[catsolari]

Domestic boys!!

Bonus points if you know the oil they use 👀

[thisfeebleheart]

I have this problem...

[dirtypuzzlewrites]

i actually have so much to say about shane and food, and how in general, shane is a perfect example of why the functioning model primarily used is psychology is so inadequate when applied to autistic people. i think shane has a pretty gnarly relationship to food, but i don’t think it meets any ED criteria without some exaggeration. mostly bc shane is fully functioning and not losing any weight and he’s a pro athlete.

“so when i do it, it’s an ED but when a pro athlete does it, it’s good and fine and normal—” yes exactly, that’s the whole thing, right? what we consider abnormal or inherently patholoical behavior/experiences are constructed. stars are real, but constelltions aren’t, right. we could interrogate why the mild depersonalization of your own body and wonky relationship to personhood/food is basically required to become a pro athlete, and what it says about our society that this is consider de facto okay, but like. that is not what most shane ED fics are digging into.

shane’s whole Thing is that he Functions. he functions at all costs. he will cognitively amputate anything that threatens his ability to function. this is not gonna get a psych doc in your business, you feel? i think shane would have a hell of a time finding a therapist, and CBT would be an hour of useless frustration.

this is why “distress is disorder” is the model many disability activists are pushing bc functioning misses so many ppl who are suffering but who function. (and obv many ppl will eventually slide into dysfuction after long enough.)

anyway i’m exploring all this in a fic rn so. ig if anyone’s interested in that, keep an eye out!

[trippedlaces]

So anyway, let’s talk about what happens when Shane finds out that Wiebe is bisexual. 

Because during The Long Game, Ilya decides not to tell Shane because it’s not his secret to tell, and Shane has to find out eventually, right? Wiebe says something like “I’m sure Ilya has told you that I understand a little bit about your situation.” And Shane is thinking like, what, you definitely don’t, you were a mid player at your absolute best. But eventually Wiebe gets the point across and it goes, I think, one of a couple different ways:

One: Shane HATES this information and tries to memory hole it immediately. Shane has had a complicated psychosexual attachment to every hockey coach he’s ever had, which is fine because hockey coaches are straighter than God. Even though both Shane and Wiebe are in happily married monogamous relationships, finding out that it’s actually hypothetically possible for a coach to experience reciprocal attraction to him is the worst thing that’s ever happened.

Two: Finding out that Wiebe is bisexual pushes Shane over the edge into having a meta-textual breakdown. Shane: “It’s fucking ridiculous. It’s absurd! We’re already the gayest team in the league. The gay married team. And now we have a gay coach?” Ilya: “Lubimiy, he is bisexual, do not make me ask Harris to give another PowerPoint presentation on bisexual erasure.”

Three: Shane pours over stats from Detroit’s 2001 season and figures out who Wiebe’s teammate was in less than 60 minutes. 

[cliff-marleaus-left-toe]

Another option would seriously fuck Shane up bc it would remind him of how easy it was to fail and how close he and Ilya came to failing and how the system is set up to fail anyone who happens to be in a similar situation and how they still prevailed.

[bipolyjack]

"she would have loved you. like i love you" rly took me out at the knees gang

[littlespoonevan]

we need to circle back to 'he's gonna worry'. like. shane has spent all of the previous episodes confusedtentativepanickedunsure bc he's trying to follow ilya's lead and he's convinced he's not allowed to have more than he has bc he thinks ilya sees it as just sex but now he's concussed and in pain and he has no idea what's going on and, yes, tampa and its aftermath have happened but there's still something so !!!!!!!!!!!!!! about how certain he is that ilya will be worried and so someone needs to tell him shane is okay bc shane doesn't want ilya to worry or to be scared bc he knows ilya cares about him. and it's like. shane doesn't know ilya has said i love you at this point but he still Knows, y'know???? and it's kind of wonderful honestly bc it happens so often in these kinds of stories that even when characters are in the 'we're going to try' stage they still doubt the other person a little, convinced they can't possibly feel the same way, but shane doesn't doubt ilya at all. he knows. so can someone please go tell ilya he's okay, he's gonna worry 🥹

[just-a-red-been-bread]

Я люблю тебя

[shanehollandered]

ilya + his very judgemental eyebrows

[duckduckhonk]

secretly the funniest guy

[userilyarozanov]

-Are you gonna fuck me? -We will see. HEATED RIVALRY (2025 - ) ▸1x02, olympians

[madamoisellemabry]

i do think there’s a world where ilya tells cliff marleau about the friendship plan and cliff is like “well if ur cover story is friendship than we need to make ur reputation with friends super gay king” and ilya is like “bro … you would do that … for us …” and cliff is like “no worries big dawg”. because like, hollander doesn’t do the gay for the homies thing naturally, but if roz has a reputation, it won’t be weird if he does it in public even if hollsy doesn’t reciprocate. cliff is a genius.

anyway, that’s how the internet spends a year speculating that ilya rozanov and cliff marleau have explored each others bodies. they are so all over each other and constantly tweeting gay shit about each other that ilya’s time with shane barely even gets a second glance. the first time ilya drags shane out to meet cliff, a photo gets posted on twitter and everyone is like “poor shane having to third wheel these two #ally”.

obviously shane is gnawing on furniture because he’s so jealous, but the plan does work. and when they get outed, cliff works it into his best man speech.

[allesfresser]

Snuggle bugs 🐞

[aslongasitsblack]

​a man who has never denied himself anything meets a man who denies himself everything and the hedonist tries to lure the self-abnegator into succumbing to the pleasures of the flesh and succeeds but their rendezvous makes accidentally clear that true pleasure is derived from the perilous destructive nature of intimate connection and eventually true actual love and so we come to conclude that in fact the hedonist is the one who has never allowed himself anything true while the self-abnegator has never strayed from the path of his want and then they put them on ice skates and gave them sticks

[vogeley]

X

subtlety isn't one of shane's strong suits

[themoonandmyman]

In fairness to him his entire brain melted out of his ass the second he got a good look at the Chrysler building Ilya’s packing

[russianblush]

mr. uh.....landlord

[imgonnaeditstuff]

What a comeback story this year for Ilya Rozanov. The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs, leading his team in blocked shots and shots against.

ilya proving his dad wrong

[ismickeyadopted]

ilya and marly drunk in boston going around adding googly eyes to city ads with faces on them

[ismickeyadopted]

boston the next day