Voice of the Shadows

Shadesiren student at Grace Academy Paragon City

[shadie-dealing]

Hanging out at Oasis.. and in the Blanket Fort!

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Some more reposting from the past..

(approximately age 9.. translated from memory)

... Momma is scared I think. She says we haffa be real quiet. I saw her go all still and funny.. the men that stared at us..

I have to leave school again. Miss Darcy was nice. She said my drawings are special.. but I won't get to see her anymore. Mom says we have to go back to Paragon. The islands aren't safe anymore... again.

I'm so tired of always moving.. I wish I had time to make friends. I don't want Momma to feel bad. I know she's trying to take care of me. I'm selfish.. I just want to go to the same school for more than year at a time.. I want to make friends..

I want to go to a slumber party.. They sound SO fun. You all sleep at one person's house, in like sleeping bags, but for fun, not cuz there's not a real bed. You stay up late, and eat pizza and cookies and drink lots of soda and watch movies. There's special games you play, like truth or dare.

I'm kinda scared of it.. but it also sounds really fun. I guess sometimes, they bully someone. I can't go to one.. cuz that'd be me. All the pretty pink girls would pick on me.. like they always do. I can't even be like.. pretty BROWN.. I'm just ugly grey.

I don't mean it.. not really. Momma would be so mad to hear that.. I like my skin.. it's pretty. Dark grey like the sky.

If I put glitter on.. I look like outer space..

It's so pretty..

But they don't think so. They think I'm ugly and weird.

Momma says my wings are beautiful. I like them. i can FLY with them!! They are small but strong.. like they feel special.. and my tail.. I love my tail.. it's part of me.. and Momma loves them. She says I'm lucky. Most people don't get extra parts that make them special.

I try SO hard to believe her. The other kids don't seem to think so.. they say I'm ugly.. a freak..only animals have wings or tails.. so My dad must be an animal.

I don't think that's true. Momma gets quiet and sad when I ask.. I don't ask anymore. She goes all quiet, and stares off into nothing.. remembering him. She.. really loved him. I know that. It's how she loves me.. I'm part of him. And he's gone. Momma loved him.. and I'm all that's left of him.

She never makes me feel like.. bad about it. I'm lucky. He was.. special, somehow. She thought so. And I am part of that.. and part of her. When I ask, she always talks about how I'm.. like.. her and him, in one person. And that's special.

I don't feel special like that, but I want to. I wish I knew more about him. What he was.. but Momma gets so sad.. SO sad.. I can't ask her any more.. I know it hurts her... that she wants me to know, but she can't tell me yet.

I can't wait to know. I bet he was.. amazing...

[shadie-dealing]

Omg I had the best night!!!!

I meet Jericho, Kyle and Don. More students, mostly. Kyle had been doing home school, but Ruby and I gonna convince him to come back to school.

It was so fun!

Apocalypse smoothies FTW!!

Ruby is so good at getting us together. I've had so much fun meeting the other kids, and getting to know them a little. I keep getting more and more excited about classes.

I met with Mr. Solomon, who tested me for magical aptitude. It turns out I'm able to use it!! I'm so excited to start learning actual magic!!

He showed me a vision of myself.. from the future. I called him grandfather...

I never knew Momma's parents. I think I asked.. ages ago. But she said they died and was very sad, so I never heard the whole story. I would have asked Aunt Pearl, but she was never.. chatty. I only know they are dead. Dad's mom and dad.. wow. I don't even know Dad.. so I have no clue.

Anyway, he said I could call him Grandfather outside of class, and I guess he's kind of semi-adopted me—as part of the school, of course. But he's taking an interest in me and encouraging me to be myself and not be afraid of who I am. It's scary in all the best ways.

Plus.. he has a big grey beard, and I need to make him some Nuclear Sludge Cookies..!

I can't believe how much my life changed, in just a week..

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It's that me?!? Nah... But I like it.

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Omg...

I went to the Funplex, played Minigolf!!

Ruby set it all up. Seth, Eclipsa, Mo and her fellow fish??person Ni'hele, Anna ( WHO WON!!!), and Ember were there.

Ember came in last, so she had to play truth or dare with Anna, and Anna dated her to cook for us.

I'm scared. She kept talking about peppers.

I think I might have friends?!?!

Played DDR with Ruby and won, just barely. She says there's one at school, so I'm looking forward to a rematch!

[shadie-dealing]

This was from just after I moved into Aunt Parl's house:

She gave me half the attic. It sounds like a LOT more than it is. Cousin Lilly has the other half, and you can't even stand up straight in here. I've got a foam mattress on the floor, and a night stand. Lily out up a blanket curtain.... She's mad. This was her "OWN ROOM", and my being here had screwed that up for her.

Cousin Birch (don't call him bitch, he's twice my size), had to share with Rowan. Birch is 15, Rowan's only 8. Lily used to have to share the other kid's room with her sisters, Rose and Daisy...

God my family sucks at names!!!!!

What even IS Jessamy... You saying Jasmine and got a stutter? Whatever. Everyone calls me Shade anyway, cuz of my skin and my name. Kinda funny, that being Momma's last name, but only half'a mine. She never did explain all that, and Aunt Pearl clams up like a professional spy if you being it up.

I don't think anyone but Momma could make her say... Or.. geezuss... maybe Momma told her never to tell. That gives me goose bumps in bad ways. Momma was good to me, but it's scary to think about what she could have done. The world doesn't know how lucky it is she's a good guy...

Pearl and Ron are fighting. I haven't been here very long, but I think this might be kinda... Geeze. Note to self: WEAR SHOES. Otherwise gonna be picking glass outta ma feet later. Anyway. I think they fight a lot. That's sad. The cousins are all grumpy and scared all the time... Why would Momma bring me here?!?!

I gotta sleep. I start at the cousins' school tomorrow. I'm scared to go. The cousins aren't nice. I know it's cuz they're unhappy, but they don't have to be mean to me. I'm scared the other kids are gonna be mean. I got my gloves, long sleeved shirt, hoody, jeans, boots, I even got a face mask, like I'm worried about gems or something. With my hair and hood maybe kids won't notice so much. The wings and tail I can kinda keep low key, but it's hard. Not comfortable. Ugh.

Like, I'm still grateful for Mom not letting them chop me up... But I also kind of wish I didn't have them sometimes.

[shadie-dealing]

This might get weird. I have to repost the stuff from the old blog. It got effed up, but I got copies.

That was intense. I'm a good way, surprisingly. Although I might be one teacher's radar as a possible troublemaker, oops I really was only joking. Is never try to hurt a fellow student. Not unless they hurt me first, and I certainly hope that doesn't happen. This seems like the kinda school where that might not happen...

Everyone I met was super nice. Ruby, Adrian, Anna, Eclipse, Seth, Will, (who changes into different people every few minutes, so crazy!)... I'm forgetting people. I don't mean to. It was a lot to take in. I'm gonna get lost so many times. On the plus side, I kept finding myself in the food court. Between that and the literally hundreds of kitchens, cafeteria and snack bars, I won't starve to death if I do get lost LOL!!!

Took a pic, feel silly...