taylor price
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Noah Kahan
if i look back, i am lost
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@shatterpoints-and-fractures
Just now realizing my version of Pre-war Anakin Solo is, in personality and looks, based off of Alphonse Elric
Post-War-and-extensive-therapy Anakin, meanwhile, is a wise and thoughtful senator on the clock and a six foot tall puppygirl off the clock.
Little Grogu ends up in daycare with Luke’s other gremlin Ben Skywalker while Luke and Mara are off on missions and Luke WONDERS why the first thing his son tries to toddle after is a fucking frog of all things. They don’t know how to convince him that he can’t eat live frogs. Grogu argues there’s not issue with it. Luke has Din come by to pick his terror up early so they can figure out how to get Ben to eat tubers and not live animals. I just want surprise baby Ben hanging out with Grogu who’s been a student here for like ten years. They’re buddies. Artoo teaches them bad words.
my lovely mutual @anakinapologist501 requested some fic recs of anakin and mara jade from legends, so here's a couple of them i've read:
limpet au by frodogenic: legends continuity; anakin survives rotj but he and the executor crew get lost in the unknown regions for 25 years before making it back to the wider galaxy, and now has to settle into the role of grandfather to the next generation of skywalker-solos. they interact quite a few times throughout the au, if it helps.
ranov'la by spacewall: anakin defects early and helps cody found a clone-based rebel sect. while they don't directly interact in the series, chapter 1 of tom'urcir touches on what anakin thinks of mara jade and luke recruiting her to the rebels.
untitled double agent vader snippet by fialleril: in which mara is trained to be an inquisitor/replacement sith apprentice and a not-so-evil anakin adopts her (no shipping with luke in this au, though). disclaimer: fia isn't a fan of much of the eu in general and sees this au's mara as an oc and not necessarily mara jade from legends, but the ficlet appears to be well-received by mara jade fans.
"Joy and resistance. Sacrifice, survival. Growth, change... the freedom to choose. That is the story we wish to tell. The story we wish to live. But we don't have the chance. Always someone comes with their own ideas... to make our story into theirs."
"If I could choose, I would choose children. Running, careless, through a field. If I could choose, the sky would be filled with kites, and laughter. If I could choose, it would not be filled with so many bombs."
"If I could choose, it would be different. If I could choose, I'd choose almost anything but this. But it's not our story anymore. It's theirs. In their story, we are furniture, or primitives, not people. In their story, our deaths are not celebrated, or mourned, or noticed. In their story, our deaths do not count. We are not even numbers to them."
"Violence is so common in their stories... so sudden and so senseless. Violence against each other... violence against themselves... It's all the same for them, always life-and-death. If they could really choose, would they choose this? No. I don't believe it. I think it's swallowed them, their story. I think we're all caught in it together."
"If I could choose, it would be different. If I could choose, I'd save them all. But we don't get to choose, do we? Do we?"
"This is our story. Call it fiction-- I dare you. Our story. Look at what they do to it. If I could choose, I would choose children... I'd raise them up strong here... in this place they call graveyard of empires."
"They call it a graveyard and then do everything to make it true. Are these the stories you find in a graveyard? There's life everywhere. Graveyard? It wasn't. Not a graveyard, or game, or adventure. Not a proving ground, or an alien planet, or a place to become a man... Not a conquest, or duty, or opportunity, or resource... Afghanistan is the center of the world... and our story is the story of the 20th century. A story of genius, miracle, and martyr."
"If I could choose, I would choose children. Running, careless, through a field."
What a great fucking comic. One of the top 5 I have read in my entire life. Deniz Camp is a generational writer.
I was never particularly into Star Wars growing up…until I read the X-Wing novels by Michael Stackpole and Aaron Allston. Fucking awesome. Asyr Sei’lar was a Bothan pilot who served with Rogue Squadron under Wedge Antilles during the New Republic Era. She’s what got me into Bothans, so…here ya go.
ruminating on vader further: i think after all these years of Total Cultural Dominance and of course the immense sympathy the prequel trilogy bathes him in, it's easy to overlook how terrified the original trilogy is of vader. he spends very little time as a character and much more as this creeping manifestation of everything our heroes dread. where there's dark, there's vader. where there's violence, there's vader. multiple shots position him against the vastness of space, almost blending into it, just this omnipresent demon. the jedi's plan is to get luke to kill him. that is all. obi-wan and yoda have spent ~2 decades of their lives hoping and praying and aspiring to getting luke to kill him. luke loving vader and bringing him to the light isn’t something they can even entertain, and they think any attempt will only lead to more darkness. it is the ultimate, near-supernatural feat for luke to do so. and even then, vader is in the light for about five minutes and dies in agony. it's why i can't take a lot of posts these days that fret over anakin being possessive or angry or people liking anakin seriously. like first of all, he is the greatest and most famous bottomless pit of misery in american cinema, no amount of anakin blogging will undo that, and he's not real. second of all, star wars works best when it's about this tension between vader as something unspeakable and evil, and vader as a real person that does love and has been loved in return. it's just what's like to have a dad, really,
we don’t talk enough about ferus olin. “darth vader’s middle school rival” is simply supreme character design
i just think we should appreciate the fact that ferus olin had mean girls levels of nonsense to pull in anakin's direction, but anakin is not cady, anakin is a thirteen year old playing with tech decks. like ferus olin is in the jedi high school age bracket saying "don't trust that kid, he's dangerous" but the guy he points to is a seventh grader sipping on a gogurt pouch and swinging his legs in the jedi middle school cafeteria. like, anakin is solidly in the "avid power rangers fan" phase of life, and ferus is not, i cannot emphasize this enough.
which means star wars from the point of view of ferus olin is an ABC made-for-TV film about the horrors of bullying, if movies about the horrors of bullying ended with the middle schooler you bullied becoming a mechanical xenomorph deathcultist who displays his distaste for people in showers of gore exclusively. like a real We Need To Talk About Kevin scenario. i think ferus olin and rush clovis need to form a support group for people who fucked with anakin skywalker without realizing that not only was anakin crazy, he was also homicidal, and now their old rival is seven feet tall, made of metal, way more unstable, and has a cold, cold heart filled with many grudges.
Them: Who’s your favourite Star Wars character?
Me: (Pulls out 10 X-Wing Star Wars legends books) So his name is Wedge & he’s just a lad who wants to run his squadron in peace & no one he hangs out with is sane
It's vitally important to recognize that Wedge isn't sane, either. Like, he is hampered by the responsibility of being a public figure in a position of some authority within the New Republic government, but remember that this absolute madlad refused promotion to general multiple times just so he could keep playing chicken with Imperial turbolasers. The people he surrounds himself with are more obviously off their rockers, sure, but Wedge chose to surround himself with them. Remember, hijacking an imperial cruiser by hiding a Gamorrean in a smuggling compartment with nothing but a sawed-off turbolaser and sheer chutzpah may have been his squad's plan, but Wedge approved it. Just because the burden of responsibility forces him to pretend like he's normal and well-adjusted doesn't mean he's not a crazy little space gremlin born with a tragic lack of self-preservation instincts, it just means he hides it better than most.
Jedi critical fans: The Council were so flawed that they never would've listened to Fives' information about the chips if he'd tried to tell them, they'd have dismissed it entirely!
The Jedi Council In Canon: *Start planning treason against Palpatine the minute he makes it clear he won't stop the war and try for peace even after Dooku is dead.*
The Jedi Council In Canon: *Literally are on their way to arrest Palpatine for corruption before they ever even discover he's a Sith.*
The Jedi Council In Canon: *Immediately believe Anakin when he tells them that Palpatine is a Sith, despite recent difficulty between Anakin and the Council.*
Me: Really? THAT Jedi Council? THAT'S the Council you think are too flawed to believe Fives when he tells them that a politician they already don't like because they know he's corrupt is actually an evil Sith Lord trying to kill them all? THAT Council? Are you sure?
I am team ‘The Jedi way of life is not abusive’ and ‘there are parts of jedi culture that anakin probably would have struggled to reconcile with his past as a child slave’ are statements that absolutely should co-exist. However I am also team ‘Anakin lost the right to say jack about it when he started murdering children’.
if we can set aside attachment discourse for a moment (please) i think the jedi marriage prohibition makes sense in a “please don’t enter a complex legal, financial, social, and in some cases religious contract, the specifics of which vary wildly depending on planet and culture” way. the single jedi with a law degree does not have time to draft everyone’s prenups to prevent the whole order from getting sued
#we could create so many interesting new problems if we ignore romance and make it about contracts generally#jedi prohibition on getting a loan. jedi prohibition on signing a waiver before bungee jumping. etc
"Qui-Gon didn't try to buy Anakin or the engine because there wasn't anyone in town who offered a credit exchange service" wrong. Qui-Gon gambled for Anakin under the table because after dealing with the Cyrkon Delinquency of 24850, Master Olobi, Esq, has personally promised to hang by the the toes from the highest tower of the Temple for one week any Jedi who generates any trackable legal transaction or obligation between the Order and the Hutts.
ahsoka doods
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the fanonization of the melida/daan arc
Fandom:
The Text:
Qui-Gon and Yoda: "Time it is for you to speak your heart," Yoda said softly. "Past time, it is." With a heavy sigh, Qui-Gon sat on the bench next to Yoda. He did not want to unburden his heart. Yet Yoda had a right to know the facts. "He stayed," Qui-Gon said simply. "He told me he had found something on Melida/Daan that was more important than his Jedi training."
The events he's referencing from Obi-Wan's perspective: 1): "Qui-Gon, you must understand," Obi-Wan said quietly. "I've found something here. All my life, I have been told what is right, what is best. The path has been pointed out to me. That was a great gift, and I'm grateful for all I've learned. But here on this world all those abstractions I've learned suddenly fit into something concrete. Something I can see. Something real." Obi-Wan gestured back toward the headquarters of the Young. "These people feel like my people. This cause feels like my cause. It calls to me like nothing I've ever felt before." 2): Obi-Wan realized he had already chosen. He couldn't turn his back on this suffering. He couldn't turn his back on his friends. Even if it cost him everything. He would give that, and more. "I'll be back," Obi-Wan promised, and took off. Obi-Wan ran without stopping. He had to get to the ship before Qui Gon. He did not want a confrontation. If Qui-Gon tried to stop him, what would he do? He pushed aside the thought. He would just have to get there first. Tahl would slow Qui-Gon down. 3): His steps slowed as Qui-Gon caught sight of him. Obi-Wan saw the relief on his Master's face. Qui-Gon thought he was coming to return with him to the Temple. The Jedi Knight stood by the entrance ramp, waiting. Obi-Wan didn't give Qui-Gon a chance to speak. He could not bear to hear words of welcome. "I'm not here to go with you," he said. "I came for the starfighter." 4): Obi-Wan grasped the rock of his conviction and felt his confusion drop away. Here on Melida/Daan he had met a reality that was stronger than anything he'd known. "I have found something here more important than the Jedi code," Obi-Wan said slowly. "Something not only worth fighting for, but worth dying for." Obi-Wan handed his lightsaber to Qui-Gon. "You may go, Qui-Gon Jinn. But I will stay." It was as though the words hit Qui-Gon in the face, for he flinched. He stared down at Obi-Wan's lightsaber in his hand, not speaking. A great struggle seem to go on within the Jedi Knight's powerful body. Obi-Wan had hurt him. He longed to take the words back. He could not. They had been said. He had meant them. 5): Obi-Wan stood next to Nield and Cerasi. It was a historic moment. He had helped to shape it. He had no regrets about leaving the Jedi. He was home.
The Fandom:
The Text:
What happened when Qui-Gon was called to meet with the council: Qui-Gon was in his quarters when he got the message that he was to report to the Jedi Council immediately. He was most likely being called to report on what had happened with Obi-Wan. He rose with a sigh. He had returned to the Temple for peace. Instead, he was forced to relive the situation over and over. Still, a request from the Council could not be ignored. Part of being a Jedi was recognizing that one's own wisdom had limits. The Council was made up of the wisest and best of the Jedi Masters. If they wanted to hear from Qui-Gon directly, he would tell them. Qui-Gon entered the Council room. It was the highest room in one of the Temple towers, taking up the entire top story. Outside the windows that ran from floor to ceiling, the spires and towers of Coruscant hovered below. The sun was just rising, brushing the clouds with orange fire. Qui-Gon stood in the center of the room, bowed respectfully, and waited. How would they begin? Would Mace Windu, whose dark eyes could burn through you like hot coals, demand his reason for leaving a thirteen-year-old boy in the middle of a war? Would Saesee Tiin murmur that Qui-Gon's actions had always come from an impulsive but giving heart? He had been called before the Council more than most Knights. He could guess at what each would say. Yoda began the meeting. "Call you here on a matter of grave importance we have. Secret it is. A series of thefts we have discovered." Qui-Gon was startled. He had not been prepared for this.
What the council reprimanded Obi-Wan for on his return: Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke up. "Obi-Wan, you have violated not only the trust of Qui-Gon, but the trust of the Council. You seem not to recognize this." "But I do!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "I take responsibility for it and I'm sorry for it." "You are thirteen years old, Obi-Wan. You are not a child," Mace Windu said with a frown. "Why do you speak as one? Sorry does not make the offense disappear. You interfered in the internal affairs of a planet without official Jedi approval. You defied the order of your Master. A Master depends on the loyalty of the Padawan, just as the Padawan depends on the Master. If that trust is broken, the bond shatters." The sting of Mace's words made Obi-Wan wince. He did not expect the Council to be so severe. He couldn't look at Qui-Gon. His gaze found Yoda's. "Unclear your path is, Obi-Wan," Yoda said with more gentleness. "Hard it is to wait. But wait you must to see your way revealed."
I think the way that everyone in these scenes handles the situation highlights really nicely the huge and inherent difference between a Master-Padawan relationship and a parent-child one.
Anyone who has ever been in a parent or caretaker role agrees that leaving the child you're responsible for to their own devices in a place where they could get killed is a failure as a parent/caretaker. But in-universe and in-Jedi way of life, the point of the Master-Padawan structure is a training relationship. Obviously the Master must make sure their apprentice stays alive, but their prerogative is to teach them through example how to embody being a Jedi in the wider galaxy. And i think thats important for three points.
1) Saying "hell no you're not" and dragging obi-wan by the collar off the planet is what any reasonable parent would do. But not what a Jedi would do. A Jedi would not assert their own desires over someone's agency and moral convictions.
2)Heavily related to point 1, but Padawans are allowed to leave the order. Even if obi wan chose the seemingly worst possible situation to do it in, its his right and his Master can't take that away from him.
3) Padawans are a weird social category that seems to transcend adulthood vs childhood for the jedi. We see that in Mace's comment. A lot of fandom (including myself) seems to reckon with this by splitting the category into Junior (child) and senior (adult) padawan, but as far as i know that's not canon at all. Whatever standard of conduct Obi-Wan is held to at 13 is the same one he is held to at 25.
All that to say, it feels so wrong from our perspective to treat a 13 year old as someone with the cognitive and physical ability and agency to handle themselves in a warzone. And yet the council seems to suggest that leaving him was the right thing to do. Which is what makes it so fun to think about imo. Is there any way to make it make sense? Can we consider the training that initiates go through having matured him enough to make that choice? Is it really reasonable to hold padawans of that age to the standards of active members of the Jedi order and representatives of the republic? Or is the Jedi perspective the only one that would make leaving Obi-Wan the right thing to do?
Receipts to support your points (also from Jedi Apprentice 5: Defenders of the Dead, the first book in the Melida/Daan arc):
"How did you blow the deflection towers?" Qui-Gon asked Nield and Cerasi curiously. It was a question that had been bothering him since he'd heard the news. "You'd have to hit them from the air. But floaters couldn't do that job. You'd need …" Qui-Gon paused. He turned to face Obi-Wan. Slowly, Obi-Wan pushed his chair back. Qui-Gon heard it scrape against the stone floor. Then he stood. He did not fidget or look away. He met Qui-Gon's gaze. "So it was you," Qui-Gon said. "You took the starfighter. You took it knowing it was our only way off the planet. You took it knowing it was the only hope for Tahl." Obi-Wan nodded. Cerasi and Nield glanced from one Jedi to the other. Cerasi began to speak, but thought better of it. The tension between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was private. "Please come with me, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said curtly. He led the way to an adjacent tunnel where they could talk privately. He waited a few moments to compose himself. Bitterness had no place here. Yet he felt it surge within him. Obi-Wan had broken his trust. He did not know what to say. His emotions swamped him. Qui-Gon recalled his Temple training with an effort. He would admonish his Padawan according to Jedi rules. First, he would describe the offense. It was the duty of the Master to do so without judgment. Grateful for a guide, Qui-Gon took a deep breath. "You were instructed not to take sides." "Yes," Obi-Wan responded calmly. It was the duty of a Padawan to agree to his fault without argument. "You were instructed to be available to leave at any time," he said. "Yes," Obi-Wan replied. "You were instructed that Tahl's health was your first concern. Yet you endangered that health by taking our only form of transport on a dangerous mission." "Yes," Obi-Wan agreed. Qui-Gon swallowed painfully. "By doing all this, you not only put Tahl at risk, but the peace process on Melida/Daan as well." Obi-Wan hesitated for the first time. "I aided the peace process -" "That is your interpretation," Qui-Gon interrupted. "It was not your instruction. Your Master and Jedi Master Yoda had decided that Jedi intervention at this stage could only prejudice either the Melida or Daan, thereby sabotaging the peace process. You were told this. Is that true, Obi-Wan?" "Yes," Obi-Wan admitted. "It is true." Qui-Gon paused. He gathered himself to deliver the Jedi wisdom of the Master and Padawan relationship. How the rules had evolved over thousands of years. How the Padawan's pledge of obedience had nothing to do with power, but everything to do with the gaining of wisdom and the humility of service. How he was not here to punish Obi-Wan, or even to teach him, but to aid Obi-Wan's own journey and enlightenment until the day he grew to become a Jedi Knight.
As for reconciling modern sensibilities with Star Wars' treatment of children... I'm tempted to write a full essay bc it's a thing I'm passionate about, but i don't think my brain has the power for that rn so I'll limit myself to just the highlights:
"Childhood" as we conceive of it today is a very modern construct, and one that has a lot of limitations in its practice, application, and practicability
There's some genre stuff going on here that all star wars media struggles with to some extent; Star Wars was always intended to appeal to children as well as adults, and in children's media, children tend to be the characters going on adventures and engaging with the plot. Hence a large number of teenage protagonists in the expanded universe: Obi-Wan in Jedi Apprentice, Zak and Tash in Galaxy of Fear, Anakin and friends in Jedi Quest, Ahsoka in the Clone Wars, Ezra in Rebels, etc. etc. etc.
in order for children to frontline plot in media for young audiences, adults can either 1) enable shenanigans (Dumbledore, Gobber the Belch in HtTYD, etc) or 2) be incapable of preventing shenanigans, either by ignorance (the parents in Magic Treehouse, Secrets of Droon, etc) or powerlessness (Sally Jackson, Leif's parents in Deltora Quest, etc). They cannot protect, at least not completely. I think it would be really interesting to try to write a children's adventure/saving the world series a la star wars or deltora quest or whatnot in which the adults successfully protect the children from the plot; the part of me that says nothing is totally impossible says it must be doable somehow, but I can't personally come up with anything, at least in the last 8 or so years that I've been considering such a project and revisiting it whenever I have the time to try to come up with something
I recall reading something somewhere (great at citing my sources, i know, but if I find a link I'll throw it in here) about a conversation between Lucas and Filoni where Filoni was like "Ahsoka is a child soldier! She's going to be traumatized!" and Lucas was like "Ahsoka is a padawan. She's been prepared for this, and has the skills and abilities to do what she needs to do." And I think that's a bit of tension that lives everywhere in star wars, all the time, forever
I think it's really important not to forget that padme is 14 in phantom menace. "children" have had adult roles in canon since the prequels came out and reducing their agency is not a reading that is supported by canon
I'll make a separate section here for my personal conclusions, since no one has to agree with me on them, but my personal interpretation:
People exist on a sliding scale of capability, culpability, and agency. Everyone reaches different milestones in those things at different times in their life, aided or hindered in those developmental steps by their environment and personal temperament and whole lot else.
I think it only makes sense that the Jedi Temple would be a place that emphasizes cultivating agency and capability from a young age, so that when young Jedi become apprentices (which, in JA, happens at a pretty normal age for historical apprenticeship in most fields, actually) they would be prepared to act in the roles expected of a Jedi regardless of age. Just as a printer's apprentice would have tasks he'd need to do for the rest of his life as a printer-- sweeping, cleaning, maintaining the press, inking, typesetting, etc-- Jedi apprentices are expected to complete tasks that they'll need to be able to do for the rest of their lives as Jedi: negotiation, investigation, protection of the innocent, and, importantly, moral decision-making with an expectation of having considered the possible consequences of those decisions and chosen to accept those outcomes.
With that in mind, and the understanding that children do their best to perform to the level that they are expected to meet, regardless of actual capability, I think it makes a lot of sense that Obi-Wan, over the course of the Jedi Apprentice series and especially during the Melida/Daan arc, goes through experiences in which he has to make decisions about his own moral beliefs and then enact those moral boundaries, and has to learn what is in his control and what is not, and has to deal with the fact that while he made a choice for the right reasons and was able to do a good amount on his own, there are still consequences, both unintended ones and ones that he thought he had accepted but is now actually having to deal with. There is still broken trust that "sorry" is not going to be enough to fix, even though that very real sorrow goes to the very depths of his soul.
These are the kinds of decisions and consequences that Jedi deal with all the time, and if he has to grapple with them at a younger age than most, it's a result of his own choices, which the adults around him honor in order to allow him to cultivate his own agency. It's not just the Jedi; pretty much everyone he meets throughout the series expects Obi-Wan to act with the same moral authority as an adult, if not with the same level of reasoning. And part of that is going to be a genre thing, but part of it is also just... being a Jedi. Being apprenticed to a Jedi. Because a Jedi's trade is to steer the direction of nations planets, toward peace whenever possible-- but it's not always possible. And so an apprentice to the Jedi's trade is prepared, from the time they come to the temple, to perform the tasks and use the tools and make the decisions that are required in order to be an effective Jedi-- including decisions like "I want to leave this path and do something else."
Surviving* Force users circa 10 ABY
From left to right: Quinlan (~70) & Grogu (~50), Cere (~70), Cal (~40), Merrin (~40), Luke (29), Leia (29), Ahsoka (46), Ezra (29), Vah'nya (32)
*I drew who I wanted to don't @ me. I also didn't include anyone born after 19 bby
I feel that any even remotely canon compliant version of Darth Vader surviving Endor and/or defecting from the Empire plays out like Megatron in the IDW comics.
He calls for the Empire to be torn down, calls for Imperial soldiers to lay down their arms, go home or join the Rebellion. He helps hunt down the Emperor's hidden projects, his Inquisitors, his Hands, Warlords and would be demagogues, he helps gather remaining Jedi knowledge and lay a foundation for a new order. He does as much good as he can, makes as much peace as he can, struggles and stumbles and falls but ultimately pulls himself back into the Light. Perhaps he even pulls some others back into the Light with him.
But it doesn't change what he was, what he spent nearly a quarter of a century doing, the atrocities he will forever be the symbol of. It doesn't change how half the galaxy wants his head. It doesn't change what his sentence must be.
It only gives him the ability to accept his fate. His last words to the galaxy are a warning against men like Palpatine, the corruption that let him into power and the ability of bright eyed boys who idolize Jedi and want people to help each other to be twisted, to lose their way and fall to darkness.
It's Leia who swings the sword, because asking Luke would be too cruel a request, the symbolism is too great, and Leia has made her own peace with her biological father, if not forgiveness, and she is willing to grant him the peace that many think he does not deserve.
When the sword falls and an empty cloak flutters to the ground, Anakin Skywalker visits his son for one last goodbye, and the woman who might have been his daughter for one last thank you, before letting himself fade into the Force.
It is redemption as action even if few are wont to admit it. But it is resolution nevertheless.
Something something redemption not as a state but as action (I know I mentioned that already) concerted efforts towards reclamation and balancing the scales, and in this manner Anakin can find no true redemption while simultaneously redeeming himself every day.
Something something the galaxy calling for his head as much an act of fear as is of rage, his execution undeserved because there's more good he can do, more crimes to pay for. He deserves a chance to improve as any Imperial-turned-Rebel does, he deserves to rot forgotten in a cell with only his thoughts to accompany him, he deserves leniency but that would be a disservice to those he wronged he deserves cruelty but that would be a betrayal of everything the New Republic stands for, and an execution just puts an end to it all, at least in a sense.
It's the death of the symbol of the Empire, it's the New Republic's hypocrisy, it's a Princess claiming a vengeance she finds she's not comfortable with, it's a son saving a father but losing him regardless. It's a war criminal getting his just desserts, it's a miscarriage of justice for an undeserving man. Good riddance. Have mercy. He will be missed. He will be cursed.
But it's over. It's over now, and the galaxy can move on.
Can they?
Luke and Mara have weird pillow talk and at least one conversation becomes a long winded thought experiment about what they would do if they ended up in the clone wars (And just going to the Jedi is too obvious, think of something else).
As a result, Luke has a plan on how he'd hijack a droid army and start breaking out the Rebel playbook while Mara has a list of Republic officers turned "good imperials" she'd assassinate (a lot easier to get to than Palpatine)
Leia hears about it and joins in with her own plans to destabilize the situation.
Han just plans to get young him to Somewhere Else.
Chewie thinks if he met past him it would cause a paradox that would erase them both.
I realize I've written something like 100k words of Dark Empire AU
BUT LISTEN
The comics were a lot of Force woo and superweapons but it makes so much more sense as an existential threat to the New Republic if you add just a pinch of tactical grit.
The existing set up places the Reborn Emperor's sanctuary planet of Byss in the Deep Core, which is completely inaccessible unless you have secret hyperspace routes (which the NR at the time did not).
But you know what tactics work really really well if you have an inaccessible sanctuary to retreat to?
That's right, guerilla hit and run tactics.
You take your Imperial Navy, organize them into fast, hard-hitting task forces that run decapitation strikes on critical NR infrastructure from Deep Core hyperspace routes, and then you vanish back to Byss where the NR can't follow.
The vast majority of the imperial command structure isn't trained to think like that! Conventional Imperial military doctrine is numerical superiority: throw more bodies and more Star Destroyers at the problem.
But you who knows that playbook really really well, and who Palpatine elevated to Supreme Commander of the Imperial Fleet at that time? And who incidentally has both the authority and lack of moral guardrails during this storyline to Force choke the imperial command structure into bending?
Luke kriffing Skywalker, of course.
(And yeah, he got the job through shameless nepotism, but it's a good fit.)
You show this guy Byss and he thinks, "holy shit the hidden Rebel base of my dreams AND industrial manufacturing capacity??"
And now suddenly the storyline isn't just "Palpatine came back and now he has a new superweapon that's incidentally shaped like a penis, and also Luke fell and that's sad," it's "Luke Skywalker is running the playbook that won us the Galactic Civil War, now with overwhelming resources and a complete lack of moral guardrails."
Which is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN THE PENIS GUN
FURTHERMORE
Dark Empire just completely fails to mine the absolutely peak comedy of handing a Rebel hero a Sith syllabus with the Rule of Two that grants you explicit ideological encouragement to kill your master
The comics were written with a lot of vibes and the themes of family/legacy, and the fundamental thesis that Luke Skywalker is or has the capability to be just like his father.
Which is true! They're both impulsive, emotional drama kings who need deep familial connection and have a deep need to save people, and Palpatine wouldn't have been completely off to go, "oh hey, Vader Jr., I just follow the preexisting Skywalker template - bet," which is exactly what the comics imply happen.
Luke's fall is framed as curiosity to learn more about the Dark Side, to know what his father had known, and the desire to overthrow the Empire from within (or, the comic says, "overthrow the Dark Side from within," but let's gloss over that metaphysical improbability and assign a more reasonable motive).
BUT
Anakin (bless his heart) was always a little bit fashy.
And Luke IS A REBEL whose core political instinct is "when tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty."
His political compass is "fuck you, I do what I want" (+ mutual aid when the Jedi Bits are appropriately turned on), and this is anti-authoritarian bent is deeply baked into his psyche; he's a political insurgent who got radicalized after his family was killed through state violence, and nearly his entire adult life has been devoted to eliminating the Empire.
He's also just canonically bad at listening to his master - Yoda says "finish your training" in ESB, and Luke's like, "thanks for your suggestion, but actually I'm going to go save my friends and have my ass handed to me by Vader."
You put a Sith syllabus with the Rule of Two in front of this boy and he sees:
"I've been given explicit ideological encouragement to murder my master."
"I just need to finish learning what I need, and then the final exam is regicide."
"The explicit win condition is kill Palpatine."
"Bet."
Shave off some pesky Jedi coded moral guardrails like, "murder is bad, actually," and suddenly the Rule of Two becomes a mission objective rather than an aspiration
OF COURSE THAT WILL BACKFIRE
This storyline could have SLAPPED, and instead we got a penis gun superweapon.
