“Everything you can imagine is real.”

Quote by Pablo Picasso, background image by ぺーた. This blog is more or less just something to fuel my imagination with pretty pictures now and again. A reblog here and there, maybe a drabble or two when imagination strikes... that sort of stuff and a few shenanigans with my friends. Writing Blog

[captainevans]

Who does he think he is? Some kind of Hollywood action hero?

[all1e23]

If this doesn’t turn you on you are a liar.

[seven-bridges]

guns never turn me on

[did-you-know]

There used to be a paint made of ground- up Egyptian mummies. ‘Mummy Brown’ was a favorite color of many 19th-century European painters, but some people were so upset by its ingredients, they buried tubes of it in the ground out of respect for the dead. It was still being made up until 1964, when the manufacturer’s ancient mummy supply finally ran out. Source Source 2 Source 3

For example, much of this painting is made of ancient dead people:

[seven-bridges]

(I’m trash, sorry.)

[did-you-know]

“Schnapsidee” is the German word for a ridiculous idea that only sounds good when you’re drunk. Source Source 2 Source 3

[kamorth]

Okay so what’s the German word for schnapsidee you have when you’re completely sober?

[seven-bridges]

There isn’t one for that exact situation (at least none I can think of right now) but for bad ideas in general: Scheißidee (shitty idea)

[requiem-4-a-drink-deactivated20]

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

[rotg-fan-page]

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

[ckascade-deactivated20170413]

Not risking it

[unorthodox-views]

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

[thearcalian]

@mostlycatsmostly

[weavemama]

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

[trip-usingizi-rp-blog]

This shit is wild.

[goodshinyhunter]

There should be an amber alert or something to warn us, hopefully. But if you’re so close to the blast that the entire outside flashes white your first priority is to get underneath the blastwave any way you can.

After that you have 2 options: drive away or protect yourself from the radiation.

Option one is tough because literally everybody else is going to want to do this, and you could get stuck right in the fallout. And lemme tell you, if you’re stuck out there when the ashes first fall for more than 15 minutes, you’re dead. Radiation poisoning.

Option two is harder, but has a better success rate. Get underground. Most houses have a crawlspace, but in this bad time just saw a fucking hole in your floor. Put table over hole. Pack some large containers (like tubs), with dirt, tight, and stack them on your table or wherever you’re going to be directly underneath. you need 36 inches if dirt to be protected from the radiation poisoning. You could preemptively buy lead and stick that in a container with a lot of serface area, i forget how many inches you need vertically.

How ever much serface area the dirt/metal/lead covers is how much you and your party will be able to move around. As long as there’s enough inches vertically you’ll be good so long as you stay under it.

You gotta stay under there for at least 2 weeks, 3 to be sure.

[galaxy-manticore]

Also, if you can see the mushroom cloud, stick your arm out as far as you can. Do a thumbs-up and close one eye. If your thumb is bigger than the cloud, you are safe. If the cloud is bigger or the same size as your thumb, then that means you are in the radiation zone and should evacuate immediately.

[magic-owl]

I cannot believe I actually have to freaking reblog this but here y'all go just in case

[shit-editor]

Take a break from the humor for just a second and read this.

[thewickedwilds]

Sorry, what year is this again??

[miyakuli]

** Permission to post from their pages was granted by the artist Don’t remove credits & don’t repost/edit the art Please, rate and/or bookmark their works on Pixiv too **

Artist :   偶仔ASO (pixiv / weibo)

Source

[clarkent]

what's so great about the mummy 1999?

are you ready for this? 

it is the most wonderfully made, historically inaccurate, giddily fun, perfectly paced, goofy horror movie romance novel bullshit bonanza that has ever blessed the silver screen.

i mean it is just so beautifully full of every genre without being overwhelming.we’ve got: comedy, action, suspense, horror, romance, adventure, ancient aesthetics, and it’s a period piece. all perfectly balanced and blended into one movie.

and the characters are so LIT

we got our main babe, evelyn “motherfucking” carnahan, a super-klutz librarian, total history nerd, and certified badass/damsel in distress. she raises the dead on accident, because she cannot resist books, and has the guts to put that motherfucker back where he came from and literally saves the world.evie’s greatest hits: 

“what is a place like me, doing in a girl like this?!”

*after totally destroying the library* “i’ve just made a bit of a mess in the library.”

“no harm ever came from reading a book.”

evelyn: *upon opening the tomb* “i’ve dreamt about this since i was a little girl.”rick: “you dream about dead guys?”

“oops.”

then we’ve got rick “brendan fraser” o’connell, your not-so-typical battle hardened gun slinger with a heart of gold. he seems filthy, rude, and a complete scoundrel at first, but then he turns into a literal puppy, with massive heart eyes, that worships the ground evie walks on.rick’s greatest hits:

*screams at mummy*

*screams at sand*

*screams at things that are illogical to scream at*

*screams*

next is our Comedic Relief Character™, jonathan carnahan, who also rises above his trope. he’s there for the laugh sure, but is never useless. he actively helps to move the plot along and isn’t just there. he also is the farthest thing from brainless and annoying.jonathan’s greatest hits:

evelyn: “have you no respect for the dead?”jonathan: “of course i do, but sometimes i’d rather like to join them.” same.

oh and that time he was like “IMHOTEP” and saved his own ass like that was so smooth, y’all know what i’m talking about right??

then there is ardeth BAE. he is the audience rolling his eyes because *sighs* white people. he’s tired of these motherfucking mummies in this motherfucking desert. literally prettier than everyone.(he has a much bigger role in the mummy returns, but is still so fab here)

and of course THE MUMMY. imhotep. actual emo. literally carved some poetry into the back of his sarcophagus when he was buried alive with flesh eating bugs, because he is that Extra™. just wants to bring his girlfriend back to life so he can make out with her without it being treason. 

and all the side characters are also gr8.

now i wanna take a moment to talk about the romance. because it is so BEAUTIFUL. like usually in action movies it’s macho man undermines girl and they bone. not here. no time for that shit. 

rick and evie have such a great relationship based on mutual respect and affection. they both cater to each other’s strengths and cover each other’s weaknesses. they are the literally definition of: “those two. in a fight, they’re lethal. around each other, they melt”

what else, i could literally talk about this movie all day.

the special effects have held up pretty well.the music score is GORGEOUS.the costumes are amazing.the makeup, especially for anck su namun, OH WOW.the george of the jungle era brendan fraser sign me the fuck up.rachel weisz.

so many good things.

it’s just great.

#i secretly rate every action movie from 0 to the mummy

it’s a beautiful mess of a movie that can be enjoyed by people of all ages and transcends time and posterity as the alpha mummy movie, and to those who disagree i beseech you:

[therealkn]

It really is a fantastic movie.

[sleepyowlet]

And when the characters speak Ancient Egyptian, they’re not speaking gibberish or Arabic. They’re speaking Ancient Egyptian. Yes, for real, the creators invited an Egyptologist specialising in reconstructing Ancient Egyptian on set and he translated the dialogue and coached the actors in pronunciation. So it’s not just the words, grammar and syntax are spot on to the point that when I went to see the movie with my fellow Egyptology students, we could actually understand what they were saying.

[madeupmonkeyshit]

[annabellioncourt]

I WAS SO BOGGLED BY THIS UNTIL THE LAST IMAGE.

[6balls]

i witnessed the most fascinating thing today imo…my 4th grade art class were talking while they did their work and one of them was like “if you work hard all your life…….it means NOTHING” and their response was to all crack up and start running with this bit like. “you work all your life on an oil painting. the mayor comes in. he says ‘i didn’t even ask you to do that painting.’” they kept going giving examples of nothing mattering and laughing hysterically. they’re 9. like, we think OUR humor is depressing or w/e, how are THEY going to be

[certified-p0ser]

Millennials are depressed but the Gen Z kids are straight up nihilists

[seven-bridges]

there is a reason that “the floor is lava” is such a popular game all over the world. You die a horrible death when you lose.

[seven-bridges]

petition to throw quota pervert mineta into the sun

[leepacey]

I say, jolly good show, chaps. And did I panic? I think not.

[zombeesknees]

#the comic relief who is genuinely comic  #and who makes the ‘incompetent bufoon’ trope actually work as an endearing quality as originally intended  #well played movie - well played  #john hannah  #WHAT A FOX

[antivillain]

#but! BUT!!!#THE GREAT THING ABOUT JONATHAN#IS HE’S NOT INCOMPETENT#he can read ancient Egyptian albeit not as well as his baby sister#he clearly has an interest in archaeology if only for treasure-related reasons#he had to go through intensive schooling to get the sort of permit required#to even have digs of his own#WHICH HE CLEARLY DOES#on a dig down in Thebes#he says and Evie believes him#Jonathan reads from the Book of the Living and he’s an excellent shot with a rifle and is clearly a boxer#Jonathan is SO COMPETENT and SO IMPORTANT#while simultaneously being plucky comic relief without JUST being plucky comic relief#u get me?

[star-anise]

Jonathan, like Phryne Fisher, clearly hasn’t taken anything seriously since 1918.

[jkthinkythoughts]

And, I would suspect, for similar reasons.

[thebluemeany]

^^^This. Jonathan being in World War I makes total sense. It’s almost impossible for him not to have been. Given his age and background, he probably volunteered in 1914.  

Of course he’s going to not take anything seriously. Of course he can shoot. The drinking, the skittishness, the recklessness, the sense of ‘keeping your head down’, the scepticism about traditional heroism….

The one with more actual experience of death, carnage and fighting is Jonathan. Not Rick. Not Ardeth Bey. Jonathan.

When Rick says ‘I’ve had worse (situation/odds)’ and Jonathan replies “ Me too”. That’s probably true. 

Drop The Mummy into the real world context and that’s a character who’s going to have seen a lot of his school friends die, along with the myths and tales of heroism they were raised on. Sort of makes the line where Evie’s scolding him for drinking/messing about a lot darker…

Evie: Have you no respect for the dead? Jonathan: Of course I do, but sometimes I’d rather like to join them.

[gingersnapwolves]

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

*record scratch*

Wait a minute. Why is it being assumed that Rick and Ardeth wouldn’t have fought in WWI, as well? Johnathan isn’t that much older than any of them–in fact, there is a good chance that he, Rick, and Ardeth are all of an age. Just because Johnathan’s hair is thinning doesn’t mean he’s a decade older.

It was a LOT easier to lie about your age back in the day. So much easier.

Johnathan is the soldier who fought in WWI and became disillusionsed with pretty much everything except wanting to live (most of the time) and live well–and where is the shame in that? He would have seen some of the darkest shit humanity has to offer, and he kept going. And the thing is, though, archaeological digs at that time were DANGEROUS. Not from curses (usually) but from assholes who would turn up with guns to try and steal anything you discovered. Johnathan never really STOPPED having to deal with dangerous pricks, it was just less dangerous than death raining down from the sky in bomb, bullet, and mustard gas form all the time.

Rick grew up in Egypt as an orphan. What paperwork? He joined the French Foreign Legion, which fought in World War I in some seriously critical battles on the Western Front in Europe. Rick is the soldier who quickly grew disillusioned with everything, but he didn’t know how to stop being a soldier. Johnathan had a career and schooling to fall back on. Rick had guns, the talent of not dying easily, and not much else. When the army finally left him behind because he was literally the only survivor of his last FFL battle, he literally didn’t know what to do. At all. “Looking for a good time” was code for “Please someone give me a fucking purpose.”

Ardeth grew up in the desert. He probably never enlisted…but if you think his people didn’t fight against invading forces during WWI, think again: that region of North Africa was swarming with soldiers on both sides, and they alll tried to claim everything they stumbled over even while in the midst of fighting each other. Ardeth spent his entire life fighting to protect what belonged to him, what belonged to his people, and trying to keep assholes from stealing things that didn’t belong to anyone (for good reason). By the time the war was over, Ardeth was disillisioned in everyone except his own people, and seriously fucking done with stupid idiots who stole in the name of archaeology. He is completely (justifiably) resigned to the worst when Rick the Magic Survivalist returns to Hamunaptra.

[headphonejirou]

“I’ll never let you feel sad again. I swear it.”

[seven-bridges]

I have this terrible feeling that he’s gonna die

[localstarboy]

[thank-you-everyone-deactivated2]

he lived with a man for a good decade so

[theheartisalonelyhunter]

newton was a gay sugar daddy pass it on

[352364334737574fr-deactivated20]

my physics teacher in highschool and college physics prof both talked about how he had a forbidden love w his pal fatio lmao

[surprisebitch]

wow physics and calculus are gay pass it on

[seven-bridges]

I read Newton responded with GIFS of cash and was very confused for a moment.

[capebaldy]

[shattterhearts]

@spacepirate113

[seven-bridges]

too soon

[rex-luscus]

Hey guys

Remember LJ icons?

They were TINY. 100x100 pixels. That’s, like, digital scrimshaw. And people were obsessed with making good ones - and there were CONTESTS, super cutthroat ones, and trends would sweep the icon-making world every week or so and as soon as you mastered a technique it would be passé, and there were whole communities dedicated to tutorials and icon-making resources, and it was all its own WEIRD LITTLE WORLD.

Is there anything like that now? What do graphics-obsessed people make in the Tumblr era?

[sailorstkwrning]

If there is one thing I miss about LJ it’s the shadow-conversations people used to have in comment threads solely with their icons. Icons had a vocabulary, and a grammar, and you had to learn it.

Gif sets: not quite used the same way.

[rex-luscus]

Right! It was a whole different dynamic because you could choose which icon to post with. So it would be like “I’m wearing my Severus Snape with a Weird Al song quote mask to say this.”

[kdazrael]

FLASHBACK MAAAAAN.

For a year or two I had a paid LJ account and I remember being actively excited about the EXTRA ICON SLOTS. I would be able to express myself with a wider array of Thor and Batman reaction images!

[akiyty]

a friend and i once had a conversation that went to, iirc, something like 6 pages of comments, just the two of us, only with out icons

[katiegeeks]

100x100 pixels wasn’t scrimshaw on the monitors we were using. It was a totally reasonable percentage of screen space in the resolutions we had at the time.

[bankuei]

Icons were your mood indicator, emoticon and gif rolled into one.  I actually miss having multiple icons to choose from.

[did-you-know]

For every human killed by a shark, there are approximately 2 million sharks that are killed by humans. Source

[did-you-know]

[awed-frog]

You didn’t need your heart today, right? Good.

[seven-bridges]

meanwhile, my dog heard a loud peng out in the garden, ran towards me, grabbed the playing ball that lay at my feet, went past me and ran through the open door into the house.

priorities.