Shady's diary

Just feelings.

[shadyarian]

Intro

will make cute later

20+!

very mentally ill

bpd rules most of my life; ed and sh less present lately

anyone feel free to interact.

age, name, location: don't ask

i don't think i'm a safe person. i'm also not safe myself

Will block people I dislike, feel free to block me if you don't like me

[needysyndrome]

Me: I want attention

Also me when I get said attention:

[shadyarian]

i need someone to teach me how to make a cute intro to pin :'(

[shadyarian]

I put the cut in cute💜

[shadyarian]

If Nikki can keep going, so can I

Nikki has Momo

I have my roommate

[sweetbuniiiii]

jiraiblog is a secturm cus wydm 1 moot is actively trying to kill themselves and the other is genuinely cute hearts and art into their thigh?????

[shadyarian]

it's been a while

It's been a long while since it's been this bad

Right now I'm going through what I'll describe as a never ending panic attack. It's a mix of extreme stress and anxiety and a bad psycothic episode

I've been like this for over 2 days, i can't sleep, I can't think, I can't do anything

It started because I realised that I might have to lower my head, sell my soul to the abuse, and go back to my parents

Things have been way too hard, and I have been pushing myself in any way I can, but I haven't got paid from my job in over a year, and recently they told me that I won't be getting paid until february at least

I did all I could

I tried so hard

I can't go back

But I want to live, and I can't live like this

But I can't live there either

There's no way out, no options left

Not even death is an option

All I can do is take it. Suffer the pain. Sit there and dissociate until I burn away the valuable little time I have left

A second feels like a minute. An hour feels like a day. A day goes by like a second.

[vampyre-kin]

[sadisticsybil]

I mourn everyone who has lost their lives due to the effects of their BPD. I wish people genuinely realized just how bad a mental condition it is to live with.

[jirai-in-heavy-syrup]

[shadyarian]

That's why this year I won't hold back anymore

Let people handle the real me, I'm going all out!

(My only rule is to not get in big trouble with the law)

[sad-gay-loser]

Inside you there are two wolves…

[donyalelunaaslore]

[pake-qr]

[shadyarian]

First post.

Let's see what comes