My Happiness Project

Over the past couple months I've realized I'm a lot less happy than I used to be, I've been struggling to make myself happier. This blog is going to record my journey as I find the things that make me happy and discover myself. I hope you can join me in this journey and support me in mine :) Good luck on your journey!

[shanzayshappinessproject]

A walk a day :) happy 10 days!

[shanzayshappinessproject]

"I feel infinite....because that song was reat and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a way" -Perks of Being A Wallflower (33)

  After watching that sunset today I want the rest of my life to be like this. I feel like that moment today is so relevant to this quote and I hope that my lifetime is filled with infinite moments.

[shanzayshappinessproject]

"Life isn't just about school. It's time to do things that will make ME happy." Is my new mantra

[shanzayshappinessproject]

Day 3

I just watched the most breathtaking sunset today I have ever seen and I was literally on the verge of tears because I was so taken aback by its beauty. And it made me so sad and so happy at the same time because it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen and I felt kind of sad because this view...while I've always appreciated it...I never knew its true beauty till I watched the sunset today and I felt sad because its literally always been down the street from me and I've never before taken the time out of my day to come on a school night to come down the street and just be alone with nature for like half an hour and if I hadn't made the conscious decision to walk down there and watch the sunset and have a happiness project I could have gone my whole life not seeing this amazing sunset...and I don't know how to explain that but it really bothers me well I don't know if bother is the right word but like it really made me think like I've lived here for like 9 years now almost and I've never enjoyed a sunset here before? Like I've just spent my whole life or at least these last couple years so wrapped up in school and homework and stress and my life to take time out just like 30 min out of the whole day to go down there and enjoy myself

I sat there for like half an hour and I just watched the sunset and I sat there and I thought and I thought and I was all alone with my thoughts and my music and the view and the birds and it was just so peaceful and beautiful like I just can't even explain it

I have lived my whole life in this bubble and now I'm finally setting myself free from it and suddenly everything seems so new and so interesting

and I really feel like this project is working because I came back on my walk and I ran through the sprinklers and smiled and laughing and spun around and I had the biggest smile on my face

and I just feel like that sunset changed me...I don't know how or why and if it'll last forever but I know that that sunset has changed me at least for today

and if I take like 30 min every day to just like walk and see the sunset I feel like I'll be the happiest girl in the world with just those actions

I've been so worried all day about classes and what to take next year and stuff and for the beginning half of that sunset I just forgot about my problems

and then I thought....you know what...right now you think that taking brit lit is what'll make you happy so take that, even if your decision changes and you don't want to in the summer then you can just change it like nothing is forever, no decision is going to make or break you

I just need to do what makes me happy right now and if it changes it changes but at least I can take the class I wanted to take

Life is so short I need to start seeing the glass half full and just make decisions that I feel will make me happy because I can always change my decision but I'll never regret something that made me happy at that moment

And then I walked into the sunset to go home

and I was so happy, I need to just start walking into the sunset to my perfect happy ending from now on and screw people saying its hard to be happy because I'm literally so peaceful and happy right now

SO I'm done

Thanks for listening

Sorry for the super long philisophical rant I just gave you where you went on a journey in my mind

[shanzayshappinessproject]

Identify My Aims: the First Splendid Truths

The first step to the Happiness Project was to answer these questions:

"What makes you feel good? What gives you joy, energy, fun?

What makes you feel bad? What brings you anger, guilt, boredom, dread?

What makes you feel right? What values do you want your life to reflect?

How can you build an atmosphere of growth—where you learn, explore, build, teach, help?"

  So here goes...my attempt at answering these questions (the answers will probably change over the next couple months)

  1. What makes you feel good? What gives you joy, energy, fun?

Spending quality time with my family, friends, getting a good night's sleep, having fun, letting go, forgiving people, enjoying the moment, the sun on my face, sitting alone and quietly to think, reading, writing, thinking, talking, music, relaxing, being outside, exercising, going to the beach, hanging out with my best friend, laying in bed and enjoying my room, smiling, laughing, traveling, making other people smile, knowing that someone understands what I'm feeling, and spending the day doing nothing

  2. What makes you feel bad? What brings you anger, guilt, boredom, and dread?

Not getting enough sleep, waking up in the morning with a bad attitude, being insulted, SATs, college, being late to places/things, being mean to other people, getting asked stupid questions, not exercising, not getting time to do the things I want to do, not being able to make my own big decisions, being unhappy, being scolded/lectured, getting told I'm not ____ enough or don't do _____, making other people disappointed, being a bad daughter/sister/friend, mean things that make me defensive and start fights, all my friends who are amazingly smart, my low self esteem, my burn's scar, all my fears (fire, blood, shots, etc.), not knowing my future and what I want to do with it, not feeling in control, being overwhelmed, feeling stressed out, crying (I cry way to much), breakdowns, not understanding myself, bad grades, feeling stupid, not feeling good enough, wasting away my life/my future, not doing what I want to do with my life in the short time I have it, classes that don’t excite me, when I can’t do/understand something (like Spanish), vague timeline, feeling alienated, setting goals and giving up, having people that don't understand what I'm trying to say

  3. What makes you feel right? What values do you want your life to reflect?

Accepting myself, my strengths, and weaknesses; being happy with my life even if it isn't completely perfect, a better way of dealing with stress, kindness, patience, positivity, quietness (thinking before I speak), mindfulness, a stronger faith, compassion, appreciation, service to others, finishing through with something, passion, higher self esteem, organization, the ability to have fun and enjoy, better relationship with my family, adventurous life, a good career, happiness in school, cleanliness, and conquering my fears, experiencing music with my whole person, people who have similar values, a life to be filled with art and working towards justice, to be surrounded by art and music and inspiration and people who understand that, to live places where I can walk out of my door and go places, to learn constantly and expand,find careers that make me passionate about what I’m doing, and that help people, to see the positive effects we can have on each other.

  5. How can you build an atmosphere of growth—where you learn, explore, build, teach, help?

I need to learn to balance school life and everything else in my life since all I do with my life is study and work. Unless I make time for all this stuff by finishing my homework quicker/spending less time on the internet I won't be able to work on my happiness project. I need to make a calendar and have concrete goals for every day/week because I'm the kind of person who needs to see immediate goals being accomplished. It helps me a lot when other people are doing it with me because it reminds me to keep doing it and I get help when I need it since I'm really bad at committing with things. I start loads of stuff and I never finish. Keep this whole process physically in front of me to keep through with it.

BTW thanks for ifloveisnotenough for helping me with this stuff since I lot of these answers are hers <3

[shanzayshappinessproject]

A Little Bit About Myself

In this past couple months I've been drowning under SATs, college, homework, school, lack of sleep, and stress and as soon as 2013 started so did periodic crying sessions about my unhappiness with life. I don't know how I realized it or when I did but at some point I realized that I wasn't happy with my lifestyle, I'm not happy with how I'm spending my teenage years and just life in general. I'm not happy with the fact that all I do it study and work and I don't take out enough time to enjoy these precious years of life. 

My parents have noticed my unhappiness too and are now pushing me to do two years in community college and then transfer into a traditional 4 year college so I can enjoy these last years of high school, but considering I go to a college prep school, have really high achieving friends who look down on community college, and have always wanted to go to an amazing four year college...I'm having the hardest time deciding between the two.

Therefore, to be honest a part of this project is to become happier and less stressed out so that I can get in a place where I wouldn't have to go to community college to remain sane. Or maybe this project is so that I can get rid of peer pressure and figure out if the community college route is for me. 

Another problem in my life is that I have insomnia and sleep apnea so I hardly ever get a good night's rest and while that may not sound like a big deal to anyone else, getting a good night's rest literally makes all the difference. My happiness level in a day directly correlates to how well my  sleep was the night before. Therefore, a huge part of this process is going to be working on my sleeping problems and figuring out how to get good night's rests.

Basically, I started reading a book today called the Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin, and it's inspired me to start my own Happiness Project. I really, really hope I can actually keep through with it and work on it through the next year since I'm really bad at staying committed to something. But I'm doing it with other people and therefore I hope to stick through with it. Thanks for coming along with me on this journey!