Call Me Bucky

People tell me I’ve redeemed myself. And somedays, I think that’s true. ( Bucky Barnes with starcityhq.tumblr.com / fc: Sebastian Stan)

[sebastians-stan]

SEBASTIAN STAN Avengers: Infinity War UK Fan Event

[sgtbbarnes107]

flcxn​:

Sam couldn’t hold back the snort that escaped him at Bucky’s choice of greeting, but the silence that lingered after was convincing enough to give him a slight edge of worry. Slight, and it lasted all but a hot second before Bucky’s next line — that was better. “Good. If you did, I’d be worried,” he quipped as the small smile returned to his expression. Of course, it all went unsaid, but Sam was glad to be back, too.

“Yeah? I’m planning on seein’ him after this,” Sam explained and stole a glance at his wristwatch. “I got a few, though, if you do.” He wasn’t even sure if Bucky wanted to catch up or if he even had the time. His plan was to get clarification on what the hell happened from Steve, but that could wait; the information wasn’t going anywhere and Sam was genuinely curious as to how Bucky was feeling, even if that concern was laced with teasing quips.

“Nobody’s managed to knock me in the head hard enough to miss you yet. I figure if they do, it’ll just kill me instead.” Again, Bucky said it all with a largely straight face. Sam was a good guy. He had to be, or Steve would’ve have trusted him the way he did. That was enough on its own to at least get Bucky to be neutral with someone. He had to put faith in that judge of character, because if he didn’t...well, Steve going to bat for him might have implications he didn’t want to have to consider. 

“I was just on my way out. No plans. There’s a place across the street,” he nodded toward the door, “if you want lousy coffee and a sandwich.” Lousy by 2021 civilian standards, anyway. 

[sebastians-stan]

I won’t let you hurt anyone. The Falcon and The Winter Soldier (2021) | The Whole World Is Watching

[cinematv]

“You think you can wake up one day and decide who you wanna be? It doesn’t work like that.”

[sgtbbarnes107]

bcstardized​:

The faint stench of the cigarettes earned a wince from the mutant. Biting back the temptation had proven grating since starting the treatment. Short and deep inhales through his nostrils encouraged him to keep himself collected, the edges of his nails tapping hard against the hardwood counter. Those burning urges left a bitter taste in the back of his throat, but he swallowed hard in resistance. 

Soon, his focus was retracted upon hearing the voice of the man a few seats down. He removed his aforementioned hand from the counter, turning his gaze towards the man addressing him. While the face wasn’t entirely unfamiliar, the scent brought back some words uttered by his former mentor. 

“Oh, it’s you,” he hummed, raising his brows in feigned astonishment. Standing from his seat, he made his way towards the other, narrowed eyes observing the other with an affirmative nod. “I’d say I’m astonished that you remembered me but these days, I’ve already built quite the reputation since I arrived. Not that that should impress you or anything.”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, only succeeding in keeping a fraction of the visible confusion off of his face. He didn’t remember him, not really. There was a nagging feeling that he knew who he was looking at, but nothing was settling in the right place. He obviously knew Bucky, though, so he granted a few more seconds to just watching him. 

It was something in the set of his jaw that finally made it click. Logan. Process of elimination. This had to be his son. Bucky went rigid immediately when he finally realized it, and what that meant. He wasn’t going to let it flood back in full sitting in that bar. He’d spent too long in therapy with Rachel all those months ago to have some kind of damn episode in public. He could keep some things behind doors, even the gruesome ones. Japan had been gruesome. That was putting it...lightly. Still, it didn’t free him of all the tension. 

“...I don’t know about any reputation,” he eventually said. 

[fockers-archive]

[chaos-hexes-deactivated20220422]

@sgtbbarnes107

[flcxn]

[ @sgtbbarnes107​ liked for a starter !! ]

It was typical that the flight would come in late, but Sam didn’t dwell on that. Instead, he was just happy to finally be in the city to catch up with everyone and see where he could help, where he fit in. First on the agenda though, was getting situated with the city’s VA before he perused his Star City contact list.

While Bucky was up there, he hadn’t been first (Steve was, but he wasn’t about to admit that), it would be his luck to find him in the dimly lit halls. Exiting? Perhaps, but Sam couldn’t say for sure. Instead, he offered his compatriot a grin when their eyes met. 

“Hope you didn’t miss me too much while I was gone.”

[sgtbbarnes107]

“Do we know each other?” Bucky kept his expression completely neutral for several long seconds - plenty of time to make it seem like he was genuinely waiting for an answer. He eventually relented just to say, “Didn’t think about you at all, actually.” But the statement came accompanied by him reaching out to squeeze Sam’s shoulder with one hand. “Steve’ll be glad you’re back.” He didn’t bother to say that he was glad, just to keep things rolling.

The truth of it, of course, was that he was only even standing in that building because of Sam. He might not have come up with volunteering at the VA on his own, but after things had got dicey with the memory retrieval it was one of the only things that had kept him feeling like he was still part of the world. The anchor wedged a little deeper all the time, fortunately, but for awhile it had been one of his few tethers. Maybe he’d admit that later. 

[theexecutionerssong]

Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield… That is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield and you threw it away like it was nothing

[sgtbbarnes107]

@fightbattlesthatmatter

[hcngman]

sgtbbarnes107​:

Bucky flexed his left hand enough for the implant to make a faint noise as the panels shifted. “Don’t give me all the credit.”

Despite the protest, he kept up with the can collection and dumped them into the open bag before gesturing that he could hang onto it. Truth be told, he’d had so many months where a simple interaction in the parking lot of a store was more than he could deal with that he was grateful to help. Not that any of that needed to be said to the man with hungry cats.

“I do. Her name’s Alpine. So,” he wrapped his hand around the top of the bag, “I think she’d probably want me to make sure your friends don’t starve. Or…no, she’s probably want me to bring this whole bag home to her instead.” He shrugged. “Cats.”

//

There was a noise as the guy flexed his arm, and Remy raised an eyebrow. “Hmm, ok. Guessin’ dere’s a li'l help dere too.” It would not surprise him if the guy had some sort of suit or something. An awful lot of people had things like that these days. He picked up some of the cans, then accepted the rest as his companion dropped them into the bag. “Much obliged, homme. Most people prob'ly jus’ woulda walked righ’ passed the fou who was carryin’ too much.”

Not a fellow cat owner, though. Remy smiled. “Alpine, huh? Bet she’s a li'l princess. I got three boys myself–Lucifer, Oliver an’ Figaro.” He chuckled as his companion took the bag, perfectly aware that any cat would love to have a bag full of food. “Oh, I bet de boys would be willin’ t’ share if dey knew it was goin’ t’ a lady. At least if dey gon’ be de gentleman dat dey should be dey would!”

[sgtbbarnes107]

“Just a little.” But he wouldn’t have left someone to struggle anyway. He was no Steve Rogers, exactly, falling over himself to help people just because they were in visual proximity, but he didn’t like to breeze by and pretend he saw nothing, either. HYDRA hadn’t kicked out all the basic human decency, as hard as they’d tried.

He hung his head and laughed. “She’s one of those ‘give an inch and take a mile’ broads. Tell them not to trust her. She’s too spoiled.” It was small price to pay for the little creature that had been his companion since he’d got to be human again, though.

[dianaofthemyscira]

Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes in The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)

[luthienne]

carl phillips, from “cortège”

[sgtbbarnes107]

chaos-hexes​:

She chewed her lip. She supposed that made sense. Other people had ruled Bucky’s mind for so long that he didn’t know anything else until he had forced himself to learn. She wondered if that was still difficult for him. It hadn’t been easy. She had been there when Steve had desperately asked her for a locator spell. She had been there when Bucky was living at Natasha’s and Steve was barely living at all. “I will treasure anything you make for me.” She meant that.

Nodding, Wanda sighed. “I was afraid of that,” she answered. “All of this,” she gestured vaguely. “It’s in me all the time. But it’s the least of my concerns. It’s… when everything begins crashing together all at once. Now, it’s become so complex that I don’t know how I’m going to get out when the time comes.” When, not if. She would eventually get out. “I don’t… want to be afraid of myself anymore. I’m powerful. I just need to get it firmly back in hand.” She shook her head before blowing out a breath. “If I can.” Leaning over, she let her shoulder rest against his for a moment before reaching up to place a daisy chain in his hair. It made her smile; she could use that right now. 

“I appreciate when you listen,” she told him quietly. It took her a long time to ask her next question because she was nervous about the answer, but eventually she managed it: “Does it ever get easier? This feeling?”

He offered her a little smile and nodded. Whether or not what he made was worth treasuring, he had no idea, but he wasn’t going to try to decide. The act of actually making the things was good for him, and when he’d been in less of a decent place than he was right then it had been a solace, too.

“You can,” he said without hesitation. He wasn’t really trying to give her a pep talk, exactly, or some rousing speech to motivate her. Someone else would probably do that. Hell, Steve might, or maybe he already had. Bucky just stated it as simply as if he were telling her that the seasons would change. Eventually it would be spring. It was inevitable. “It’s in you somewhere to fix it.”

He paused in his twisting of the flowers and let out a quiet sigh. “Yeah, it does. Not all at once, and if you’re anything like me, you might not really want to let it.” There were days, weeks, months, where Bucky felt like he deserved to feel all the terrible, confusing things that he was supposed to be getting rid of. He had to fight against that as much as the things themselves. “But yeah, it gets easier.” 

[serratedpens]

Danez Smith, “It Began Right Here”

[beyond-the-pale-deactivated2023]

seasidecave inspired by Hugh Nini and Neal Treadwell’s collection, Loving.

[sgtbbarnes107]

@fightbattlesthatmatter

[sgtbbarnes107]

chaos-hexes​:

She shook her head, looking at him with softness. Wanda loved Bucky. He was broken and sad sometimes like she was. And he was kind to her. Close to her in some ways, though not like a best friend. Did Wanda have a best friend? Hm. Not really. “You don’t have to do that,” she answered. “I’m sure you have better things to do.”

His question had her eyes dropping, her fingers stilling on her daisy chain. “I don’t know,” she answered. “But I… hurt people. I know it. I can feel that i did. When I’m like this I’m… dangerous. I can kill. I have killed.” Looking away from him, Wanda’s eyes traveled over to that cliff’s edge. Over and over she looked there. Perhaps it would be better to finally test if she’d fly. She shook her head, pushing it down. “I can’t hurt anyone else. And I’m not strong enough to fix myself. Linda Martin isn’t strong enough to fix me. My brother either. Maybe Papa can.” 

Blowing out a breath, she finally looked back at Bucky. “All my life, I’ve bucked against him. We aren’t alike. He kills on purpose. He plays God. But he survives. He’s stronger than me. Maybe he can teach me how to do it too. I’ve never listened to him talk. Never let him be my father the way he knows how to be–if he knows at all.” She let her shoulders sag. “But he promised he’d come back. He said he’d help me.” She needed him to help her. She needed someone strong enough to.

“I spent plenty of time doing things I didn’t want to be doing,” he shrugged. “So I don’t really bother anymore.” If he was working on something, it was because that’s what he wanted to be working on. He had that freedom and that ability, most of the time. It was still a novelty to even be able to make something for his friends and to even have friends outside of Steve. Wanda wasn’t some kind of burden.

Bucky looked down at the flowers and pulled a few others to twist together, adjusting where the blossoms were as he went along. “Yeah. I know how that goes.” It wasn’t like he hadn’t done something very similar, deciding to remove himself (more than once) when the alternative felt unsafe for everyone. “Don’t take this the wrong way,” he said after a stretch of silence, “but I don’t really think there’s a fix. Not like a flipped switch or anything. You just...” he lifted one shoulder in a little shrug, “get some distance and clarity, I guess.” Not that their situations were identical and he did know that. Nothing was ever going to be a 1-to-1 comparison, especially not with abilities like Wanda’s. 

He didn’t really know that much about Wanda’s father, beyond the sort of things that everyone knew. Even then, it’s not like he’d really made it his business to know the ins and outs of what Magneto had done. Unless he had a reason to, unless for whatever reason he found himself on the side opposite him, it seemed like the kind of thing best left alone. “I hope he can.” 

[soracities]

Sophocles, Elektra (trans. Anne Carson)

[annawintcur]

@grrlhoods

[fightbattlesthatmatter]

@sgtbbarnes107

[sgtbbarnes107]

bcstardized​:

The bar he frequented wasn’t as busy as he anticipated. Hands tucked into his pockets, he approached without a moment’s hesitation. A familiar silhouette in the distance encouraged him to sit a few seats to the left. The bartender approached him, eliciting a wink on Daken’s end.

“You know what I want, sweetie. Don’t keep me waiting.”

The bartender nodded affirmatively, clearing his throat before stepping away to prepare the drink. In the meantime, Daken’s right hand reached the counter, painted black nails drumming against the smooth surface. Dark brown eyes flickered to his right. His left hand tucked underneath his chin, a hushed chuckle falling past his lips. 

Since arriving in Star City, Bucky hadn’t exactly worked on expanding his circle. Even Foggy, he’d met in New York, and if it hadn’t been for his trial he probably would’ve never crossed paths with or spoken to him. That hardly counted. He was years past all of that, though, and trying to work his way to something less...withdrawn. Something closer to the Bucky Barnes that had existed before HYDRA. That man could never truly returned, but the more he remembered of him, the harder he tried to reach for it. So, he did his best to push the paranoia down, to swallow the urge to leave his drink virtually untouched and step out of the bar altogether. 

Instead, he forced his hand to relax and turned his head just enough to the side to get a better look at who’d just sat down. He didn’t recognize him, not even with an appearance that distinct. Still, there was something in the air. Bucky had lived long enough with massive gaps in his memory to be hyper familiar with the feeling of something being just out of his grasp.

“We know each other?” he finally asked loudly enough to make sure it was obvious who he spoke to. If the answer was no, then it’d be a simple thing to brush off. For the other man, anyway.