i want to be the sex president

del ♒ she/they? ✨ 16

[sharkbabie-blog]

i stopped using tumblr as often and my life has seriously improved drastically. please you may not think so but try finding another social media to use to help you get off tumblr and it really helps like my mental health is a lot better, even if my circumstances are practically the same as before. ive been on twitter using it mostly just to communicate with people i enjoy and its so much better than all the drama and negativity that spreads here. even just try and make a new account somewhere that you already have one for a fresh start. i seriously feel so good having done this even if it was sorta unintentional ive reblogged like only a few things in the last two months or so. if you wanna talk to me still follow my twitter or instagram @ tallghosts, im not gonna delete my tumblr or anything i have lots of valuable tags or memories but i doubt ill check it often for new stuff. peace i guess ✌✌

[sharkbabie-blog]

PSAT: Please do not make any internet posts.

Teenagers: lol wild

[thingstolovefor]

A white woman is called artsy when she’s naked, but black women are called skimpy when they’re covered. Double standards. #Hate it!

[g0ds-favorite]

[actualdogvines]

[runwayandbeauty]

Paolo Sebastian Haute Couture Fall/Winter 2016-17.

[setheverman]

don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page

[marxistbarbie-deactivated202109]

[melgillman]

Here’s the full 24 hour comic I drew yesterday, called “The Fish Wife”.  Thank you to everybody who followed along on twitter and cheered me on <3

[fadedfemales]

I could really go for a sweet text about how much I’m worth to somebody

[babyanimalgifs]

[rosy-roads]

[average-smoothie-enjoyer]

I get it, Hillary wasn’t my first choice either. But if you’re a former Bernie supporter who’s planning to vote for Trump just to “get back at the system” or whatever, I think it’s pretty safe to say that you are extremely privileged, and that you don’t have the rest of us in mind. A Trump win won’t just put him in office, it’ll embolden bigots of every kind. And you won’t suffer the way women will suffer if he wins. You won’t suffer the way queer people will suffer. You won’t suffer the way anyone who isn’t white will suffer.

So if you want to vote for Trump, go for it. But know that you’re fucking the rest of us over for your party games, and if I ever see any of you DARE to claim to be an “ally” of any kind of marginalized group ever again, we’re gonna have some fuckin problems.

[dntgetmad]

I had to post this whole thread because this is the definition of a wholesome post. 😭😂💕🔑

[americadivided-deactivated20170]

This is beyond cute and innocent. I love it 😭

[barelyfittingin]

My guy 💪

[mashallahsis-blog]

This is so cute I love it

[fuck-customers]

Allergic to Cilantro

So I used to work for a Mexican fast food chain famous for their huge burritos and bowls. My store was right across the street from one of the largest universities in the area so you can imagine how busy we get. During the lunch rush our line goes out the door and wraps around the block but we’re used to it so people get served within about 5 minutes of waiting. We get lots of students and faculty that work on campus during the lunch rush. The students are usually fine and super courteous since they most likely have had jobs like this too. It’s the faculty that usually give everyone problems. 

Anyway it was during one of these lunch rushes and this one middle aged man comes up to the line and says he is allergic to cilantro. Okay cool, we can take care of that. So whenever a customer has a food allergy only one person on the line can make the customer’s food, they have to change their gloves and wash their hands to avoid contaminating it. So I hop out of line, wash my hands and change gloves. The rice has cilantro in it so I go back to the kitchen and get plain rice and start to assemble his burrito. Things go smoothly until he chooses his salsas. Every salsa has cilantro in it and this guy decides he wants pico de gallo which you guessed it, has cilantro. So I have to go back into the kitchen because he really wants it and have one of the prep guys dice me a tomato really fast. Then when he has everything he wants and I’m about the roll the burrito he stops me and says “Hey there’s a teeny piece of cilantro about to touch the tortilla, I don’t want that touching my food.” (It’s pretty normal for little pieces of cilantro to be on the line because everything has some in it and it’s super busy so wiping the line down isn’t always possible every 5 minutes.) So I wipe the cilantro off the line with a napkin. He then tells me to change my gloves again because they touched the teeniest bit of cilantro. Okay fine, I don’t want to kill you I get it. Change gloves again, roll the damn burrito. 

It’s now been at least 5 minutes because of all the special requests and this guy should’ve been through my line within 30 seconds and I hear him look over and laugh and say to his friend RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME “Oh I’m not actually allergic to cilantro I just don’t like it because it tastes soapy.” Me and my coworkers who just witnessed all the hoops I had to jump through during the busiest part of the day were pissed. Why would you even go here if you don’t like cilantro because everything we serve has it???? Fuck you dude. 

TLDR: Work at a restaurant where everything we serve has cilantro. Customer tells me he’s allergic to cilantro. Jump through a ton of hoops not to kill him with food during the busiest part of the day. Turns out he’s not even allergic, just hates cilantro. 

[sharkbabie-blog]

tag when you joined the internet and how accurate this is

2016: probably enjoys old memes unironically, no idea how anything works

2012-15: uses "XD" unironically, has a basic understanding of the internet

2010-11: is a fairly average person, advanced understanding of the internet, might be nostalgic

2006-09: wayyy too nostalgic, remembers the old days of youtube, wants things to be simpler, has a nostalgiagasm when remembering old internet, probably has old youtube amvs on their channel from when they were 12 or remembers watching youtube videos when they were 6, age varies from preteen to 20s

2000-05: remembers internet pre-facebook, pre-twitter and pre-youtube, youtube poop expert

the 90s: demigod of the internet, possesses unknown knowledge, reblogs 90s internet posts

the 80s: remembers when eternal september began, probably still uses usenet, possibly doesn't exist, possibly god

60s-70s: is literally actually god, is a human myth, rest is unknown

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]