The Love of My Life is My College Counselor?!
Yes. The name of this post can pass as an anime title.
I know it's giving "If My Wife Becomes an Elementary School Student." (which I didn't watch yet) or "Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai" (which I DID watch and recommend), but hear me out on this one.
In this time and age where AI is everything, especially in the academically rigorous area where I live in, people seem to have dulled themselves. I don't know if this resonates for a lot of others out there, but the era seems to have thrown a big, heavy blanket over our own hearts and minds.
At one point, some of us have forgotten how to truly live. We do things because they're useful, because they get us connections, because we are supposed to do it and we've built our identity around it and without it we are nothing.
Especially for those students applying to colleges, universities, good schools, who are we really? Why does it matter? It matters because we need a job, of course. We don't want to be out in the streets. It matters because mommy said so, because daddy thinks it's good for the future. Or mommy and daddy doesn't care nearly enough and we have to become HIM/HER/THEY/IT. The one who makes it.
But THIS MAN, THIS COUNSELOR, when he talks, his aura spreads beyond my Google Meet screen. This man retains a deep interest in everything (or maybe not a deep interest according to him, but a deep interest according to ME and MY STANDARDS and MY NUMBED UP LIFE), a sense of comfort, and a 'presence'.
Reminds me of my essay prompt: "explain your presence in the classroom!"
Anyhow, when I am talking through the meeting, I can tell so blatantly, so obviously, that this guy, this AMAZING guy, is completely, utterly human. And boy are we missing that in an era full of AI.
I'm not talking about being human as in "Oh, this guy made mistakes in the past" or "oh, this guy loves imperfection/has a random quirk", although I rather like the second part.
I'm talking about human as he walks in for an essay meeting, but he seems genuinely interested in people's lives. As in he isn't here just to finish a meeting but actually takes time and FEELS IT OUT WITH YOU. He isn't playing a role— (no, i did not use AI, I just like em dashes) he's not just surviving, he's LIVING.
And the way he presents himself, or screw that—(AGAIN, NOT AI) the way he LIVES, it's so god damn genuine.
Character AI can give me a few laughs, but just sayin, this man was giggling ALONG WITH ME FOR LIKE 80% OF THE MEETING.
I don't even know..I don't even know what makes him THIS human, THIS alive, THIS refreshing. His whole composure, his whole being is like an IRL personification of Your Name, Anohana, Orange, all Miyazaki films...simple yet beautiful and beautiful because of simplicity.
Okay, maybe I MIGHT be exaggerating. But still, I stand by my words.
All I'm saying is that this man is a god, but so utterly human. (LIKE CHUUYA, for any BSD fans out there). This man is the personification of my soul. In fact, his every breath/line that he writes cuts through the fog clouded over my mind like a katana. And i think he actually has one in his house.
And before you start calling me a lunatic: no. I do not in fact ACTUALLY pursue teacher student relationships.
I merely note that in a world best illustrated by Countee Cullen's lines:
"Some lofty soul in dreams and visions wrapped, But in the stifling flesh securely trapped..."
This man is one step closer to escaping.
Cuz so many of us are trapped by a wide variety of reasons.
In my case, by college apps. For my friend, by parental expectations. In others cases: job constraints, religious constraints, social constraints, etc...
So, conclusion—no, I am not pursuing any secret illicit Rent-A-Girlfriend ahh relationships.
I am just saying that in this hazy, dreamlike world, someone this clear, this awake, deserves to be loved. <33
—SF, signing out ✌️