Show me how? - Kim Minjeong x former trainee! Reader
Synopsis: you return… was that a good idea?
Genre: i did not check this for grammar errors. I mean the genre is angst… and ex lovers i think? Probably… i hope? Also I didn’t grammar check this (at all). Word count roughly:
Those eyes. The eyes that look back at you, in love, in tears, and last in pure hatred.
There you stood outside her door at SM entertainment. It was wrong… you shouldn’t be here not infront of this door again. It’s wrong going back to see your former team member. Heart laid out on the floor… and a pathetic excuse made up to enter the old practice room you were also in once before. The same handle you slammed behind you when you had enough of the lies of a promised debut, stopping of long hours, and isolations you felt. The overwhelming feeling of every single day chipping at you until you remain your truly bare self, the self loathing of wanting to be better, and the copious amount of failures to live of high goals whether by your own, or by overbearing management. That what memories laid behind that door, but… there was those eyes.
The eyes that looked so delicate, chocolate swirled ice cream, the dunes of sand that littered the lands, and home. The eyes that promised that once you had walked out of this room it would never lay a single gaze on you again, it wouldn’t meet your eyes, nor it would never carry that same affection as it once did before. You stood outside the room debating everything on why shouldn’t go in or not you hand place firmly on the cool stainless steel handle pressing it down before it clicked open.
“Hello?” Came out from a voice that echoed behind you. You jumped up in shock as your grip once on the handle before slip as you turned around catching the glimpse of those eye before elegantly crashing into the door landing on the hardwood floor with your back. You could hear gasps and cursed word fly from the 3 people in the room, and nothing from the person who was just behind you. You felt the pain of falling in your lower back as you flinched… you finally open your eyes met with hers.
“Oh. It’s you.” The cut throat remarks, and that steely gaze only belongs to one person Kim Minjeong. It was hard to describe what Minjeong and you were before the incident, best friends? Maybe closer than that, perhaps lovers? No… that was for sure the wrong labels but somewhere inbetween, feelings gets blurred, where your heart beats out of your chest. All of those feelings come to a fore front when meeting her gaze, that repulsing beat of your heart in your head, the sickening feeling in your stomach, and that disappointed gaze again. “How did you get in this time… I thought management didn’t allow strangers inside the building.” Stranger. Now that stung.
“Min-“ you tried to rattle off.
Minjeong interrupted, “Stop it. I don’t want to hear your explanation 5 years late. You have no right.”
“Stop, and wait a sec,“ that gaze, the one you would crumbled underneath before, and even now today. “I’m sorry I left.” Those 4 words… was the best you could muster up after 5 years.
“I don’t want your stupid apology after 5 years.” All by the side 3 girls watch this, the leader Jimin Yoo, the investigator Aeri Uchiga, and the secret holder Ning Yizhou. All visibly flinched at the cold remark that flew from the blonde girls mouth. You stared a Minjeong, your heart hurting so much more than it supposed to in what you naively thought would be a reunion.
The hum of the slightly broken radiator, the sweet notes that fell from her lips, and the delicate atmosphere of soft orange lighting thought out the practice room. But you had to break this peaceful facade. “Min, what if it all for nothing?” You confessed your feelings underneath you breath to her. The room fell still no more humming came from her, no more smile that sat atop of her lips, and no more eyes shaped like crescents. Instead it was poessed with a look of concern, and disbelief from the younger.
“Don’t say that. There’s company says we’re going to debut in 2 years remember.” She said still having firm beliefs in everything. That’s who Minjeong was at the end of the day, a person who had faith in everything.
“They said that 2 years ago too,” you retorted. Looking around, the laminated flooring littered with little scuff stains here and there, the computer connected to the speakers in the room, and the couch. “Maybe you’re right… I’m having too little faith in our company. What are the odds they’ll lie again this what the 3rd time they postponed our debut” a sarcastic remark was let out of you lips.
Minjeong moved more closely to you. You felt your heart beat raised as she smacked you on the head lightly for saying such things. “You shouldn’t say dumb things like that.” She chastised. From there she wrapped her arms around you, “stupid,” you tapped her arm comfortably.
“I know.” You said that statement. “Let’s go back to the dorm?” You looked back at the younger behind you who only smiled at the remark.
“Yea,” a tired sigh came from her mouth as she went to pack up. You stared at your bag as you put in your items, zipping it up like normal but the thought in your mind, what if this isn’t for me. You looked over at minjeong as she happily packs her bags, this thoughts pervades your mind. “Ready to go?” You sighed out as you loomed over her body watching her put her last remaining items in place as she hummed a tune.
“Yes.” You silently intertwined her fingers with hers and you left that studio behind to the tiny dorm.
You held Minjeong carefully as she slept. The orange tinge from the sunrise crept into the bedroom highlighting you unkempt bed, the multiple poster, and the trainee schedule that was posted at the end of your bed on the wall. The endless cycle has never stop, nor would it ever for you. You brushed the younger hair behind her ears as she slept. You stared at the ceiling, did it even matter how long, how much, even you attempted at becoming anything. You would always just fall short of everything just like your parents said. Your dance moves barely kept up with the high bar that every single one of the girls kept raising, your vocals rusty in compared to Nings angelic vocals. The only thing going for your sorry life was having okay skill at making music, and being able to have some semblance of rapping. You felt the sheet shifting as you look down minjeong had hug you back. Ah crap.
You brushed the hair out from her face as you stared at her as she stirs a little from the motion.
“Minjeong would you would never have another roommate right..?” you whispered not expecting an answer.
“Never,” she mumbled back falling back to sleep.
Today wasn’t anything special, a normal long draw day, and then came Aeri. The final blow. The one thing you brought from the group ripped away from you. Sm. The company. Decided that you were no longer fit for the main rapper job just being a sub rapper now that was a low blow. You sat there as Jimin greeted her with all smile and introducing to everyone and then to you who was just feeling numb. You just remember bowing to her and then the rest was a blur. The comments and the criticism never stopped in fact it got worse when Aeri came. The back hand compliments from trainees below you, the degrading criticism day by day, and worse Aeri and Minjeong got closer.
Replaced. That how you felt. How does one even over come that. You thought you were so secure in your position not even 2 years ago… but now the lack of everything getting to you. Your knees giving out and wanting to buckle, your head pounding with ache, and you body begging to stop at this sudden 3 am practice session to fulfill your ego that had taken every whiplash and beating these past couple of days. You were told that Aespa would be debut in a year… was that even going to be true. The constant delay of projects that you were in and taken out of. Maybe it was time to throw in the towel.
The cruel fast pace world of the K-pop maybe it wasn’t the life for a now burnt out broken soul. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. But then there was her. She would be so disappointed in you giving out. This beautiful girl who stuck by you thick and thin. What would she have to say if you left? You should’ve it out another year. You wouldn’t even know.
You packed up your things and headed back to her. To the dorms once more.
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a/n: hello… i think i may have misjudged how much workload… i have for my major. BUT DID YOU SEE THE AMOUNT OF THINGS THAT CAME OUT. THE MINI ALBUM FOR AESPA. IT WAS SUCH A GOOD STREAM ngl my fav its like a weird contrast from dirty work to rich man but interesting direction. NGL… there’s a part 2 to this… but I’m kinda lazy to finish it… so you’re unfortunately gonna have to wait… idk why they wont let put the line breakers anymore
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