chest, a slight bit of vulnerability written across her features. "I know that you want me, but sometimes I just need to know how fucking much."

[sethandaberry]

His initial thought when it came to the touch on his arm was it being Jessica rather than who it really was. He even smiled a bit as he poured and kept his eyes downward to make sure he didn’t spill it. The voice hitting his ears made him jerk in surprise, spilling some of the beer on his hand and causing him to shake it off before bringing the hand to his mouth to suck it off as well. When he looked toward her, there was a glare written on his expression, arm jerking away from her by the time she was done talking. “Fuck you,” he hissed out, leaning his body away from her and taking two steps over to put distance between them. This might’ve been some ploy to make Cherry jealous, but, that didn’t mean he wasn’t mad. Pissed off, really. The girl opening her mouth to say what she did not really placating him at all. 

One solo cup down, he grabbed another to start pouring the drink into with a sour expression. “Yeah, well, I’m not interested in fucking DJ by association, but, you don’t see me complaining,” he waited a beat, “ever.” His head shook, letting out a small huff as his thoughts ran to how shitty all of this was. How he was actually sick of it, and maybe stopping this thing (again) and for good (hopefully) was his best bet of actually being happy. Because, he wasn’t. There was moments of bliss with Cherry. Where everything was, well, amazing. But, mostly, it was quite the opposite and it was beginning to grain on him. Especially because there was no reason to it. None. It was just sex. He was fucking himself up for sex. And, well, that was pathetic. 

"You don’t have to, though. You can just stay with DJ, I can move on, and this can be over, okay? Because, I’m fucking sick of this, Cherry. I’m sick of feeling like shit because you’re all over DJ, or he’s all over you all the time. I’m sick of you treating me like shit. So, go back to your boyfriend, and leave me alone. Please.”

He swallowed after he was done with his speech, keeping his gaze averted from her as he stared down at the drinks. A shaky hand moved to grab the cup that he claimed as his own, bringing it to his lips. “I got to go find Jessica,” he murmured after the sip, grabbing the other cup and moving himself to begin to walk away.

[cherryxbang]

It was weird that something as subtle as an expression change could contribute to her sour mood, but the truth was that the sheer disappointment that seemed to take over his features when realizing it was her actually hurt Cherry, since part of her was convinced that this was just a way of getting her attention. Each step back was met with one forward from her, and while she wouldn't physically block his way out, the girl wasn't feeling much like letting him walk away from this conversation, a deep frown settling on her forehead at his hiss. "You didn't seem to fucking mind it so much," she retorted, eyes focused on the drink he was pouring, somewhat tempted to just dump it over his head out of sheer frustration already building up within her.

Scoffing at his words, the girl shook her head before shooting him a glare; she was well aware of how he felt, of course, but he still let her into his bed day after day, even knowing that she was committed. Her reasons for doing all of it didn't matter as much as his reasons, the way she saw it. "You knew what you were getting into, Seth. You know that I was -- that I'm with him." Was probably was the more correct form, once that, all things considered, her being with DJ wasn't much more than a status quo thing, and she thought it was clear by the way her time was spent chasing after Seth and directing her actions towards him much more than towards her boyfriend. Really, she was standing there having this argument with him for a reason.

She couldn't help the sheer moment of panic, however, when he once again mentioned walking away, and while Seth always seemed to come back, Cherry was always scared that the next time it happened, it'd be the last one too. Frozen in place for a couple of seconds, it took Seth turning his back to her to get the girl to react, recovering from her dropped expression and instead gathering a look of determination, leaning over and wrapping her fingers around his forearm to keep him from leaving. "Don't you fucking walk away from me, Seth. Jessica can wait. But, I don't know -- what do you want from me? What do you want to hear? Because I told you how this was going to be. I told you that... fuck, Seth, what do you want me to do? Leave DJ and just wait around for you when we can't even be out in public without you getting anxious? Sneak around for God knows how long? I can't do that. I need something more than this to hold on to."

Theoretically, DJ had that something more, but, in practice, she'd leap for a shred of a chance of hanging onto Seth before taking a step forward for a set future with him.

[sethandaberry]

She’s been trying to get a rise out of him lately, and- as much as he hates to admit it- it’s been working. 

Seeing her flaunt DJ around like that always made Seth’s eyes avert away. For him to swallow, blink, and excuse himself whenever he thought it didn’t look suspicious to the people around him. Though, it had to. These people knew— at least, most of them. Avery, Stevie— they try to get him to talk about it, open up about it. But, he refuses to. The only person who really knew he had feelings was Nathan, and the guy wasn’t around. He’s still not sure how his friend didn’t judge him for it, and he’s grateful— though, he’s not about to take the chance again. He’d rather just sit there with his jaw clenched, and bubbling up feelings.

An opportunity was presented to him, however, and he took it. Without thinking twice. When he had went out for drinks with a few of the guys, he wound up flirting with a girl to the point of getting her number. A few days later, a party was thrown that Cherry was going to be at. No hesitation was given when he called the girl up with the mind of inviting her to the party to flaunt her in front of his cousin. Even if, when he thinks about it later, it was sort of a dick move to Jessica. 

She was an affectionate person, so, it was easy for Seth to be able to do this to it’s full ability. With his arm around her as much as possible, and dancing with her in such close proximity that he’d be lying if he said that it didn’t turn him on a bit. At some point, he even kissed her.

Currently, he was getting the two of them drinks— already having more than a few of them himself at this point. He had stopped keeping track of Cherry for a little bit, but, he knew she had been around the entire time. Catching her eye quite a few times. It made him feel pretty accomplished, he must say.

[cherryxbang]

Doing things that were overall really bad wasn't really a new thing for Cherry, and that was how she could pretty much be okay with going back to letting DJ be extremely affectionate with her (especially in public) even though she spent most of the break sleeping with her cousin at every single opportunity she got.

And no, she could not deny to herself that somewhere along the line, her now boyfriend was more someone to flaunt around, someone to have by her side just so she could see Seth's jaw tighten at the sight, just so she could reassure herself a bit more about how much he wanted her. It wasn't that she didn't care for her cousin, but there was some kind of twisted satisfaction from knowing that it worked, that he actually cared about who's lips were pressed against hers, about who's hand she was holding, and Cherry had yet to find something as exhilarating as knowing she'd gotten him riled up, that she'd made him possessive just by reminding him of what he both had and hadn't.

But to see him dishing it back was not nearly as fun for her, her grip on DJ's arm growing tight whenever whatshername seemed too friendly around Seth and her fingers almost crushing the plastic cup she was holding when they seemed to outright dry hump on the dancefloor. Maybe on a sober mind she'd have looked at this more calmly and realize what he was doing, but the small part of her that feared that maybe, just /maybe/ Seth actually wanted to take his mind away from Cherry was far too loud for her to ignore, and this wasn't okay. She might not have been Seth's, but if there was something she'd been working on making clear for months now was that Seth was most definitely hers.

Picking up a cup that had been left behind by someone and still had about half of the drink in it as soon as she spotted Seth and the girl parting ways, Cherry waited until he was at a safe distance before forcefully walking into her, spilling the drink almost completely on the other girl - being careful not to make too much of a scene as she apologized so Seth wouldn't turn to look at them. After the girl left to try and somewhat fix her clothes, Cherry discarded the cup without much care, having given DJ a bullshit excuse and left him on the other side of the dancefloor.

Positioning herself on the bar right next to Seth, one hand resting on his arm, the girl flashed him an overly sweet, obviously faked smile, turning around enough that she was facing him. "So, are you doing charity now by taking bimbos on dates and making them feel better about themselves or do you actually stoop that low when I'm not with you? Because I have to say, I'm not interested in fucking her by association."

[sethandaberry]

                Brown eyes fell to look down at the glass that was in front of him, a hesitant hand extending to wrap his fingers around it and tilt it slightly towards him to gaze at the contents. Seth found no reason to question what it was, figuring his cousin knew what he tolerated (he didn’t exactly enjoy booze, but, he still drank it) and wouldn’t give him something he couldn’t down. Still, when he brought it to his lips and let it slide down his throat, the burning sensation made him wince and cough while the glass found it’s way back to the counter with a thud. 

                                                 ”How sweet of you.”

                His hand came up as he coughed once more, then a fist banged gently against his chest as the burning slid down further. He honestly couldn’t fathom how Cherry did this as often as she did. As his arm found itself leaning back against the bar, her hand seemed to cover it which instantly made him tense, fingers curling up to form a fist as he pathetically finds himself letting out a hitched breath. Fucking Cherry and the hold she has on him. There’s a small pause before he actually looked over at her, the hardness etched on his face softening as soon as he did. Before his eyes rolled— playfully.

                     ”What gave you that crazy idea?”

[cherryxbang]

            She studied him carefully as he downed the drink, not being able to help the amused smile that settled at his reaction. Really, the amount of alcohol Cherry could down throughout one night was somewhat admirable for someone her size, but the drink she’d picked wasn’t even that strong for her taste. Maybe it was a good thing; one of them should probably stay sober enough to haul their asses back home, but the girl wanted her cousin to wind down somewhat.

            Maybe it was just that she felt things were tense, but sometimes, Cherry did wonder whether Seth actually wanted to be around or if it was beginning to be more of an obligation than anything, and the look on his face worried her for a second until he actually turned to face her.

                        "C’mon, I’m always sweet to you."

            It wasn’t hard to get the smile back on her face, however, grinning as the air seemed to clear a bit, her own shoulders relaxing as her fingers slid down his arm before dropping back to the counter. Touching was the basis of flirting, after all, and Cherry was pretty sure that every interaction she had with Seth carried flirtatious undertones, at least nowadays. Maybe she shouldn’t be indulging into it, given the circumstances, but refusing the thrill that it gave her was an exercise of willpower that she could not go through.

                            "What have you been up to since we came back?"

[sethandaberry]

                Honestly, he should just get her home. Shouldn’t have given into the pressure that she put on him that always easily made him bend to her whim. He might be a pushover with everyone on the face of the planet (besides a few select people), but, it was just more with Cherry. Everything seemed to be more with Cherry.

                Finding an easy parking spot not too far from the entrance, he exited his car and locked it before making his way through the doors. Within a few seconds he was able to spot Cherry at the bar, and he made his way to sit next to her. Face serious, and eyes lingering forward- he let out a small sigh and shook his head.

                                               ”I still feel like I should just take you home.”

[cherryxbang]

            The smile grew wider as her cousin made a straight line to her, and Cherry pulled the bar stool away from the counter, indicating that she expected Seth to join her. Sometimes she thought she shouldn't flatter herself with thinking that she had him wrapped around her finger, but, truthfully, the girl seriously acted as such, settling back into the state of mind of seeing how much further she could go.

                       "I already bought you a drink, though."

           A hand settled on his arm, body turning on the stool to face him with a softened expression, corners of her mouth still curled up. It felt... rewarding when she asked him to stay and he did, and Cherry wasn't in the mood to let go of him so soon yet.

                                           "Besides, it's not like you don't enjoy hanging out with me."

[cherryxbang]

            Maybe this was about to be the third night Cherry hadn't gone back home yet, and maybe Seth would try harder to get her to leave if he were to know that; but, she didn't really have to tell him everything.

            Rather, the girl ordered a drink for him as she waited, a little satisfied smile on her face due to the fact that she was convinced she could talk him into pretty much anything.