When I hit my head
on the door in 4th grade,
they asked me,
‘on a scale of one to ten,
How much does it hurt?’
I said 9, because the pain
was sharp, and it hurt like
hell, but it wasn’t hell;
I knew the pain would fade.
In fifth grade, I moved,
and I knew I’d never see my
best friend again.
My parents asked me,
‘is it unbearable?’
I solemnly answered ‘no’,
because even though
it felt like there was a nail
in my heart, and someone
had just taken a hammer
and hit it, my heart was only
cracked. It wasn’t shattered.
I knew that it would be whole
once again. In the 9th grade,
I felt like I had lost everyone.
The family I grew up with,
wanted nothing to do with me.
My friends asked me ‘are you okay?’
I answered ‘yes’. And they might
have believed it to be a lie, but
it wasn’t. Because I may have
lost the people that I once
cherished the most, but that
was the past, and they are no
longer the ones I call family.
I knew I would move on, and
find closure with time. Today,
it has been a week since I
started crying for you every night.
I’m waiting for someone to ask
'on a scale of one to ten, how much
does it hurt?’, because I’ll say 10.
I’ll say 10 because I have never
missed someone even when
they were right there beside me.
Because I have never felt overwhelmed
with fear when I hugged
someone goodbye. This isn’t like hell,
it is hell, and this isn’t another crack
that I can just mend,
my heart is shattered.
Because you are now the one
that I love the most and losing you
is something that would take
an eternity to get over.
So when they asked me
all those times before, and when
they ask me again, it wont
be a 10. It won’t be unbearable.
Because no pain that I have ever,
or will ever endure, could begin to
compare to this pain. The
pain that comes with the feeling
of losing you, and crying
for you every night because
you’re not there. This crippling
and torturous pain of missing you.
That is a 10.
areudirty
ellievsbear
yousharknotpass
