This could be long. Especially because so much has happened. Did you ever fall in love with a man who you never intended to fall for? Same. 2 nights and 1 day. Unforgettable. I swore to myself I won’t write about boys, men, or love? But this story had to be said. Majorly because no soul is going to read this, but me. I am probably in my late 40s with a happy family ( or so I hope), curious about my young adult life and living vicariously through these posts. (You doing good, honey?) Here goes the story of the best date I’ve ever experienced. We meet outside a cute gift store. Not the fancy kind where lights are bright and it takes a long walk to another shelf, but the kind that is small, cozy and weirdly brings comfort. I remember I entered because that’s the spot we were supposed to meet and he, like any other date, was late. Ping! the notification rings and I hope it’s him. It was. He did not want me to google the place he was taking me to. In his words he did not want “my cute ass to Zomato it”. “Shay?”, I turn, IT’S HIM! Just like in the pictures, white shirt with messy hair. We head to a cute café, and choose the coziest corner. I truly don’t remember what we spoke about or maybe I don’t want to recall all that information. While leaving, he noticed the members in that society were playing Housie. We played, I won. I looked at him as if he was my prize for the night. The greatest prize of all kind. Handsome, sweet, confident and social. We walked the empty boulevards as if we owned them. I think we held hands? Can’t be sure. We took an auto to one of the nightclubs. I kept fixing my hair. They were all over the place and as much as I’d want to pay attention to what he was saying, I tried to look my best. I make myself comfortable on one of those rooftop high chairs. That’s when he pulls me closer, leaving no space between us. We later shifted to another table where we had the most naked conversation. That’s where we both opened up to each other and trusted each other. He lost someone close to him a few months back to breast cancer ( I assume it’s his girlfriend and so, chose to probe no further. It could only bring more hurt). The intense conversation begins to get lighter with every sip of LIIT. I felt happy and had, for the lack of better words, tingles in my stomach. We danced on every floor! Once the song changed, we’d rush to the other floor. He carried my purse like it’s my long gown. I think to myself, “What a gentleman”. In the Uber I murmured how that was the best date night of my life. I think he mistook that compliment as a challenge. He took me to his favorite karaoke club where he introduced me to his friends as if I were someone important to him. But then again, I thought to myself “These friends must meet his new dates every night. I’m just one of his dates”. Strangely, that thought pricked me. How I couldn’t be the only one and how there must be many more woman throwing themselves at him. We went over to his friend’s later and the rest is kind of obvious. The second date I chose to plan it for us. “SHIT! Do I like him? Do I like a guy I met just for a few hours? That has never happened in the past 4 years. WHY NOW? WHY HIM?” Casually ignoring all the red signs, I chose to voluntarily jump and fall. Fall in the pit where people cry nights in a row over losing someone or doubting their self-worth and crying over how they will never find a person like XYZ. I picked him up form his place and reached the cat café. We sat there naming cats as if they were ours to own. I choked on my hot chocolate and he rubbed my back. It’s really these small things that attract me to someone. Thanks for your consideration and thanks for the gesture! I had the entire evening planned out. We went to the next room where there was an open mic ( mainly stand up comedians). They picked on us and I won’t lie, I loved being picked on with him. The awkward smiles, his glaring eyes and turning our face towards each other every time a joke cracked us up. What I remember vividly is the night that followed. The songs he sang and how terribly I messed up the lyrics to 21 Guns. How cutely we sang ‘Hey Jude’ where he whispered to me“ you saved this song”. I remember how you made a classic ‘Peter Kavinsky’ move on me by slyly placing your hands in my back jean’s pocket. But what I remember the most is how excruciating the pain was to see someone else’s teeth marks on your chest and back. That’s not cheating and I shouldn't be mad but I was. Not at you, but me. How could I be SO stupid? and how did I let myself believe even for a second that we had something. It’s been 3 months since I last saw you. I am not hurting anymore. In fact, the hurt washed away after the third night of non-stop pain, anger and tears. I can never have you and that’s alright but I hope to have these nights where I can feel so alive again. Thank you for giving me those nights (though it was for a brief moment) and thank you for making me wild. I know I’ll look back at these days and still cherish the 15 long hours we shared in a span of 3 days. I am not writing this because I miss you ( I don’t think I do). I am writing because I was triggered and had to gasp some air before I learnt how to breath again. I hope you are doing good. Also, 40 something Shay, in case you’re wondering why I decided to suddenly write about him? It’s because a guy in one of the series wore a white shirt and had messy hair. Yes, that’s your trigger. Be well.
