UP SAW LIZ

23 | Muay Thai | Singapore/Boston One life and one chance, the world in front of me.

[sheeshwhateven]

Seattle was work, sickness, knocking out for 16 hours, Kerry Park and hanging out in the Queen Anne neighbourhood

Very Christina Yang

[theone1n]

[sheeshwhateven]

Back in NYC for a weekend and it feels like no time has passed. It’s as if this summer is just a continuation of the previous and things are the same

But they are not

I am lucky to have friends that I love, and I am even luckier that they love me back

Life doesn’t seem all that serious after all

Lovely to see two of my favourite worlds colliding

New York or Nowhere

It’s a big change from the last. I actually feel fulfilled and loved. It’s as if life finally fell into place

Guess it’s a reminder that I have the power to change parts of my life if something isn’t working out

[sheeshwhateven]

I’ve changed in a way that I struggle to put into words

Zero regrets

I will make it, because I am insane

Something about pushing aside the fear and just doing it

I need to fix my eating schedule

With such limited time, it all boils down to my true priorities. Realising that not a lot matters, and what does, do

[thenbhd]

DC

[bob-belcher]

[kocalls]

[sheeshwhateven]

I am struggling but I know I need to stick to it

I am now fully committed to Singapore and everything that comes with

Temporary, everything is impermanent - I need to learn how to appreciate the time that I am in no matter how hard it is

I find it hard to hold on to good memories but cling on to bad ones endlessly. I'm too afraid that I'll fall into the trap of nostalgia and dislike the present, but in doing so I am stripping away parts of my identity

29 was a good year. Perhaps even the best of my 20s. Can't tell if it's the nostalgia kicking in, but man. And that's the thing - I did treasure it when I was going through it, I knew that it was going to be a fleeting time in my life and I was right

Because things are so drastically different now, and I can't go back

I made this choice, and I know exactly the reasons. I knew what I was getting into, and now I am in it

So why do I find it this hard

[haert]

CRISTINA YANG in Grey's Anatomy | 3.02 "I Am a Tree"

[sheeshwhateven]

Guess it's no more running from Singapore

[sheeshwhateven]

K. by Cigarettes After Sex looped in my head on my last day at work

It’s been a year of leaving places and people

[sheeshwhateven]

SIN/OSL/NYC

Goodbye burner phones

[sheeshwhateven]

Life is weird because one moment you’re having a crazy day at work, and the next you’re back to doing cleans with two thirds of your bodyweight at a tiny CrossFit gym in HCM

[sheeshwhateven]

29.

Humans have a preference for whole numbers

I turn 30 tomorrow, that number has never quite took up space in my mind, it never quite felt like I was about to bleed into another decade of my life

But being 29 has been an immense experience. I was away from home the most I'd ever been in a long time, but strangely felt more attached to home than I'd ever been

That's the thing about scarcity, you only treasure something when you know it's finite. There were bouts of frustration at the accounting of hours and the countdown to when my time would be depleted in places, but there was also this sense of calm and appreciation for the moments when they were being lived

I have no regrets, and I would like to remain as such

It's strange because growing up I would have never envisioned a life this transitory, and I am starting to realise that permanence is something to be made - it is not a given, it is only through deliberate action and decisiveness that stability and constantness is born. It is through effort and strength that I am able to maintain relationships and connection to places.

I learned this year that the cost of community is convenience, and that I should make an effort to show up for the right people

People come and go, but the ones that stay, stay. And I appreciate the ones that do

There is so much about this year that I struggle to put my experiences and thoughts and feelings into words. I hope to find the words some day.

I do know that I am on some sort of trajectory that I am happy with. I have a goal to be even leaner and stronger. I also want to be mentally healthier, and would like to seek therapy for it

I learned yesterday that I should be less afraid of failing and more afraid if I do not fail - the path of least resistance is not a path worth taking

[sheeshwhateven]

“You’ll hire someone else who’s better for your PnL.”

“Hmmm, not really. They wouldn’t have your sense of humour.”

:(

[sheeshwhateven]

A quote I’ve been trying to live up to - I am exactly the person I think I am

Selective in memory, selective in identity

[sheeshwhateven]

quotes from Killing Eve season 4 that’s been stuck in my head

reinvention is avoidance

they trained me to be like this, so maybe I can be trained out of it

charity begins at home (hilarious)