i will be, somebody.

This is a safe place. No discrimination or leave.

[sevenreasons]

Anxiety

you thought you made it out alive, you thought you overcame thought you lost it a few turns ago thought that it forgot your name even after quite a time in silence even after quite a long hiatus anxiety shows you what you're made of and just what it was that made us. it humbles you, it chokes it's intentions are anything but subtle losing consciousness at its grip at the end of soil and its shovel anxiety will bury you, in an unmarked grave, just forgotten you thought you were beyond all this but in a split second, you're just.. right back at the bottom

[fatimazainab]

Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

[sevenreasons]

Are people from the 2010 era still on here?

Are my people here?

[sevenreasons]

Calling into the void

Not expecting an answer

Learning the choreography

I'm not much of a dancer

I'm screaming out my soul

Until there's less inside of me

Unloading off my baggage, untagged

Hoping it doesn't find me.

[sevenreasons]

Tumblr was when I last felt free

It's crazy, but I'll say it

it sounds insane, but I'll brave it

Tumblr was when I last felt like me

It's the last time, that I felt free.

I can't explain it,

cause you're all strangers

Not much different between the platform

it's nothing major

but before, It felt like vomit

unloading all of my thoughts

and now it feels like, should I say this

or should I not?

Tumblr was my chosen form of communication

only place that gave my mind a vacation

whether I was faded or wasted, I found it in me

to unload my grievances to make my heart feel free.

Tumblr was my sanctuary

and I hope it can be that again.

[sevenreasons]

The Words that Pack Punches

I will make my poetry damage put your sanity at a disadvantage I will linger my lingo on your delicate ears, I will utter your utmost unbearable fears I’ll be a mirror to what you can't stand, I will be, I will be; the devils right hand.

I will twist and turn, I will tear you down You will writhe and burn and then you will drown Drown in my words and in between lines They’ll choke you, fill lungs and crush brittle spines oh my, oh my, my words they can kill this truth hurts your soul, and shits on your will.

My poetry is angry and so you know, as am I my poetry will haunt you, and yank out your cries. I will, and i promise, I’ll take your gladness away My words are coming for you, and they’re coming today.

[sevenreasons]

I ration my love for you, because when you get too much I feel like you don't love me as much

Rations; Excerpt from Ramblings by sevenreasons

[sevenreasons]

Been a while

It’s been a while since I last felt this way been a while since I could not describe my pain I’m older now, and yes, wiser still Haven’t found a remedy - not sure I ever will.

[sevenreasons]

I'm back, any of my followers still around? Lol

[sevenreasons]

I don't think that I am hard to love, but I think.. I am hard to know, thus making it hard to know if I am hard to love.

[sevenreasons]

Just a little glimpse into my first attempts at graphic art.. Pictures coming soon.

[sevenreasons]

24

I turned 24 yesterday,  everything is still the same the sadness and the madness and who, for it, I choose to blame

nothing is ever different on the anniversary of our birth but for me, this only holds untrue for what I value my own worth.

I’m still sad, misunderstood maybe worse off than before but sad still and misunderstood.. I know I deserve more

Happy is not progress though, still great, I’m sure but for me, knowing I’m worth a damn that’s what it means to be twenty four.

[sevenreasons]

My first graphic art painting. Not too bad.

[sevenreasons]

January, 31st, 2017 (8.3%)

I’ve discovered a lot about myself over the past several years. I’ve learned that although you get a handle on some things, others become more of an obstacle. The only thing that still has me here, that has me breathing, that has me mostly in good health, is my resilience. It’s my will to live, my will to help others, and help others wish to live. I’m all about the ‘brighter side’ even if it’s hard for me to embrace it myself. I have to remember my importance. I have to remember the importance of the way I think, it allows me to regenerate my positivity over and over despite depression tagging along. I have to remember I’m strong. I have to remember to act like it.

[sevenreasons]

I love.. your thoughts, your knots, your kinks and flaws and the way you pause between points. The way your mind is double jointed like you think this but understand that and I love how you don’t turn your back on your friends, I love how you don’t pretend. You just say what you mean and what you meant. I love how you’re real, you feel and even though you’re reluctant and you wanna act like you don’t hurt sometimes, if I ask I know you’d look me in the eyes and say, yeah. I get depressed sometimes. You don’t let your pride choke you on the way down when you swallow it, you understand values none of that hollow shit. You breathe in life and you exhale knowledge, you are forever learning even if you don’t agree with college - and I love that. You’re an educated - and I don’t like this word but - nigguh, and you shoot off wisdom like your tongues a trigger. You are the epitome of a man. A guy who treats his girl sweet, his momma like a queen and takes his grand mama to the movies. Your family oriented and a good big brother and isn’t the type to stack up babymothers. A guy that thinks before he speaks and when he does he can make a girls knees weak. I’ve always believed in you and you believed in me and nothing is truer than a man who encourages a girl to succeed even without wetting his beak a little. No matter how brittle or easy a riddle it would be to trick me into giving you anything you need. You put me first. You gave me such a thirst to never give up and to always be better and whatever happened you kept that in my mind, and I rewind it all the time. You said I had worth and that I was so cute that it hurt(I may be paraphrasing) but, you made me feel like if no one has I’d probably be the first to change ignorant ways of thinking without blinking. You make me laugh until my ribs feel like they’re about to crack.. I can’t get enough of that. Now thinking back you’re one of the only real friends I’ve ever had. It’s sad because I’m on the west and you’re on the east and we’ve been friends since we were about fifteen and still never met and thats absurd to say the least. But we feasted on each others minds and spent our late nights and early mornings online and we always found the time. We roamed different streets we slept in our own sheets but we had a world together and I’ll remember it forever, like everything down to how you laughed at the weather here when we were getting snow before winter and you were over there getting splinters from lawn chairs. I never thought it was fair, but you made it easy to laugh at. You were the bright side of everything and you were all I could ask for had I wanted you to begin with. But you became the only one who I wanted to sin with. We were like peas in a pod and I swear to god you didn’t leave my mind for more than moments at a time. I loved damn near everything about you, even the way you taunted me, because you flaunted me and everything I never knew was bottled up in your personality and you challenged me and now I can finally understand that statement about life, and how friends are either for a season, a reason a lesson or a blessing and you were each one.

[sevenreasons]

In case you haven’t seen this :)

[nuffsaidsnow]

<3

[sevenreasons]

It’s kind of hard to explain anything these days. I always feel like people are expecting a certain answer from someone like me. I feel like nothing I do is going to be right. I feel like nothing I say is going to have impact. I’m just hoping, hoping, hoping for some sort of big revelation to myself, from myself. Something that jumps out at me and tells me all the things I can’t figure out. Do I matter to anyone? Does anyone want me around? Is this new feat going to become something better than this? Uncertainty wouldn’t be so incredibly frustrating if things were good right now, because I’d be in no rush to get to this possible future of mine.

When I’m feeling like I’m on the edge, it would be nice to know before I do it, that I’m not going to jump. I would take it as a breather instead of falling apart thinking I’m too far gone to get it together. I wish I knew myself 5 minutes from now. I guess that’s the scariest part, I don’t know who I am.

It’s hard to explain.

[sevenreasons]

I guess I think i’m an artist now | Art by Joella