don't you mind

you have ruthlessness in your bones and ice in your heart

[27-umbrellas]

Who is this???

Wrong answers only

[septic-everlasting]

Bruce Wayne

[impossiblerebelblaze]

The only student in the fifth hogwarts house, Gun

[quietlyrebelling]

John Mulaney about to kill princess Diana

[slaughterhousefive]

Klaus Baudelaire getting tired of Count Olaf’s shit

[soracities]

who else is in the mood to walk barefoot over the moors in a blood-red velvet ballgown w anguish in ur soul and wet leaves in ur hair while the wind blows moodily and dramatically?

[toastbutteregg]

THREE MONTHS TIL 2020 I CANT BELIEVE IM ALIVE FOR THIS

[anarchetypalarchive]

sometimes i’m like “i should buy some orange juice! i love it i don’t know why i never have it in the house” and then i get some and i remember it’s because some kind of dormant Scurvy Prevention Instinct activates within me like a sleeper agent trained to seek and destroy, except it’s just me standing in front of the open fridge at two in the morning chugging juice straight out of the carton like a crazed citrus gremlin 

[toastbutteregg]

i feel so attacked right now

[anxietyproblem]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

On my flight home from Colorado I got to sit in the front exit row with all the leg room and the lady next to me had a seeing eye dog and she said on the plane he wasn't working so I was allowed to pet him as much as I wanted while he napped, and halfway through the flight he woke up and just sat like this for thirty minutes

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

She said "when you get your snacks, be careful. He is a very good service dog and well trained but snacks are his one vice."

[valtsv]

I have no relevant skills.

I am unpleasant to work with.

I like to cause problems.

[eatyoursupper]

hired

[maplebungus-deactivated20221118]

everyone interviewing for a management position

[errorschacha]

Local cable company discovered we’re gay or smt and is now slamming us w/ (approximately) targeted mailings.

[errorschacha]

We keep getting these.

[greentracksuitgohan-deactivated]

Does this count as a micro aggression

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“I confessed my most ominous secrets to the moon, I felt my dreams returning, the ocean nymphs guarded my spirit. I lived in a house made of tears.”

— Anna de Noailles, tr. by Jethro Bithell, from Poems; “House Made of Tears,”

[westwingincorrect]

toby: i hate camping. if i’m ever in the woods for three days, it means i’ve been dead for two of them.

[fashion-runways]

AURORA | SS19 Hamda Al Fahim

[terpsikeraunos]

ancient greek word of the day: κακοθερής (kakotherēs), unfitted to endure summer heat

[aphilologicalbatman-deactivated]

this literally means “bad at summer” pass it on

[notafeeling]

the trick to avoiding plotholes is to make sure there’s not enough plot to poke holes in

[the-ruler-of-rabbits]

can’t correct me on things not existing in that time period if i never specify one!

[notafeeling]

le-

lemony snicket???????

[lhzthepoet]

“Lilith was feral, brave; she had no need to be believed. Her power was catastrophe. Her heart was a blood moon.”

— Lola Ridge, from To the Many; Collected Poems of Lola Ridge; “Hellish,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[gahdamnpunk]

THE CLAP LMFAOOOO

[perks-of-being-chinese]