Team SewsHigh

The 2016 GISHWHES Team SewsHigh

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Item 55 - Gishwhes has broken 7 Guinness World Records. Let’s see how many records you can break in 10 seconds. (Hint: record=LP)

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54 - IMAGE. My grandmother, Dorris, lives in a retirement home called Roland Park Place (RPP) in Baltimore, MD. A few years ago, I put RPP in the Hunt. People started showing up with flowers and cookies. She called me in a panic, “WHAT IS HAPPENING?! CALL IT OFF!” A few hours later, she called back, “Well, it isn’t so bad…. Maybe just tell them to come during visiting hours.” The next year she said, “You’re going to put RPP in your hunt again, right?!” Clearly she was excited by the prospect. So, we did another RPP item last year. This past year she’s had some health problems. She’s 92, a bit tired, cardiologists, etc. She has been vacillating. She told me to put RPP on the list, to take it off again, and finally yesterday she said, “I think we should do it.” So, if Gammy says “do it,” it is a choiceless matter— it must be done. Visit RPP and take a photo with a resident. Bring a small gift: cookies, flowers, a deck of cards, a board game for the rec room, some water colors, etc.… One more thing, your photo must show you dressed as a pirate. The RPP resident should have at least one pirate accessory on as well (a hat, an eye patch, etc.), which you must furnish for them. If no member of your team lives within 50 miles of RPP, you may perform this item at any retirement home or assisted living facility anywhere in the world. This item must strictly be performed between the hours of 9AM and 5PM, on a weekday (not the weekend).

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Item 50 - Virtual reality interfaces are absolutely amazing. The technology is mind-blowing. Using virtual reality and augmented headsets like the Hololens and Oculus, I have stood on the surface of Mars at Jet Propulsion Laboratories and examined the undercarriage of the Mars Rover, been in the eye of a hurricane, and have been attacked by heavily-armed 19th-century militia. It’s mind-blowing. Your task is to create a virtual reality experience totally unlike any VR experience to date. This video will require a super-short, adrenalin-pumping intro-teaser, which will let the viewers know that they are about to experience VR like never before. THEN, abruptly cut to a 360-degree clip of the most mundane activity you can imagine. BORE US TO DEATH.

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Item 48 - Let’s stop sugar-coating our grievances and complaints! Actually, strike that— let’s actually sugar coat them. Confront your boss or employee about an issue in the workplace that has been irking you. While doing so, you must be entirely coated in powdered sugar. Your body language must convey your frustration.

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Item 49 - Cosplay a thunderstorm, in public, complete with sound effects, lighting and rain. - Karen Hutchinson

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Item 46 - This video may be up to 20-seconds. Everyone knows how important specific diets are in developing a chiseled physique. Find a bona fide, professional, competitive bodybuilder or ultimate fighter in peak condition and have them create a 20-second infomercial touting the muscle-building, fat-burning, nutrient-loaded virtues of aerosol spray cheese (like Cheeze Whiz). We must hear the athlete’s name, credentials and see their glistening, oiled, body as they “sell” us (however they best can do that) on the benefits and delicious taste of the aerosol spray cheese. This should probably include ravenously squirting the cheese directly into their mouth. Bonus points if you get a former World Champion.

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Item 47 - Submit two images, side-by-side. Recreate a famous, iconic photo from junk food. For example, you could submit the black and white photo of Einstein sticking out his tongue, next to another photo of your best attempt to recreate that photo using various junk foods as your paints. I hope that makes sense. For some reason it sounds confusing as I type it. But you have to somehow figure out what I mean here and then do it. Best of luck.

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Item  45 - Isn’t it great to get your friends and family together for the holidays?! But it’s so hard! Sometimes all you can manage is getting everyone together for one holiday a year. But then you have to choose a holiday, and that’s so hard, too! Wait a minute... not if you decide to celebrate ALL holidays in that one night! Let’s see that night. - Inspired by Nicole Bowman

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Item 44 - Two elderly men playing chess by candlelight in front of the front row of a crowded movie theater while the film plays in the background.

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Item 43 - This video may be 25 seconds or less. Create the world’s first human piano. Get multiple people to stand in one line dressed in black and white as piano keys, with each leg a different key (two keys per person). Then “play” them: have them lift their heels several inches off the ground, and when you press down their leg they sing, hum or grunt the corresponding note (pitch perfect, please). When you remove your hand, their leg goes back up. Two or more legs down at the same time makes a chord. Play chopsticks (or another familiar ditty) more or less in tune.

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42 - Let’s see a picture of you and a friend, dressed as Jedi knights, enjoying a root beer float at the White Turkey Drive-In in Conneaut, Ohio, or at another 1950s-style dining facility. Bonus points for being served by a Sith. - L.S.

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41 - Free range, grass-fed, small farm dairy cows in Northern Vermont have it rougher than most cows: the rolling hills, the verdant pastures, the way the flickering lights of summer’s fireflies mingle with the starlight, the smell of ripening raspberries wafting into their barns. Help a heifer in these dire circumstances forget her suffering. Treat a dairy cow to the most pampered milking session in human/bovine history. A minimum of three attendants must milk the cow. One person must be feeding her clover by hand as another gently milks her wearing satin gloves as another massages her gently. The attendants must be dressed in semi-formal attire. The milking must take place in a well-appointed living room.

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39 - There's a lot of talk about how undocumented immigrants or "illegal aliens" are taking away our jobs and using public services such as hospitals and schools. But I think the real thing to worry about is actual aliens from other planets. Prove that aliens are a drain on our civic infrastructure by showing an alien from space (this costuming has to be impeccable) displacing a citizen's job or clogging up our hospitals or prisons. Caption the image with a message about the dangers of aliens draining our civic infrastructure.

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Item 25 - Let’s see a bad lip reading of a Supernatural episode in this style: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w8Z0UOXVaY - Julie Reynolds

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Item 30 (Extended) - Dub a “Beavis and Butthead” cartoon with actual audio clips from Barack Obama and Donald Trump as the voices for Beavis and Butthead respectively.

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Item 28 - (Extended) Submit your video in slow motion.You are throwing an elegant party. Show us your sophistication by decanting red wine directly into your guests’ mouths. Properly aerate the wine by pouring it from at least 2 stories above the guests. The guests, of course, must be wearing white.

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Item 17 - Give your dog a slow, massaging soap bath in a kiddie pool in a crowded pedestrian area. If it's cold out, use a large stuffed animal instead. Relaxing spa music should be playing in the background. - Tracy Liu