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@sexuallyimperfect-blog
I have absolutely no motivation to do my dilators. I guess I'm in a funk at the moment. It sucks because I know I'm losing so much progress. I think it might be because I'm stressed due to school starting soon. Need motivation. Lots of it.
Sometimes I get really insecure about my relationship, like will my boyfriend ever get tired of me not being able to have sex? I don't think I will ever have a normal sex life with him. I will always need to take anxiety meds, probably insert Valium suppositories before attempting to try intercourse. It sucks because it will never be in the moment or spontaneous. That's what he wants and what I want as well. Wishing I was fucking normal right about now.
Having porn blogs follow me feels even more weird now.
Like, oh look, a blog dedicated to what I can’t do just followed me. I wish there was some way to get that to stop.
Lol, a porn blog just liked this! I can’t even!
Even though I haven't been able to try dilator 5 yet I decided to try to have intercourse with my boyfriend. He was actually able to insert himself inside me all the way. Without any pain. But we couldn't really have fun sex. It hurt when we started to move a lot but I was so happy that I was finally able to have him inside me because that hasn't been able to happen for so long now. I wanted to cry. I still have a lot of work to do. But it gave me a boost. Keep pushing forward.
Me and dilator 4 are definitely frenemies. Like I need you but I hate you at the same time. Why can't you just be easy for me 🖕🏻
Such an honest and truthful book about love and long term relationships. It explains what happens after "happily ever after." I would recommend this book to anyone. I am no longer naive (as much) when it comes to marriage and love. Great book. ❤️📖
Why do I get so much anxiety when plans change? When plans fall through it seems to ruin my whole mood. I'm feeling depressed just because of change. It's the strangest thing.
I'm getting very frustrated that I haven't been able to master the 4th dilator. It still causes a second of pain when I first start to insert it. I have been on this dilator for over a week now. When will it get better?
Halsey was fucking amazing!
I finally started on dilator 4. I've used it twice now and I definitely have a long way to go before I can use the 5th dilator. The 4th one I was able to insert but not all the way. I felt a lot of stretching and discomfort. I just have to keep doing it once a day. And hopefully it will get better.
Dilator 4
I've been avoiding switching to the fourth dilator. I have been doing the third one for over a week now and it doesn't hurt at all. But I am terrified of the 4th. It's so much larger. And I do not want to fail. I am afraid of failure. I plan on doing it tonight, I know I have to try.
So I actually think the Diazepam suppositories are helping with inserting my dilators. I just hope they can help with having sexual intercourse in the future.
When I would do my dilators I would do it everyday, and whenever my period came I wouldn't do my dilators until my period stopped. I felt it was gross to do them during that time. But I always noticed that it would be difficult the first time using the dilator again. It's like my body lost its progress and I have to start at square one every time my period ends. Does anyone else go through this or have figured out a way to avoid regressing??
My doctor also prescribed me muscle relaxing suppositories to insert in my vagina before I do my dilators and when I want to have intercourse in the future. I've used suppositories before and I didn't really feel a difference. So hopefully this type helps. I should receive them tomorrow or Friday. I'll keep you guys updated on my progress with my dilators and if the suppositories help!
