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indie3000

coolsaddad-blog

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

feels-for-the-fictional

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

marzipanandminutiae

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

ineptshieldmaid

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

squeeful

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

cryoverkiltmilk

last-flight-of-dickarus

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman

DYING. I AM DYING.

kiranovember

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

theshitpostcalligrapher

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

simonalkenmayer

This post has evolved.

sjcavenaugh

Talents

By Steven J. Cavenaugh

sjcavenaugh

One from the archives tonight.

crimson-uncovered

lab rat

I stood naked and blindfolded with my wrists cuffed behind my head. I could hear him moving around the room; opening and shutting a drawer, walking away from me and then stepping closer again. Then I heard the telltale snap of latex gloves adjusting around his wrists.

Suddenly his gloved hands were roaming up my sides and grasping my breasts, molesting them roughly and squeezing hard. He said nothing as he twisted my nipples, making me gasp as he pinched and rolled them between his fingers. The latex felt alien against my skin as he dragged his hand down my stomach and brought it to my pussy. He rubbed it roughly and I whimpered at the uncomfortable sensation. It wasn’t pleasurable, but my pleasure was the least of his concerns.

He released me briefly to turn me around and nudge me forward. Still blindfolded, I stumbled until my hips pushed up against the edge of a table. He attempted to bend me over it, but the wood was so cold that I didn’t want to flatten my naked body over it. He, of course, didn’t care. He pushed me down until I was flush against the cold surface. Kicking my legs apart and holding me down with a hand at my lower back, he inspected my pussy, prying my lips apart and fingering me roughly.

My sounds were the only sounds in the room. Hisses of pain, groans of pleasure, whimpers of need and vulnerability as he did what he wanted with my body. He was silent the entire time, making me feel like a lab rat, like I’d been abducted by someone who’d never seen a woman before. His hands moved over me clinically, lacking their usual care and gentleness. Despite how uncomfortable the experience was, and despite how unfamiliar and strange his gloved hands felt, I was throbbing. Wet.

It was among the most erotic things I had ever experienced.