Seven Secrets

nothing ever truly rests in peace here. A mutual killing game with influences from Japanese urban legends and spiritual realms. Uncover the truth behind the abandoned dorm before the other side claims you for their own. Mobile links Status: Complete!

[seven--secrets]

The Most Precious Gift | Miyu (ft. Hime) | Epilogue

There was so much more Miyu had to say. So much more she wanted to say. But she couldn’t manage the words. She was just an absolute wreck, crumpled up in a ball, desperately forcing herself to stay close to the mirror. To hear, and see everything else being said. Her last moments.

Miyu wanted to thank Shigure. She wanted to apologize. For not being able to live her life, for never truly getting to know her as much as she wanted to. But she couldn’t manage any of them.

She could at least see her off with a smile as well, right? She could manage that much, right?

As everything starts to fade out, her eyes dart around, looking for Hime-

Seconds march into the past… The moments pass… And just like that, they're gone.

---

Miyu opened her eyes, blinking quickly. Where was she, exactly? Everything felt blurry, in the midst of that haze of not knowing that gripped one when waking up from a vivid nightmare. But this? This felt particularly heavier than normal. In her experience, focusing on the things you know around you was a good way to ground yourself. This was. A classroom. A… shrine? Huh. A shrine. Familiar faces from behind, and- Oh, Koune was here, her tentmate on this fun little trip they were on!

Wait, no, that wasn’t. That wasn’t her real name. Her thoughts were swamped with memories from this nightmare. The red slowly fading from her hair over time, and the light slowly fading from her eyes. 

It all felt muddled, but still so real. Dreams (and nightmares) usually faded quickly after waking up, but this… the more she thought about it, the more she could recall those days from her nightmare with near-perfect clarity. But there was still a gap between them and this life, this world. One that she was struggling to process. And judging by the confused glances, she wasn’t the only one. 

Takako-sensei was here… Something awful had attacked her, in her nightmare. And then she came back? And she has a sister who is also dead? Okay, she was a bit fuzzy on what all happened there, let’s not think too hard about that. There was also another face that felt familiar, yet not so. 

Kaz… Kazunari? He was here all along. He was more than just a janitor. That was a connection she couldn’t deny… He pulled her out of Hell, and gave her a chance to get to know everyone in this dream of hers. She would’ve been so lost otherwise. How much did he remember of that, she wondered? 

That distance between her memories and this reality was still holding strong.

She followed along quietly as Kaz led them out of the room, struggling with the fog in the back of her mind. And as they came through to the pool area, her eyes were met with…

A mermaid?

"We'll get out of here, I'm sure of it! A-And... when we do, I'd love to come and see you perform, yeah?"

A bitter girl?

"I guess she cared enough to give you a better life, since she couldn't be bothered to give you that herself."

No, a friend.

“Thank you for being so kind to me, and…thank you for being my friend too.”

In the end, there was no denying that Shigure was at the core of this dream of hers. The reason why she woke up at all, why she was even here. She had so many thoughts bouncing around in her head, seeing Shigure back here, as a mermaid spirit. Remembering the girl named Shigure who was killed years ago, and sparked legislation reforming the idol industry. Remembering the girl she’d gotten to know a bit after her own death in this dream of hers.

The distance between her memories and this reality was faltering, but still holding out.

Rei, and GB, other faces she recognized from her dream. Others who were distinctly supernatural. And with the girl she remembered as Shigure being a mermaid spirit now, it was… a lot. Her head hurt.

---

Some time later, she found a quiet space in one of the old classrooms just to sit and think. It was a lot. So many emotions to process, so many memories… So much to just work through to be honest. She had died. Her spirit had been rescued and bound to the closet down below. She’d spent a fair bit of time living as a spirit, and getting to know so many others. If someone had been telling her this story without context she never would’ve believed it. But there was just enough around her now; she couldn’t deny it. So why was she struggling to accept it? That was her biggest struggle right now.

She slipped a hand into her pocket, and pulled out her locket. All she’d wanted, judging from her memories, was to make sure this locket made it back to her mother. To thank her for the most precious gift she’d ever been given, the gift of safety, of a loving, supportive family. But now? What was she supposed to do now? It felt like there was something she was supposed to say, to do, but she couldn’t put a finger on it.

The door to the classroom opened behind her, and she nearly fell out of her seat with a start. What? What?? What on earth-? When she spun around to look at the intruder, her eyes widened, and she froze. 

Himeyuri. The one she’d met as Erza, a standoffish and cold writer. But that wasn’t her. Himeyuri had such a profound warmth within, that had warmed Miyu’s own heart in such a cold time. Feelings she could never forget, dream or not.

The gap between her memories and this reality came crashing down, and Miyu laughed. It all made sense now.

“It’s… It’s… Oh my god, it’s perfect. It’s the exact opposite, isn’t it, Hime-chan? Of how we met! You remember, right?” She stood up to greet her, pendant in hand. And yet, she couldn’t help but shuffle her feet. She didn’t want to… jump the gun. Just in case Hime didn’t remember.

But of course she remembered. Her instant surprise melts into a soft expression, a small smile resting on her face. Ah, how it was warm. “It’s just like then, except I’m not chasing you out of here.” A small, light laugh. “Of course I remember.”

“But I… It took me way too long, to realize. To process all this. I’m. I’m sorry, I am.” She nodded quickly. “I thought that I’d never get a gift more precious to me than my family, but now, I… I think I have. I think I really have.”

Though as Miyu continues to speak, Hime grows rather silent. “An apology? You… you don’t have to apologize for anything, Miyu-” She begins, before stopping herself once more, raising an eyebrow at the implications.

Miyu stepped forward.

“Hime, I… I want to thank Shigure-chan, for everything. A-And then, I want to thank Rei-san, and Kaz, and GB… A-And then-” She instinctively took Hime’s hands in hers. “I-I want to get to know you, too, properly- A-And I want you to get to know me too, y-yeah? I-I know I’m not great at this, b-but I want to try- We have so much time now, and I… I don’t want to waste any of it!”

As Miyu takes Hime’s hand, she jolts a little bit, a soft rose color taking over her cheeks. All these thank yous, all this noise, she just stares at Miyu for a moment. Warm, bright, how the sun welcomes spring. “....I’m very lucky w-we got this second chance.” She hums. “We promised to get to know each other, all the way back then, and n-now…”

Was she warm? Miyu’s cheeks had flushed pink as well. After all, they could now do this, both alive and ready to live. The implication was sinking in, but she was determined. They had promised each other, and now… Now…

Another small laugh, beaming. “We now have the time. I… I would love to get to know you more. W-what you like, and your friends, and your family, a-and-” Deep breath. “Just… everything, really.” Her first friend here, now holding her hand. Hime was lucky, lucky that their first meeting didn’t chase her away. To get this second chance… her eyes remained alight.

Miyu’s grin widened. The clouds had cleared, and the sun was shining once more. And with that warmth around them, Miyu led the way, keen on making up for the time she felt she’d lost once their memories had returned. Never once letting go of Hime’s hand the whole time.

I don’t want to waste a single moment of this precious gift that Shigure Momoshiro gave me…

[seven--secrets]

Daffodil || Epilogue 3

“The moment I regained consciousness here, I set out to find Momoshiro-san, which was a lot easier than I expected it to be. Turns out G.B. brought her soul to his village immediately after, and one thing led to another...” Kaz’s voice trails off as he notices another presence behind you. “Ah, there you are. I was wondering if you’d be coming along.”

“You started without me?” A bark could be heard under the voice. Seeing G.B. in reality was a little strange. He never belonged in this world to begin with. How the hell did Elle think he was a normal dog for all of those years? How did the people around her?

“I considered asking her to stay in the village, but the pond would never have been enough for her. Lucky for me, I knew a pod of mermaids that were happy to take on new members. They’re a helpful lot. I didn’t even have to bribe them this time.” The okuri inu pads over to the group, heading to the edge of the water and lowering his head with the understanding he was going to be getting pets.

For everyone else, it would have only been a short amount of time since they’d all last seen each other, but for Shigure, it had been two long years. Two years of learning how to be a ningyo. Two years away from her friends and reflecting.

And during that time, she had awaited this moment to reunite with all of them once again, uncertain of how they would think or feel, but she had known one thing with certainty.

And that was how incredibly embarrassing this all was. All the bittersweet goodbyes and sobs, all to just meet again less than a few hours later for them. It seemed so overly dramatic now.

Shigure looks slightly awkward as she stares at everyone, but there’s a real smile on her face. She places her arms on the side of the pool and gazes at the group.

What will they think of her like this? What will Yumeko think? She’d pondered that question many times in the last two years.

“Hey, everyone...” Shigure laughs a bit sheepishly. “Long time no see...” Well, for her anyway. “I, ah, never expected something like this either, but Geebee really helped me out. He introduced me to the other mermaids. Ren, Kallie, Yuri, Lily, and Mimmy have taken great care of me... So these last few years haven’t been lonely.”

“Good. I trusted them with you, so they better have been nice.” GB nudges Shigure’s arm for pets and attention. “You smell like the ocean now...”

“Ahah! I’d be a little worried if I didn’t, considering I’ve been swimming around in it the last two years.” She nervously twirls a piece of hair around her fingers and her eyes flit over to Yumeko and then away. “I was even able to cut my hair like I wanted…I didn’t have to ask for permission or anything.” It still feels so surreal that she’s even able to do that now. “Do you like it...?”

It’s clear what she really means to say is ‘Do you like me?’

The moment is interrupted when another set of footsteps breaks the quiet hold over the group. Turning, the familiar sight of Rei could be caught in the doorframe: their appearance shockingly similar to the one you all had grown accustomed to. Their skin seemed softer and more flushed in this state, and it was difficult to imagine them as that rotting doll that surely resided back in the school archives by now.

“I see that I’m just on time, a-as usual.” They smile fondly to Shigure then the rest of the group as they take their place beside G.B. and Kaz. Even if their appearance hardly changed, their demeanor certainly did. “I-It is... good to see you all together again. Truthfully, I did not know what to expect to feel after the Rite. The threads have shifted... I’ve never seen that before.”

Rei lets out the unfamiliar sound of an airy chuckle. Some of you may have been certain before this that they lacked the ability to laugh as they lean their head up to the now taller Kaz.

“You were right... Just this once. I-I’ll give you that.”

Kneeling down, Rei offers their other friend head scratches. A placid little smile crosses their face while they turn their attention to the group.

“Wherever you all will travel now, d-do know that the three of us will be within reach. I believe all of us will be lingering around for some time. Your nightmare may have ended, but your school year has just begun.”

Kaz nods, finally relaxing for the first time in a long time. “It’s all up to you now. But I think you’ll be okay.”

And the future looked that much brighter now, didn’t it? You had your lives to look ahead to and the reassurance that the worst was behind you. Maybe your paths would diverge, maybe they would continue crossing, but you had a path to forge ahead with. It was time to make it count.

“Oh, though speaking of, Kaz-” One last time, Rei’s single eye trails up to the heron spirit.

“Just thought it prudent to warn you. The furbies are headed this way.”

SEVEN SECRETS UNVEILED - GOOD END ACHIEVED

15/15 STUDENTS + 1 NINGYO

[seven--secrets]

Water Lily || Epilogue 2

“That being said,” Kaz glances around, counting heads. “Fourteen. Wyss-san should still be in their tent, last I checked up on them. Sleeping just a bit longer. Would you all follow me?”

You’re maybe a little cautious, but then an inkling of thought comes to mind. What would Kaz want with all of you that he wouldn’t need Willow for? And how could he sound so... content? The answer is obvious, and some of you almost rush to the door in response. 

He leads you out of the classroom, and to the west. Past the canteen area, into the opened-up west wing of the first floor, something you hadn’t been allowed to enter last night, and all those nights before. You knew the rooms here like the back of your hand, but it’s certainly a little odd seeing them all run-down and rotting, a far cry from the clean floors in the spirit realm’s version.

Into the changing rooms, and you feel the slight tug in the back of your mind that is almost familiar. There’s spirit activity here, and soon enough, you arrive at the swimming pool. The rest of the room is still grimy and dusty, but the pool has been filled with clean, almost sparkling water.

It makes seeing the figures in the depths almost effortless, and while you immediately recognize Inko-chan the baby akkorokamui almost immediately, the other figure in the water...

“I’ll, ah, save Koyanagi-san the explanation. Momoshiro-san is now, as you can perhaps guess, a ningyo, or a mermaid spirit.”

[seven--secrets]

Morning Glory || Epilogue 1

The faint sunlight filters through the windows of the classroom. Weird, you were pretty sure you went to sleep in your tent last night. No, you were in a shrine. You wake up, and look around. There was a look of confusion from everyone in the room. And you were two short. Willow was probably in their tent and... Shigure. She was... She was...

You remember her disappearing into light.

Everything floods back in suddenly. Two sets of memories hit you with all the grace of an over-excited puppy. In one, you remember how life had gone, up to the point the night ended.

But now you have memories of the changes made to Japan in the last two years. Ever since Shigure Momoshiro was left unguarded, attacked, and murdered by a stalker, there had been a change in the laws regarding the idol industry. You remember as well, even if you weren’t here, that your sensei had mentioned that the fallout had been one of the biggest cases of her career. The dregs of the idol industry hadn’t been toppled, not by a long shot, but it had been forced into accountability for everything the brass had been guilty of.

Two sets of memories, each as true as the last. It’s a headache to remember that some of this happened and some of it would only be remembered by those of you here. It’s painful.

Takako stirs at the front of the class, mumbling about being too old to sleep at her desk. She pushes herself up, as if looking for someone, but then the sadness rolls over. She turns from the class, unable to meet your gazes and finds herself staring at the blank chalkboard. The letters once burned in, marring its surface, had been wiped away as if they were never there.

“...What a fucking joke.”

A knocking at the door startles you, but a familiar voice carries through. “I certainly hope not, Takako-sensei. You’re usually meant to laugh at jokes.”

The person who enters doesn’t look like the Kaz you remember, but the soft blonde hair and smile make it immediately obvious who’s addressing you. “Though I suppose... There’s just enough to smile about, now that it’s over. Welcome back.” He tilts his head, before nodding. “You’re wondering about the new look, I suppose? Well, the Kaz before tonight knows that he must have used the Rite at some point since it disappeared two years ago, and decided to have a makeover because of it. I will be keeping Kazunari in my heart, but I’ve made my peace too.”

He shakes his head. “In any case, how do you all feel?”

“Like shit, Kazzy. Just because I got seven of my students back doesn’t mean the one gone doesn’t hurt.” Takako placed a hand on her chest. “Fucking hell. You remember still, right?”

Kaz nods. “I do. As do the others. Your sister is downstairs with G.B., incidentally, though her presence back in the human realm is limited, at best.”

“Thank goodness. Fuck, that’s shitty of my to be worried about it, but I really didn’t want to hunt her spirit down to make her remember I care about her.”

The human realm... As much as some of you had missed your time spent in the spirit realm, there really was no place like home. 

It was just unfortunate that not all of you had made it.

[seven--secrets]

Return to Seafoam || Endgame Pt. 2

It was difficult to be brave in the face of reliving your worst fear. But she couldn’t run away from this now. Shigure’s head felt fluffy, like it was spinning in circles. She didn’t know if that was out of fear, or due to the Rite, but either way, it kept her feet planted firmly on the ground.

The scene went the same as she remembered, down to the last detail. She was given a brief break. As soon as she grabbed her water bottle, she heard the patter of rain on the roof settle to a halt. With the promise of fresh air, she’d gone out through the back door, followed closely by a security guard.

Satsuki insisted. She must be followed at all times, lest she run away again. Like she even could. Her practice building was surrounded by chain link fences on all sides. She hated feeling so stifled, but she knew better than to complain.

She’d been staring up at the sky, watching the clouds pass idly by. The sun was finally coming back out and the rain had ended. A good omen.

And then there was a crash inside the practice building, and yelling. Some sort of commotion. The security guard looked at her, then to the door, and frowned. He seemed to consider, for just a moment, before speeding back inside the building. He foot pushed the rock keeping the door open, and it closed behind him with a decisive click, signifying the automatic lock slipping into place.

At the time, she hadn’t thought much of it, just content she had more peaceful time away from people and able to gaze up at the sky. She didn’t know how much time passed like that, just watching the clouds pass idly by, but what snapped her out of it was the sound of approaching footsteps.

Ah. Oh dear, she was late getting back to practice, wasn’t she? Well, how was she supposed to know that? Her security guard had dipped and the door was locked. Shigure peeked up, expecting to see the angry expression of her manager, but instead, there was a man. Shigure didn’t know him, but she could swear there was something familiar about it. A passing face in a crowd, maybe, something she’d seen in the corners of her vision. Nobody she knew, but recognizable.

So it was happening already. Shigure’s heart pounded in her chest. Fear. She wanted to run, run far away from this man, but it wasn’t time yet.

She wasn’t supposed to run yet.

There was nothing noteworthy about the man. He could’ve been anyone. Nothing special, but nothing that should raise alarm bells. Swathed in dark clothing, a black hoodie, and that god awful black cap that shadowed his eyes. He was just a normal man, but to Shigure, he looked like a monster.

“...Can Ran help you?” Shigure asked. Just like she’d done the first time. Tentative, yet cheerful. She felt like she was choking on her own breath, but it sounded so painfully natural.

The man didn’t reply. He crept closer, closer, so sinisterly closer, and she was so afraid. Why? Why did she have to relive this? Couldn’t they just cut to the part where she was already stabbed?

But no, that was too easy, wasn’t it? The onryo was just as much born from this moment as they were from her death.

Shigure took a step back as the man closed in. She glanced behind her. There was no escape route. She already knew. She’d relived that day countless times in her head. She knew there was nowhere to run. He’d already cornered her.

And then he was gripping her shoulders and she involuntarily gasped and he was shaking her and she couldn’t breathe. Oh my god, she couldn’t breathe. Help her. Please, someone help her. Not like this. She didn’t want it to happen like this.

(cw: slurs) The man’s words came out, harsh and manic, almost devolving into gibberish, “You used to be so pure, but they’ve ruined you. You’re just a little slut now, flaunting your body for all those other men. Didn’t you know you’re supposed to be mine?! You’re dirty now! You’re unclean!”

She didn’t know him. She didn’t belong to him. His touch was repulsive. She felt disgusting. Stop it. Stop. Stop. Get away from her!

“Don’t touch me!”

It was instinctive to push him off. Maybe things would’ve been different if she’d stood prone, but she pushed him away. She was always meant to.

The man’s face morphed into rage, a manic and unpleasant expression.

“No!” he yelled. “It’s Ran. Ran.”

“No! Get away!” she yelled.

The man pulled a black switchblade from his hoodie pocket and pointed it towards her. She felt her heart sink to her stomach with dread. No, no, please god no. She’d rather stab herself.

She had to remind herself that it was fine, that she chose this. She was going to die by her own choice and on her own terms. Even if this man was the hand behind the knife, it was a sacrifice she’d chosen to make.

“I knew it! You’re so filthy now! You’re not pure like my Ran!” the man yelled. He waved the knife and continued to spew manic and crazy statements. Possessive, disgusting, creepy. Barely even human.

Shigure reached for the door handle and wiggled on it frantically. Locked. She already knew it would be.

That captured the man’s attention and he looked impossibly more angry.

“Are you trying to run away from me?” the man asked.

“N-No, please! Get away!”

Even as she frantically banged on the door, nobody would come. She already knew, but she still couldn’t stop herself from doing it. Hoping above all hopes that that gods would just take pity on her and strike her down with lightning. Anything so she didn’t have to die like this.

The man gripped her by the shoulder, forcibly yanking her away from the door. Shigure squeezed her eyes shut and braced for impact.

Just like a punch. It felt just like a punch, at first, and then he twisted the knife inside of her. Shigure let out a loud cry of pain.

Under the man’s breath, he muttered, “Now nobody else can dirty you…you’ll always be mine...” And then he ripped the knife out of her stomach.

When Shigure looked down, it was to a bouquet of red blooming from her stomach. She held her hand up against her stomach, checking it, and then held her hand to examine. Drenched in blood. Perhaps it was the sight of it, or maybe it was because she was already rapidly losing too much blood, but her knees wobbled and she fell to them.

Through dizzy eyes, she watched as the man took a few hasty steps back, and then he dropped the knife to the ground. She blinked. And he was running. Disappearing into the horizon. And then he was gone entirely, because she was looking up at the sky.

At some point, she ended up on her back. And she stared up at the sky.

Ah. So this was it. She was alone again.

What had she been thinking about back then? About what she’d do if she lived. About becoming an advocate for idols. How funny a dream that was. She hadn’t even been able to advocate for herself. A dream she’d dropped before it could even begin. About how badly she wanted to see the ocean, just as herself for once, without all the cameras and costumes. That wish had failed too. And back then, how she’d felt relieved, that she could finally sleep, but then that fear crept back in. She hadn’t wanted to die alone.

Shigure felt a little wet tongue lap at her cheek and it took all of her energy to even tear her eyes away from the sky and to turn her gaze.

“Ah... Geebee... you’re here...” Her words were slurred, tired. Sleepy. But seeing his sad little puppy eyes made her chest clench and tears well up in her eyes. She wasn’t going to be alone.

“It’s okay, Shigure. I am here. I’ll stay with you, for as long as you need. This is not the end. I won’t let you fade.”

She felt his warm little body curl up into her side. Ah. When had she gotten so cold?

She looked back up to the sky. The clouds were still floating on by. With the sunset spilling down, the orange sky looked quite beautiful.

“...It’s cold...” Shigure whispered.

“Take as much warmth as I can give you.” His little body radiated it. “I’m sorry that I can’t do more.”

“Mm.” It was getting harder and harder to blink. Her eyelids felt so heavy. She just wanted to look at the sky. “Ne... Geebee. The others... I already miss them... I want to hold Ricchan’s hand...”

“We’ll have to bring her to you. Maybe back at the village, or would you rather go to her? Whichever you like.” Could she even still hear him?

“A...ha...they already know. I‘m...sure they already...know, but...tell Yuyu that I...that I...lo...ve...”

Her words trailed off and her eyes slipped shut. It was over. Shigure was gone, leaving behind only the scent of blood and rain.

[seven--secrets]

Rite of Dawn's Light || Endgame Pt. 1

They could only wait so long. Whether it was because the long night was starting to end, or the onryo letting out a bored yawn at being made to wait, Shigure eventually disentangles herself from the group of people holding onto her. 

She looks at the onryo. You'd think after everything that had happened, after all the onryo had done, Shigure would hate the onryo just a little bit more. But she just can't bring herself to do it. Not completely.

It's a repulsive and horrible creature, but it's still a part of her. The worst parts of herself personified into a singular being. Rather than hatred, she just feels pity. For so long, Shigure had hated herself with her whole heart. It was no wonder the onryo hated her with that same intensity. But as easy as it was to hate that strongly, it had only caused insurmountable damage. Pain to people who never deserved it. That much hatred did no good for anybody.

It's just a pity she's only learning this lesson now.

"...I can't forgive you for what you've put everyone through, but I can at least understand. I'm probably the only one that really can."

The onryo scoffs. "Oh, please. Not more of this sappy 'I can fix you' crap. It's especially disgusting coming from you."

Shigure just shakes her head. "No. You can't be fixed. And even if you could be, I wouldn't want to. You don't deserve that kindness. But your feelings... I understand those, it's just a shame you're not capable of feeling anything good either. I guess I just feel sorry for you."

"Ugh. I don't need your pity either. Just shut your mouth already, you little bitch. Don't you have some more crying to do? You're going to die a gruesome death soon, after all. At least make it fun for me," the onryo snarls.

"Yes, yes, you're getting what you want," Shigure sighs dismissively, waving the onryo off. It seems she's said most of what she wants already, so she doesn't intend to listen to much more. "In just a moment, we'll die together. Just like you've wanted from the start. You've won, so at least keep your mouth shut until then."

The onryo looks like they're prepared to continue spewing their venom, but something stops them. What that is, it's hard to tell, but maybe the closest thing to kindness you'll ever see from them.

In the background, wisps of magic flowed from Labyrista’s tails as she whispered memory spells, flowing into all of you in the room and throughout the places beyond. Kaz withdrew the box from inside his haori, opening it and retrieving the scroll within, unfurling it in the center of the room. You all could feel it now, the thrum of magic that had previously been contained within the ink of the scroll’s content, unsealed and ready to change the fates of everyone here.

“I’m ready, Momoshiro-san,” Kaz asserts. “I’ve never seen the Rite be used, so I’m not sure what’s going to happen. This could be instantaneous, so brace yourself.”

Once everyone has settled, he closes his eyes, and holds out his palms over Shigure’s palms. “Order. Arayashiki: Gyōkō.” Pure Consciousness: Dawn’s Light.

Magic flows from Kaz’s hands through Shigure’s and into the parchment, causing the kanji to gleam with golden light. They coalesce together, words leaving the scroll and forming a ball in the center of the room between the two. It’s almost too bright to look at.

The light begins expanding, slowly filling your field of view. The thrumming in your ears grows, almost like the beating of a heart. Energy pulses through the room as the light grows brighter, enveloping Shigure as she turns around.

It's her last chance to speak, to express her feelings to her friends, so Shigure smiles big and bright for all of her classmates. Tears stream down her cheeks, but there is no denying her smile is genuine. A smile filled with both parts melancholy and elation.

"Thank you all for giving me a chance. When we meet again someday... let's all become friends!"

And as she disappears into the light, your vision goes white, and your present ceases to exist.

[seven--secrets]

I'm Going To Start Doing That Now. I Want To Be Clear. | Robin | RE: Final Decision, Shigure's Wishes

"..."

Robin doesn't know what he would have chosen, in Shigure's position. With Shigure on the line, at least. If it had been him with an onryo, and him who had to die...the choice would've been at least a little easier. He at least had Ai to find him. He wouldn't be alone. But, Shigure...he wouldn't have tried to push her one way or the other, just that he didn't want to forget what happened here. She deserved freedom, a second chance, happiness down the road. But then, he couldn't argue that his six other classmates didn't deserve the same. He wouldn't be alone, and he was content to know that his friends were okay, so for once, he would actually be okay with either outcome. He'd made his peace.

But, hearing Shigure's decision... He's sorry it came to this. And he's sorry for the hurt he'd caused her, twice -- wait a minute, that computer display when he'd been corrupted, three times over.

He listens. That's all he can do for her at this moment. Listen to her, and heed her wishes. And hearing them...well, that gave him hope, because he heard things he could do to help.

"I...it feels wrong to thank you for this. It's sick, it's awful. It warrants gratitude, but...I wish you didn't have to die for this outcome. But, you've made your decision, and I don't have any right to influence what you do.

"So, instead I'll say...I won't waste this chance. I won't forget what I've learned here, and I'll move forward. I'll keep going, and I'll...improve..."

He trails off. Robin's mind moves to the next part of his sentiment before he finishes the first. Oops. Well, the positive character development was probably some reassurance.

"And, I'm positive I can help with your wishes too. I've got...well, you saw her. A friend on the other side, who's been around the block, and can almost certainly get your royalties going to your sister. And maybe get to your mother, give her what's coming to her.

"And, with your permission...I'll make sure you aren't forgotten. Make sure you'll be remembered as you are, not who they forced you to be."

He gives her one last look, before the Great Pyrenees who's been comforting him tackles him down for pets. "I'm glad that I got to know you as yourself, Shigure Momoshiro."

[seven--secrets]

you’ll be visited by sleep || willow || re: final decision

Ah, so it was just him who chose to forget. Not like Willow was surprised, but being the sole person made his expression falter. 

“I’m grateful for everything you’ve all done for me since my passing. While I’d like to say it’d be nice if I could return the favour once this is over, I know I’ll just be back to my old self—I know I’ll end up treating you all like shit again. I’m not asking anyone to stick around and just deal with it, but…I figured I should bring it up. Whatever I end up saying or doing, just know it isn’t anything personal.”

Everyone else wanted to remember because they had fond memories. They didn’t want to forget the people they’d bonded with because they mattered to everyone, and losing such an important part of their lives would be even more painful. Right? 

Willow paused to take a breath. 

He didn’t have anything like that. They didn’t have friends or partners to miss, and they didn’t have any happy memories of this place either. The only things he’d be taking with him were the knowledge that he murdered someone in cold blood and the miserable memories of carrying that guilt for what feels like forever. 

There was no way he could go back home, look his family in the eyes, and live like he hadn’t done such a monstrous thing. 

They knew that was their own fault because they were the one who pushed everyone around them away, but they couldn’t go back and change how they’d acted. They couldn’t deny that they were being selfish and a coward. Willow was painfully aware that they were taking Shigure’s selflessness for granted. 

To have her sacrifice herself, while they couldn’t be bothered to at least remember said sacrifice? It was pathetic, truly.

But he just couldn’t live like this. 

Willow grit their teeth as their throat tightened. Speaking was difficult and they didn’t have much to say, but they did want to at least give some kind of response. “...I’m not strong like you all. I can’t power through it for the sake of honouring Shigure’s memory and the sacrifice she’s making for our sake.”

Then he looked towards Shigure.

It was strange—knowing that she would be giving her own life so that he, and the others, could live again. Well, he was aware that this decision wasn’t one made because of him. He personally gave her no reason to make such a big sacrifice. No, this wasn’t about him or whether he was “worth” being saved like this. 

She was doing this to save everyone. Not just the deceased but the living who were still trapped here.

Willow didn’t have any right to tell Shigure what to do with her life, so he wasn’t going to comment on whether he thought it was “right”. She chose this for herself, of her own will. He was going to accept that, despite the pit of guilt that weighed heavy on his chest. Willow hated owing people something, and now he owed someone else his life—someone he treated horribly up until now. Someone he didn’t know at all, really. 

While he obviously sympathized with her and the terrible circumstances she had to endure which lead to this moment, he couldn’t say he felt much else aside from that basic human empathy. Again, he didn’t know her. He couldn’t cry for her, or offer apologies, or say he’d miss her. 

“I…” Willow clenched their jaw.

  And so, it felt strange. The pain in his chest was a selfish one, but it was real nonetheless.

All he could give her now was a strained, “Thank you. You’re a good person, Shigure.” 

Breathe, breathe, breathe…

[seven--secrets]

The Only Thing | Kenta | Post-Decision

It was abundantly clear to Kenta what most everyone thought should happen. Even if it's not what that tiny, yet loud, part of him wanted. For as much as he didn't want his own existence to be at the expense of someone else, his regrets had only continued to pile up. If he only had a second chance, then maybe...

But he had quieted that part of him throughout the days he spent as a spirit, trying his best to come to terms with his own death, the fact that he had to drag another to their death because of his own stupidity, and the notion that he had died a bad son. His classmates, his friends, had helped him accept everything. So he was at peace with the idea of spending eternity in the village slowly forgetting what he was so sad to leave behind.

And then suddenly, there's a chance once again, and he almost wishes there wasn't. Because seeing everyone so staunchly argue for Shigure to live, he knows it's not what they mean, but he can't help but feel the ghost of that distance between him and his classmates throughout primary school, junior high, high school, Hope's Peak. The distance that had always, and perhaps always would, be there. Even after everyone helped him accept his fate, there remained a tiny, yet loud, part of him that felt bitter. Far more bitter than an orange like him had any right to be.

But he was never an orange, was he? He didn't love oranges, but he'd eat them with a smile. He actively disliked orange juice, but he'd still happily drink it, because that association was a glimmer of hope that maybe he could be loved and accepted by people. The orange was the Kenta Kowata that he needed to be for everyone else. Work himself to the bone, never accept any thanks, never acknowledge that he had wants and needs too, because he didn't deserve them.

He wonders if he had actually died back in high school, if he would have become an onryo too.

If that were the case, the decision would have been easier. If it was just him, if he was the only one, it would be the right thing to do to let himself go. The decision he'd made time and time again. And that's the decision everyone else agreed on, and so he braced himself. He was okay with it, really. He was okay.

So when Shigure makes her decision, the rug is torn out from under him in a way he can't even anticipate.

Eleanor had healed him not too long ago, finally ridding his lungs of water, but he feels like he can't breathe. It doesn't feel right, he feels like he'll start coughing up water anew. But that tiny, yet loud, part of him rejoices. He'll get to go home and see dad, be a better son, live the life he wished he could have lived.

And that's why he absolutely couldn't forget, no matter what. He couldn't blame Willow; thinking about it now, they're really the only one who went out of their way to snuff a life on purpose, right? If he hadn't changed, he might have wanted to forget how he felt, too. But if he forgets, he'd forget his friends, he'd forget the spirits, he'd forget Shigure, and he'd go back to the person he was before. That, to him, is worse than death.

“You must get taken advantage of often, don’t you?”

"...I-I'm not taken advantage of if I'm happy to make other people happy." "...You're an idiot."

"...I know."

Kenta had chosen everything that happened to him (or so he had made himself believe). Shigure hadn't. She should hate him by now, and if it was just him, it would have been okay to leave him dead, right? Would she like him more if he chose to be selfish now? To be happy that he might get to live? He's spent so long as a spirit, he doesn't know what an alive Kenta Kowata is supposed to be like.

"...I..." His voice is rasp and hoarse. Like a person lost in a desert for years, about to have their first drop of water. "I'm not n-never gonna forget Shigure-san..." It's not fair. She deserved to be happy. "Somehow, I... I-I'll try an' do as much as I can... t'make the choice... worth it..."

Because there's very little he could do on his own, as insignificant as he is. Even with Shigure's words to Riley ringing just as true for himself—to put himself first and let himself be happy, to be a little bit selfish—he can't accept that as enough. That's just how he is, for as much as he's changed.

"...Before, I... was jealous of Shigure-san..." He admits. "I was jealous that... Shigure-san got to stop bein' like Ran-san, an' got to be accepted by everyone... I-It felt like... That could never happen t'me..."

He tries his best to give another smile. A real one, not the wide, dopey grins he used to deflect.

"...But... I-I'm not gonna waste it... I'm gonna... become someone that can be accepted... Someone that... I can accept.

"I-I'm gonna write, send pictures and stuff, too. An'... I wanna talk and meet with the spirits here too, i-if I can... I still really dun' get how this all works... But I dun' wanna say g-goodbye, ehe..." He doesn't get how some of them can essentially 'manifest' in reality and some can't. But he knows it to be true to an extent, so he'll take what he can get. 

"Shigure-san..." 'Thank you' isn't quite right. "...I'm sorry." Not an apology from trying to claim the blame for anything, but from empathy.

He can't cry yet. When it's all over, and he hears his dad's voice on the other end of the phone...

Nope, even the thought makes the tears start to fall. So just for now, he'll allow himself to sob.

[seven--secrets]

what makes life worth living? || yuuto || re: the choice

Upon Shigure’s choice, it’s impossible to describe the plethora of emotions that he feels. A twisted, winding mess that simply leaves a heavy pressure to his chest, to the point where all he can really do is lean his head down onto the edge of the table, his forehead pressed against its side as he tries to catch his breath.

Close your eyes for a moment or two as you simply try to breathe. The world is spinning, as the promise of time reversing, the promise of undoing it all is upon you. How long have you desperately wished for this, the wish of returning home once more? That you would hear, feel that heartbeat once again?

All of this undone at the cost of a single life. But even if this entire story was started by you (you, who else could it have been?) did your life not have meaning either?

Silently, even though it’s cruel - a heartless, passing thought that makes the pressure worse, so much worse - he agrees with Kaneko’s words. Make it count, he had said, hadn’t he? Make use of your decision to your fullest extent. Because deny it as everyone would like, every option here holds a sacrifice. Save four, but what does that say to those that are left behind. Are those not sacrifices too? They hadn’t asked to die.

(But it’s not like you had asked for this either, right?)

Selfish. He’d always been selfish. Figures that now that it’s been decided, he doesn’t know how to proceed. And even as everything speeds up - anger, tears, wishes and requests that get shared on the trial grounds (thank you, thank you for being born) - he finally lifts his head. Yet, the words that need to be said die in his throat.

For what is there to say? Thank you, for choosing to die? I’m sorry that we’ll have to leave you behind? I’ll miss you, even though I don’t know you? Everything sounds distasteful. Insincere. Artificial. Insulting. 

The world was never meant to be fair. It was unforgiving. It was cruel. It clung into the darkest etches of your mind and grabbed on, never letting go until you were brought down with it.

But did that not make life not worth living through? Was there no meaning from ever being born at all? And even as the option was presented once again - choosing to forget it all, to leave it all behind, there’s a moment where he does waver the slightest bit. Because given the option to forget, to reset it all - had this been him from the start, still living with the ghosts that constantly haunted him from the moment he woke up to the moment he slept, he doesn’t doubt that it’s something he would’ve taken in a heartbeat.

Now though, the thought of forgetting leaves him sick to his stomach. How could you even fathom forgetting, with what you’ll inevitably leave behind? The memories that you’ve created, how could you possibly choose to forget them all?

So he swallows, replaying Shigure’s request in his head slowly, carefully. Put your thought and care into it, even if it’s a lot at the moment.

“... You’ll be remembered as you are. Not out there, but as you are now. Your life still had meaning to it.”

If not for him, Shigure’s life still at least spoke in the hearts of others. From the teary smile that Yumeko emitted, to the hitched sobs that Riley shed, to how hard Chioko had fought for her to live, as well as the words of countless others - that had to have meant that your life had merit. That it meant something real.

And maybe in another life, he could’ve properly managed to understand you. From the moment he had met you, set his eyes upon the caricature that was Ran and not you, there had always been something that felt off to him. A lingering sort of guilt that festered in the corner of his consciousness that made you unapproachable to him, all the more ready to keep you right at arm’s length. It’s a cruel industry, he knows that, perhaps even seen bits and pieces of it himself. But he’s already dragged someone down with him, staining bits and pieces of an almost pristine reputation prior, so he wouldn’t want to approach you either.

But at the very least, you managed to reach the hearts of the friends you’ve made. A glimpse of what could’ve been, if life had just been a bit kinder. That has to mean something. He doesn’t have it in him to resent anymore, nor does he either to forgive.

Because how could he resent you or be angry at you for simply living? He’d be nothing but a hypocrite if he did. And now that you’ve chosen to die, all that’s left is this empty finality. It’s ending now. This nightmare is finally ending. But at the cost of you.

So he won’t thank you for your choice, for choosing to die. Not when there’s seven other lives at stake. Not when it’s such a distasteful thing to thank someone for. And neither will he say that he will miss you, because neither of you ever took the opportunity to know each other. But he’s seen bits and pieces of your journey, if not as a spectator, watching as you formed your first friendships among the bathroom stalls for the first time with an angel and a racecar driver.

Even then, that had been real. You couldn’t fake that. Private conversations not meant for his ears, but knowing the context right now, he’s at least grateful that they became special enough in your life.

“You were real, and you existed in people’s lives. I think that speaks for itself, Momoshiro-san.”

Take care, yea? Even if you become a distant memory, take care. Life moves on, and doesn’t stop for anyone. Yet this time, even if he doesn’t have to stamp his vote in unlike the prior reiterations, struggling to see through shaky hands as the ink smears the card (stamp it, why can’t you stamp it?), this would be the last time they were going to send someone off to their death.

Miyu would be reunited with Himeyuri and her parents. Willow would lose their memories, but still be able to live on with their mom and best friend. Kenta would see his dad again. Ryou with his brothers and sisters. Robin and Yuka, with Kaneko, together at last.

And Wakaru, who would return. Finally, he’d be able to share the sky with them, if not for the jacket that was draped over their shoulders. A blobfish that sits in his tent will be able to return to his owner at last.

But all at the cost of your life.

Thank you, even if it’s selfish and cruel. If he can’t bring himself to say it out loud, he’ll let the words linger in his head instead.

In the end, there’s no other words that he can utter for now, short sentences dying in his throat.  To those that were fortunate enough to not have lost until this final moment, to say goodbye to a friend, to someone you love, how does it feel? It hurts, doesn’t it. He wants to get rid of such tactless thoughts, this strange mix of hope, gratification, but emotional detachment as well. 

Beseechingly, almost as though he needs the reassurance himself, he reaches out to hold the hand next to him under the podium. For what does this say about him, if he can’t even bring himself to cry, nor feel the sorrow that everyone else feels? Keep him tethered, grounded to where he’s at, or else he feels as though he might just drift away.

And finally, his eyes finally drift to the mirror to where the ghosts are, before finally back to Shigure once again. Resignation and acceptance. He is sorry, Shigure, that it’s all boiled down to this. He doesn’t doubt that she was made for great things. 

But sometimes the cards you have been dealt in life are just like that.

“... Take care, whatever it’s like after this. You’ll be remembered.”

A repeated reassurance, even if it’s from a bystander. He hopes it can at least reach that thought to her.

[seven--secrets]

the value of one || kanna || re: the choice

Just like that, the choice was made. So quick – Kanna almost missed it, almost convinced herself she was hearing things. So soon? So easy? This hadn’t been what she’d been expecting – she was anticipating the worst outcome. Bracing herself for it, even, trying to find a way she could swallow all the resentment and grief she’d feel all over again, trying to process losing them not just once, but once again. 

She inhaled once, a deep breath – shaky, but invigorating. She couldn’t stop breathing now. Pride would not allow it. 

She really was sick of the anger, the spite, the hatred - all she wanted now was to expect nothing for you. Feel nothing for you.

So why’d you have to go and do this, huh? Give her back everything she’d lost so easily? You are aware of the cost, right? It might have been what someone like her wanted, but it’s not what she expected from you. It’s not the choice she thought you’d make. You still had all your friends. Your romantic partner. You had everything to gain and nothing to lose by staying and choosing to live, and she still resented that to a degree. 

It would have been so much easier to resent you if you had chosen to live. 

She’d understand the decision, and she’d respect it through gritted teeth. Choking on pride left no room to eat her words. But she’d resent it all the same, an empty, hollow, nothing resentment with nowhere to go but inwards, so –

Now what? Now she had no reason to resent you. And now she had to deal with the guilt for having done so. Deal with the guilt for continuing to do so, if even just a little bit.

She said she wouldn’t hate you anymore, and she meant it – now, it was so much more complicated. Now, there was pity, guilt, lament. There was a lot more to it, but none of it breached her heart. None of it made her want to weep for you, and she was aware of how wrong that may be.

She wouldn’t hate. She meant it. She’d take no pleasure in your death. There would be no satisfaction in the end. But she’d shed no tears, either. She wouldn’t grieve and mourn with the others. It wasn’t her place, nor did she want it to be, and she was sure you felt the same. Her name wouldn't be on the guest list for your funeral. 

In the end, she’d be just like the rest of the world who never had the chance to know you – a faceless bystander, catching only a glimpse of the headlines detailing the murder of a promising young idol. The drone and buzz of the newsreel as a solemn-faced anchor relayed the tragic loss of a one Mermaid Idol Ran to the whole of the nation. An entire population, as one, shaking their heads and thinking ‘oh, such a shame,’ before carrying on their way as the weatherman replaced the sweetheart idol’s face with a forecast calling for rain. 

That’s all it’d be for people like her. And she couldn’t apologize for it. It’d sound so empty. It’d sound so much like resentment. 

Because make no mistake, she didn’t think she could ever bring herself to like you. Tolerance, perhaps, was the most she could extend. Because that was all she had been offered in turn. She could not and would not reach out to those who did not do the same for her. 

She had known you were fake from the start. She hadn’t wanted to see the real person beneath all the glitter and glamor. She pulled away when you approached because it was too close – keep away. It was easier to admire at a distance. It was easier to accept love for what you weren't when you felt what you were was so undeserving. Any closer, you’d see how much she loathed people like you, and she’d see how you detested people like her. Neither of you really wanted that, right? 

And that wasn’t changing now, and it wasn’t changing ever. Things said and done on both ends that were impossible to forgive, no matter how many attempts at amends were made – and it always totaled up to zero. 

She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t take any more heartbreaks. Another rejection would crush her. 

How did mother live like this? Kanna didn’t know how the woman lived with a heart so shattered.

Because Kanna was done. So much loss. She couldn’t scream any louder than those telling her to die, to have never been born. She couldn't fight against those who would try to take her life. There weren’t any more steps between her and the open air. She couldn’t escalate it any further than she already had – 

Why was it so fucking hard to have someone say it was okay to exist as you were? 

So, how did you do it?

Because you felt the same, didn’t you? That was the sentiment behind your whole career – just wanting to live as you, and having others say it was okay. So she hopes one day – she can’t expect to be forgiven for not being able to forgive and forget – but maybe, one day, she could be understood.

Just like you were. 

How horrible. How wretched of her, in the end. Anger and hatred were so hard to let go of, huh? Especially when it’s all you were. Kanna had her anger and spite or nothing at all. Once upon a time, you were the same, but now you were different. 

She was a bit envious, but Kanna could at least be glad you learned what love was like, in the end. 

Twisting the rings around her neck absently, she glanced over towards the dead. Wakaru’s ring still felt like warmth. Soon, she’d be able to give this back, return it to where it belonged. Soon, it’d be their voice she heard – not the static filling an empty tent. 

And there’s still someone’s hand in hers. There’s another shattered heart that’s still beating besides hers, through it all. Through everything and anything.

Kanna had her anger and hatred…But that wasn’t all, right? She glanced over towards the reflection of the dead, to where someone was waiting. The ring felt as heavy as a waterlogged heart.

Part of her wanted to forget. Wanted to forget everything. It'd be so much easier, but what then? She'd go back to anger, grief, hatred, bitter spite. That really would be all she ever was again.

'You'll always come back to me.'

Did that have to be true? Couldn't it be someone different? The one she wanted to come back to was waiting. The one she wanted to come back to was standing at her side.

How could she forgive forgetting that? She'd never allow herself. 

If you could find the strength to die for others, maybe she could somehow find the strength to live with herself and all she had lost.

Soon, all she had lost would become all she had. 

Soon, but at what cost? Was this really okay? Could she say ‘thank you for your life’ with all her heart? 

Choking on her pride left no room to speak. All she could do was turn away and wait for the end. Maybe another time, another chance, another life. 

She won’t apologize, but she's sorry it came to this. She wouldn’t cry, but for the first time, she didn’t deny others their grief. And she wouldn’t reach for you because she never knew you – and she hoped that was okay. 

…Maybe, from time to time, when Kanna took their hand or called their name – she’d think of you. You, and all you had to give just for something like this. She'd remember the value of one, how it totaled up to seven. 

And maybe that really was the best she could do.

[seven--secrets]

Forgive me for my childish ways || Kaneko || Re: The Choice

Everything in her runs cold as Chioko threatens her. As Sibyl's face turns. As she is met with the fact that her words were wrong. But she wouldn't, she couldn't, take them back. Would she be able to rest if she hadn't at least defended Kenta, Robin, Miyu, Willow? No, that's not who she is. That was never who she was. But--

That didn't matter now as Shigure made her choice. 

She was going to get Yuka back, she was going to get Robin back. She was going to get her fairytale ending, and yet she didn't feel like she deserved it. Instead her heart sputtered and it clenched as she saw the break downs, one after another. She had been there. She had that moment of desperation as someone was ripped from your arms. The moment where it was so easy to bite and lash out and fight. To become savage, to become feral, because that one moment was never going to be enough. The rings on her hand felt so heavy. 

Opening her mouth, she closes it almost immediately. What can she say? What can she say that'd mean anything. Shigure had only recently come around to her. She had wasted so much time with a fictitious enemy. She wanted so badly to make it black and white. She wanted so badly to be the good and for Shigure to be the bad. But in reality, they were closer to each other than she wanted. The same color of grey. 

"...I'm sorry." Is all she can get out before shuddering her breath. 

What is she sorry for? For being childish, for being naive, for living her life only viewing it from a filter. For never knowing how cruel the world was, for never trying to understand, for standing with those who the world hated and for shunning those those people hurt. She's not sorry for picking Shuuya, she will never be sorry for picking Robin-- but she was sorry for not trying to meet ends. She's not sorry he died accepted by her, she's not sorry for yelling and for fighting. But she's sorry for being selfish. 

"I wanted to be your friend so badly in the beginning. I wish I let ourselves heal before the end...If I just talked to you instead of avoiding. I even...ahaha...I even liked you. Though that was a mess of not knowing if it was platonic or not." Kaneko pushes back her bangs and looks at the idol. Surrounded by love, surrounded by those who took the energy to get to know her. "I--..."

She has no words. She has nothing she can state. She didn't know if she would write, all it would  be would be documentation on the fact that she was living a life Shigure would never get. The right to fight tooth and nail for freedom, the right to love and the right to be loved. She wouldn't hug the idol because she hadn't earned that privilege. 

"I'll miss you."

And of course she would. She'd think of Shigure when the sun shone across the ocean, pinks breaking with the waves. She'd think of Shigure every time her fingers grazed the shells that decorate a part of the shop. She'd think of Shigure every time Ena would cook a spicier dish and she'd think of Shigure whenever she felt weary of dealing with it all. The urge to keep fighting, that was Shigure. 

"And when I think about you, I'll think of you as my friend...And maybe when I see you again, we could really try to be that. I'd really like to be your friend."

[seven--secrets]

Thanks For Being Born || Yumeko || Re:Shigure's Choice pt 2

To grieve, to mourn, to lose is human.

Yumeko had shed the wings of their angelic persona a while ago, but never had they felt so unbearably human than in this moment. When Shigure pulled away from their grasp, even just slightly, to begin to speak to the group. They wanted to cling to her, hold her close, never let her go. But they could not. They could not stop her choice, GB would protect it with all he had, as demonstrated by Chioko's failed attempt.

The wheels of fate had been set into motion, and there was no stopping them now. So when Shigure did pull away, they let her. They let her turn to speak to the group, to Miyu, to Wakaru, to so many in turn. They wanted to listen to her every word, carve her voice into their memory but the words seemed to slip into haze as they took the time to breathe. To try and calm down, even if just enough to speak. They felt like they were drowning, barely able to keep their head above the turbulent waters that threatened to drag them deep down, into a lightless abyss. But they had to try. To keep breathing, to gather their words. They had so much to say, and if they did not soon, they would never be able to.

But before they could, Shigure turned to them once again. For maybe the last time, they'd hear her voice address them. So much love in it, so much sorrow. How happy those three words had made them. How even still, they made Yumeko happy, even as they knew this would be the last time.

There was so much power, in those three little words. A spell just for them, a fragment of magic, that would not heal the pain that was to come, would maybe soothe the worst of it, in their darkest days. They'd been loved. So very loved.

"I love you too, Shigure. I'd always hoped I'd have years to write all the words I'd need to tell you how much I love you but..." But they don't have that time anymore. They have minutes now, the sand slipping through their hands like a broken hourglass. Every fragment counted, every second. So many words, they'd have to fit into so short an amount of time. "I...I don't regret it either. I don't regret even a single moment of the time we spent together. I know.. I know it hasn't been long and I wish...I wish it could be so much longer, but these weeks have truly been some of the best of my life. Thanks to you, I've remembered what it's like to smile, to be happy to..." To feel loved, to feel important, to be special. To be human, to live and be human again. For all it's joys and sorrows.

To remember, to memorialize, to carry through grief and loss, is also human.

It was like she'd seen, for a moment, that painful thought they'd had, their desire to throw it all away and return to zero. Return to being that cold, lonely angel. But her words were not scolding, for that cowardice. Simply a wish. For them to remember her, to remember everyone and everything that had happened here. To remain human, through it all. They could not refuse, and with a pained sniffle, they nod.

"Of course I... I won't ever forget you, Shigure. If I somehow lived a thousand, million years, I'd never forget you, or anyone here. Even though things have to end now, the days I spent here with you, with everyone here are... So important to me. I won't forget, I won't...I won't. I just...I wish I could do more for you, than simply remember. I wish you didn't have to do this, all on your own, I wish I could burden some of the pain for you." They have to stop to wipe their tears, they want to see her, they don't want their last moments to be a blur. When she mentions that she hopes they'll find someone else to be happy with some day, they want to reject it, to say that they'll never love again, it's that fairytale instinct again, the princess and the knight, destined to be together. But... They know why she's saying it, and how much it must hurt to say.

Before they can speak though, she continues, cupping their cheek for a moment and then... Her ring. His left hand, taken and the ring placed upon it. Where one would place a wedding ring. A light conversation from what felt like ages ago filtered to the top, how they'd said they would want to marry her one day, once things had settled, once they'd lived together, once Shigure was free. That dream was over before it could even begin, and a fresh barrage of tears spilled from his eyes at the memory, and at the feelings conveyed in the action and the ring itself.

Loved... They were so loved, huh?

To love and be loved, is human too.

"Of... Of course." They say softly at first, their voice weak, as they clutch the faintly glowing ring to their chest. That comforting shade of blue, right next to their heart. As it should be, as it always will be. They won't ever be apart from this ring. Whether it's on their finger, or worn on a chain over their heart, it will always be with them, just like the memory of Shigure.

With a trembling hand, they reach up to cup her face in their hand, and kiss her, one final time. A kiss so full of love and tears. A thousand words, voiceless but never the less full of feeling that threatened to pull them under. 

They pull away, after a moment, and look her in the eyes despite the tears spilling down them. "I will always love you. Even if I become old and gray, even if in the future, I meet someone else, even if I don't, even then, I will always love you. I... I'm so glad we met. I'm so glad I could give you this much happiness, even if it was fleeting. I'm so, so glad, Shigure. My beloved, dear, Shigure."

A sob, but they swallow it down. There is still so much to say.

"I'll keep your memory alive for all my life, so that your spirit stays strong... So that one day, we can meet again, at the end of all things. I will live a long life for you...So can you promise me that too? That you'll find a life here, in the realm of spirits?" Maybe it's selfish to ask something of her in this moment, when she is already doing so much but... It's what they want more than anything else in this world.

"A-and...thank you. Thank you for loving me, for showing me there was a place for me in this world, for taking me by the hand and showing me so much. Thank you... Thank you for being you, Shigure, for being here, for being born into this world, that I had even this small chance to meet you. Thank you, thank you..." They don't want to let go, but they have to, don't they? They want to talk forever and ever, so that she might never step away and into the dark. But they need to let go, soon don't they?

They take her hand, in this moment, for they need not let go just yet, only soon. But they smile through their tears for her.

A loving, bright smile, just for her. 

[seven--secrets]

Blue Moon, Blue Ocean || Shigure || Trial 5 || Re: Everyone

Shigure already expected an intense reaction to her choice, but that didn’t make it easier. Seeing the people she considered cherished friends reduced to tears, feeling their desperate grip on her, made it all that much more difficult to maintain her conviction. She didn’t intend to change her mind. There was no point in backing out. She already knew this was the right choice. Really, the only choice. But even still, she wavered. She appreciated G.B. stepping in to guard her, even if she understood well enough that Chioko only had good intentions. It was true that she’d had so many choices taken away from her. It was just unfortunate that the choice she finally had the freedom to make for herself just had to be this one. There was certainly a lot to address, from everyone. They deserved at least that much, even if talking was painful right then.

But just for a moment, Shigure stayed in Riley and Yumeko’s embrace. It was so warm. She could’ve stayed like that for an eternity. 

There was no time limit, but Shigure was more aware than ever that the time she had left was in short supply. She didn’t want to waste it.

Shigure ran her fingers through Yumeko’s hair, gently combing through it with her fingers, trying her best to soothe them as she held them near. She’d always had a fixation with their hair, huh? Even back when she was still pretending to be Ran, she’d played with their hair as they slept. Part of that was just to keep in character, but there was more to it than that. It’d always felt so silky and smooth and that hadn’t changed even now that it was shorter and darker. She could feel their tears against her neck. She could feel Riley’s tears against the top of her head. Hearing everyone crying was already hard enough, but feeling their sadness manifested against her skin just overwhelmed her all over again.

She needed to be brave and strong throughout this. Maintain her composure. She couldn’t buckle under the intensity of the grief, but was it still so wrong to cry a little?

“Hic…” Shigure sniffled and buried her face into Riley’s jacket. So warm. Soon, she wouldn’t be able to feel warmth like that anymore. She wanted to soak up as much as possible while she still could.

It was okay. Everything was okay. This was fine. This was the decision she’d chosen. But that didn’t make it any less painful.

She stayed like that for a while, just softly crying against Riley’s chest. It was all so difficult. Not just because she had to die again, no, but for the people she’d have to leave behind. Those who cared about her and didn’t want to see them go. She didn’t want to see them in pain like this. She wanted to erase that pain, to take it away, but ultimately, she was still selfish.

There was no right moment to pull away from Riley and Yumeko’s embrace. There was no moment where suddenly she felt strong enough to let go and face the others, but she knew she couldn’t stay there forever. There was still so much to address. So much she needed to respond to, and she couldn’t do that with her face being muffled by Riley’s jacket, nor struggling with tears. Shigure wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. Although her eyes were still watery and her throat felt tight like she was going to cry again, she held them back. At least, for now.

It was best to start with addressing the group, rather than individuals. She would work her way to that.

“…To be honest, I never thought I’d be in a situation like this. So to answer what I want is a bit difficult…” Shigure peeked at Miyu sheepishly. She appreciated Miyu’s willingness to help, but her brain was so scattered. “…I know…it’s probably a lot to ask. I don’t blame Willocchin for wanting to forget, and I don’t intend to change his mind, but…if just some of you could remember me, that’d make me really happy." 

It was a lot to ask. She already knew that. It wasn’t a fair request after all the trauma they’d all been through. She knew a lot of them probably wanted to just leave it all behind, but…

”…Most of the world is going to remember me as a victim of that horrible man. There’s no changing it. But…for everyone here, I’d like it if you could remember me as I am now instead. I don’t want to be remembered as a victim of some creep. If that’s too difficult, I understand, but even if it’s just a few of you…I’d really like that.“

A few of them had already promised to remember her, but she really wanted to explain it. Express her desires as much as possible while she was still alive to share them. And now down to the individuals…

”Wakachu…“ It felt a bit awkward to call them by that nickname, knowing the baggage behind it, but it was the easiest way to express her feelings for them. She wanted them to understand, there were no hard feelings for them. Not anymore. And she wanted them to know how sorry she was. "I’d like it, um…when you get back, if you could deliver a message to my sister for me." 

"Nee-chan is always so busy with her work. I think that’ll be even more true after I…ah. I don’t think she’d have any reason to come home anymore. I bet she’ll drown herself in it.” If there was one thing Shigure could guarantee about her big sister, it was that the woman was a workaholic. And if Shigure were gone…then there was a good chance that Nanami Momoshiro would never come back to shore again. “You…and the Professor, you’ll have the best chance of reaching her. She’s always out to see for research. I…obviously don’t expect you to go out on the open seas or anything like that, but if you could just get ahold of her and pass on a message, I’d like that. If you could…just tell her, um…tell her that I always admired her, and that I wanted to be like her so badly. Tell her that I was really grateful and I couldn’t have asked for a better older sister…no, that I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. She took care of me better than anyone else. She taught me to love the ocean with my whole heart, and I’ll never regret that. Is that all too cheesy? Aha…sorry. It’s difficult for me not to…”

She looked to Takako next.

“Sensei, I’m not sure if you’ll be able to, because of the stipulations on my contract, but if it’s possible, but if you could, do you think you could make sure most of my royalties go to my sister? It’s not like I can really leave a will or anything, and everything is still going to my mother. I don’t even know if there’s anything you can do, but if I had the choice, I’d want for my mother to get nothing. She doesn’t deserve a single yen after all those years she squeezed me dry. I’m sure she’ll try to capitalize on my death. Play the part of a grieving mother, but I just…I don’t want her to get away with it. If there’s anything you can do, I’d like that.”

It was a bit of a mean sentiment, but she didn’t particularly want her mother to suffer. Just…to cut the cord binding them together. She didn’t want her mother to have any connection to her, nor to make any money off of her, even in death. She hardly forgave the woman for all the pain and anguish she put Shigure through, it was more like…

A modest life of obscurity. That was the sort of thing that her mother would hate the most.

Shigure turned her attention back to Sibyl. It had been a while since she’d had any sort of love for music, but that was still the connection that linked them together. And it was also the kindest thing that Sibyl could have offered to do for her. To write a song specifically for her, and not some trashy mermaid themed pop song meant to charm adoring fans, was a kind gesture. The day hadn’t come yet where Shigure loved music or singing again, but that didn’t mean it never would. She’d already felt herself healing. Singing together with Sibyl…it had been nice. Maybe one day it would be even more than nice. But the point was, Sibyl wanted to make something in her honor, and give her the choice on whether or not she wanted to sing. She couldn’t refuse that.

“Mimi…next time when we meet again, after you’ve lived a long and wonderful life, if there’s a song you want to give to me, then I’d be honored to sing it.” It might be a long time before she would have that chance, but that would just give her plenty of time to learn to love music again. “…I’ll miss you too, Mimi. Maybe it’s a little strange to say now, but…I’d like to think that we’re friends now. I know…things like that are hard for you, and we didn’t have the best start…” Well, more like Shigure had just hated her for no reason at the very beginning. “But…for a while now, I’ve thought of you as a friend. So I’ll look forward to the song you write for me, Mimi. I’m not sure how everything will work, but ah, if my stuff is still in my tent, I’d like you to have my dolphin stuffed animal. Her name is Nanami. I just think…you’d take really good care of her.”

Shigure looked away from Sibyl and then to Chioko. The hug had just been a ploy to trap her, to keep her from going through with it, but Shigure couldn’t really be upset about it. From the start, Chioko had been honest about her opinion on this matter, and Chioko had always been one to take action for what she believed in. To say it wasn’t a surprise that Chioko tried to stop would be an understatement. Even as Chioko had closed in for the hug, Shigure had expected it. The embrace was warm, even if restricting, but it hadn’t last long with G.B.’s involvement. With all of the powerful yokai around, Shigure already knew there wouldn’t have been any way for Chioko to truly interfere, but it still made her heart clench tightly in her chest.

“I’m sorry, Chicchan.” Even though Chioko had been forced into submission didn’t mean that Chioko actually accepted the choice. Shigure already knew that. “Thank you for being such a good friend to me. I know you’re just trying to protect me, the same way you always try to protect everyone.” That had always been Chioko’s thing, hadn’t it? “Back at the beginning, even when you started acting like we were friends, I still didn’t trust you. I don’t know when it changed, but it was almost like a switch flipped and I started to see you as a friend. It was…nice. We always just talked about normal things. It had been a while since I was able to have a friend like that. So…thank you. You’ve really been through a lot, Chicchan, but you have a lot of wonderful friends on your side to support you. I won’t be around anymore to talk about silly little things like Crossing Animals anymore, but by the time we meet again, I’m sure they’ll finally have fish villagers and we can play together! I’ll wait for you until then. In my tent, there’s a wooden sword keychain. My old friend Yuuto gave it to me. I’d like you to hold onto it. It’s a little bit silly now, but it used to remind me of happier times, so I always held onto it.”

Shigure’s eyes flickered between Yumeko and Riley. She knew she needed to talk to them too, but her heart clenched in her chest. She couldn’t do it. Not yet. She still hadn’t thought of what to say, so instead she looked to Miyu.

“Micchan…I don’t know if I can say you were my first friend here, since I was lying at that time, but…thank you. You really forgave me for a lot, huh?” It was a bit embarrassing now thinking about how she’d robbed Miyu’s corpse. Seriously, what had she been thinking? “Thank you for being so kind to me, and…thank you for being my friend too. I can’t really say there’s anything I need you to do, just…take really good care of Hime-tan. That’s all I really want.”

Perhaps that was a weird thing to ask, but she just wanted everyone to be happy. And she knew that Miyu would make Himeyuri happier than anything else, whatever that meant for them.

And then…who she’d saved for last to address. The two she still couldn’t find the words for, but she supposed she never really would.

“Ricchan. I’m gl-glad I could meet you.” She’d only just started talking and the tears were already pouring out, but how could she stop herself from crying? It hurt. Her chest stung with every breath. How could she even begin to explain the depth of her feelings? “I was so mean to you at first, but you never gave up on me. No matter how much I snapped at you, you just kept trying to help me. B-Before, I thought everyone was out to get me. That the world was terrible and rotten along with all of the people in it. I thought everything was corrupted, and anyone who didn’t fit into that mold was just an exception. Even with Yuyu and Nee-chan, I thought they were different. Everyone else was just scum, but I put them on a pedestal. But even though I was so horrible like that, even though I always thought the worst of you with everything you did, you never got frustrated with me. You still reached out you hand to me and never rushed me to trust you. I’m sure…I’m sure I was so frustrating. I don’t blame you for being scared of me. I lashed out and blamed you for things that weren’t even your fault, because I was afraid of getting too close to you. I didn’t want to be burned again. But even after all of that, you never got angry. None of this was fair to you. You’re not a therapist. As much as you try to support others, I was selfish and never let you lean on me. Even now…even now, I’m still hurting you and I can’t even do anything for you.”

Shigure tried to wipe away the tears again, but they just kept coming. 

“You can write me as much as you want. Even if you wanna write every day. E-Even if you send me silly things! I’ll take all of it, s-so…just in return, live a long and happy life. A life where you’ll finally put yourself first and you’ll let yourself be happy. I want you to be a little bit selfish, Ricchan. It’s okay. If you want an excuse, you can just think ‘this is what Shigure would want me to do.’ So…please? Stop hurting yourself for others.”

What a hypocritical thing to say when she was the one causing Riley the most pain now, but she just wanted desperately to see Riley live for herself for once. It’s what Riley deserved. She deserved all of that happiness in the world.

From her pocket, Shigure pulled out a brooch. It was a light blue background with a white dolphin hopping through a hoop on the front. Very cute, and it suited Shigure quite well. But had she ever had something like this before? She reached out to place the brooch in Riley’s hand. She reached her hands out to gently hold Riley’s and curled Riley’s fingers around the brooch. 

“I brought this brooch back from Kazoo’s dungeon, all back then. At the time, I was still pretending to be Ran, so I don’t know what compelled me to do it, but I got everyone from our group matching brooches. Almost like a memento…or something like that. I don’t really know why…but Wakachu, Micchan, and Yuyu all have one too. I’d like you to hold onto mine for me, Ricchan. I know dolphins aren’t really your thing, but…I think the color will suit you. And…if for some reason you ever miss me, you can just hold this and think that I’m with you…or something like that, aha…" 

It was just too heavy. All of this was too heavy. Goodbyes were painful, but it was worse trying to leave without one.

And then there was Yumeko. Where did she even begin in trying to address them? She’d already shared how much they meant to her so many times in so many different words. How could she express that in a new way? There were no words deep enough to describe the extent of her feelings towards them, to describe how grateful she was to them, how much they mattered.

But…she could start with three.

”Yuyu…my Yumeko, I love you.“ She’d said those three words before, plenty of times, but right now, in this moment, they held the weight and the gravity of the world. "I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” It was difficult not to get completely manic and just continue to spew out apologies, but what else could she do but apologize? She’d brought them into her world, let them into her heart. They’d held each other through their mutual loneliness and now she was leaving them alone again. If they’d both known this was how it would end from the start…would they still have fallen in love? Shigure knew her answer, but still. Still.

“I know…this is selfish to say as I’m the one leaving you, but I don’t regret any of the time we spent together. And if we had to do it all again, I would still choose to love you. We’ve only been together for a few weeks, but…in this time, even with everything the onryo tried to throw at us, every moment I got to spend with you was the happiest I’d ever been. That time together was worth more to me than a thousand lifetimes, so…th-that’s why, right now, I’m okay with dying. There’s so much more I wish we could do together. I wanted to spend my life with you, but…even without all of that, our time together was more than enough to make up for the wasted years of pain and solitude. I wish I didn’t have to leave you like this. You’re so wonderful, Yuyu. Someone like you…should never have to feel any loneliness or pain. I don’t want to put you through any of this, but…I’m going to be selfish again and ask that you please don’t forget me. I don’t…I don’t want you to forget me, or anyone else here. I don’t want you to go back to being closed off and alone like before.”

If it could just be her. If they could just erase her from their memories, then maybe she could learn to be okay with it, but she’d seen how far they’d come. All the friends they’d made, how they’d opened up their heart and learned to smile again, and she didn’t want to see that go away. Not now. Not ever.

“I…I’m sorry. None of this is fair to you. But you’re so wonderful, Yuyu. You’re the best type of person there is. You’re kind, you’re giving, you’re selfless, you’re loving. You’re smart and inquisitive, and you’re fiercely protective and loyal. I kn-know that one day, someone so precious like you, you’ll find someone else to be happy with.” Even if it broke her heart a little to think of them with someone else, she just wanted them to be happy. She didn’t want them to put their life on hold or wait for her. They’d have a whole wonderful lifetime to live and she wanted them to enjoy every moment. “You’ll find someone better, someone who deserves you. I just know it, but…I’m just glad, if even for a little bit, I was able to experience your love.”

She had to wipe her tears away again. They were making it so much harder to see. But even as tears continued to pour down her face, she smiled. A bittersweet sort of smile, just for them.

Shigure reached out to cup Yumeko’s cheek in her hand. She used her thumb to brush away some of their tears. It would all be okay. Maybe not now, but someday. 

She briefly retracted her hand to remove the ring from her finger. A beautiful ring forged from ceramic and inlaid with crushed pearls and white opals. In the darkness, it glowed an ethereal blue. Looking at it now, Shigure thought the white suited them. She’d always associated white with them, not just because of their previous hair color or their preferred shade in clothes. It just suited them. A pure and bright color that always drew your eye. If she had to describe the color of Yumeko’s soul, she would probably say it looked white. The color of light.

They had so many rings on their fingers, but it didn’t matter. Shigure had already decided where she’d put it. Gently grabbing his left hand, Shigure slipped the ring onto his ring finger. She held it gently for a moment, before pulling their hand to press her lips against it in a kiss, just like she’d done all that time ago.

“I want you to hold onto this for me, Yumeko.”

If she remembered correctly, by wearing her ring, they’d be able to feel her feelings too. Would that still be the case after she was already gone? Once they were out of the spirit realm? Shigure wasn’t sure, but hopefully they would be able to at least remember her feelings. 

Sure, they would probably be able to feel her fear and anxiety. Her apprehension and uncertainty. They would definitely feel her pain and sadness and loneliness at having to leave everyone behind. But above all else, overwhelming above any other emotion, they would be able to feel her burning love. Deep and vast, just like the ocean, in gentle waves to hold them close like a warm embrace. 

Wakaru was right. For as much as she suffered, Shigure also loved.

[seven--secrets]

bittersweet eulogy || wakaru || re: final decision

“Momoshiro-kun…?” 

Being on the other side of self-sacrifice–it doesn’t feel too good, does it. That sinking feeling. Wakaru had braced themself for a different answer. One that would let Shigure take her newfound happiness in her own hands. Bating their breath. Trying to decide what to say to the others, before they’d be separated.

But it would leave a bitter taste, wouldn’t it, to pull your happiness by its roots from a place like this. Among the graveyard, to take it and leave. Even if it were well within your rights.

Wakaru could understand that much, at least. But…

They’d braced themself for a different answer. What could they say now, before Shigure would be separated from the rest? To Yumeko, who would lose their most important person. To Chioko, Sibyl, and Riley, who would lose such a precious friend?

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

( “Stop saying sorry. Even if you did mean it, you’re not the one who did anything wrong. I’m the bitch that hated you. So…stop saying sorry. It’s not going to change anything.” )

It’s not…going to change anything, huh. How awful it would be, if this was Shigure’s will and sacrifice, to make her final moments full of wilted flowers and empty apologies. But what else could they possibly say?

“…I don’t…” I don’t want you to go. It was probably something like this. Seeing you off to your death. Everyone wants you to live and experience a life of your own choosing. It was probably something like that. Everyone wants you to be happy. Weightless sentiments that wouldn’t change anything. Not from them.

How childish. The quivering voice and watering eyes, trying to cling to something that couldn’t be held down. They’ve returned to a familiar graveyard that’s been long overwatered. If Wakaru shed enough tears on that day, water blended with salt and the rumbling in their chest – then maybe they could have resembled the ocean you loved just a little more closely, and you would have chosen to stay. Please don’t go. Not like this. They’ll smile for you next time, so–

( “I’m not your mother, Wakaru.” )

…Ah. It feels more cruel than ever for them to see Shigure as a ghost, even now. How awful. How much would it have hurt her, to be seen as merely something you wanted to see, something you wanted to be real. An illusion, some form of false idol.

Perhaps Shigure wasn’t so unjustified in having hated them, but…it’s not as if they don’t understand her feelings right now. They probably understand as much as anyone, the will to sacrifice for the many. With time, they’ve come to understand the beauty in the tragedy. When the little mermaid gave it all up, and returned to the sea…

It was love, wasn’t it?

It was love.

It would be easier to ask her not to follow through, if it were only them–but it’s not. It never was. Shigure’s choice would also allow Miyu to return to her family, to bring her light back to the world. How often had Wakaru wished for the chance to bring Ryou back home to his beloved family safely, so he could hold them close just one more time? Kenta, who always went out of his way to be kind to everyone. Robin, who had always wanted to better himself, and Willow, who’d never had the chance. Yuka, who for the listless look behind their eyes was nothing but a source of warmth to them.

“I’m… Thank you. Momoshiro-kun–Shigure-chan, you really…” You don’t have to do this, they can’t seem to get the words out. Not when everyone’s lives hang in the balance, when it’s not about them. They don’t know if there will ever be a right answer to all this, but it’s been said time and time again–this is Shigure’s decision. This is her choice, and they’d promised to respect it. To not interfere. If this was what she truly wanted, then…

“…I’ll never forget you. The hardships you went through that lead to this, but more than that…all the good things, that came after. Seein’ Momoshiro-kun make friends with people she could trust, even after everythin’. The way you spoke your mind an’ followed your heart. The way you love animals, an’ the ocean, and your sister and friends. Even when you suffered…you loved a lot of things, didn’t you?” Even now. Even now, when your heart is wrenching, the people you love shed their tears and hold you. It was love, wasn’t it? 

“I think…I’d rather remember you for that, so…” Not all the many ways the world had been cruel to you, but that you’d been loved in turn. Not as a false idol, but as a friend.

“I hope the next world is kinder to you, and… I hope you can help Inko-chan find their family.”

[seven--secrets]

The tears start coming and they don't stop coming | Riley | Final Decision Reaction | ATTN: Shigure, Willow, NPCs a lil

Riley’s surprised when Sibyl gets up only to give her of all people a hug before things conclude as panic grips at her chest, but she accepts it, squeezing the smaller girl tightly for a moment. Sibyl tries to move away, and Riley clings on for a moment, wishing that she’d stay with her in the center, but… She won’t force her to, and ultimately she lets her go. 

However things were about to go, anxiety was heavy in her chest. She doesn’t respond again until Shigure herself speaks up, knowing that any arguments she would make would only distract from the choice that Shigure would have to be making, and she’d said more than enough about her own feelings by now.

And then… 

It hurts. It hurts just as deeply as she expected it too, when Shigure’s decision comes. Even the mix of relief at the fate of the others here can’t override the knowledge of what that will come at the cost of once this was all over for her. 

On one hand Riley knows she would have picked the same if she were in Shigure’s place, if it were her own soul on the line. To save 7 people’s lives at the cost of her own, in a situation where sacrifice would have to be made no matter what in some way. She gets it. She would always want to, because she would be willing if there was no other way. It was a worthy sacrifice, even if she would have loved to have no sacrifice needed at all in the first place.

But it hurt so much more to see someone else do the same, to know that she’d lose another person all over again. She would never have wanted to force that result on someone who was unwilling to make that sacrifice, to feel like she was the one who plunged that knife directly into her just as she’d had to do with Sibyl before. At least then she had known it was to help her friend, painful as it was. Here, it would have just felt like murder. 

She would never have asked Shigure to die, even if she understood the situation perfectly. But this had been Shigure’s choice, and Riley had agreed to accept it no matter what choice she made, no matter how much it might hurt to. No matter how much she wishes she could just keep looking for some better solution to be had, some way to save every person here, even if she knows that there almost certainly can’t be one. 

She doesn’t have far to go, having already moved beside Shigure long ago by now, once she gets her chance, once Chioko puts her down on the ground again, Riley wraps Shigure (and whoever else might be still doing the same, Yumeko definitely included, and Chioko if she’s still nearby) in another tight hug as a full sob breaks it’s way out of her throat, the lingering tears on her face instantly doubling. Even with the onryo presumably still Right There, she wasn’t about to hold back now. Check out how hard I can cry-

By the time she pulls back enough to actually look at Shigure, her face is a complete mess that she can’t even begin to pretend isn’t the case, and she sniffles a couple times as she tries her best to get herself able to speak again.

“Sorry… if this is overwhelming, I just… God, I don’t even know what to say, I’m sorry,” she chokes out finally after a moment. “I know… that all of this was painful, that there were a lot of downs even with every up but I… I’m glad that I even got to know you, Shigure. I definitely won’t judge anyone else for choosing to forget this happened if they need to, but I won’t. It’s… the least I can do, to carry that memory f… forward. And if there’s anything else you’d like… just… let me know too, okay?”

She manages a small weak smile in the end, despite everything. It’s probably not as comforting as it could be with her makeup running like it is, but it’s still something, she hopes.

The rest of everything that’s happening sinks in only a few moments later, as Riley looks slightly pained at the thought of some of the other things happening, GB’s comments in particular. She knows that it isn’t her place to say something though, not right now at least. But she also nods, once Kaz reveals who among the dead would like to forget. Honestly, she’s surprised that more of them wouldn’t have opted for this given what they’ve been through, but she turns to the mirror that is presumably still streaming this and offers a nod of understanding.

“It might be awkward but… would it be okay… if I sought you out again after this, Willow? I think it’ll be… nice to get to play baseball with you again, and get to actually talk more too.”

Awkward in that she is now a much more traumatized person than before, that she might not be immediately back up to the plate. Even if her heart would hurt at the thought of what had happened though, she still very much didn’t want to abandon him and miss out on the time she might get to have, just like she’d said before :sob:

And finally, Riley turns to the spirits here who’ve been helping them. To Kaz, and Labyrista, and GB, and Rei. 

“Is there… Is there any way that we can still contact Shigure afterwards if she does this…? Any way that we’ll be able to see or just even talk to… any of the spirits we’ve met again, after this happens? I know that Kaz, and Rei, and GB… and that some other Yokai can manifest in the human world, and I absolutely want to keep in contact with you too after this if I can manage it, but… I don’t know enough about human spirits. 

I don’t know if us ending up in the spirit realm like this while we were alive was a once in a lifetime experience, if two way communication is possible for any of you to facilitate that, but… Thank you all too, for everything you’ve done already.” 

Even if some form of indirect communication is possible, Riley knows in her heart that it’s much more likely that the next time she sees Shigure will be after she herself is at the end of her life. It hurts, but she still manages a tear filled smile as she turns back to Shigure once more.

“And even if not I’ll… I’ll write to you, Shigure. I’ll figure out how to send what I’d like to for you, and I will. I…” She pauses, drawing one final deep breath that becomes a shaky laugh as she exhales. “I hope I don’t end up annoying you with… that kind of thing, but I’ve… always been pretty sentimental.”

The type to hold on to pictures of happier times even when tragedy strikes after them, to cherish small moments and objects. 

“And… I hope… beyond everything else, that you can find some happiness still, on your end too. Please, allow yourself that if you can, even if it’s not easy or… or quick to find. That’s my… biggest wish of all, I think.”

Despite the pain of the circumstances, of the way that this was happening and the ache in her heart because of it, that would always be what she hoped most of all.

[seven--secrets]

I'll Follow You Into The Bark || GB + Chioko || Post-Decision

GB has nodded along to Kaneko, despite the sorrow that clung to his fur after hearing Kenta try so hard to be a good boy. That boy truly was a puppy. These morals, they truly were children, weren’t they? Adults by their standards, but so young. Little pups. It wasn’t wrong to cry out for what you wanted, for what you believed in. However…

“You forget what you are, mortal. You spoke your opinion, let others have theirs.”

A whine and a bark, something that did not seem natural from the mouth of a dog. Was that…. Laughter? Was he laughing at her? There was arrogance, but also rage. Sorrow and pity. Humans had to deal with too many emotions. After this, he was going on a vacation where he just did dog things for a while.

“You’re going to try to stop us? You would have to be at least a tsukumogami. No, at least a yasha to get in my way. Let nobody speak ill of her! Let nobody deny her her choice!”

He growled, and the world growled back. The room shook, rumbles sending anyone with poor balance to the ground. A threat he obviously would not go through with. Softy… He didn’t want to hurt anyone. He didn’t fight here for reasons. For one, gentleness had never been a part of him, titles aside. He had no doubt his skills would have been less effective against the Onryo as well. They were the same, both evil spirits, without that touch of divinity Kaz had. Without the neutral might of Rei. Too similar to do any real damage, but strong enough to be a bother.

He hopped down from Shigure’s arms, settling the ground around her, and only her. He would not let anyone stop her, but he would also support Shigure. GB presses his flank against her ankle, a soft whine escaping him.

“I won’t let you face this alone. I’ll stand by your side, alright? Death is something humans fear. It’s natural. It’s terrifying, but you know it’s not the end. It’s painful and awful, but I won’t let it be the end. I’ll take your soul somewhere safe, where you can recover in peace. The offer is the same to you as it was to the dead before-” Even though he really only offered it to one person. “I will do whatever I can to find you happiness in the afterlife.”

“Shigure…”

From her seat, Chioko moved over to Shigure, a trail of tears running down her cheeks. Her body opened up to hug her friend who had chosen to sacrifice herself. It was against what Chioko wanted but that would not stop Shigure. She had accepted that. All she could do was wrap her in a sorrowful hug. Arms gently held around her, shifting and coming behind Shigure to tightly grip her. The next moment Chioko had Shigure lifted up into a bear hug from behind, trying to stop her from going anywhere.

“I said I would not let you sacrifice yourself and I was not bluffing.” If they were going to take Shigure they would need to remove Chioko from her. 

“No you don’t.”

It was always awkward to watch smoke pool around GB and give his form more mass, making him as big as a horse. He padded around behind Chioko and picked her up by the back of the shirt, giving a little shake to make sure she dropped Shigure.

“I won’t let anyone take her choice from her. If you care for her, you’ll let her take control of her own life. Her choices were stolen from her long enough.”

Squirming a bit, Chioko put up a marginal fight for a bit. Eventually she stopped, letting herself accept that there was nothing she could do. Though frustration radiated off of her for anyone who could perceive such a thing. 

“Fine… If there is nothing I can do, at least don’t let her death go unpunished. I can not accept a man attacking an innocent girl like Shigure and going on with the rest of his life satisfied that he succeeded. He must pay in death to show him the error of his evil. Do that and I will stop fighting.” 

“Of course I’m going to punish him. I’m going to kill that human.” The sound out of GB’s muzzle was darker than his normal words. “Ever since I left my forest, it became my profane right to murder any human that trips. He can run to the ends of the earth, and I will find him. But I am not so kind as to give someone so foul a quick death.” He loved Shigure too, after all.

He plopped Chioko down, but it was obvious the now-big dog did not trust her not to try again. She was stubborn. Such a silly puppy. …He was so tired. This reminded him of how Lightbulb would chew on his ear when she was a newborn. Silly puppies indeed.